Astrology's Secrets to Hot Romance: How to Find True Compatability and the One Who's Right for You


"What's your sign?" is not only a great pickup line, but a terrific question that can unearth secrets to discovering the true love you've been waiting for. In Astrology's Secrets to Hot Romance, you'll discover everything you need to know about all 12 astrological signs to bring you closer to the passionate connection your sign is best aligned with!

Written by Phyllis F. Mitz, M.A., a sought-after astrologer and relationship counselor, this exciting guide shares hundreds of strategies for strengthening ...

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"What's your sign?" is not only a great pickup line, but a terrific question that can unearth secrets to discovering the true love you've been waiting for. In Astrology's Secrets to Hot Romance, you'll discover everything you need to know about all 12 astrological signs to bring you closer to the passionate connection your sign is best aligned with!

Written by Phyllis F. Mitz, M.A., a sought-after astrologer and relationship counselor, this exciting guide shares hundreds of strategies for strengthening relationships of all kinds--from romantic to family and friendship--and shows you ways to create and maintain the love you seek. You will be empowered to:

  • Discover which of the 12 astrological signs you are most compatible with
  • Understand what each sign wants and gives in relationships
  • Learn actions and attitudes that "turn on" other signs
  • Know what types of dates, dress, and even conversation topics are most attractive to potential partners
  • Identify real tools for enhancing compatibility and overcoming issues--including in the bedroom
  • And much more!

Astrology is an incredible tool for finding and sustaining the kinds of relationships you truly desire. Here's your chance to learn something about yourself, as well as how to find hot romance . . . and a loving, true relationship.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780757304903
  • Publisher: Health Communications, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 1/2/2007
  • Pages: 531
  • Sales rank: 1,446,132
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 1.40 (d)

Meet the Author

Phyllis F. Mitz, M.A., has enjoyed a flourishing astrology practice for over twenty years. Using her unique blend of astrology with psychology (in which she holds her master's degree) and spirituality, she has counseled thousands of people from all walks of life, including many celebrities, politicians and corporate executives. Phyllis makes frequent radio appearances, is widely published, and lectures throughout the United States on the practical ways in which people can use astrology to make their lives happier and more successful.
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Read an Excerpt

Part One: So Many Signs, So Little Time

Chapter One
Aries (March 21–April 19)

Who They Are

When you have an Aries in your life, you're sure to be excited, challenged, and whisked from one adventure to another. That's because these dynamic creatures are all about living passionately! They love diving headfirst from one pursuit to the next, thrilled by the last one, yet anxious to get on to the next one. Aries are incredibly fast, enthusiastic, and spontaneous—their guts tell them where to go. There is an exuberant trailblazer in every Aries that constantly seeks the new territory, the great challenge, the 'never tried before.' High-spirited and full of bravado, Aries are by far the happiest when they're initiating a new project or embarking on a new course of interest—including a relationship with you!

Life with an Aries is in a constant state of action, renewal, and adventure. They tirelessly pursue ideas and projects that make life interesting and exciting. Same goes for their relationships; never ones to be satisfied with ordinary routines or ideas, Aries will wake you up in the middle of the night to go dancing and take you skydiving for your birthday. So hang on; life with an Aries can be a wild ride!

The essential ingredient for happiness for every Fire Sign, including Aries, is the freedom to explore life's possibilities. Aries absolutely need room to grow and test themselves. They thrive on taking risks that can create magic, a stroke of luck, or a fortunate turn in life. Aries have an aversion to life's being too predictable, safe, and planned out. That lifestyle not only stifles them, it can lead to an unhappy discontent.

Aries' Fire Sign energy gives them a great capacity for leadership. They're imbued with a tremendous urge to initiate new endeavors. And Aries are visionaries—they specialize in forging new territories, trying things they (nor anyone else) have ever done before, and always stirring up the proverbial status quo!

Once a project or endeavor is up and running, or if Aries feel they have learned enough from a situation, they're off—starting another project and proving how it can be done in their own, innovative way. If you catch their vision and want to come along, an Aries will welcome you. They love being the heroic leader that makes life zing!

