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Overview
you are entirely happy with your poem / you are not happy then there is no charge and your deposit is returned / you are totally satisfied with the outcome / you are a man / you are a little confused / you are entirely happy with your poem / you are not happy then there is no charge and your deposit is returned / you are totally satisfied with the outcome . . .
“Apostrophe” is:
a) a figure of speech in which a person, an abstract quality or a nonexistent entity is addressed as though present
b) a poem written in 1993 in which every sentence is an apostrophe
c) a program—apostropheengine.ca—based on the 1993 poem that hijacks search engines in order to extend the poem infinitely
d) a book of poetry written using the website
The answer:
e) all of the above.
Bill Kennedy and Darren Wershler-Henry’s Apostrophe contains all of these things, except the search engine (but you can visit that any time you like). Each line from the original poem has become the title of a new poem generated by the program’s metonymic romp through the World Wide Web. Phrases rub against each other promiscuously; poems and readers alike come to their own conclusions. The results are by turns poignant, banal, offensive and hilarious, but always surprising and always unaffected. In other words, everything a book of contemporary poetry should be, and then some.
Poet and scholar Charles Bernstein has suggested that Apostrophe may be related to Freud’s notion of the uncanny, a somnambulistic drift that appears aimless yet somehow always returns to “you.” Apostrophe is an entirely new kind of poetry: neither stable nor unstable, sections come and go, but the overall shape of the poem remains vaguely familiar, like a trick of memory.
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Read an Excerpt
Apostrophe
By Bill Kennedy, Darren Wershler-Henry
ECW PRESS
Copyright © 2006 Bill Kennedy and Darren Wershler-HenryAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-55490-266-8
CHAPTER 1
apostrophe (ninety-four)
you are a deftly turned phrase, an etymological landscape, a home by the sea • you are a compilation of more than 60 samples overlaid on top of a digitally synthesized '70s funk groove • you are the message on a cassette tape long after it has been recorded over • you are, as such, the eraser head's self-validating ideal of order • you are a festering war wound incurred in a skirmish between the US and Canada over rights to a pig farm strategically located on what is now referred to as the world's longest undefended border, making you a better meteorologist than any one of the "big three" networks, or the CBC for that matter, can muster • you are used and abused • you are a distress property bought by Tom Vu and sold for an outrageous profit • you are ossifying sweat on Robert Plant's performance towel, now in the possession of a man who is thinking about auctioning it off because he has decided he would rather listen to "new country" • you are an onion ring with an identity crisis on the Korona Restaurant's "Transylvanian Meat Platter" • you are an easy-riding H that just knew you would be stopped by police, cuffed, hauled in and strip-searched while you were making your way through the mountains in Georgia • you are everything your mother had hoped for and more • you are track lighting gone bad, a one-time energy saver now driving a gas-guzzling '71 Impala • you are considering touching that dial • you are a pretense to universality • you are the top quark • you are one of a family of Dirt Devil carpet cleaners •you are wondering at this moment whether you are merely a cleverly disguised rip-off • you are a foreign agent who accidentally ruptured an emergency cyanide tooth cap just before your rendezvous with a thin man in a lumber jacket standing by a garbage can on the patio of a McDonald's in Paris, who was to receive an attaché case containing vital information photo-reduced on microfilm, which, of course, you have no prior knowledge of • you are a mispronounced word with eyes stuck in an awkward position just like your parents warned you they would, trying to get a date with one of the "cool chicks" in your high school and having a difficult time of it • you are fibre ingested by a septuagenarian to promote regularity • you are a face in the crowd • you are secretly responsible for both the mysterious circles appearing overnight in British grain fields and getting the soft-flowing caramel into the Caramilk bars • you are not using the Force, Luke • you are fucked up in your own special way • you are toiling, neither do you spin • you are your own secret twin preparing to make an appearance on Ricki! • you are an immediately perceptible phenomenon elevated to the level of theological unity • you are accurate to a depth of 30 m • you are pecs on your pecs • you are thrown out for lack of evidence • you are a nested loop • you are getting sleepy • you are an ode to the west wind • you are made in your own image • you are wanted and loved ... as if • you are a case of halitosis, gingivitis, dandruff and split ends all rolled up into one • you are a granny knot undone by an older and wiser scout leader • you are a piece of performance art that deep down inside wants to be a bust of Beethoven sitting on a Steinway grand piano • you are a primal scream trying to differentiate yourself from an existential scream • you are a hockey stick broken over the spine of a 19th century hunchback you figured had no business playing street hockey in the first place • you are a healthy Hi-Pro glow • you are having paranoid delusions that a figure much like Henri Matisse's Blue Nude is following you around trying to get you to join the Jehovah's Witnesses • you are the distance between the hyperbolic curve at the y-axis • you are what you eat • you are a reified universal transcendental signifier • you are kind of pissed off that you were never given the choice of whether to be a sequitur or not • you are and if you aren't, who is? • you are not enough to get over the threshold • you are getting even sleepier • you are a fine piece of work, you are • you are a stupid English k(o)n-ig(g)ht • you are currently in search and destroy mode • you