The Austere Academy: Book the Fifth (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

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Overview

As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home Prufrock Preparatory School : they can't help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori or "Remember you will die." This is not a cheerful greeting and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story just as we have come to expect from Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with ...

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A Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy

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Overview

As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home Prufrock Preparatory School : they can't help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori or "Remember you will die." This is not a cheerful greeting and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story just as we have come to expect from Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.

Ages 10+

As their outrageous misfortune continues, the Baudelaire orphans are shipped off to a miserable boarding school, where they befriend the two Quagmire triplets and find that they have been followed by the dreaded Count Olaf.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
For the calamitous Baudelaire orphans, bad luck is the only luck they know. And fortunately for young readers, a mysterious writer named Lemony Snicket is determined to share with everyone just how bad that luck can be. New perils lurk in The Austere Academy, the fifth book in the collection known as A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Since they've already gone through several potential caregivers with disastrous results, Violet, Klaus, and baby Sunny are now being sent to the Prufrock Preparatory School, where they will meet some of the most boring and tedious teachers to be found anywhere. First there's vice principal Nero, whose two loves in life are playing the violin (though he is excruciatingly bad) and mimicking what others say. Klaus's teacher, Mrs. Bass, is fixated on measuring things, while Violet's teacher, Mr. Remora, tells boring stories and then tests his students on the details. Baby Sunny, who is too young for school, is instead put to work as Nero's administrative assistant.

The teachers aren't the only problem. None of the students are very friendly, and the cottage the children are assigned to is infested with toe-pinching crabs and a drippy ceiling fungus. But the Baudelaires do manage to make two new friends: the Quagmire Triplets, fellow orphans who are actually only twins at this point since one of the siblings died. Of course, life for the Baudelaires wouldn't be complete without the devious machinations of Count Olaf, who shows up disguised as a gym teacher. His scheme this time, which involves a rigorous workout called S.O.R.E., is far subtler than his past efforts. And by the time Violet, Klaus, and Sunny figure it out, their newfound friends will be added to Olaf's list of victims.

As in prior books, there are several intriguing references to the narrator's life, including more details regarding the death of Beatrice, to whom each book thus far has been bluntly, but amusingly dedicated. These books are written for kids aged nine and up, but the sly humor leads to some adult fun as well. (Beth Amos)

School Library Journal
Gr 4-7-In this fifth entry in the saga of the three Baudelaire children, the siblings are sent to a boarding school where they are tormented because they are orphans. There is the usual array of stupid/evil adults including the ridiculous Vice Principal Nero, who mimics everything that Klaus and Violet say and employs baby Sunny as his secretary because she is too young to attend class. Brown-nosing brats like Carmelita Spats make the children's lives even more miserable. The ending is a cliff-hanger as the evil Count Olaf, disguised as Coach Genghis, the new gym teacher, drives off with the orphans' only friends. In these days of Harry Potter, this book is a pesky nuisance, with little plot to drive it, situations that fall short of being interesting or off-the-wall, and cardboard characters. The author strains to be eccentric and his constant interruptions in the narrative to define a word or phrase are jarring at best.-Ann Cook, Winter Park Public Library, FL Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780064408639
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 8/28/2000
  • Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events , #5
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 48,274
  • Age range: 8 - 12 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 7.00 (h) x 0.91 (d)

Meet the Author

Lemony Snicket

Lemony Snicket is often despondent, mostly about his published research, which includes A Series of Unfortunate Events and The Composer Is Dead.

Brett Helquist's celebrated art has graced books from the charming Roger, The Jolly Pirate, to the alarming New York Times bestselling A Series of Unfortunate Events, to the cozy E. B. White Read-Aloud Award finalist bedtime for bear. He lives with his family in Brooklyn, New York.

Michael Kupperman has done many illustrations for such publications as Fortune, The New Yorker, and The New York Times. He frequently writes scripts for DC Comics. This is his first book.

