AskMen.com Presents the Guy's Guide to Romance: The 11 Rules for Finding a Woman and Making Her Happy

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Overview

The Guy's Guide to Romance is an indispensable handbook filled with fundamentals that every man can use to enter into or maintain a happy, healthy relationship. Divided into 11 rules, The Guy's Guide to Romance helps you cater to your girlfriend's wants and needs and teaches you how to get her to do the same for you. You'll learn how to handle arguments and jealousy, how to live together without driving each other crazy, and how to balance your social life with your romantic life. From the first date to the ...

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AskMen.com Presents The Guy's Guide to Romance

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Overview

The Guy's Guide to Romance is an indispensable handbook filled with fundamentals that every man can use to enter into or maintain a happy, healthy relationship. Divided into 11 rules, The Guy's Guide to Romance helps you cater to your girlfriend's wants and needs and teaches you how to get her to do the same for you. You'll learn how to handle arguments and jealousy, how to live together without driving each other crazy, and how to balance your social life with your romantic life. From the first date to the marriage proposal, from meeting her family to keeping the relationship exciting, The Guy's Guide to Romance is essential reading for every man who wants to get a great girl—and keep her.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061242861
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 2/12/2008
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 860,148
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author

James Bassil is the editor-in-chief of AskMen.com.

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Read an Excerpt

AskMen.com Presents The Guy's Guide to Romance
The 11 Rules for Finding a Woman & Making Her Happy
By James Bassil
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Copyright © 2008 James Bassil
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780061242861


Chapter One

Rule One

Meet Her

Before any romance can blossom, there has to be an initial meeting, and before there can be an initial meeting, there has to be a guy willing to step up and initiate contact—and that guy is you. Is it possible that she'll be the one to pick you up? Sure, anything's possible, but it's not likely. And while you're sitting around waiting for it to happen, plenty of other guys will be making their moves, and plenty of happy coupledoms will be emerging for it.

Like it or not, it still falls on the man to initiate the pursuit, and that isn't likely to change anytime soon. Rather than lamenting this fact, it's time to adapt to it. Begin by conquering that fear that inhibits so many men from approaching women: the fear of rejection.

Overcome your fear of rejection

Mankind has overcome the hardships of war and natural disasters. Yet there is one natural fear that seems to overcome most men: the fear of rejection. This instinctive emotion paralyzes us and hinders us from doing the things we really want to do, including meeting women. Some men are so afraidof rejection that they would rather run through a minefield than walk up to a woman and ask her out on a date.

You're not her type

Most men fear rejection because it lowers their self-esteem. But there is really no reason to lose any confidence when women say "no" because they aren't really rejecting you. How could they be rejecting you when they don't even know what you're all about? It's not like they studied your personality and qualities before deciding to refuse you. Maybe they declined your offer because:

They're dating someone or married.
They're having a bad day.
They like you, but have their protective shield up.
They don't feel like talking to anyone—even Brad Pitt.

The important thing to remember is that no one in this world can appeal to everyone's tastes. Each woman has her preferences, so if she rejects you, it just means that you don't fit the description of what she desires. All the more reason to approach as many women as possible in order to increase your chances of finding one who is looking for a guy like you.

Take the plunge

The "fear of rejection" will persist until the day you decide to overcome it. All you have to do is start up a conversation, and the rest will fall into place. Note that this does not involve corny pickup lines. An honest conversation is the best route. Here are some suggestions.

Once you notice signs that she's interested (eye contact, touching her hair, and so on), walk directly up to her and introduce yourself. You can start by asking if you can join her for a drink. If she says yes, ask her name. If she's interested, she'll ask the same. If she doesn't ask, it's not the end of the world; just keep the lines of communication open.

Keep the conversation interesting; focus on her and really listen to what she says. Then, follow up with another question that links with what she just finished saying. For example:

You: "Do you have a job?"
Her: "Yes, and I'm also studying."
You: "Wow, you're a busy woman!"
Her: "Yes, there are days when I feel like I'm just going to collapse."
You: "I bet you're looking forward to a vacation."
Her: "Oh yes, I just can't wait to get away for a while."
You: "And what would your ideal vacation spot be?"

This is just one example of many possible conversations. The idea is to listen to her and follow up with a correlating question. When this method is properly applied, it will keep the conversation interesting.

Top 10 icebreakers

Of course, striking up a conversation with a beautiful stranger is easier said than done. It helps to have some tried-and-true ways to break the ice and start a conversation up your sleeve.



