Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On

Overview

It’s time to get past the idea that divorce equals failure. Sure, it may not be what you had in mind when you walked down the aisle, but if it’s the escape hatch into a better life, it should be filled with more promise. It can be celebrated.

Ask Me About My Divorce is a spicy, fun, riveting collection of essays by women from all walks of life. With the unifying thread "I got divorced, and the world came into view," the words within will make readers laugh, cry, nod their heads,...

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Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On

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Overview

It’s time to get past the idea that divorce equals failure. Sure, it may not be what you had in mind when you walked down the aisle, but if it’s the escape hatch into a better life, it should be filled with more promise. It can be celebrated.

Ask Me About My Divorce is a spicy, fun, riveting collection of essays by women from all walks of life. With the unifying thread "I got divorced, and the world came into view," the words within will make readers laugh, cry, nod their heads, and feel inspired to do what they need to for themselves. These aren't stories from women tiptoeing around a difficult subject — they're about the ways divorce can be, in fact, a new lease on life.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

In keeping with the almost defiant title, this collection of 29 essays is a mixture of ballsy and introspective, humorous and bleak-though never bleak for long. Though individual and quirky, these essays share a theme. As Julie Hammonds writes pithily in "The Love List": "What to do next with my life? Where to go? Who to become? Big questions, fear inducing." She decided to travel solo for six months. And while the economic effects of divorce are all too real, each woman has a chance to become stronger, more herself. As Marrit Ingman says with delightful economy in "Breakup Buddies," "Our fortunes declined. But at the same time, our struggles had a reason, at last. Bad odds were better than no chance at all." Editor Walsh (Moving to New York) steps up the honesty in revealing that she left her unhappy marriage after falling in love with her female therapist, ultimately finding her true love via Match.com. These stories of exploration and change, whether tentative or bold, will inspire readers who are questioning their own status. (June)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781580052764
  • Publisher: Avalon Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 5/5/2009
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 1,310,797
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 0.90 (d)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 30 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 28, 2009

    Commencement

    This is a wonderful book, full of good friends getting together to dish on what works, what doesn't and what makes them happy. Finally the idea that divorce can be a good thing, for everyone, is celebrated here by people who know. Certainly divorce can be tragic, and it's not the beginning for everyone, but it's time we moved past saying "I'm so sorry" because for some it's a true commencement,and this collection of essays is the reminder that there is often good on the other side of rotten. Spend an evening with these women, you will enjoy every last word.

    13 out of 21 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 31, 2009

    I asked and was answered by ASK ABOUT MY DIVORCE

    When one makes the disturbing and often painful decision to divorce someone you were once in love with.... all emotional hell breaks loose. I was happy to ready such a variety of "takes" on this choice... I could identify in whole or at least part of everyones' story.
    I laughed and cried... and in the end felt inspired and relieved of some of the heaviness knowing I was in very good company.
    Thanks to the authors and the editor. We need more women to be this honest and raw.

    12 out of 19 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 1, 2009

    This Will Make You Stronger

    What a great collection of stories! They're encouraging and just what one needs when in the throes of a divorce. Thanks for letting us other divorcees know that there is a better world out there! All we have to do now is survive, and you're helping us do this.

    12 out of 19 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 31, 2009

    Just what this divorcee needed

    I found out about this book on Monday and ordered it next-day delivery, read it on Tuesday, and felt the need to promote it on Wednesday. The book is a collection of stories all written by women who have gone through divorce - and are now better for it.

    Some of the writing is frank and confessional: "I came hard watching girl-on-girl sex." Some is lyrical: "Grief begins to rise like a tide then, seeking that deep groove to flow into." Painful humor abounds: "I put the lawyer through law school, he put me in the loony bin. We called it even and got divorced."

    I see myself in every story in the book, even the one written by an immigrant German ex-polygamist who left not only her husband, but her sister wife. Our lives couldn't be more disparate, but we have something in common - recovering from emotionally abusive relationships and becoming strong women.

    When Sy, the 58-year-old I was dating last, told me that I was just like every woman who goes through a divorce, and he could basically tell me what stages to expect next, I said incredulously, "Thanks for letting me know I'm typical." At the time, it didn't sit well with me. I was just starting to find myself, my voice, and my identity. I didn't want to be like anybody else. But after reading the stories in this book, I realize that, yes, I am typical. Not necessarily a bad thing. Every woman who experiences divorce has her own spin to put on it. Stories may overlap, but no two are identical. Each voice is unique and valuable. Each variation adds to the whole complex composition of "divorce."

    The editor, Candace Walsh (great first name! and she spells it correctly!), along with a few of the authors, will be doing readings at Skylight Books on May 21. My growing posse of LA Divorcees and I will be in attendance, book in hand. Eager to meet the women who are exposing the fact that divorce is neither a 4-letter word nor the end of the world. Typically, it's the beginning.

