Assertive Discipline for Parents: A Proven, Step-by-Step Approach to Solving Everyday Behavior Problems

Overview

You Can Get Your Children To Behave

Raising happy, well-behaved children seems to be harder than ever. The old answers don't seem to work. New approaches are needed. Assertive Discipline for Parents is the parenting book that addresses the needs of today's parents.

You will learn:

  • How to communicate — to ...
See more details below
Paperback (REVISED)
$10.53
BN.com price
(Save 24%)$13.99 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (65) from $1.99   
  • New (7) from $7.66   
  • Used (58) from $1.99   
Sending request ...

Overview

You Can Get Your Children To Behave

Raising happy, well-behaved children seems to be harder than ever. The old answers don't seem to work. New approaches are needed. Assertive Discipline for Parents is the parenting book that addresses the needs of today's parents.

You will learn:

  • How to communicate — to say what you mean and mean what you say
  • How and when to provide positive support when your children do behave
  • How to avoid being manipulated by your children's "I don't care" attitudes, threat and anger

Assertive Discipline for Parents will enable you to master the skills needed to guide your children's behavior successfully.

Parents are taught new approaches to say what they mean and mean what they say--as well as how and when to provide positive support when children behave. They also learn how to avoid being manipulated by their children's "I don't care" attitudes, threats, and anger.

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062732798
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 7/28/1993
  • Edition description: REVISED
  • Pages: 144
  • Sales rank: 345,806
  • Product dimensions: 7.37 (w) x 9.25 (h) x 0.32 (d)

Meet the Author

Leo and Marlene Canter are nationally renowned for their work in the fields of education and parenting. Through their educational consulting firm, Canter and Associates, Inc., and through their Assertive Discipline program, they have shown thousands of educators and parents how to raise happy, responsible children. Their books have sold over 750,00 copies. The author live in Los Angeles with their two children.

Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

Assertive Discipline for Parents, Revised EditionChapter OneTake Charge And Be The Boss

There are times I really feel like I can't handle my kids. The way my kids carry on is simply too much for me. I talk and they just don't listen. I'm lost, I'm overwhelmed, and I'm scared.

— Mother of two, ages seven and ten

I've tried everything I can think of to get my children to behave. I talk to them, I listen to them, I help them express their feelings, I reason with them, and they still act up and talk back day-in and day-out. I'm just at my wits' end.

— Father of three, ages four, eight, and eleven

My kids are just too strong-willed for me or their teacher to handle. It seems that every day I get a call from school about how bad one of them has been. The teachers ask me to do something with my kids and all I can honestly say is that I don't know what to do. I can't describe how frustrating this is for me.

— Mother of two, ages twelve and fourteen


Every day we hear comments like these from parents we work with. Why is this so? More and more parents are expressing how overwhelmed and powerless they feel in dealing with the misbehavior of their children. At times it seems that we are encountering a generation of children who are so strong-willed that in many ways they are controlling the parents who are supposed to be leading and guiding them. The result we observe in all too many families is unnecessary stress, tension and conflict.

At the same time that so many parents feel frustrated and helpless, other parents demonstrate that they are fully capable of getting their children to behave. You mayask, "Why do those parents get their children to do what they want them to?" We asked the same question ourselves, and after years of carefully examining parent/child interactions, we found what we believe is the answer. Parents who are effective with their children possess the skills and confidence necessary to clearly and firmly communicate their wants and needs to their children. These parents are prepared to stand up to their children's misbehavior in a firm, no-nonsense and caring manner. Basically, these parents assert their authority with their children.

In Assertive Discipline we have taken the skills we have learned from these effective parents and combined them into a systematic program designed to enable parents to take charge of their children's misbehavior in a firm, consistent and loving manner.

When Do You Need Assertive Discipline?

Assertive Discipline should be used when your everyday approaches to handling your children's behavior haven't worked. If talking with your children, reasoning with them or understanding their feelings doesn't help improve their behavior, then it's time for Assertive Discipline. For example:

You have visitors one evening and your four-year-old daughter is still awake at 9:30 P.m. She is overtired and irritable, but refuses to go to sleep. You understand that she doesn't want to miss the fun, but you feel it is in her best interest and your best interest that she goes to sleep. How do you get her into bed?

Your two children are continually at odds with one another. They argue, tease each other, and sometimes fight, You've tried separating them, having family meetings, understanding the reasons they feel the way they do, but the conflicts continue. You are reaching the point at which you can't take it any more. What can you do?

You have a full-time job and you need your teenage son's help with the housework. He refuses to help, saying he hates doing chores. You realize that his friends don't have these responsibilities and that he would rather play ball the entire afternoon, but you are too tired at the end of the day to do all the housework yourself. You've spoken to him at length about the issue, but he still will not do as you ask, How do you get him to help?

At times like these you need specific skills to ensure that your children listen to you. At times like these you need Assertive Discipline.

Be The Boss

Through Assertive Discipline we will teach you how to take charge in problem situations and let your children know you must be the "boss." By being the boss we mean sending your children the following message:

I care too much about you to let you misbehave. Your problem behavior must stop. I'm prepared to back up my words with appropriate actions to let you know I mean business.

In addition, and just as important, being the boss means you care enough to provide your children with direct and positive feedback when they do change their problem behavior.

Roadblocks

If in the past you have ever found it difficult to be the boss when your children's behavior demands it, don't fret — you are not alone. Many, if not most, of today's parents are in the same position. We have found that there are two major roadblocks to assertive parent behavior.

Reluctance to Come on Strong: When a parent responds in a take-charge manner, he or she typically responds to the child with a firm, direct statement. We are well aware that many parents feel they are failures if they have to respond forcefully in order to get their children to do what they want. Many parents have been told by contemporary child-rearing experts that for the well-being of their children, no matter how badly they behave, the parents should avoid "stern" or "authoritarian" actions and find alternative psychological approaches.

Assertive Discipline for Parents, Revised Edition. Copyright (c) by Lee Canter . Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)