Understanding Aries comes easiest when you understand that their perspective is primarily personal: they are very aware of their personal wants, needs, and desires. In fact, Aries' life lesson is to be true to themselves. Instead of worrying about what others are doing, or even what they want, Aries feel they should live life the way they want, when they want to do it. And they expect their needs should be met with immediacy. So when trying to engage Aries' attention toward your ideas or requests, package them in a way so that they're somehow about Aries.

Most Aries approach life as a series of personal missions. Whatever their intentions are, they're important. They get a clear vision of what they're after, and they pursue it fearlessly. Whether Aries' mission is winning your heart or choosing the fastest line in the grocery store, their exuberant confidence is rarely distracted with thoughts of failure—they concentrate solely on success!

As Aries themselves will attest—as will anyone who knows one—those born under this sign are incredibly impatient: they want what they want right now! Later means forever to Aries, and they will push and drive to satisfy their insistent needs, wants, and curiosity the moment they erupt. It's hard for Aries to wait to fulfill their desires or to let a plan slowly unfold. But encouraging them to do so might help them avoid some unnecessary mistakes.

One terrific way of understanding Aries is remembering that at heart, each one is a conquering hero. They're thrilled and motivated by the idea of doing battle with and vanquishing anything or anyone standing between them and their goals. Aries sense their lives have an important mission, and they're ready, willing, and eager to realize it. Aries act out the conquering hero theme in their relationships. It shows up right away when they make it their mission to do whatever it takes to win your attention, love, and affection. Make yourself a mission worth exploring!

Aries are fierce competitors, as well. True to their zodiac symbol, the Ram, who goes headfirst to claim its territory, Aries' adrenaline rushes when going head-to-head with any challenge they seek or opponent who gets in their way. They love proving to themselves (and everyone else) that they're gallant heroes who'll come out on top.

What Aries Want in Relationships and How You Can Attract One

Aries love mates whose powers and passions match their own. Aries gravitate toward passionate, involved, challenging, and powerful people. If you can inspire them, thrill them, promote them, teach them, or even infuriate them, Aries are interested. So express yourself in a most courageous, inspired manner. Unabashed confidence is what intrigues Aries most. Acting powerfully with genuine self-respect wins their attention and interest.

Aries desire dynamos; no wimps allowed! Aries want to be with mates who are genuinely real and true to themselves. Let your chutzpah and sass show! Are you powerful? Let Aries see it! Sexy? Bring it on! Smart? How smart? Aries like to think they're in the winner's circle, so show your winning self when you're around them!

Forget about clinging or kowtowing to Aries—they won't respect you if you do. The ironic thing about Aries is that with all their jousting to dominate, they aren't interested in 'yes people' who jump at their every call. That bores them to tears. They want companions who'll stand up to their Arian energies and show them the kind of power their inner hero can trust and rely on. What hero picks a wimp for a sidekick?

Nevertheless, every Aries usually does have a few impressed groupies tagging along with them in their adventures. 'Hey,' Aries tell themselves, 'Maybe they'll learn something from the Master—me!' Aries' best friends are either very secure in their own accomplishments or are dedicated fans to whom Aries can be a heroic role model.

Aries want to be at the top of your list. Aries' simplicity asks only that they are the center of your universe, because after all, they are the center of their own universe. They want to know how special they are to you, if not even your absolute favorite person ever! Prize Aries and shower them with compliments—they'll knock themselves out to live up to your good expectations.

Aries want your devoted attention. Aries are rarely the type of companions who readily accept waiting on the back burner while you do something more important. These feisty Rams will simply not be ignored. Never ones to take 'no' or even 'not now' for an answer, they'll entertain, cajole, and try every angle to call your attention to them. If they can't get your attention by wowing you with bravado, they'll make you deal with their chest-pounding temper. Remember, to an impatient Aries, 'later' means 'forever.' Aries respect that your career and social needs are important, but you must reassure Aries that they're important to you, as well. If you must put them off, let them know how much you value them and anticipate how much fun it will be when you reunite. Then hurry back!