are a 60-cycle hum • you are a refutation of the Special Theory of Relativity • you are a parade of endless details • you are the lusts of your father • you are wondering at the audacity of some people who like to tell you just who they think you are • you are synaptic information lost in the aphasic shuffle • you are a means of production • you are the line cut out of the final edit by some guy using a PowerBook in a cheesy local Laundromat, or if you aren't you wish you were • you are being completely irrational • you are the wrong answer on the multiple choice section of the LSAT • you are feeling quite overwhelmed, you must say • you are exactly what they've been looking for and that should frighten you • you are the significant answer in an inkblot test • you are well on your way • you are the space between the heavens and the corner of some foreign field • you are rendered completely useless • you are a B- grade on a C paper • you are so beautiful, to me • you are unconsciously acting upon your cultural biases • you are a game of tic-tac-toe that, after dealing with an inferiority complex, beat up a game of "global-thermonuclear war" and kicked the shit out of Pentagon computers • you are on your way to the store to get a litre of milk, when this cow with the head and antlers of a moose sporting a black eye patch over his left eye comes up to you and says "you are on your way to the store to get a litre of milk, when this cow with the head and antlers of a moose sporting a black eye patch over his left eye comes up to you and says "'you are ...'" • you are the weak argument in an elaborate doctoral thesis • you are the miracle cure for halitosis, gingivitis, dandruff and split ends all rolled up into one, at least that's what your 19th century procurer, "Dr. Morgan," says as he travels from town to town trying to sell you • you are not but let's say you are • you are your favourite letter of the alphabet except H cuz that has already been taken • you are an asshole (eeo-ee-ole) • you are a soliloquy on a barren heath in a play that inspired Shakespeare's King Lear but has been lost for many centuries, last documented in the Earl of Derby's private collection in 1723 • you are billed as the "nicotine patch to the world" • you are everything you want in a drugstore • you are only as good as the next guy • you are the eggman, you are the eggman, you are the walrus (goo goo a' joob) • you are shovelling shit in a Roman stable • you are dead now, so shut up! • you are in the process of being palimpsested • you are an incestuous mess • you are available only through this limited TV offer • you are the party of the first part • you are a no-good, lazy son of a bitch • you are often replaced by an apostrophe • you are a big waste of time, for the most part • you are a poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and is heard no more • you are surely mistaken • you are a detachable penis • you are therefore you think • you are the side effects of performance-enhancing drugs • you are a bad case of blue-balls • you are boldly going where no man has gone before, but only as the disposable crew member who happens to be dumb enough to talk to a lump of painted grey Styrofoam and therefore, in my humble opinion, deserves to get it anyway • you are translated into 20 different languages • you are not smart, just hard working • you are a painting bought solely for the frame • you are the only one who really likes it, really • you are not a machine, you are a human being • you are corn, but we call it maize • you are dumb enough to spend your time typing out endless statements that begin with "you are" just to make a point and try to get some laughs, neither of which, in retrospect, you believe you will succeed in • you are the owner of the secret decoder ring and as such have a right to be president of the club • you are the interest accrued overnight by some clever electronic banking maneuver • you are and if you aren't you should be • you are misspelled in a grade six spelling bee by a kid who will eventually serve eight years in jail for manslaughter • you are better than bad, you're good • you are a quote within a quote desperately trying to escape • you are a most noble swain • you are in absentia •you are engaging in self-nullifying behaviour • you are a vague sense of alienation masked by a friendly, conversational atmosphere • you are a dentist, you take delight in causing great pain • you are the kind of apathy that can only be generated by the "spoken-" vs. "written-" word debate • you are a self-consuming artifact • you are an unimportant stanza in an unimportant Bob Southey epic • you are the neurochemical dopamine bridging the gap between the tail of one synapse and the head of another during a bout of particularly raunchy sex with a not-quite-loved one • you are an instance of pre-emptory teleology • you are living in a post-theory, post-language writing, post-sound-poetry, post-literate age, so let's stop writing crap that pretends that you aren't • you are a reference to the small font size of this poem • you are going to sell out the first chance you get • you are yawning -stop it! • you are a persnickety line removed at the friendly request of an editor who thinks its potential offensiveness is enhanced by the mere fact of its referential obscurity • you are all out to get me, damn you! • you are mixing memory with desire • you are sitting with a soggy ass at some reading in High Park really wishing you were somewhere else • you are a portable Greek reader that is going to party like it's 1999 • you are going on with your doggy life • you are the interplay between the quotidian and the extraordinary • you are a ravenous carnivore who lusts after the feeling of animal blood tracing the crevasses of your chin, or if you aren't, you know one • you are a captain's log, supplemental • you are a metonymic slide • you are a pipefitter with a penchant for Descartian ontology • you are everyday people • you are believing this crap they're feeding you • you are convinced you looked better before the makeover • you are a bird, no, wait, you are a plane, no, hell! you're Superman! • you are an uninterrupted series of dots that hasn't come to terms with