Assholes Finish First

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More About This Book

Overview


What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another bestselling book on your hands.

Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit."

You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking:

• What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets?

• What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does?

• At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job?

• When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name on her body, what is the appropriate reaction?

The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences:

His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.

  • A**holes Finish First
    A**holes Finish First  

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781416938743
  • Publisher: Gallery Books
  • Publication date: 9/28/2010
  • Pages: 416
  • Sales rank: 75,929
  • Product dimensions: 6.30 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 1.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Tucker Max

Tucker Max received his BA with highest honors from the University of Chicago in 1998, and attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he graduated with a JD in 2001. His first book, "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell," is a #1 NY Times Best Seller, has spent over 150 weeks on the NY Times Best Seller List over five calendar years, and has sold over 1 million copies. He has also been credited with being the originator and leader of the literary genre, "fratire," and was nominated to Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential List in 2009. He currently lives in Austin, Texas, and can be reached through his website, TuckerMax.com.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 565 )

Rating Distribution

5 Star

(280)

4 Star

(126)

3 Star

(84)

2 Star

(32)

1 Star

(43)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 577 Customer Reviews

  • Posted January 9, 2011

    I Also Recommend:

    9780975264041 9780060989156

    Missed the mark, bad sequel

    The Tucker is back. Like a bad accident you can't look away from. Book one a fresh and funny, raw diary of naïve, self-destructive freshmen overindulging in shameless situations. Great unpredictable bits. Cutting repartee between the motley characters. Penned with minimalist blogger, literary skills. Tales blatantly exaggerated, that reek of snake oil. In a way, the flaws made it even better. The essence of college.

    Enter the post-college sequel, written by a now mid-30s law grad Tucker. Expectations? Spontaneous tales and laughs from a narcissistic, neurotic adult, with some cash to upgrade his levels of sleaze. Intrigue and twists navigating his next phase in life. Self-discovery. Seasoned writing. Vastly improved comedic delivery. Reality? It took a week to read 20 pages. What happened? The shock value and self-deprecation is gone...replaced with weak, exaggerated penthouse letters for knuckle-dragging virgins with no life experience. He's regressed to puberty. It became a mission to find anything funny. Out of 400 pages, only Tuckerfest and the Midgets strike back brought laughs. The rest? Low rent college blogger scribblings, aggrandizing ordinary events into imaginary Demi-God legends. It reads like a Dumb and Dumber parody of a sociopathic, transparently insecure BS artist, who refers to himself in 3rd person like some Fraternity deity. No dynamics. Flat, one-dimensional characters. We're talking groundbreaking puberty comedy here; liquor, sex, and rebellion; using people as props, and then "insert clichéd insult and gross thing here" for the dreaded, yawning punch lines. I love juvenile humor done right. Farrelly Brothers movies are hilarious. This just falls flat due a lethal combination of weak content, misplaced arrogance to vomit levels, and just frankly...not funny. Think cocky z-list comedian who bombs at the Improv, and mid-set drops the mic and storms off because the crowd is "too stupid to understand the brilliance." Second half of book he pontificates about groupie sex and fame, being a revolutionary "artist"...life's view from the top. Seriously. You're killing us. One can visualize the late night burning oil sessions; those spontaneous tomes flying off the steady quill pen that would leave Hunter Thompson and Hemingway quivering with envy. "I know - I'll make up a story about screwing a fat, one legged, vomiting skank who suddenly gets her period - It will be AWESOME!! Tucker Max is a GOD!!!" The irony of the title, well... Other than the two stories, the entertainment here is the content and author are unintentionally hilarious to laugh at. (Hello, David Brent). For any chance to work, the book calls for a self-deprecating guy laughing at himself and the bizarre situations he gets into....followed by self-discovery, development of character, etc. Miss this one. Get the first book. Recommended debauchery books. The Dirt... by Neil Strauss. Addictive tale traveling on tour with Motley Crue and Ozzy. Insane binging, womanizing and pillaging. High Heels and Dirty Deals...by Brett Tate. Brilliant satirist; a twisted gifted rogue's photodocumentary of an insatiable quest for women and vice. Gritty, hilarious Russian mobsters. Screaming funny observation humor, overindulgence and debauchery to cartoonish levels, coupled with stunning erotic photography.