Aries crave constant action and juice in their relationships. In a relationship, Aries want to feel something powerful is being exchanged. If you love an Aries, show it; if you're mad, let them know that, too. Whip up the energy! Cook up activities that surprise Aries, stretch them, and bring out their adventurousness. Aries find what is new to be hopelessly alluring. Present them with new mountains to climb, dragons to slay, and honors to win. Keep their interest sparked by being spontaneous and even outrageous in all you do. Comfortable routines are for other signs.

Aries are exhilarated by 'the chase.' Aries find great romance and thrill in the pursuit of anything. Give them something about you or life that they can work to win at. Remember that it's the idea and the act of conquering that's so exciting for Aries. Once they actually win you over, they could become bored and start looking for another chase. So don't give them the impression they've conquered your will and you'll do whatever they want. After all, the idea of winning—at anything—is intoxicating to Aries.

Aries savor a good competition. Many Aries are thrilled going head-to-head with you to see who's best—at anything. Do they want to win? Oh, yes! But don't just hand success to an Aries. They want to know they've won only if you've played your best. If Aries lose? They'll be back for another round.

Aries crave encouragement for and faith in their abilities. You needn't necessarily be as dynamic or risk-taking as Aries (few people are after all), but they want you to believe in them. Support their inner myth that they are powerful warriors capable of achieving anything they put their minds to. As brazen as Aries act, they nevertheless need and appreciate loads of reassurance. Tell them what's right about their plans, good about their behavior, and smart about their ideas. The amazing thing about an Aries is they do pull off the most amazing stunts, so go ahead and bank on their success!

Aries like gentleness. With their warrior natures, Aries welcome the chance to relax around others, knowing they won't be cut down should they take off their armor. Aries actually glow when they're wooed and admired. As a show of affection, Rams might nuzzle foreheads with you, using their horns for affection, not for fighting. They melt when they're appreciated and acknowledged, and become eager to show what more they can do for their beloved.

What Aries Offer in Relationships

Aries are vigorous in their relationships. If you are able to catch Aries' attention, they will give you all of it—at least at first. Aries will consume and penetrate you until they have figured you out. If they like what they see, they will continue to be direct, intense, and attentive. If they don't like what they see? Aries won't waste your time or theirs by stringing you along—they'll be gone in a flash.

Aries bring gusto, intensity, and dynamism to their relationships. Aries will move you with their power and prowess, challenge you with their insights and encouragements, and otherwise make your life extremely exciting. Always looking for what's new and innovative, Aries will treat you to a steady stream of interests and activities that keep you on your toes and discovering things you'd never know existed were it not for Aries' insights and initiation. Needless to say, you will never be bored.

Aries will make you love them, if they want you to. By using their charm, wit, and seduction, Aries will seduce you. When Aries set their sights on you, no one is as compelling. They have an entire arsenal of gifts that attract. And they're not shy about using them.

Aries deliver loads of surprises and newness in their relationships. Everything and anything will be heightened when Aries is around. Their zest for life and love of adventure make whatever you endeavor together fresh and lively. Always looking for the unexpected angle and opportunities to stir energies up, Aries will treat you to adventures galore and unexpected delights. They introduce you to loads of people you've never met (nor have they, but to them no one is a stranger), as well as spark your interest in subjects you've never heard of.

Aries are unabashedly direct about their intentions. You'll never have to read their minds. 'I think you're sexy, and I want to get to know you.' 'I want your job; how do I get it?' 'I want to be your friend; let's get together!' What to do with such direct Arian advances? Run with them! Aries have fantastic instincts, and they're probably right about your potential. Along with that, Aries will pump you up by telling you directly what they like about you. 'You're funny! I like that!' or 'You're naughty! I'm excited!' And Aries will let you know how to get along with them by telling you what they want to see more of and what they want to see less of as well.

Aries will give you plenty of autonomy (especially when they know they're number one with you). Aries' natural openness and curiosity create a fertile ground for you to discover new freedom of thought and expression. After all, Aries want their partners to be exciting, so they encourage you to do exciting things. Instead of holding you to old attitudes, lifestyles, and habits, Aries will applaud as you change and even find ways to assist in your blossoming.