    12 out of 19 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 28, 2009

    So glad I found this book

    I'm recently divorced and heard about this book. I ordered it and read it in two days. I LOVED it. The stories are all very different but there are underlying similarities that I could identify with. And the women came across as extremely likable - so that I'd love to chat with each and every one of them about divorce.

    11 out of 18 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 26, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Stories of Sorrow turned to Jubilation

    Ask Me About My Divorce is a gathering of voices, a cross section of women from every walk of life who have finally found just that, their voices.
    Each essay has its element of gut wrenching sorrow, moments that make me a woman who has lost and loved, cry ... yet, the sorrow is just a piece of the whole - these stories are monumental moments of jubilation - sorrow becomes freedom becomes joy.

    I am neither married, nor divorced, but I celebrate the individuality of these voices that echo like a battle cry, "I will no longer be silent, I will no longer be fearful, I will awaken and I will be the woman I was meant to be."
    No one enters marriage thinking of it crumbling just like that unpreserved bridal bouquet - brittle flowers turned to powder at the touch. But. Should it happen, there should be no shame, no stigmas - Ask Me About My Divorce opens up the dialog for each of us to share and talk about our relationships.

    Like a Matryoshka (Russian Nested doll), these intricate tales stack together into a beautifully edited overarching thread of divorce. Simply, essays about finding ones self and an entirely new take on life - what could be more powerful and inspirational than that?

    11 out of 23 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 24, 2009

    Honest, inspiring, and funny

    I bought this book in the hope that I might gain some perspective on my own post-divorce life, and I must say that the book delivered more than I could have imagined. Marion Winik's back-cover blurb says it all--I too was cold and miserable, but the warm and wise women's voices in this book pulled me up enveloped me with their stories about how their lives changed for the better after their divorces.

    Nothing is sugar-coated here, but there is a palpable sense of recovery and hope in the face of personally devastating circumstances that I didn't have before reading these essays. There is a welcome diversity of voices here, each having gone through sometimes quiet, sometimes explosive, personal growth. I took something of value away from each essay. I disagree with the anonymous reviewer who broadly criticized the writing as pedestrian; actually the writing is smart precisely because it wisely eschews sounding like "Art" in favor of lucidity, brave honesty, and literary circumspection. Many of the essays are hilarious, too. I'd recommend this book to anyone going through a divorce or break up.

    11 out of 18 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 1, 2009

    Ms Walsh is brilliant

    I divorced quite a few years back and it's an experience that was fraught with challenges, a death; and yet...a curious sort of rebirth though painful of self and of life. What Ms. Walsh does here is nothing short of miraculous, interwoven in these stories is a common theme--survival. Survival and triumph. At times humorous and touching, this work is one not to be missed. You can tell a heart and soul has gone into this work. Well done.

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 1, 2009

    I loved this book!

    I found this book to be really inspiring. It is chock full of stories from women who faced a very difficult loss with panache, wit, and grace. I found myself wanting to emulate the many powerful women whose writing is featured in these pages. And, indeed, I felt stronger after reading these well-written stories.

    8 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 28, 2009

    A Very Timely Book... Raw, Funny and Empowering

    I love this book....the stories are each unique,memorable, funny, sad, poignant and true; I imagine like each of the woman writing about her experience.

    It is also extremly hopeful. I have gone through 2 divorces and my experience is that while divorce can be a wretchingly painful time, it can also be a time of great expansion, creativity and opening to deeper dreams. There is a cultural paradigm that is currently shifting and this book represents this so clearly. Rather than divorce being the "end of our lives", it can instead be honored as the "beginning of our new lives' and can be explored as an experience of infinite spiritual possibility rather than as a failure of who we are as woman. This book is life affirming and I would reccomend it to any woman in the throws of divorce as well as those of us still in the process of discovering and creating a new life.

    It is good and healing and affirming to read these brave, funny, real stories about taking risks and moving on.It inspires me. I appreciate the wisdom "from the other side" of the experience. If they have turned what appeared to be lead into gold, then I too can be an alchemist...

    8 out of 21 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 1, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I give this book two thumbs up.

    This was a really wonderful book. I found it extremely cathartic. The flow was wonderful. It had an excellent rhythm, a smooth slow jam. Sometimes the beat kicks, hits the spot. Overall harmony throughout, my girls and I ate this one up. I was surprised. I thought Adele had lost her mind, she runs our book club at our center. Only one of us has ever been married but she is doing a series on books that are collaborative works. We just read "Go tell Michelle" that's another book I have to review, very good. "Ask me about my Divorce" is not just for people who have gone through a divorce. It is for people who have loved and lost and live to tell about it. The writing is exceptional, funny, smart and real enjoyable to read. My daughter just had her second child with the same young man and he's off again. I have already given her this book. I suggest this to book clubs for one reason in particular, the group talked and talked. These are issues that open you up.

