The Ask
  • The Ask
  • The Ask

The Ask

3.3 35
by Sam Lipsyte

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Milo Burke, a development officer at a third-tier university, has "not been developing": after a run-in with a well-connected undergrad, he finds himself among the burgeoning class of the newly unemployed. Grasping after odd jobs to support his wife and child, Milo is offered one last chance by his former employer: he must reel in a potential donor—a

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Milo Burke, a development officer at a third-tier university, has "not been developing": after a run-in with a well-connected undergrad, he finds himself among the burgeoning class of the newly unemployed. Grasping after odd jobs to support his wife and child, Milo is offered one last chance by his former employer: he must reel in a potential donor—a major "ask"—who, mysteriously, has requested Milo's involvement. But it turns out that the ask is Milo's sinister college classmate Purdy Stuart. And the "give" won't come cheap. Probing many themes— or, perhaps, anxieties—including work, war, sex, class, child rearing, romantic comedies, Benjamin Franklin, cooking shows on death row, and the eroticization of chicken wire, The Ask is a burst of genius by a young American master who has already demonstrated that the truly provocative and important fictions are often the funniest ones.

Editorial Reviews

Alex Lemon

Sam Lipsyte is a master of erudite, equal-opportunity loathing, a desolating humor populated by characters blighted by the world. Home Land -- his last novel -- was one of the funniest books of the last two decades. It was so raucously good, many will think that any follow-up is destined to fail. But The Ask's precarious position between total success and not living up to expectations is a result of Lipsyte's expanding vision -- from Home Land's small-scale intimacies to the end of the financial world as many have known it. The terrible massiveness of this vision has to be confused and strange and just as miserable as it is funny because the failure of Lipsyte's Western world is epic and unstoppable.

The Ask features Milo Burke, a development officer for the arts program at a "mediocre" New York university. Burke's caustic wit fuels hilariously profane and misogynist office banter with his jaded co-worker Horace, but his self-hatred (he wished to be a painter, his unfaithful wife is "all touched out," he's got a 3-year-old son who thinks he's a "pansy") and class resentment (just one element in his cornucopia of socio-political rage) make him horrendous at his job. While his colleagues bring in gifts of "endowed chairs, editing suites, sculpture gardens," Burke offends the Jewish ancestry of his last "ask" and fails to get a meager collection of plasma TVs.

Milo is a glutton for punishment, and the book opens with one of the only moments where he actually reacts to being mistreated. Fired for snapping at the entitled art-student-daughter of that potential TV donor, he has been left without work, health insurance for his family, and purpose.When his former boss contacts him unexpectedly and offers him his job back on the condition of a particular ask, Milo jumps at the offer even though he hates the job. The target of the ask, Purdy Stuart, was a rich kid who Milo partied with in college but whose family wealth split their post-graduation paths, a frenemy "who had powers of cajolement, a gentle quasi-Christ-y authority." Purdy purports to want to donate to the university on behalf of his wife, but he admits to Milo that his giving is really about covering up the fact of his illegitimate son. Milo reacts to the moral dilemma that Purdy's proposition thrusts upon him by surfing the web, ruminating on "how sick and marvelous an age this was" where anyone could be "a Newton, a Diderot."

But no matter how Milo tries to ignore his problems, he can't escape his life. The bottom can drop out of any of Lipsyte's moments: "All was peachy and near utopic until I rose for a beer. At that moment the knowledge just disappeared, tilted out of my earhole." And then Milo begins to whir, riffing away, deeper, more lost: "I'd have to start again, or else concede my memory palace was a panic room. It would be good to exile some items and sensations, some people, even, but how to cull? I could not spare one hamburger or handjob."

From here, The Ask documents Milo's powerlessness in a world where money is the acknowledged measure of love, status, family, compassion, and art, even as the book's seams stretch taut and almost break. Instead of slowing the narrative to face some of the cultural volatilities The Ask sets in motion, Lipsyte gives us too much of Milo's navel-gazing. And so what should be an astonishing climax (a scene in which Milo expresses sincere love and worry for his son) is only a flash of bright light in the darkness of a looming alley as the book races toward closure.

