Are You Going to Kiss Me Now? [NOOK Book]

Overview

Being marooned on an island somewhere off the coast of Madagascar with five celebrities sounds romantic and glamorous, right?

Wrong.

You couldn't find people with fewer survival skills if you tried. Seriously. Cisco may have centerfold abs, but he can't even spell SOS. At least super-sexy Jonah seems to have a clue (too bad about the purity...

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Are You Going to Kiss Me Now?

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Overview

Being marooned on an island somewhere off the coast of Madagascar with five celebrities sounds romantic and glamorous, right?

Wrong.

You couldn't find people with fewer survival skills if you tried. Seriously. Cisco may have centerfold abs, but he can't even spell SOS. At least super-sexy Jonah seems to have a clue (too bad about the purity ring). If I'm stuck here much longer, these self-involved head cases might drive me crazy-assuming they don't insult each other to death first. It's like a group therapy edition of Survivor.

At this point, I'm pretty convinced that all celebrities should be caged in Hollywood and confined to the pages of US magazine. And, btw, if you're there, God, it's me, Francesca, and I really want to go home.

Help!

Sloane Tanen is the creator of the bestselling book Bitter with Baggage Seeks Same as well as four other books for adults and children. She received a BA from Sarah Lawrence College and holds graduate degrees in literary theory and art history. She lives with her husband and son in California. Visit sloanetanen.com

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Best known for snarky, gifty books built around dioramas of miniature fuzzy chicks, Tanen, in her first novel, pens an overwrought story about fame and self-esteem. Tabloid-obsessed high school junior Francesca has no idea what awaits when she wins a Seventeen magazine essay contest, which promises a tour of Africa with celebrities to raise education awareness. When the plane lands in the ocean, she is stranded on an island off Madagascar with a handful of self-absorbed, prescription drug–addicted, and otherwise helpless celebs, including fragile actress Eve, Perez Hiltonesque blogger Chaz, and self-righteous Christian musician/heartthrob Jonah. Francesca quickly becomes the opposite of star-struck, as the group spends five long days making feeble attempts at survival and tearing each other's egos to shreds. Francesca's caustic brand of humor will be familiar to Tanen's readers ("Cisco is man-spooning Joe. I am so uncomfortable"), but where her previous books were wicked guilty pleasures, this story suffers from a slow pace, overwritten passages, and so much schadenfreude that the group's period of isolation will likely feel even longer to readers than it does to the characters. Ages 12–up. (May)
Booklist
Fran won an essay contest, and it landed her in hell: assigned as a reporter to a celebrity charity mission. But when their plane crashes, Fran is stranded on an island with the crazy celebrities, including a teen heartthrob, diva party-girl, and aging actor hoping for a comeback. The celebrities battle their demons while Fran narrates the disaster in her uniquely witty way... Reality TV—obsessed teens, though, will thoroughly enjoy this. - Booklist
Campus Circle
Fulfilling a fantasy you may not even have known you had Are You Going To Kiss Me Now? (available May 1) maroons a normal American teenager with five celebrities off the coast of Madagascar. Sloane Tanen keeps it breezy and fun while having her way with the cult of fame. - Campus Circle
Chicklit Club
With tons of hilarious celeb mockery and characters that seem like they were ripped off the pages of US Weekly, this is a phenomenal read that will make you think twice about picking up a tabloid and admiring (or worshipping) those who inhabit its glossy pages. If you read only one book this year, make sure it's this one. - Chicklit Club
School Library Journal
Gr 7–10—Francesca thinks of herself as anything but gorgeous, with her red curls and freckles, but she knows that she can write. She wins a Seventeen magazine essay contest for a trip to Africa with several celebrities to perform charity work. This is a dream come true because she is wholly absorbed in the lives of pop-culture icons, memorizing details about them from the magazines she buys every week. Also, with her parents' recent divorce, her father having a baby with his girlfriend, and her mother and sister acting strangely, Francesca could really use an escape. She is awestruck by the faces she sees on the plane and excited about the new adventure. Then the plane crashes, leaving her marooned on an island with a bunch of celebrity strangers. Through the days-long ordeal, Francesca learns that her idols have problems and insecurities of their own. She keeps an account of all the events on the island (through text messages "sent" to her best friend on her nonworking cell phone), and after their rescue, Seventeen hires her as its youngest staff writer ever. This story will appeal to girls who dream of meeting and falling in love with their favorite celebrities, but the novel's overabundance of pop-culture references will quickly date it. The plot is decent (albeit extremely far-fetched), in that Francesca learns to stop coveting famous people's lives and starts having self-confidence. Standard chick-lit that will appeal where titles like this are popular.—Lauren Newman, Northern Burlington County Regional Middle School, East Columbus, NJ
Kirkus Reviews