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 1, 2009

    This book saved me

    I can't even begin to tell you how amazing this book is. I just went through the most heart wrenching, skull ripping, soul devouring divorce, honestly more pain then I could cope with. I did not want to cope anymore. I have been staying with my sister, who at this point is basically nursing me back to health. The other day when she got home she handed me this book. At first I thought she was trying to say "enough already" and I was upset, but not for very long. I opened this book and read the whole thing from start to finish. I laughed for the first time in a long time. I took a few crying breaks (but the good kind of crying) and by the end of the book I felt hope. Not a lot of people understand what this process is like, and if they do, at some point it becomes exhausting. What it comes down to, not everyone can afford therapy. I certainly can't. In fact I can't afford anything right now. This book gave me everything I need to feel like in the end, it's going to be okay. I feel better, I know that does not sound like a lot but it is.

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 2, 2009

    Captivating Journeys~~Incredible Read

    This incredibly gripping book is filled with a myriad of experiences from women of all walks of life. It is at times sad, at times humorous, equally captivating and filled with emotion. I think any woman--married, divorced, or merely seeking--can relate to these accounts and see a piece of herself amongst the brave ladies who have walked along the winding path of divorce, and came out on the other side, not completely unscathed, but all the better and stronger b/c of the journey and the lessons learned.
    The individual stories drew me in immediately...and I found myself alongside the writers, feeling and yearning and building strength.
    This book is about finding one's self, and while it centers on the experience of divorce as a means to self-discovery, it is a journey of rebirth in which we can all relate.
    I give it an exuberant thumb's up, and intend to buy more copies for my friends who I know will feel as empowered after reading it as I did.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 2, 2009

    Fianlly, a refreshing and inspiring expose' -on divorce

    I enjoyed journeying through the pages of this book as it shed insight and exposed lessons learned when faced with divorce. This book reminded me that good CAN come from hardship of one of the hardest human experiences we can go through- divorce.

    This is a book I will lend to my friends but exspect to have returned to my bookshelf- it was inspiring and informative enough that I have purchased copies for people in my life who are happily married as well as one who is divorced. This is a book for everyone's appreciation!

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 2, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Pageturner

    I could NOT put this book down and isn't that the true measure of a great book? I enjoyed reading these stories and though I haven't quite finished look forward to savoring the last few stories as I have the first five.
    Just what this divorcee needed, thank you!

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 1, 2009

    Women's voices

    I loved this book! I can see that perhaps there isn't the hugest cross section of voices but isn't there an underlying truth that spans race or class? I think we can hear this here. However perhaps next time, we could hear from different voices a cross cultural divorce experience. But this will do for now.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 1, 2009

    Even More Than I Hoped For

    I ordered this book to send to a young lady who is struggling to survive an unexpected divorce. Being in my mid sixties and divorced years ago, I wanted to be certain the book would offer her encouragement, hope, and some tools for moving on. Without exception, these authors proved there is a bright light at the end of the challenging tunnel called divorce, and I'm confident my friend will find comfort, strength and direction through the honest stories presented here. My sincere "Thank You" to the editor, each contributor, and the publisher for this book.


    The personal surprise for me, however, came while reading a chapter called "The Love List". Being a recently unemployed, and sometimes discouraged mature woman, I decided to create my own "Love List", complete with crayons! No matter our age or the challenges we are facing, the words of this writer ring true. Our future plans must ". . . begin in the fertile ground of love." I'm not suggesting that my list will lead me to employment, but it's nice to have a visible and colorful list to remind me of the many Blessings I have, and of the dreams yet to be fulfilled. I hope others who are struggling will also "Pull out the crayons".

    5 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 6, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Read this. READ this. R.E.A.D. this. There's a story for everyone in here.

    "This book is great. It has so many different women, so many different perspectives, so many different stories. There's something for everyone in here; and at least one person with whom to identify. Some of the stories are poignant, some hilarious, some both; all help you to see divorce in a different way. There's nothing dirty, no failure admission here.

    This book is for anyone who has decided to divorce and has been harangued by friends and family; for anyone who has decided to divorce and been plagued by self-doubt; for anyone who has been left and didn't know where to start picking up the pieces; for anyone who has stuck it out in a bad marriage and justified it by saying it's best; for every woman--feminist and non-feminist.

    Read this. All the way through. Don't pick and choose stories; read them all. You'll find yourself somewhere in these pages.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 11, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Timely, refreshing

    My friend K told me about this book as I'd been though the experience known as divorce. I'm getting out my crayons as I write this!
    Divorce although not as stigmatized as it used to be, is still a subject like a miscarriage, that most people don't know how to respond to. A blank look, or you will get over it.
    Yes we will "get over it" whatever that may mean, and this book is a lovely tribute (some pieces were a bit uneven but I'd say 90% on) and song to women who are doing just that. And reminder to me to remember.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 16, 2010

    Ask Me About My Divorce

    This is a great guide to fall back on. I am still reading this from time to time, because I am not there yet but feel better knowing I am not the only one with emotional issues to deal with and dealing with the guilt of which way to go in life that's best for me and not worrying about what others may think! That's always a struggle. Enjoy.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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