Biography

As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end -- and, in the case of Lemony Snicket, all unfortunate things must come to an end, too. After seven years and thirteen episodes, the much beloved A Series of Unfortunate Events books are drawing to a close. At least, that's what Snicket's "handler" Daniel Handler says.

But before getting to what promises to be "the most unfortunate event of all," it is first necessary to familiarize oneself with the mysterious man who created a mega-selling series of children's novels pivoting on the premise of placing young people in peril. According to his autobiography Lemony Snicket: the Unauthorized Autobiography, Snicket "grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. To his horror and dismay, he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant. His trial has been delayed, so he is free to continue researching and recording the tragic tales of the Baudelaire orphans." Hmmm. Perhaps an autobiography purporting that it may or may not be true isn't the best place to begin.

Instead, let us focus on Daniel Handler, the man who might actually be responsible for composing the Series of Unfortunate Events books according to certain skeptics (which include Handler, himself). Daniel Handler has been asked many times why anyone would want to make a career of chronicling the ghastly trials of a trio of ill-fated orphans. "When I was young, my favorite stories were not the sort of children's books that are constantly being thrust at you when you're little," he explained in an audio essay on Barnes & Noble.com. "I didn't like books where people played on a sports team and won a bunch of games, or went to summer camp and had a wonderful time. I really liked a book where a witch might cut a child's head off or a pack of angry dogs might burst through a door and terrorize a family. So, I guess it should not be surprising that when I turned to children's literature I tried to think of all sorts of interesting things to happen to small children, and all of these things were pretty dreadful."

Handler has long made it clear that his wildly popular series would be limited to thirteen installments. The Penultimate Peril: Book the Twelfth finds the much-beleaguered Baudelaire orphans "enjoying" a family vacation at a menacing hotel, and Handler is wrapping up his saga with The End: Book the Thirteenth, which promises to tie up all remaining threads in the story in an undoubtedly exciting manner.

However, the conclusion of his series is no indication that Handler plans on bringing his writing career to an end. He has also written adult-targeted titles under his own name, including his latest, Adverbs: A Novel. This exploration of love, which Publishers Weekly deemed "lovely" and "lilting," may forgo the trademark Lemony Snicket wry morbidity, but Handler ensures readers that the book isn't without its own unfortunate events. "It's a fairly miserable story, as any story about love will be," he says. "People try to find love -- some of them find it, some of them don't, some of them have an unhappy time even if they do find it -- but it is considerably more cheerful than any of my so-called children's books."

Good To Know

Daniel Handler has a potentially embarrassing confession to make: he is an avowed accordion player. Handler says that when he told his parents about his decidedly uncool musical pursuits, they reacted "as if I had taken up heroin."

His interest in music does not end with the accordion. Close friend and leader of indie-rock band The Magnetic Fields Steven Merritt has written an original song for each audio book version of the Series of Unfortunate Events books. Merritt and Handler will be releasing a CD of all 13 "dreadful" songs when the final installment of the series is published in late 2006. Handler also lent his accordion-laying talents to The Magnetic Fields' critically acclaimed album 69 Love Songs.

Handler's persistence may rival that of the never-say-die Baudelaire orphans. His first novel, The Basic Eight, was rejected 37 times before it was finally published.

He enjoys the work of novelist Haruki Murakami so much that Handler devoted an entire essay to the subject in the plainly and guilelessly entitled Village Voice review, "I Love Murakami."

According to a former high school classmate writing in the local paper, Handler was "voted not only Class Clown, but also Best Actor, Chatterbox, and Teacher's Pet."

A few fun facts from our interview with Handler:

"I can cook anything."

"I know one very good card trick."

"I auditioned for an enormous role in the film Gigli."

