Let’s face it–we all do geeky things, from checking e-mail obsessively to playing video games to tripping over our own feet. But here’s your chance to find out just how much of a geek you really are. With 1,000 questions for every area of your life–from childhood to lifestyle to entertainment to sex (you met your wife in a Web chat room–3 points), Are You a Geek? helps measure your precise geek quotient. From challenging intelligence quizzes to testing your dating compatibility with “Geekline,” Are You a Geek? ...
Let’s face it–we all do geeky things, from checking e-mail obsessively to playing video games to tripping over our own feet. But here’s your chance to find out just how much of a geek you really are. With 1,000 questions for every area of your life–from childhood to lifestyle to entertainment to sex (you met your wife in a Web chat room–3 points), Are You a Geek? helps measure your precise geek quotient. From challenging intelligence quizzes to testing your dating compatibility with “Geekline,” Are You a Geek? lets you in on the secrets that separate the geeks from the grown-ups. Or the nerdmeisters from everyone else…
Tim Collins is an advertising copywriter who lives in London. One day, while visiting a trendy pub, he admitted to himself that he'd rather be at home watching the special features of a Doctor Who DVD. It was at this point that he decided to come out as a geek. He believes that everyone would be happier if they accepted their geeky sides.
...and she still makes your meals, wakes you up
in the morning and checks your
appearance before you leave the house.
You can't eat without watching TV at the same time.
You can't go to the bathroom without taking
something to read with you.
You've got out of bed in the middle of the night
because you couldn't resist checking your email.
While emptying your trash can, you've spotted litter
that dated back more than 30 days.
If something goes wrong with your computer,
you fix it right away, but if your washing machine
breaks, you leave it for a while.
The last time you changed your sheets was
over a month ago.
You have the following posters on your wall:
Data from Star Trek
1 point Buffy
1 point An Escher artwork
1 point A map of the world
1 point A magic eyepicture 1 point
You've set aside an afternoon specifically
to rearrange your CD collection.
You've set aside an evening specifically
to watch the special features of a DVD.
You had a pizza delivered last night.
...and ate the cold remains of it for lunch today.
You've completed a takeout loyalty card
in the last couple of weeks.
You often drink so much coffee or cola
that you can't sleep at night.
When you can't sleep, you find yourself jotting
down ideas for brilliant new inventions that
make no sense in the morning.
You spend more on eBay than at your
Look at the "call list" menu on your mobile and write down the last ten numbers you called.
Award yourself one point for every food
delivery number you called.
Your personal smell can best be described as:
1 point Medicated soap
2 points Antiseptic cream
3 points Mildew 4 points A mixture of stale washing, secondhand books
You've actually done the following slapstick jokes in real life: Walking into a lamppost because you were
distracted by something
1 point Slipping on a banana peel
2 points Looking at your watch while holding a drink,
and spilling it down yourself 3 points Turning around suddenly while carrying a
ladder, and hitting someone with it 4 points
Falling down an open manhole
Award yourself two points for every sex line
Award yourself five bonus points
if you haven't called ten numbers yet.
You've drunk a soft drink straight from a 1.5 liter
bottle to avoid washing a glass.
On the weekend, you always log in to your
email before brushing your teeth.
You believe spraying yourself with deodorant is
as good as showering.
You've had an argument with a roommate about
whose turn it was to wash the dishes.
You've had an argument with a roommate about
whose turn it was to phone for pizza.
You have a child.
...but you spend more on toys and computer
games than they do.
...and you've forced them to watch Spirited Away instead of the latest
You can drive.
...but you call your car "The Enterprise."
...and you say "Engage" when turning the
ignition key. ...and you've given someone a detailed
description of the engine.
You've used a computer today.
...and it's the weekend.
If your mouse breaks, you feel like you've
had a limb amputated.
When your computer asks "Are you sure
you want to shut down?" you actually think
about it, and feel a bit guilty.
You've clicked on the option that tells you
how long you've been playing a certain computer
game for, and it was more than a week.
Before eating a package of M&Ms, you
pour them out onto the table in front of you
and arrange them according to color.
You actually quite enjoy the sensation of
being addicted to a game and unable to put down
You often think of ways to complete day-to-day
tasks slightly quicker, like adding milk to coffee
while you're waiting for the water to boil, or
flushing the toilet while you're still urinating.
You've considered moving to a larger property
for the sake of a collection.
You feel strange if you go for longer than an
hour without checking news headlines online,
on your phone or on TV.
When doing your monthly budget, you put aside
less than $10 for clothes and toiletries, and over
$200 for entertainment and technology.
You actually do a monthly budget.
You've arranged your CDs in the following order:
1 point Chronological (the order they were made)
2 points Autobiographical (the order you bought them in)
3 points In order of the color of their spines,
4 points to create a spectrum effect
In order of record label
The bag you carry with you all the time is...
...an unbranded rucksack worn by both straps
1 point ...the same gym bag you've had since school
3 points and have never washed
...a plastic bag from a comic shop on which the
5 points handles are about to break
You've bought a Happy Meal or box of cereal
because it had a promotional gift licensed
from a sci-fi blockbuster.
You've bought something purely for its ironic value.
...which cost more than $60.
You've listed your religion as "Jedi"
when filling in a form.
You've eaten some Kendal Mint Cake.
You've changed an eating plan after being
unable to open a screw-topped jar.
You've decided to stay in after being unable
to find one of your shoes.
You celebrate Halloween more than your
You've tripped over the following things:
A high curb
1 point A loose paving stone
3 points Your own feet
You've taken an elevator to travel one floor, which
took longer than walking would have done.
You're the only person in your office who hasn't
gotten their kids to record their answering-machine
That's because you rerecord your answering-
machine message every day, giving a detailed
description of your schedule for that day.