This clever comedy strands a starstruck girl on a deserted island with major celebrities.

Francesca, an aspiring writer who devours tabloid journalism by the ream, enters an essay contest and wins a trip to Africa to promote literacy. She quickly learns that, far from being a dream come true, her experience won't be entirely pleasant. The party comprises two rival young actresses, both already fading from fame; the hottest, yet not-so-very-bright teen heartthrob of the day; a fatherly, also-fading actor who pilots the plane; the Christian rocker illegitimate son of the fatherly actor-pilot; a TMZ-like gay blogger; and Francesca, with her exploding red hair and freckles. The protagonist's six egomaniacal companions prove mostly useless, starting with the fatherly actor who crashes their plane, neglects to send a distress message and lets their signal fire go out. With the only actual adult sunk in depression, the rest act out their jealousies on each other. Francesca copes by writing and stockpiling text messages to her best friend. The scenario makes for some marvelous dry humor, enhanced by Tanen's ability to turn an original phrase: "OMG she was the size of a lima bean." Yes, the characters learn some important and dramatic lessons and maturity happens, but the thrust of this book is comedy, and it scores.

A witty winner aimed straight at reality-TV fans. (Comedy adventure. 12 & up)

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402254628
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 5/1/2011
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 368
  • Sales rank: 372,223
  • File size: 789 KB

Meet the Author

Sloane Tanen's art work has been exhibited in a number of shows, numerous publications, and can be found in private and corporate collections around the country. She's also a successful author of adult and children's books. She lives with her husband in California.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 9 )
Rating Distribution

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Sort by: Showing all of 9 Customer Reviews
  • Posted June 30, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    A fun, hilarious read!

    Are You Going To Kiss Me Now? is an enjoyable, lighthearted read. Sixteen year old Francesca Manning wins an essay contest for Seventeen magazine (never mind the non-fiction piece she wrote is fraudulent.) Her prize is the opportunity of a lifetime--traveling to Africa on a humanitarian mission with five celebrities. Sounds exciting, eh? Not so fast. These celebrities are over-the-top, self-absorbed, pampered, complaining beasts. Francesca finds out soon enough, the 'prize' is more like a punishment when a mishap leaves them marooned on an island - in the middle of 'who-knows-where'. The display of non-existent survival skills, and Francesca's interactions with the fumbling, ego-inflated celebrities are downright hilarious. Insecurities, mistakes, sensitivities, and secrets are revealed. I recommend this book to anyone needing a light read and several laughs. Although the recommendation on the back of the book is for 12+, be forewarned there are curse words and sexual situations and terms throughout. I give this story five stars. It gave me lots of smiles and giggles-just what I needed.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 5, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Great Imaginations Review of Are You Going to Kiss Me Now

    Reading this was just what I needed after all the serious books I have been reading lately. It was like the perfect palate cleanser. Not too serious and seriously funny! In any other situation this novel would be seen as utterly ridiculous because it was so over-the-top and overdone, but I didn't even think that once. What a madcap comedy!