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    1. Also Known As:
      In some parts, people get to know him through his handler, Daniel Handler.
    2. Hometown:
      Snicket is something of a nomad. Handler lives in San Francisco, California.
    1. Date of Birth:
      February 28, 1970
    2. Place of Birth:
      Handler was born in San Francisco in 1970, and says Snicket's family has roots in a land that's now underwater.
    1. Education:
      Handler is a 1992 graduate of Wesleyan University in Connecticut.
    2. Website:

Read an Excerpt

A Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy

Chapter One

If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn′t give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway. Carmelita Spats was rude, she was violent, and she was filthy, and it is really a shame that I must describe her to you, because there are enough ghastly and distressing things in this story without even mentioning such an unpleasant person.

It is the Baudelaire orphans, thank goodness, who are the heroes of this story, not the dreadful Carmelita Spats, and if you wanted to give a gold medal to Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, it would be for survival in the face of adversity. Adversity is a word which here means "trouble," and there are very few people in this world who have had the sort of troubling adversity that follows these three children wherever they go. Their trouble began one day when they were relaxing at the beach and received the distressing news that their parents had been killed in a terrible fire, and so were sent to live with a distant relative named Count Olaf.

If you were going to give a gold medal to Count Olaf, you would have to lock it up someplace before the awarding ceremony, because Count Olaf was such a greedy and evil man that he would try to steal it beforehand. The Baudelaire orphans did not have a gold medal, but they did have an enormous fortune that their parents had left them, and it was that fortune Count Olaf tried to snatch. The three siblings survived living with Count Olaf, but just barely, and since then Olaf had followed them everywhere, usually accompanied by one or more of his sinister and ugly associates. No matter who was caring for the Baudelaires, Count Olaf was always right behind them, performing such dastardly deeds that I can scarcely list them all: kidnapping, murder, nasty phone calls, disguises, poison, hypnosis, and atrocious cooking are just some of the adversities the Baudelaire orphans survived at his hands. Even worse, Count Olaf had a bad habit of avoiding capture, so he was always sure to turn up again. It is truly awful that this keeps happening, but that is how the story goes.

I only tell you that the story goes this way because you are about to become acquainted with rude, violent, filthy Carmelita Spats, and if you can′t stand reading about her, you had best put this book down and read something else, because it only gets worse from here. Before too long, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire will have so much adversity that being shoved aside by Carmelita Spats will look like a trip to the ice cream store.

"Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!" said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny were too startled to answer. They were standing on a sidewalk made of bricks, which must have been very old because there was a great deal of dark moss oozing out from in between them. Surrounding the sidewalk was a vast brown lawn that looked like it had never been watered, and on the lawn were hundreds of children running in various directions. Occasionally someone would slip and fall to the ground, only to get back up and keep running. It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs, but the Baudelaire orphans barely glanced at the other children, keeping their eyes on the mossy bricks below them.

Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down. This was to be the Baudelaires′ first day at Prufrock Preparatory School, and all three siblings found that they would rather look at the oozing moss than at anything else.

"Have you dropped something?" Mr. Poe asked, coughing into a white handkerchief. One place the Baudelaires certainly didn′t want to look was at Mr. Poe, who was walking closely behind them. Mr. Poe was a banker who had been placed in charge of the Baudelaires′ affairs following the terrible fire, and this had turned out to be a lousy idea. Mr. Poe meant well, but a jar of mustard probably also means well and would do a better job of keeping the Baudelaires out of danger. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny had long ago learned that the only thing they could count on from Mr. Poe was that he was always coughing.

"No," Violet replied, "we haven′t dropped anything." Violet was the oldest Baudelaire, and usually she was not shy at all. Violet liked to invent things, and one could often find her thinking hard about her latest invention, with her hair tied up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes. When her inventions were done, she liked to show them to people she knew, who were usually very impressed with her skill. Right now, as she looked down at the mossy bricks, she thought of a machine she could build that could keep moss from growing on the sidewalk, but she felt too nervous to talk about it. What if none of the teachers, children, or administrative staff were interested in her inventions?

As if he were reading her thoughts, Klaus put a hand on Violet′s shoulder, and she smiled at him. Klaus had known for all twelve of his years that his older sister found a hand on her shoulder comforting′as long as the hand was attached to an arm, of course. Normally Klaus would have said something comforting as well, but he was feeling as shy as his sister. Most of the time, Klaus could be found doing what he liked to do best, which was reading.