You’ve been to a midnight opening of a shop
When a book, DVD or game was released.
You've set up your computer so that you can
watch TV at the same time as playing games.
There are more TVs than rooms in your house.
...and you keep all of them on all the time.
When watching TV, you close the curtains, turn
the lights off and sit about three inches away
from the screen.
You feel powerless when someone else in the
room is holding the remote control.
In winter, you often get that horrible feeling
when it gets dark outside and you realize
you haven't left the house yet.
In summer, you often get that horrible feeling
when it gets dark outside and you realize you
haven't left the house yet.
You're so used to having the curtains closed
in summer that it takes you a while to get used
to the bright sunshine when you finally leave the house.
You own a thermos bottle.
You own a clock that displays
all the world time zones.
For you, getting ready to leave the house in the morning means...
...showering, shaving, ironing your shirt and
trousers, brushing your teeth, combing your
hair, applying deodorant, dressing, leaving
the house. 1 point
...washing your armpits over the sink, brushing
your teeth, putting on clean clothes, leaving
...searching for the cleanest pair of pants
on your floor,putting on the same clothes
as the previous day ,leaving the house. 3 points
...getting out of bed, leaving the house in
the clothes you slept in. 5 points
Your watch has the following features:
Calculator 1 point
Compass 1 point
Multiple time zones 1 point
Waterproof to 200 yards 1 point
You bought it so you knew when you could start
playing against your trans-Atlantic cyber
You follow instructions even if they're clearly
just there as a legal mandatory, like checking with
your doctor before using your exercise bike.
You've had a nightmare about your Nintendo DS,
iPod and portable DVD player all running out of
batteries at the same time on a long journey.
You know the exact amount of sleep you need
to get by and you complain about being tired
for the entire following day if you get slightly less.
Every single plug in your house has a
powerstrip attached to it.
Your dog is called "Chewie."
You have a filing cabinet in your house.
The only time you ever shower is when
you're itching so much it gets in the way
of your game playing.
You have more than five allergies.
...and one of them is for soap.
You've scanned or photocopied a part of yourself.
The technology inside your house
is worth more than the house itself.
You registered your name as a dot com domain
back in 1994, so now the lawyer in Philadelphia
with the same name as you has to use dot net for
his site, even though he attracts five thousand
times more traffic than you.
You often get nosebleeds for no apparent reason.
You always keep your books in perfect order,
but you don't mind leaving all your clothes
in a pile in front of your closet.
You've looked at your watch and realized
that your role-playing games session has
passed the 12-hour mark.
You've looked at your watch and realized
that your role-playing games session has
passed the 24-hour mark.
You've spent more than an hour thinking
about the meaning of existence.
You weren't lying awake at night with insomnia
at the time.
You still try to avoid stepping on the
cracks between paving stones.
You've had a dream that you believed to be a
message sent to you by a powerful sage,
instructing you to go on a quest.
You have more food delivery menus pinned
to your fridge than items of food inside it.
You measure time in how many episodes of Buffy you could have watched.
You have over ten different types of
power adaptors in your house
(add a point for each additional type).
You've taken a day off work on the day a
book by your favorite author was released.
You've taken a day off work for an
You've bought your own pencil sharpener,
stapler, calculator or hole punch, just so you
could have the best one in the office.
You've devised a contingency plan for the following eventualities:
A virus turning most of the population into
flesh-eating zombies 1 point
A virus killing most of the population, leaving
the survivorsto rebuild society 1 point
Hostile alien attack 1 point
Plants or animals turning hostile and trying
to wipe out the human race 1 point
Nuclear war 1 point
You've stuck action figures to your computer
You've taken responsibility for the alarm system
at every office you've ever worked in, as
you're always the first to get in and the last to leave.
You've been mentioned briefly in a trade magazine,
and sent a photocopy of the article
to everyone you know.
You work in an IT department.
...and you've thought to yourself, "I can't
believe they're paying me to do this,"
while installing a motherboard.
...and you've asked someone "How long is a
long it would take you to fix their computer.
...and you've asked someone "Which part of
the sentence 'I'm too busy to do it at the
moment' don't you understand?"
You work in a comic shop.
You don't work in a comic shop, but you spend
all your time hanging around in one anyway.
When there's a signing on at your local
comic shop, you always turn up early
so you can make new friends in the line.
IF YOU'RE ANGRY WITH SOMEONE AT WORK,
YOU SEND THEM AN EMAIL IN UPPER CASE.
You've eaten cereal out of a measuring cup
because you couldn't be bothered to wash a bowl.
Your mobile ring tone is the Doctor Who theme,
"The Imperial March," or a recording of yourself
shouting "Ring Ring! Pick up your phone!"
Your password is "Lothlorien" or "Rivendell."
Your PIN is 1138.
If you'rereally angry with someone at work,
you change their screen saver to some porn.
If you're really angry with someone at work,
you sign up their email address for spam.
You've fantasized about being a rock star.
You've fantasized about having superpowers.
You've fantasized about solving a difficult equation.
To you, a "marathon" means watching all the
extended editions of The Lord of the Rings without
stopping, rather than running 26 miles
You've never answered "No" to the question
Total points for this section:
You've been called any of the following names:
Egghead 1 point
Braniac 1 point
Whiz Kid 1 point
Bookworm 1 point Hacker 1 point Poindexter 1 point
Dork 1 point
Dweeb 1 point
Professor 1 point
Square 1 point
Dorkwad 1 point
Four Eyes 1 point
Techie 1 point
Loser 1 point
Dungeon Master 1 point
Brains 1 point
Fanboy 1 point
Technocrat 1 point
AV Guy 1 point