As a Lady Would Say: Responses to Life's Important (and Sometimes Awkward) Situations

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As a Lady Would Say

Rutledge Hill Press

Chapter One

A lady knows how to begin a conversation.

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Although a lady would never provoke an unpleasant confrontation, she knows how to deal with one.

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A lady always thinks before she speaks.

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Although a lady does not fret over the past, she also thinks after she speaks, assessing the correctness of her behavior.

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If a lady realizes, in retrospect, that she is guilty of an unintentionally rude or thoughtless remark, she attempts to set the matter straight, at her earliest opportunity.

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If a lady is subjected to a rude remark or rude behavior, she does not offer rudeness in return.

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A lady allows others to finish their sentences. Even in her most brilliant moments, she does not interrupt others, no matter how dull their opinions might be-or how many times she may have heard their stories before.

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A lady does not talk with her mouth full-even over the phone.

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A lady is slow to judge the actions of others, in either their public or their private affairs.

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Although a lady knows how to assert herself, she also knows when to keep her opinions to herself.

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A lady does not take part in major arguments over minor issues.

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When a lady learns that two friends are to be married, she tells the groom-to-be, "Congratulations," and offers her "Best wishes" to the soon-to-be bride.

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A lady makes a conscious effort to use correct grammar, but she resists all temptation to sound stuffy and overly grand.

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Faced with the option of using an unusual word or a word likely to be more familiar, she chooses the word that her hearers are more likely to understand.

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Unless she is teaching an English class, a lady does not correct another person's grammar.

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A lady does not use foreign phrases, unless she is absolutely sure of their meaning-and their pronunciation.

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A lady does not pretend to speak languages that she has not made her own.

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A lady is careful of what she says in the presence of people speaking foreign languages. They may understand what she is saying even though she might not understand them.

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Even when speaking her own language, a lady does not use words that she can define only by looking them up in a dictionary.

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Even in the most heated discussion, a lady avoids raising her voice. She does not shout others down.

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A lady never asks another woman when she is at a table with others.

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Once a lady discovers that she must decline an invitation that she has already accepted, she promptly alerts her host or hostess. She gives a frank explanation of the reasons for her change of plan and offers a sincere apology.

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When it comes to accepting social invitations, a lady never waits for something better to come along.

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A lady does not engage in arguments, of any sort, at the dinner table.

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When a lady is confronted by arguments that she considers foolish, she does not attempt to refute them with reason. Instead, she keeps silent, knowing that logic is useless in the war against irrationality.

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A lady never claims to have seen a movie she has not seen or to have read a book about which she has only read reviews. She knows how to say, "I haven't read (or seen) that yet, but from what I hear, it sounds very interesting. What do you think?"

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In civil conversation, and when attempting to meet new friends, a lady asks, "What do you think?" as often as possible.

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A lady gives direct answers, especially to controversial questions. She knows, however, that being direct is not the same thing as being rude.

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A lady does not brag, especially about her own accomplishments or the accomplishments of her children.

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A lady knows that the best kind of small talk consists of asking questions, not volunteering information about herself.

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A lady never says, "I told you so."

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A lady knows how to make an apology-and how to accept one.

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A lady knows how to extend a compliment-and how to receive one.

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A lady avoids backhanded compliments at all costs.

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A lady knows how to make an introduction.

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When it comes time for a handshake, a lady extends her hand, and is ready to do so.

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For reasons of hygiene and simple good breeding, a lady makes an effort to keep her hands, especially her fingernails, clean at all times. She never knows when she will be introduced to a new acquaintance, and she never wants to feel reluctant to extend her hand in greeting.

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A lady always carries a clean handkerchief and is ready to offer it in times of great grief-or great joy.

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A lady always attempts to make sure her breath is fresh, especially if she expects to be in close conversation with others. If necessary, she carries- and uses-breath mints.

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A lady does not spread rumors. She is even careful about where she spreads sensitive facts.

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When she is invited to participate in some pleasant experience-whether it is a dinner party or a major-league baseball game-a lady does not dally before saying yes or no.

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A lady feels perfectly comfortable using the word no.

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A lady understands the meaning of the word no, and she expects others to understand its meaning, too.

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Whenever a lady requests any service or favor, she remembers to say, "Please." She is quick to say, "Thank you," whenever a service or favor has been offered to her.

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A lady knows that listening is a skill that improves when it is regularly practiced.

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When a lady feels that she has been subjected to an insult, she immediately knows the right response: She responds by saying nothing at all.

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A lady has definite beliefs, but she thinks before voicing her opinions. She recognizes that other people's beliefs are valid. She argues only over an issue that could save a life.

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In making after-work conversation, a lady is wise to leave her work at the office.

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A lady knows how to listen.

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A lady does not openly attempt to correct the behavior of her friends. Instead she teaches by example.

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A lady takes no part in petty arguments over important topics. Instead, she takes action to bring about change.

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A lady does not make promises she cannot keep. She does not make commitments she cannot fulfill.

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A lady knows how to end a conversation.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from As a Lady Would Say by Sheryl Shade Copyright © 2007 by Sheryl Shade. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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