Copyright C 2000 Lemony Snicket

A Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy. Copyright © by Lemony Snicket. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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Table of Contents

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First Chapter

Chapter One

If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would rip it from your hands anyway. Carmelita Spats was rude, she was violent, and she was filthy, and it is really a shame that I must describe her to you, because there are enough ghastly and distressing things in this story without even mentioning such an unpleasant person.

It is the Baudelaire orphans, thank goodness, who are the heroes of this story, not the dreadful Carmelita Spats, and if you wanted to give a gold medal to Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire, it would be for survival in the face of adversity. Adversity is a word which here means "trouble," and there are very few people in this world who have had the sort of troubling adversity that follows these three children wherever they go. Their trouble began one day when they were relaxing at the beach and received the distressing news that their parents had been killed in a terrible fire, and so were sent to live with a distant relative named Count Olaf.

If you were to give a gold medal to Count Olaf, you would have to lock it up someplace before the awarding ceremony, because Count Olaf is such a greedy and evil man that he would try to steal it beforehand. The Baudelaire orphans did not have a gold medal, but they did have an enormous fortune that their parents had left them, and it was that fortune Count Olaf tried to snatch. The three siblings survived living with Count Olaf, but just barely, and since then Count Olaf has followed them everywhere, usually accompanied by one or more of his sinister and ugly associates. No matter who was caring for the Baudelaires, Count Olaf was always right behind them, performing such dastardly deeds that I can scarcely list them all: kidnapping, murder, nasty phone calls, disguises, poison, hypnosis, and atrocious cooking are just some of the adversities the Baudelaire orphans survived at his hands. Even worse, Count Olaf had a bad habit of avoiding capture, so he was always sure to turn up again. It is truly awful that this keeps happening, but that is how the story goes.

I only tell you that the story goes this way because you are about to become acquainted with rude, filthy Carmelita Spats, and if you can't stand reading about her, you had better put this book down and read something else, because it only gets worse from here. Before too long, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire will have so much adversity that being shoved aside by Carmelita Spats will look like a trip to the ice cream store.

"Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!" said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Baudelaire orphans aside as she dashed by. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny were too startled to answer. They were standing on a sidewalk made of bricks, which must have been very old because there was a great deal of dark moss oozing out from in between them. Surrounding the sidewalk was a vast brown lawn that looked like it had never been watered, and on the lawn were hundreds of children running in various directions. It looked exhausting and pointless, two things that should be avoided at all costs, but the Baudelaire orphans barely glanced at the other children, keeping their eyes on the mossy bricks below them.

Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down. This was to be the Baudelaires first day at Prufrock Preparatory School, and all three siblings found they would rather look at the oozing moss than at anything else.

"Have you dropped something?" Mr. Poe asked, coughing into a white handkerchief. One place the Baudelaires certainly didn't want to look was at Mr. Poe, who was walking closely behind them. Mr. Poe was a banker who had been placed in charge of the Baudelaires' affairs following the terrible fire, and this had turned out to be a lousy idea. Mr. Poe meant well, but a jar of mustard probably means well and would do a better job of keeping the Baudelaires out of danger. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny had learned long ago that the only thing they could count on from Mr. Poe was that he was always coughing.

"No," Violet replied, "we haven't dropped anything." Violet was the oldest Baudelaire, and usually she was not shy at all. Violet liked to invent things, and one could often find her thinking hard about her latest invention, with her hair tied in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes. When her inventions were done, she liked to show them to people she knew, who were usually very impressed with her skill. Right now, as she looked at the mossy bricks, she thought of a machine she could build that could keep moss from growing on the sidewalk but she felt too nervous to talk about it. What if none of the teachers, children, or administrative staff were interested in her inventions?