These missteps in pacing are nearly erased by Lipsyte's genius and dexterity. The Ask is alive with lexical cartwheels, laced with the jittery eroticism of pornographic fantasies: "I had already begun to picture my cock in high quiver, sliding up the lubed swell of her chest. We were in a library of lacquered wood. Viola tones rose from a carved alcove. Baby oil beaded on rare folios." Lipsyte's imagination is profane in the best and worst of ways; the few times his rocket-fueled prose fails to be funny it reads like overly scripted slapstick or bad standup. There's more pain and dread than in his previous novels, but Lipsyte once again delivers whipsmart dialogue and slightly cartoonish protagonists, men and women whose inflated oddities act like blinking neon signs. All of his characters are catastrophes.

But what is most remarkable about The Ask is how Lipsyte has grown and enlarged his target. In doing so, he has found another way to make us grin wildly at someone's refusal to succeed. In fact, he can be so comical that the laughter that Lipsyte elicits sometimes allows us to forget that he's one of our best documentarians of the crumbling myth of the American Dream.

--Alex Lemon

Alex Lemon is the author of Happy: A Memoir and three poetry collections, most recently, Fancy Beasts.

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Product Details

Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
8.70(w) x 5.82(h) x 1.02(d)

Read an Excerpt

The Ask

By Sam Lipsyte

Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Copyright © 2010 Sam Lipsyte
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-374-29891-3

Chapter One

America, said Horace, the office temp, was a run-down and demented pimp. Our republic's whoremaster days were through. Whither that frost-nerved, diamond-fanged hustler who'd stormed Normandy, dick-smacked the Soviets, turned out such firm emerging market flesh? Now our nation slumped in the corner of the pool hall, some gummy coot with a pint of Mad Dog and soggy yellow eyes, just another mark for the juvenile wolves.

"We're the bitches of the First World," said Horace, his own eyes braziers of delight.

We all loved Horace, his clownish pronouncements. He was a white kid from Armonk who had learned to speak and feel from a half-dozen VHS tapes in his father's garage. Besides, here at our desks with our turkey wraps, I did not disagree.

But I let him have it. It was my duty. We were in what they call a university setting. A bastion of, et cetera. Little did I know this was my last normal day at said bastion, that my old friend Purdy was about to butt back into my world, mangle it. I just figured this was what my worst teachers used to call a teachable moment.

"Horace," I said. "That's a pretty sexist way to frame a discussion of America's decline, don't you think? Not to mention racist."

"I didn't mention anybody's race," said Horace.

"You didn't have to."

"P.C. robot."

"Fascist dupe."

"Did you get avocado on yours?"

"Fattening," I said.

"Don't worry, baby," said Horace. "I like big women."

"What about hairy ones?" I said, parted my shirt to air my nipple fuzz. Horace let me be a cretin with him. You could call him my infantilism provider, though you'd sound like an idiot. Otherwise, I was ostensibly upstanding, a bald husband, a slab-bellied father.

"Gentlemen," said our supervisor, Vargina, coming out from her command nook. "Did you send off those emails about the Belgian art exchange?"

Horace swiveled back to his monitor with the mock panic of a sitcom serf. Vargina took scant notice of our talk, tolerated foul banter for purposes of morale. But the fact remained, we had forgotten the afternoon's assignment. The gods of task flow did not easily forgive.

Where we worked was in the development office of a mediocre university in New York City. It was an expensive and strangely obscure institution, named for its syphilitic Whig founder, but we often called it, with what we considered a certain panache, the Mediocre University at New York City. By we, I mean Horace and I. By often, I mean once.

Our group raised funds and materials for the university's arts programs. People paid vast sums so their spawn could take hard drugs in suitable company, draw from life on their laptops, do radical things with video cameras and caulk. Still, the sums didn't quite do the trick. Not in the cutthroat world of arts education. Our job was to grovel for more money. We could always use more video cameras, more caulk, or a dance studio, or a gala for more groveling. The asks liked galas, openings, recitals, shows. They liked dinner with a famous filmmaker for them to fawn over or else dismiss as frivolous.

An ask could be a person, or what we wanted from that person. If they gave it to us, that was a give. The asks knew little about the student work they funded. Who could blame them? Some of the art these brats produced wouldn't stand up to the dreck my three-year-old demanded we tack to the kitchen wall. But I was biased, and not just because I often loved my son. Thing was, I'd been just like these wretches once. Now they stared through me, as though I were merely some drone in their sight line, a pathetic object momentarily obstructing their fabulous horizon. They were right. That's exactly what I was.

A solitudinous roil, my bitterness. Horace, after all, was their age. He had no health insurance, just hope. Our rainmaker, Llewellyn, seemed born to this job, keen for any chance to tickle the rectal bristles of the rich with his Tidewater tongue. He was almost never in the office, instead sealing the deal on a Gulfstream IV to Bucharest, or lying topside on a Corfu yacht, slathered in bronzer.