    I hated all the characters. Every last one, including the protagonist, but now after I think back on the book, I remember them fondly. I think my favorite was Milan. She was like a mash-up of Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. She was out-of-control but stupidly funny. While we are on that topic, I also enjoyed all the celebrity and pop-culture references. And this book is totally full of every celebrity and Hollywood stereotype there is. Are some of them true though? That's the magic question.

    A lengthy review is not necessary. Put it this way. If you enjoy reading about Hollywood, the crazy Los Angeles lifestyle, or if you like to see ridiculous things happen to celebrities, you should probably read this book. Even if you think Hollywood and the paparazzi are ridiculous and disgusting, you should still probably read it, because secretly, I think the author does too.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 28, 2013

    Enjoyed

    This book was pretty good when you just want light fare. Like dessert, my guilty pleasure!

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  • Posted October 3, 2011

    this books is awesome and it sucks you into the world and makes you think that you are a charactor in the book!!!

    this is a great book and you will really find yourself interested in the characters and there lives and who they really are aside from what they may seem to be on the outside i do not thin this book would be good for discussion because there are a lot of things in the book that a person might have a personal out look on while some one else might think is really funny but i think it would be a good book to read just for fun because i went to Barnes and noble not expecting to buy a book but i started reading a couple of pages and really got interested in it i feel that the book is very on edge and you cannot stop reading because you want to find out what happens next this book is about something that could really happen(i doubt it but it could!)this young lady is going through a lot of milestones in just about a week but it is hilarious and a great book!

    i give it a thumbs up!!!!

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  • Posted August 20, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    If you like Spoiled, Zoolander or Audrey Wait, you'll like this one!

    As one of the characters remarks, this is sort of a mashup of Lord of the Flies and the National Enquirer (more like TMZ, I'd say, but whatev). It took a ittle while for me to warm up to this one, mostly because the MC Francesca is kind of a pain. Also, boy, she has a lot of nicknames, not really confusing, just kind of wt* (it's cute that she notices it, too). But, I digress. Because irrespective of what name she's going by (Bam?), she pretty much stays a pain through the whole book, although through some clever inexplicable author magic, over the course of events she becomes an extremely endearing PITB that you can't help but feel for and fall in love with. Part of her charm is that she tells a great story, and the other characters come to life through her eyes as the story progresses. The "celebs" are a wacky bunch, each with their own issues and baggage, but they also have real personalities and hidden strengths and vulnerabilities, which become apparent as time on their desert island without rescue peels back the veneer of their carefully constructed personas. Part of the fun is identifying the various characters with their real life counterparts (gossip blogger Dicole Richie is the most obvious example, c'mon you are laughing now, that is funny, admit it!) Anyway, I did come to care about Francesca, who really came to life as the story moved along (and it is really a pretty good page turner, btw, I had to read part of it under my desk after I got to work yesterday!), and although this is not deeply wrenching emotional territory, I did find the denouement moving and tender, something I really wasn't planning on (good thing I was still under my desk, potentially embarassing moment alert). So, this is really a good read, I liked it a lot. I think one of the things I admire most about this is that is takes an idea that is almost a parlor game (one that Francesca and her friend play in the beginning, btw), and makes it fresh, funny, real feeling and a great break from reality. Re-reading that sentence makes me wonder if I've mentioned enough how funny this book is, it's not just a study in Franny's emotional growth. It's clever, witty and smart. In fact it's so good that I put it on my immediate re-reads shelf, and I'm doing that now. So, to sum up, this is a lovely confection, albeit with some substance to it, but still a spun sugar castle that can't bear the weight of too many heavy feet tromping through it. So put on your slippers and enter, don't worry, there's enough acerbic, ironic j'ne sais quois to avoid any diabetes issues, and you will definitely enjoy the trip!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 30, 2011

    AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I absolutly love this book! It was so funny!I liked how it seemed like most of them had no idea what to do, but then you found out special things they could do. I loved Fran's voice and the ending of the story. And hope another one comes out!

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  • Posted May 9, 2011

    Highly recommend, Absolutely readable.

    Couldn't put it down. Highly recommend. A really fun, smart read.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 25, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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