As if he were reading her thoughts, Klaus put a hand on Violet's shoulder, and she smiled at him. Klaus had known for all twelve of his years that his older sister found a hand on her shoulder comforting -- as long as the hand was attached to an arm, of course. Normally Klaus would have said something comforting as well, but he was feeling as shy as his sister. Most of the time, Klaus could be found doing what he liked to do best, which was reading. Some mornings one could find him in bed with his glasses on because he had been reading so late that he was too tired to take them off. Klaus looked down at the sidewalk and remembered a book he had read called Moss Mysteries, but he felt too shy to bring it up. What if Prufrock Preparatory School had nothing good to read?

Sunny, the youngest Baudelaire, looked up at her siblings, and Violet smiled and picked her up. This was easy to do because Sunny was a baby and only a little bit larger than a loaf of bread. Sunny was also too nervous to say anything, although it was often difficult to understand what she said when she did speak up. For instance, if Sunny had not been feeling so shy, she might have opened her mouth and said "Marimo!" which may have meant "I hope there are plenty of things to bite at school, because biting things is one of my favorite things to do!"

"I know why you're all so quiet," Mr. Poe said. "It's because you're excited, and I don't blame you. I always wanted to go to boarding school when I was younger but I never had the chance. I'm a little jealous of you, if you want to know the truth."

The Baudelaires looked at one another. The fact that Prufrock Preparatory School was a boarding school was the part that made them feel the most nervous. If no one was interested in inventions, or there was nothing to read, or biting wasn't allowed, they were stuck there, not only all day but all night as well. The siblings wished that if Mr. Poe were really jealous of them he would attend Prufrock Preparatory School himself, and they could work at the bank.

"You're very lucky to be here," Mr. Poe continued. "I had to call more than four schools before I found one that could take all three of you at such short notice. Prufrock Prep -- that's what they call it, as a sort of nickname -- is a very fine academy. The teachers all have advanced degrees. The dormitory rooms are all finely furnished. And most important of all, there is an advanced computer system which will keep Count Olaf away from you. Vice Principal Nero told me that Count Olaf's complete description -- everything from his one long eyebrow to the tattoo of an eye on his left ankle -- has been programmed into the computer, so you should be safe here for the next several years."

"But how can a computer keep Count Olaf away?" Violet asked in a puzzled voice, still looking down at the ground.

"It's an advanced computer," Mr. Poe said, as if the word "advanced" were a proper explanation instead of a word meaning "having attained advancement." "Don't worry your little heads about Count Olaf. Vice Principal Nero has promised me that he will keep a close eye on you. After all, a school as advanced as Prufrock Prep wouldn't allow people to simply run around loose."

"Move, cakesniffers!" the rude, violent, and filthy little girl said as she dashed by them again.

"What does 'cakesniffers' mean?" Violet murmured to Klaus, who had an enormous vocabulary from all his reading.

"I don't know," Klaus admitted, "but it doesn't sound very nice."

"What a charming word that is," Mr. Poe said. "Cakesniffers. I don't know what it means, but it reminds me of pastry. Oh well, here we are." They had come to the end of the mossy brick sidewalk and stood in front of the school. The Baudelaires looked up at their new home and gasped in surprise. Had they not been staring at the sidewalk the whole way across the lawn, they would have seen what the academy looked like, but perhaps it was best to delay looking at it for as long as possible. A person who designs buildings is called an architect, but in the case of Prufrock Prep a better term might be "depressed architect." The school was made up of several buildings, all made of smooth gray stone, and the buildings were grouped together in a sort of sloppy line. To get to the buildings, the Baudelaires had to walk beneath an immense stone arch casting a curved shadow on the lawn, like a rainbow in which all the colors were gray or black. On the arch were the words "PRUFROCK PREPARATORY SCHOOL" in enormous black letters, and then, in smaller letters, the motto of the school, "Memento Mori." But it was not the buildings or the arch that made the children gasp, it was how the buildings were shaped -- rectangular with a rounded top is a strange shape, and the children could only think of one thing with that shape. To the Baudelaires each building looked exactly like a gravestone.