Aries will encourage or even insist that you develop your confidence and power. Savvy Aries are able to see straight through to someone's potential, and they'll help others to develop it right now. Instead of patiently standing by while you talk of dreams, an Aries will put you on the road to achieving them by making the calls, establishing the connections, or otherwise (gently or sometimes not so gently) pushing you in the direction you need to go. You can rest assured you'll never get stuck in a rut when Aries is around.

Aries make you feel sexy. Aries are not only comfortable with their sexuality, they're downright proud of it! They know how to exude a compelling animal magnetism that attracts and motivates others—even while giving a presentation in the boardroom. Aries will show you how to use your sex appeal as well by applauding your sexy shirt or encouraging you to walk, talk, or move in a way that says 'I'm desirable!'

Aries bring a dash of warmth and sweetness to a relationship. Once you get past Aries' bravado, you'll be exposed to their incredible tenderness. Aries will touch your heartstrings to make you feel fully tended to. That Aries neighbor who's gruff and distracted when tending to his yard is also a pussycat who rubs his wife's feet every night. The Aries boss who's tough as nails? At home she bakes cookies for the kids down the street. When you are in Aries' trusted inner circle, they'll extend themselves in countless ways to bring you comfort and pleasure.

Aries will understand you with deep sincerity and insight. Aries will say things that show they've been listening to you, watching you, and most important, learning to know you all along. Their intuition zeros right in on the core of what you're trying to say (often before you know what you're trying to say) and gives you the feeling of being truly heard and understood by them. Plus, Aries come up with solutions for any problems you report that are so creative and innovative they might initially seem nutty, yet when tried turn out to be ingenious. Aries like being the person you go to when you need counsel or support, provided, of course, you're willing to move on their ideas.

The Aries Lover

As the conquering hero, Aries are naturally spurred on by the idea of winning love. They are invigorated by the chase and thrive on conquering any obstacles that stand in the way of love's promise. Aries make a mission of finding that ideal soul mate with whom they can blend ecstatically and enjoy a true, enduring love. They hunger for a perfected union in which they can devote themselves and serve.

When Aries loves you, they'll put you on a pedestal and do whatever it takes to make you happy. Their inner hero makes your happiness their mission. They'll want to spend quality time with you and connect by talking, telling stories, and showing affection. When they have your undivided attention, they'll make it worth your while by knocking themselves out to be your champion.

Despite their independence and their insistent 'I'll do it on my own, my way' approach, Aries are looking for a love they can respect and finally yield to. When they discover the one they can trust enough to become vulnerable to, they let go of the warrior garb and allow themselves to become chivalrously devoted paramours.

Aries adore a swooning, hot, and immediate affair: if Aries is into you, their motto will be, 'Why wait until later when I'm attracted to you right now?' Headfirst they launch into winning your attention and admiration. They'll call two seconds after they get your cell phone number, find countless ways to run into you, and send oversized bouquets to your office to put you and all others on notice that they intend to have you. That charming stranger sidling up to your restaurant table for an introduction? An Aries!

And romantic! Whew! Once Aries fall in love, they are devoted, swooning lovers, tireless in their attentiveness and affection for their beloved.

What kind of dates do Aries enjoy?

Take Aries on adventures that get their blood pumping and adrenaline rushing—like a sporting event or an exciting concert. Let them know how impressed you are with them and show them something to be impressed about with you. No need to hide any of your charms: let Aries see them. Aries are also very visual creatures, and they're downright spellbound by beauty. Try wearing something red, and see how the Aries Ram sits up and takes notice. And, since Aries are turned on by confidence, exude an air about yourself that says, 'I'm the hottest person in this room!' Let your prowess show.

What are Aries like between the sheets?