being a line yet • you are an ill-used neural cluster removed to get at a deep-seated brain tumour • you are fading away when you would rather be burning out • you are a linguistic trap set to catch some good eatin' possum • you are eleven benevolent elephants • you are damp semen currently stringing its way to the centrefold of a porn mag • you are a registered trademark of the Coca-Cola corporation • you are the supreme arbiter and lawgiver of music • you are woman, hear you roar • you are never going to amount to a hill of beans in the world • you are bad advice foisted on some lovesick puppy • you are an axiom proved false • you are the cruellest month • you are an error in grammar identified by the latest in word-processing technology • you are flown to your destination on Delta Air Lines • you are the book in the spirit machine • you are a dadaist who needs to love and be loved • you were pre-conceived by both Boethius and William the Conqueror yet still have no clue as to what surrealism is really on about • you are hoping that you will never have to hear that fucker read his damn "you are" poem again but are resigned to that fact that you probably will • you are in more closets than you wish to admit • you are someone with the debilitating habit of cutting against the grain • you are going, going, gone • you are a likely consumer of rubber nipples • you are a long-lost jazz score that no one would have played anyway • you are a last will and testament • you are an unceremonious exit
CHAPTER 2layer two
(a deftly turned phrase)
you are a regular man-eater, do you know that? • you are a devoted matricidal maniac who has decided it is impossible to write about your mother – how she brought you up and how she died – without sentimentality • you are an educator or school organization such as a PTA • you are a bard then, not a warrior? • you are a brute • you are a party leader • you are a prophet – our fathers worshipped in this mountain • you are a mere computer • you are a mere computer • you are a bit battered at the moment • you are a true intellectual, I will have to give you a more comprehensive answer than most • you are a lover of gold jewellery • you are a vegetarian so I suggest going to the Eden Restaurant • you are an American coming to Greece for an extended period of time • you are a tourist with a fairly old tube map, or you last came to London over five years ago and you may be wondering what happened to Aldwych tube station • you are a fan of Dark Funeral, Marduk and Setherial, but don't like the Peter Tagtgren studio sound • you are a rap artiste, emcee, like the late Richard Dawson, not to be confused with the periodic table of elements • you are a minor and/or offended by such things, go watch Public Television RIGHT NOW • you are a metaphor for God • you are a teacher who has begun to suspect that a child is being bullied at school • you are a Berkeleian idealist or a realist • you are a genuine talent, Mister • you are a lost woman who will betray everything for what little power you think you desire • you are a man, you have no guest right here • you are a curious one • "You are a reincarnated soul of many past lives," Vivian was relaying with astonishment •you are a junior or senior in high school and this movie was made for you so run and check it out • you are a true romantic, you believe in the power of love and you are willing to take a leap of faith so this movie is for you • you are an insomniac and you like cool, dark places so go see this movie • you are a young person who has not seen many movies and you might (emphasis on might) enjoy yourself • you are a regular moviegoer so you have seen all this before • you are a Star Trek fan so I would not discourage you from going to see this movie (not that I would have success) and I guess you will enjoy it • you are a Matthew Perry fan (it's OK; you don't have to be ashamed, sir) – save your money because he basically plays the same character as in Friends (which you can watch for free on TV) • you are a liberal Christian who has drifted away from many biblical teachings so your inclination to join social activist groups is understandable • you are encouraged to give SchoolNotes • you are a disgrace to every scientist, every inventor, every person who has ever tried to improve the status of mankind by demonstrating that which they allege • you are an artist, are you not, Mr. Dedalus? said the dean, glancing up and blinking his pale eyes • you are a reactionary then? • you are an Irishman but your pride is too powerful • you are a distressing pair, you and Cranly • you are a child of God • you are a foreigner, I'll swear, because you have such a fine contempt for us • you are a unique being, spiritual as well as physical and in spite of the terrible enigma of unexplainable evil – part of an essentially harmonious universe • you are a monster • you are a genius • you are a friend, I cannot simply release you without hard proof of your innocence, not in dangerous times like this • you are a great Orientalist • you are an Esperantist • you are a restless sleeper • you are a guest here; and we – I – will respect your reticence about our customs • you are a Yorkshire girl too? • you are a skilful pilot, Robert • you will weather the storm • you are a Jacobin • you are a peculiar personage: quiet as you look, there is both a force and a depth somewhere within, not easily reached or appreciated •you are a Whig or a Tory: pray which party has the honour of your alliance? •YOU ARE A FLUKE OF THE UNIVERSE • YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE; AND WHETHER YOU CAN HEAR IT OR NOT, THE UNIVERSE IS LAUGHING BEHIND YOUR BACK – you are a teacher, are you not, as well as a pupil? • you are a scoundrel • you are a sort of Swiss sibyl, with high Tory and high Church principles! • you are a more unpractical man than I am an unpractical woman, for you don't acknowledge what really exists • you are a fool and that I am a worse fool yet
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Apostrophe by Bill Kennedy, Darren Wershler-Henry. Copyright © 2006 Bill Kennedy and Darren Wershler-Henry. Excerpted by permission of ECW PRESS.
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