"Rather odd architecture," Mr. Poe commented. "Each building looks like a thumb. In any case, you are to report to Vice Principal Nero's office immediately. It's on the ninth floor of the main building."

"Aren't you coming with us, Mr. Poe?" Violet asked. Violet was fourteen, and she knew that fourteen was old enough to go to somebody's office by herself, but she felt nervous about walking into such a sinister-looking building without an adult nearby.

Mr. Poe coughed into his handkerchief and looked at his wristwatch at the same time. "I'm afraid not," he said when his coughing had passed. "The banking day has already begun. But I've talked over everything with Vice Principal Nero, and if there's any problem, remember you can always contact me or any of my associates at Mulctuary Money Management. Now, off you go. Have a wonderful time at Prufrock Prep."

"I'm sure we will," said Violet, sounding much braver than she felt. "Thank you for everything, Mr. Poe."

"Yes, thank you," Klaus said, shaking the banker's hand.

"Terfunt," Sunny said, which was her way of saying, "thank you."

"You're welcome, all of you," Mr. Poe said. "So long." He nodded at all three Baudelaires and Violet and Sunny watched him walk back down the mossy sidewalk, carefully avoiding the running children. But Klaus didn't watch him. Klaus was looking at the enormous arch over the academy.

"Maybe I don't know what 'cakesniffer' means," Klaus said, "but I think I can translate our new school's motto."

"It doesn't even look like it's in English," Violet said, peering up at it.

"Racho," Sunny agreed.

"It's not," Klaus said. "It's in Latin. Many mottoes are in Latin, for some reason. I don't know very much Latin, but I do remember reading this phrase in a book about the Middle Ages. If it means what I think it means, it's certainly a strange motto."

"What do you think it means?" Violet asked.

"If I'm not mistaken," said Klaus, who was rarely mistaken, "Memento Mori means 'Remember you will die.' "

"Remember you will die," Violet repeated quietly, and the three siblings stepped closer to one another, as if they were very cold. Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is not looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact. The children certainly did not want to remember that they would die, particularly as they walked beneath the arch over Prufrock Prep. The Baudelaire orphans did not need to be reminded of this as they began their first day in the giant graveyard that was now their home.

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  • Posted April 17, 2009

    The Austere Academy

    Unfortunately for the Baudelaire orphans, bad luck is the only luck they know. Unlike the Baudelaire orphans, we are lucky enough to have a mysterious writer named Lemony Snicket share with everyone just how bad that luck can get. New troubles are waiting for the orphans in The Austere Academy, the fifth book in the collection known as The Series of Unfortunate Events. This book is a one of my favorites because of all of the riveting adventures the orphans face. If you are looking for a book spending a lovely time at boarding school, I would suggest putting the back on the shelf and look elsewhere.

    Seeing as how they've already gone through several foster homes with calamitous results, Violet, Klaus, and the baby, Sunny, are being sent to Prufrock Preparatory school. There they meet some of ho-hum teachers that can be found anywhere. Let's start with Vice Principal Nero, who loves playing the violin (even though he is horribly bad) and imitating what others say. Next we'll talk about Mrs. Bass, Klaus's teacher. She is obsessed on measuring things, unlike violet's teacher, Mr. Remora, who tells irksome stories then tests his class on the details. Since Sunny is too young for school, Vice Principal Nero appointed her as his administrative assistant.

    I recommend this book for children of the ages 12+. When I started reading the series, I was at the age of 12 and I couldn't stop reading them. Each book leaves you seeking what will happen next and earning for more adventure.

    In this book, teachers aren't the only problem. None of the students were very welcoming. The Baudelaire orphans were sent to a toe-pinching crab and dripping ceiling fungus infested cottage. The Baudelaires manage to make two new friends: the Quagmire Triplets, fellow orphans, except there were only two of them because one of the siblings died. Of course the Baudelaire's life wouldn't be complete without the shifty Count Olaf, who is always trying to get the Baudelaire fortune.