One word: passion! Rams consider sexuality one of the most important components of love, and they are enthusiastic, superphysical, give-it-all lovers. So by all means show them how sexy you are and how much you enjoy your sexuality as well as theirs. Beyond wanting lovers who catch their eye, Aries also desire partners they can romance and play with. They take great pleasure in acting on the variety of sensual fantasies both parties conjure up. Aries relish flinging aside inhibitions and letting their lusty animal nature lead by giving and receiving indulgent pleasures (admittedly, with an emphasis on receiving!). And, remember, Aries are also very performance-conscious, so let them know they are the best lover ever.

Aries happily allow themselves to be ravished. In fact, the only time they truly do let themselves relax and be 'taken over' is in the bedroom. Aries don't mind a little passionate foreplay and teasing innuendos, but true to their impatient nature, they are anxious to 'get to the goal line.' Too much putting them or their satisfaction off until later can be a deflating turnoff for them.

What turns Aries off?

Aries are turned off when the wind is taken out of their passionate sails: criticism hurts and deflates them, prudishness disappoints them, and familiar routines bore Aries and prompt their wandering eye. Keep 'emotional processing' to a minimum, as well as 'let's talk sessions.' Aries don't want to talk about love, they want to do it!

Hint: the Aries lover can feel vulnerable—if not jealous—should they suspect your attention is being pulled elsewhere. They may wonder if they are, indeed, enough: Are they a good enough lover? Are they interesting enough? Aries deeply appreciate being reassured that their strength and power are adored and cherished.

Ways Aries Can Drive You Crazy and What to Do About It

As with every other sign, the very traits that make Aries exciting and lovable can also make them frustrating, when taken to extremes. Aries challenge: Their motto is unabashedly 'I, I, Me, Me.' Aries act more selfishly than most other signs. They think of themselves first, promote themselves unabashedly, and do exactly what they want to do. There is a very strong 'me vibe' in Aries that refuses to be silenced. Why should it be? thinks Aries. This is my life, and I want it my way!

Aries are famous for calling only when they want something or talking incessantly about themselves, then having to run when it's your time to talk. They'll seem utterly oblivious to your (or others') needs by taking the biggest piece of pie, stealing your girlfriend just for the sport of it, wearing your favorite sweater to a smoky bar, or risking your long-saved nest egg on a get-rich-quick scheme.

Most Aries don't do such things out of maliciousness; they do it out of self-involvement. Aries' apparent selfishness actually comes from their urge to follow their spirit's vision. (Although admittedly, Aries often follow their ego's visions, which they are learning from experience to differentiate from the spirit's.) Every Aries has a destiny that calls them to separate from the pack from time to time and to go off and do things on their own in a way no one else has done or even agrees with, in order to learn to be true to themselves.

What to do?

Don't expect Aries to spend time figuring out your needs; get in touch with them yourself and then vocalize them—over and over, if you need to, in order to get through. When Aries finally hears that you don't want them stealing the biggest piece of pie or risking your retirement fund on a get-rich-quick scheme, they might initially be hurt or baffled that you're not happily going along with their plan. But if you are persistent enough and clear enough in your boundaries, they may eventually come to respect your point of view. In time, Aries might even get a glimpse at the importance of your needs. When that happens they can turn their attention off of themselves and on to considering you.

Aries challenge: The conquering hero may try to conquer you.

Aries are leaders, and that's that. And they're impatient: they just want others to do what they ask of them—quickly and well. Aries' hero's dominance also makes them bossy: if someone puts another idea, goal, or point of view on the table, Aries will simply use their conquering energy to slay it. 'No, that's not the way—this way,' or 'That's your favorite restaurant? I know one that's so much better!' They're not being critical; they simply think they know a better way and want to get to it as quickly as possible.

Aries' dominance occasionally disrupts the peace, if not sparks an all-out war. Their bluntness, aggressiveness, dismissive attitude, or other traits can make them seem incredibly inconsiderate. In fact, Aries usually don't mean to offend you. Aries aren't all that sensitive, nor are they particularly wired to intuit others' needs.

What to do?

If Aries is trying to dominate you or the way you do things, stand up inside. (If you stand up to them in a challenging way, you might elicit a round of head-butting aggression.) When you are confident in your visions, choices, and preferences, state them to Aries in a clear and secure way. They'll respect you and perhaps even back down.