Whether you're at work, play, or somewhere in between, there are always opportunities to meet women. It's just a matter of knowing the right thing to say at the right time to come across as cool, honest, and intriguing. You'll strike out from time to time, but that's okay. Don't dwell on rejection. Stay confident, and you'll be meeting more women than you know what to do with.

Your main weapon is always the art of adaptation. Before moving in, assess whether the scenario involves a "hot" or a "cold" pickup.

Hot situations occur when she's noticed you and has given you that "come hither" signal (either via eye contact, a sexy flip of her hair, or one of those shy smiles).

Cold situations, on the other hand, happen when there hasn't been any previous flirting. This scenario can prove to be more difficult, as you're never sure if she is, or will be, interested.

Number 10: Introduce yourself

This almost goes without saying: If there has been no previous flirting, she's not going to know you exist until you make her aware you're there. To use a golf analogy, it's always the approach shot that sets up the hole. No different with the ladies. Stride up to her casually and introduce yourself.

What to say:

"I'm Joe, happy to meet you."
"I'm Joe. I don't believe we've been introduced."

Number 9: Buy her a drink

Whether you're at a bar, restaurant, or coffee shop, a great icebreaker involves the classic buying of a drink. Have the waiter send her another round of what she's already having (if you want to be more aggressive, you could send her your favorite drink), accompanied by a playful note, with your phone number included. Be sure to have the waiter let her know the source of the drink. On your way out, stop by her table and introduce yourself. It's a bold approach, without being invasive.

What to say:

"Hope you enjoyed your drink."
"This is my favorite drink; thought you might enjoy it too."



Continues...

Excerpted from AskMen.com Presents The Guy's Guide to Romance by James Bassil Copyright © 2008 by James Bassil. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Introduction     ix
Meet Her     1
Overcome Your Fear of Rejection     1
Take the Plunge     2
Top 10 Icebreakers     3
Learn to Read a Woman's Body Language     8
Always Get Her Phone Number     12
7 Golden Rules for Phone Calls     15
Be a First Date Pro     19
7 Things Women Expect on a First Date     19
Top 10 First Date Conversation Tips     22
Tips for a Blind Date     25
Top 10 First Date Faux Pas     27
Recover from a Bad First Impression     32
Second Date Success     34
Transition from Friendship to Relationship     40
When a Girl Friend Becomes a Girlfriend     40
Friend to Flame in 5 Easy Steps     43
Office Romance: Is Your Female Co-Worker Flirting?     46
Flirting vs. True Attraction     51
Sail Through the Courting Phase     56
Top 10 Signs She's Made for You     57
9 Signs You're Dating a Loser     59
Top 10 Traits of a Great Boyfriend     65
8 Ways to Make Her Swoon     68
Annoying Behaviors: 7 Things Men Think Women Like     72
Women's Tests and Howto Pass Them     75
Are High Maintenance Women Worth It?     79
Dealing with High Maintenance Women     83
Becoming Exclusive     86
Leaving the Past Behind     89
Top 10 New Relationship Don'ts     92
The Three-Month Mark: Signs of Love     96
Integrate into Each Other's Lives     99
Defuse Her Hateful Friends     99
The Woman with Many Male Friends     103
Top 10 Signs Your Buddies Hate Your Girl     108
Maintain Your Relationship     113
Painless Relationship Maintenance     114
The Life Span of Romantic Gestures     118
4 Ways to Communicate with Women     122
9 Common Relationship Killers     126
Handle the Tough Times     132
Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships     132
Dealing with a Jealous Girlfriend     139
5 Tips for Arguing with Women     144
Fight Civilly     147
Top 10 Arguments to Avoid     150
The ABCs of Relationship Recovery     154
Is It Time for a Relationship Break?     157
6 Breakup Tips for a Broken Relationship     162
Top 10 Ways to Get Her Back      163
Impress her Family     166
Impress Her Siblings     166
A Guide to Meeting Her Parents     172
Top 10 Ways to Impress Her Mom     179
Top 10 Ways to Win Over Her Father     181
Make the Cohabitation Leap     186
5 Signs She Wants to Move In with You     186
Moving In Together     189
Top 10 Romantic Things to Do When Living Together     194
Benefits of a Girls' Night Out     198
Getting Away with a Boys' Night Out     200
Keep Your Relationship Exciting     203
Anniversaries: Happy Birthday to Us     203
Guide to Anniversaries     206
Spicing Up Your Sex Life     209
Woo Her All Over Again     211
8 Ways to Rekindle Romance     215
Plan Ahead     218
Postpone Your Proposal     218
Top 10 Signs You're Ready to Pop the Question     222
Proposal Protocol     226
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