    14 out of 16 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 30, 2010

    must read...

    ...unless you're a douch like chucky1 there. offensive is funny, and no one does offensive like tucker max! hey chucky1, go play with your dolls and stop bothering true literary connoisseurs douche bag!

    5 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 10, 2011

    it is what it is

    Why would you buy a book, knowing what it is, then complain and give it a bad review? This is def a man's book. Obscene and vulger, but it doesn't hide tnat from the description. Expect it. Its hilariously offensive.Get over it or dont read it. or do and laugh your ass off.

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 3, 2010

    do not waste your time

    The only trouble with E-Books is when you get a true loser like this one you cannot get your money back, I am not sure why anyone would publish this book. Even the writing is bad.

    4 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 3, 2010

    waste of time

    that's about it...

    3 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 31, 2010

    Run away from this mess.

    Don't waste your time, money, or braincells.

    3 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 14, 2010

    If you liked his first book, then you'll love the second installment

    While he's certainly an egotistical a**hole, he makes no qualms about it. His witty and funny banter regarding his life experiences make the stories come alive as if you were there with him. I loved the Harlem DUI story and thought it wouldn't get any better, but then I started in on the Post-Fame sex stories and I was apparently wrong. Totally a guilty pleasure of mine to read this. I was recently flying and while waiting at baggage claim for my luggage with book in hand, another fan came up and we chatted for a good 20 minutes about the merits of this and the previous book.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 12, 2010

    Not entertaining.

    I want my money back.

    3 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 6, 2011

    Very Very funny

    If you have any sense of humor and an open mind you will find this book very funny. It is basically the same stuff as his first book except parts are even more obscene and funny. He explains and describes situations and thoughts very well with a funny perspective. Anyone that enjoys the topics of sex, alchohol, and humor will enjoy this book. You will find yourself laughing to yourself very hard to the point of tears. Enjoy!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 13, 2010

    Pretty funny

    I typically like well-written books no matter what the subject and this one is no exception. Tucker is quite funny and a good story-teller. For some reason he's especially funny when he's mocking himself. I definately enjoy reading about his adventures and the people he knows/meets. This book is obviously not for everyone and I can certainly see how A LOT of people would be offended by Tucker Max...but I find him to be pretty hilarious.
    I usually offer other author/book suggestions but...I'm not quite sure what genre Max falls into. If you're female, Chelsea Handler's books are quite funny.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 10, 2012

    raunchy...not funny

    Some funny parts...mostly just raunchy guy humor. I'm too old for this book. "Sh*t my Dad says" was MUCH better.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 14, 2011

    dont bother

    poorly executed. lack of climax and the author is just wanting to beon tmz. Good luck. waste of money buy other books this isnt funny....so elementRy.u

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 6, 2012

    Assholes finish first

    Loved it

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 22, 2012

    Recommend!

    Great read! Laughed so hard I could't put it down.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 8, 2012

    Worst

    Terrible

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 5, 2012

    Comments

    For thos of you that refer to the author as an "idiot," he is probably smarter than you. He did his undergrad at U Chicago: a school with a 20% acceptance rate and then went to law school at Duke-an exceptional school. I'm not saying I agree with everything he did, but if you are going to insult somebody, do it properly.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 23, 2012

    Worst book I ever read

    This is nothing but trash with absolutely no redeeming social value. Every page is filled with nothing but his drunken and sexual escapades. There is no real story here except to discuss his personal perversions and the tremendously oversized ego the writer has. This was a total waste of money. I give it one star because you do not list a choice of no stars.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 15, 2012

    meh.

    Ihtsbih was funnier although this book had a handful of funny stories

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 9, 2012

    Solid

    It's funny although not nearly as funny as his first book. I am not sure about all the people are rating it so low. Obviously they had no idea what they were getting into and have no sense of humor.

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  • Posted February 7, 2012

    A great follow up to IHTSBIH!!

    After reading a bunch of reviews on this book, I had some slight hesitations. I was such a big fan of the first book that I had to put all doubt aside and just read it.

    Needless to say, Tucker had me captivated the whole way through and had me wanting more. Can't wait to get my hands on "Hilarity Ensues" and whatever else Tucker plans on coming out with.

    Trust me when I say, if you liked the first book, then you MUST read this one.

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