    When I started reading this book, I was lost in the book's thrilling plot. Then I started to see foreshadowing through out it. This became very suspenseful and I earned for more. I enjoyed reading the books throughout the series, but this one is by far my favorite.

    I really loved this book from cover to cover. Some of my favorite things about this book are the Quagmire twins and how they all of a sudden were gone. When the brilliant Baudelaire children figured out Count Olaf's scheme to get the Baudelaire fortune, I was relieved that everything went okay with the twins. I also liked how witty the children were.

    I really loved this book. If I was a critic, I would give this book five stars in a heartbeat and two thumbs up.

    11 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 14, 2012

    LUV THE SERIES

    I just love this whole series and i here there is a fourteenth book coming out!

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 10, 2012

    The bauldiers rule

    This book is so intresting but count olaf is creepy he every where and i want to find out what V.F.D mean.

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 3, 2012

    Jeb Bennett

    I love the series.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 10, 2012

    Great book

    Need to read the series

    2 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 25, 2011

    Love my favorite series Love

    My favorite series

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 19, 2011

    Lemony Snicket Rocks

    Luv the books

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 2, 2011

    amazing

    amazing series! i read all of the books an loved them. lemony snicket is a great author! of course, the book had to end sadly. great book

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 7, 2006

    The Book was Good.

    Klaus, Violet, and Sunny are going to a boarding school. Nero, the principal is always mimicking the children to make them annoyed. The new girl, Carmelita Spatts is always telling the Baudelaire children what to do and calls them names. They try to figure out why Count Olaf is wearing a turban to be like their gym teacher.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 6, 2013

    Very good book!

    If you are looking for a mysterious, unpredictable ,page turning book, then this is your book! I personally was a big fan of this book. I read the whole thing in about 2 hours! This is actually my second time reading this series, I read it back a couple years ago. Anyways, even though it is a little sad I stil think it is a must-read! Enjoy!(:

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 2, 2013

    Yay i lovethis book

    Besr book ive ever read man GO CAKE SNIFFERS

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 17, 2012

    Asome books

    Lemony Snicket is the best ever
    Awsome cool fun

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2012

    Best ever

    I love this book;)

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 6, 2011

    Good!!

    Really good series i reccomend it but read 1-4 first

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 27, 2006

    Another great book by Lemony Snicket. Read it now!!!

    There is so much excitement and action in this book that I never wanted to put it down. In the Austere Academy, written by Lemony Snicket, three young siblings, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, join Prufrock Preparatory School. They are on a jouney to being able to find out that they are going to be facing snapping crabs, dripping fungi, horrible violin recitals, S.O.R.E, very strict punishments, and most of all, Count Olaf's ridiculous plan. While the three siblings are attending Prufrock Preparatory School they will meet two of the three triplets, Duncan and Isadora, who become their friends and now find out about Olaf's plan. But will Duncan and Isadora help save them from Olaf? Are they willing to put their lives in jeopardy to save their friends? Do you want to know what S.O.R.E. means? Find out the answers to these questions by reading this wonderful and suspenseful book!! I liked how this book kept my attention and I recommend it to anyone over the age of ten.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2005

    I want a hot dog with... o hello ill review this book for ya ^-^

    I really liked this book beacause of the shack, the odd motto, the mean people at school,the twins, the mean princapl Nero, count olaf with S.O.R.E., and olaf getting away with the twins and it leaves you in suspense when one of the twins says something (cant remeber but leaves you in suspense^-^)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 8, 2014

    Awesome

    These books are always so good!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 28, 2014

    I read

    I raesgejdhehjhdhehhdwgeydhdhegddjxvdjwjwhdhd3*3*$-

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 25, 2014

    Awesome

    This is one of my favorite of the series. I love the end it creates so much suspense. I recomend anyone to read this.

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  • Posted January 1, 2014

    more from this reviewer

    Looks like the siblings make some friends and more enemies it se

    Looks like the siblings make some friends and more enemies it seems. This series is good but weird.

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