One big motivating factor in getting an Aries to do anything for anyone, including compromise, is this: they adore making others happy. They love being the hero, pulling off the magic, delivering the goods, and making others smile. If you want something from an Aries, make your request directly and clearly, and let them know how happy it would make you if they complied.

Important point: Although Aries are leaders, they can also follow if they fully trust and respect the one who is leading. Aries yearn to find someone they can trust, relax around, and yield to. If Aries witnesses you being effective and admirable, they will be more than willing to support you in a most heroic way.

Aries challenge: Competitiveness

Aries' competitiveness can surely make sparks fly. They may compete to prove they're as much anything as you are (except a loser or whiner—they want no part of that). If you're smart, Aries is smarter. If you're rich, Aries is richer (or can be). You're good-looking? Sexy? You're no match for Aries, blessed with a high opinion of their looks and sexual prowess.

Aries love to compete—it can thrill and enliven them like nothing else. And they love to win. Aries can get so revved up while competing that they take a win-at-any-cost stance. In their determination to conquer, Aries become blinded to everything else in life and maintain deadly aim on their goal. Can this elicit their tougher, ever nastier side? If need be. Aries wants to take home the trophy. If you're in their way, they'll do what they can to get you out of it. Truly, it's nothing personal.

Envy can also spark Aries' competitiveness. If they see you have something they want, like attention or riches, Aries might yearn to have it for themselves. That's when they rally for the admiration of your spouse, campaign to get your job, or otherwise win what you have.

Aries' competitiveness is often rooted in insecurity. Beneath Aries' bravado, seeming arrogance, and endless acts of risky chutzpah is a deeply vulnerable ego: What if they're not as original, fabulous, or potent as they seem? Does that mean they aren't lovable? If you get a glimpse of Aries' ordinariness, would you take your love away?

What to do?

If you are uncomfortable with competition or just don't like expending your energy that way, you might be able to sidestep Aries' challenges by simply not engaging with them. When Aries recognize that you won't go head-to-head with them, they might lose interest and go on to someone or something that will. Or, they'll compete with you anyway, without your paying attention to it. In a way you should be flattered that Aries sees something in you to respect or admire enough to want for themselves.

Sometimes just letting Aries know you love them and don't need proof of their being the best can help quell competitiveness. But don't count on it. The one person Aries is always trying to convince of being the best is usually themselves.

Aries challenge: They go out of their way to seek validation.

Because Aries require validation, if they don't get it from you, they will go elsewhere to get it. This could lead to their making you jealous by having a good flirt, or seeking admiration from others. They feel entitled to amorous attention because it pumps up their ego and reaffirms the fact that they do, indeed, have sex appeal. Most Aries aren't going to act on their flirting and seductions, they just enjoy making the point they could have someone if they wanted to.

What to do?

Keep lavishing regular attention on Aries and applause them and their heroism regularly. Keep yourself interesting to Aries as well by reminding them how desirable you are and how smart Aries is to choose you. Aries love to be right and love it when you compliment their good choices—especially when you're one of them. Underneath all that bravado is a mushy, loving romantic who needs tenderness and reinforcement to go out the next day and champion more causes.

Aries challenge: They have tempers!

Most Aries have fiery tempers and don't feel any need to hide them. They don't fear arguments but relish them. Aries often feel sharpened and invigorated by the energy of a fight and will go head-on until they've won. Should someone thwart them, without a moment's thought that the other person could be hurt, humiliated, or even feel annihilated, Aries go for the jugular. But once the fight is over, it's over—Aries are refreshed and ready to go do a new project, usually unaware or perplexed that their partner might feel hurt or torn apart. They've let it go—why can't you?

What to do?

Many Aries feel that if a partner won't fight with them, they feel robbed of an exciting energy that stirs other passions. Some Aries use anger and reconciling as a way of establishing intimacy. An element of tension, within themselves or with others, is part of every Aries' passion. Since this tension is energy to an Aries, don't try to fix problems or smooth Aries over with a 'Just let it go.' If Aries creates tension with you, don't take it negatively. They're just trying to shake up the energy a bit. If it's uncomfortable, simply don't take the bait. Let Aries have all the tension they want; you needn't get involved.