Llewellyn delivered endowed chairs, editing suites, sculpture gardens. My record was not so impressive. My last big ask, for example, had failed to yield a few plasma TVs from the father of a recent film graduate.

Mr. Ramadathan had mortgaged his electronics store so his son could craft affecting screenplays about an emotionally distant, workaholic immigrant's quest for the American dream. But the father's giddiness had begun to wear off. The boy was unemployable. Now Mr. Ramadathan was maybe not so eager to relinquish his showroom models.

I'd made the hot, khaki-moistening hike past all the car dealerships and muffler shops on Northern Boulevard in Queens, stood in the sleek, dingy cool of the store. Mr. Ramadathan sat near the register in a wicker chair. The plasmas were not on display. Sold or hidden, I had no idea. Mr. Ramadathan stared at me, at the sweat patches on my crotch. He pointed toward some old video game consoles, a used floor fan, dregs of the dream.

"Please," he said, "take those. So that others may learn."

Unlike the time Llewellyn secured a Foley stage for the film department, there was no celebration on the Mediocre patio. No sour chardonnay got guzzled in my honor, nor did any lithe director of communications flick her tongue in my ear, vow to put me on the splash page of Excellence, the university's public relations blog.

If not so ecstatic in her position as Llewellyn, Vargina seemed happy enough, or at least adopted a mode of wise, unruffled decency in the office. She'd been a crack baby, apparently due to her mother being a crackhead, one of the early ones, the baking soda vanguard. Vargina was a miracle, and that's maybe the only time I have used the word sincerely. Her mother had named her the word her name resembled. A sympathetic nurse added the "r."

"Milo," she said now. "How is the Teitelbaum ask going?"

Vargina had enormous breasts I liked to picture flopping out of a sheer burgundy bra. Sometimes they just burst out in slow motion. Sometimes she scooped them out with her slender hands, asked me to join her reading group.

"Making progress," I said. "Chipping away."

"Maybe you need a larger tool," said Vargina, appeared to shudder slightly, perhaps worried her innocent metaphor would be misconstrued as sexual. Her words, however, were not misconstrued at all. I had already begun to picture my cock in high quiver, sliding up the lubed swell of her chest. We were in a library of lacquered wood. Viola tones rose from a carved alcove. Baby oil beaded on rare folios.

"Well," said Vargina, tapped the plastic parapet of my cube wall. "Just stick with it."

"Will do."

Truth was, the Teitelbaum ask was going nowhere. I was barely hanging on here in development. I wasn't developing. I'd done some good work at a non-profit a few years ago, but the South Bronx Restoration Comedy Project never really took off. The university snapped me up at a bargain rate. I'd become one of those mistakes you sometimes find in an office, a not unpleasant but mostly unproductive presence bobbing along on the energy tides of others, a walking reminder of somebody's error in judgment.

But today some karmic adjustment seemed due. Just as Vargina slipped back behind the particleboard walls of her command nook, a painting major we knew a bit too well around here charged up to my desk, planted her bony fist on my Vorticist mouse pad. McKenzie was one of those girls who didn't eat enough, so that all one really noticed about her were the mole-specked rods of her arms, the lurid jut of her skull. Students had no reason to visit our office, but her father had paid for our crappy observatory upstate. She was in here a lot, to preen, complain. I guess it beat making her putrid art.

"Hello, McKenzie," I said.

"Hi, yeah, sorry, I can't remember your name."


"Sure, okay. Milo. Listen, Milo, we talked last week and you promised I'd be able to take the Impressionism to Regressionism seminar even though it was full."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you know, you promised you'd talk to the painting department and sort it all out. I mean, if I told my father-" "Hold on."

"Hold on?"

"I made no such promise. We have nothing to do with academic decisions, with curriculum or enrollment."

"Okay, maybe it was that guy," said McKenzie, pointing.

"Horace?" I said.

"Yeah, Whore-Ass," said McKenzie.

Horace wore a pained grin at his terminal.

"Horace hasn't been well," I told McKenzie. "Now, as I mentioned, we have no jurisdiction over any of these issues, but maybe we can all get together with painting and figure this out."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning we can figure this out."

McKenzie stared. How could she know I myself had once been a fraud, chockablock with self-regard, at an overpriced institution just like this one, still had the debt to prove it? How could she know she stared down at the wispy pate of a man who once believed he was painting's savior, back in a decade that truly needed one?

She spoke quietly now: "Listen, I don't mean to be rude, but you really are here to serve my needs. My father taught me that the consumer is always right. I am the consumer. You are actually the bitch of this particular exchange. But don't think I don't respect that you are just a guy, like, doing your shitty job."

"Thank you," I said.

"But maybe you aren't cut out to work with artists."

I guess what set me off was her effort to be polite. I should have just leaned on the painting department to make room on the roster for her, ruin the semester for some pimple-seared hump who shared his name with no stargazing facility. Nobody cared. I would be doing my shitty job. It was a good shitty job. I'd done it for a few years and it paid pretty well, enough to let Maura go part-time since the baby. There was a quality family plan, plus a quality theft plan, the paints and brushes I smuggled home for those weekends I tried to put something on canvas again, until the old agony would whelm me and I'd stop and briefly weep and then begin to drink and watch Maura cruise up and down the cable dial all night, never alighting on anything for more than a moment, her thumb poised like a hairless and tiny yet impressively predatory animal above the arrow button, Maura herself bent on peeking into every corner of the national hallucination before bedtime.

She liked reality shows the best, and then the shows that purported to be about reality.

So, yes, I should have just surrendered, cinched the entitled scion her little pouch of entitlements, put in my calls to the name shufflers, done my duty.

I thought about that moment later on. Maybe I got extra-tuned to the concept of bitchhood once I became Purdy's, though I must confess I've always found such usage of the term for female dogs distasteful. My mother was a second-wave feminist. I wasn't comfortable saying "cunt" until I was twenty-three, at which point, admittedly, I couldn't hold back for a time.

Or maybe it's just that I've always despised phrases like "that fateful day," but as time went on I found it hard to deny that the afternoon Horace launched his E Pluribus Pimpus oratory and McKenzie tried to reify my servility and I pictured titboning Vargina in a rare books room was pretty damn fateful. Or was it, in fact, just another random day, and it was I who did the fool thing, forced my hand?

What I said to McKenzie, there is no point repeating. It's enough to report my words contained nothing an arrogant, talentless, daddy-damaged waif wants to hear about herself. When I was finished she did not speak. A thickish vein in her pale head fl uttered. The blue thing seemed to veer and switch direction. Then she took a few steps back and, still staring at me, phoned her damager. What was done to me was done in hours. My outburst was deemed hate speech, which called for immediate dismissal. I could hardly argue with them. I think it probably was hate speech. I really fucking hated that girl.


Excerpted from The Ask by Sam Lipsyte Copyright © 2010 by Sam Lipsyte. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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The Ask 3.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 35 reviews.
LawyerMom58 More than 1 year ago
Funny at first, but that stops and the protagonist becomes just plain annoying. Not a likeable character in the book.
lindianajones More than 1 year ago
Sometimes you read a book that got good reviews up the wazoo and you ask yourself why. This is one of those books. Certainly it is an entertaining tale and the author is talented. But this novel is overwritten. Some of it is downright difficult to understand. Quite a few times while reading it I had to go back and reread certain sentences that looped back around each other making you wonder in the end what was the subject and what was the predicate. But after I gave up trying to decipher the writer's personal code, I did manage to finish the book. I was not amused.
RBHolb More than 1 year ago
I don't see what all the fuss was about.  The book has unlikable characters acting out a predictable plot while mouthing banalities.  If the plot really is "secondary to the writing," then the book is just another writer's workshop exercise.
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chetplease More than 1 year ago
Excellent prose. A great story. Highly recommend. This sold me on lipsyte, i will definitely check out his other works.
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JenRickmann More than 1 year ago
If you love the clever, complex writing style found in books from other literary periods, you will enjoy this novel as I did. (Ironically, the book is full of 2010 pop culture references that will likely keep it from being understood into future decades.) I very much enjoyed the unconventional story, giving readers a glimpse into the perhaps never before fictionalized world of higher education fundraising (albeit far from reality). I found this to be one of those books that keeps you reading until you finish. The only reason "The Ask" didn't get five stars from me is its heavy use of profanity. In spite of its relevancy in character development, it's still a turn-off for me personally. Great book regardless!
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tommysalami More than 1 year ago
If you get past the first three pages without laughing, this may not be for you. I loved it. The most cynical and brutally funny look at life for the Gen X now 40 crowd I've read. It was described to me as an update to the classic A Confederacy of Dunces, and lived up to those strong words, for me.
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