What else to do should you see Aries' temper stirring? The worst thing you can say is 'Don't get mad!' That just triggers them. Instead, say something like, 'I can see that you are upset, and I really want to work this out with you but not when you are yelling or acting aggressively.' Then step away and give Aries time to have a tantrum on their own or think things through and cool down. Don't give Aries the impression that their anger is wrong. That frustrates them and can spark more anger from their feeling misunderstood or sidelined. Acknowledge Aries' right to feel anger, but don't enable them. Tell them you don't want to relate to it at the moment. That'll give them a dignified way out.

Apologies also work wonders to melt Aries and their anger into a pool of forgiveness. Hearing you say 'I'm sorry' disarms Aries' warrior's stance and ignites their admiration for your heroism in coming clean for your part in the argument. That makes Aries all the more enthusiastic to be heroic in turn and to apologize and come clean for their part.

Aries challenge: They hate the status quo and love to upset it.

Aries like to stir things up in life and that includes relationships. The status quo is suffocating for them, and their inner drive to keep reaching new heights means that they are restless when their alliances become too predictable or comfortable. Even if things are going well, Aries will cook up something they want to try to make things even better. If that means your sex life is great but they want to try something new, they'll expect you to be game. Or, if they want to move to another city to start a new business, they'll expect you and the kids to pack up!

What to do?

If you feel Aries is pushing you or your life together into changes that you want no part of, it's time to negotiate. Try asking Aries what experience they're really after. Sometimes Aries will realize that they simply want to express a new part of themselves or experience what they've already created in a different way. Then they'll see they don't need to throw life into complete chaos just to satisfy that itch.

Other times Aries' instincts for change are for things that are truly right and expansive for them. Letting Aries know you don't want to hold them back, but need certain criterion for your own satisfaction in order to cooperate, helps them look for ways to meet your needs while meeting their own.

Aries challenge: They act first and think later.

Aries' interests are quickly ignited and so is their urge to follow them. They don't feel the need to research matters, study the details, or ask questions—with their confidence and bravado, they figure they'll learn how to do anything as they go.

Sometimes Aries are right—they have been known to pull off incredible feats with their savvy and instincts. That's thrilling for them, indeed. But other times Aries can get themselves into situations that are way over their heads or suffer incredible losses because they didn't prepare or think things through. They can even seem downright naive and get conned by others' promises or be so moved by someone's sob stories, they'll risk everything trying to be the heroic savior.

Most Aries can recover from these mishaps. They pick themselves up from failures, dust themselves off, and zestfully begin another risky venture, confident that this one will work. Aries' partners might not be so resilient. They may not view losing their houses, alienating their families, or otherwise creating unstable chaos as a 'learning experience.' They can resent or even fear Aries' risk-taking and want to put a stop to it.

What to do?

Since Aries can find practical thinking and advice annoying, if not downright deflating, success is all in the delivery. If you respond to an Aries' seemingly over-the-top-nutty ideas with 'You've got to be kidding! That will never work!' you are only tempting Aries to drive on to prove you wrong.

It works better if you say, 'Love your idea! Now, what are your plans for tackling it?' Then raise the subject that maybe they should learn to sail before they, say, invest in an eighteen-foot yacht to sail around the world. Aries feel hurt when someone doubts them, and that hurt can turn into contempt. Let Aries know you believe in them, even if you're doubting their latest inspirations.


Keeping Up with Aries

• Keep in mind that Aries' first motivation is to discover and satisfy themselves, second is to be your hero.

• Be direct, yet gentle with Aries.

• Give Aries plenty of freedom and room to do things 'their way.'

• When asking for a change of behavior with Aries, don't criticize them or tell them they're wrong. Instead emphasize what they could do more of to make you even happier. And show Aries how they'll benefit, too.

©2007. Phyllis F. Mitz. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Astrology's Secrets to Hot Romance : How to Find True Compatibility and the One Who's Right for You. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.

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