Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: Growing Affair-Proof Hedges around Your Marriage

Overview

“Hello, my name is Nancy, and I am a cheater. I’ve never cheated on a tax return or a final exam, but I did cheat on my husband. That’s why I’m an expert on infidelity—because I have lived it.”

—from the Introduction

Aided by the secrecy of the Internet and cell phones, extra-marital affairs are on the rise—and Christian couples aren’t exempt. While cheating on one’s spouse may still be socially unacceptable, it is more prevalent now than ever ...

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Overview

“Hello, my name is Nancy, and I am a cheater. I’ve never cheated on a tax return or a final exam, but I did cheat on my husband. That’s why I’m an expert on infidelity—because I have lived it.”

—from the Introduction

Aided by the secrecy of the Internet and cell phones, extra-marital affairs are on the rise—and Christian couples aren’t exempt. While cheating on one’s spouse may still be socially unacceptable, it is more prevalent now than ever before.

From a woman who strayed to the other side of the marital fence—and returned to find forgiveness and restoration—comes this practical book about predicting and preventing an extra-marital affair. Based on the principle that the grass is always greener where it’s watered, this book focuses on how to grow a beautiful marriage in your own backyard by establishing six protective “hedges” around it.

“[Nancy] has a delightful way of teaching without preaching. A must read for every Christian couple!"

Allison Gappa Bottke
Author, speaker, and founder of The God Allows U-Turns Project

Nancy C. Anderson and her husband, Ron, recently celebrated their twenty-sixth wedding anniversary. Together they conduct couples’ retreats and marriage seminars to help others to predict, prevent, or pardon infidelity. Nancy is a contributing author to several books and the co-author of a variety of dramatic sketches.

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Editorial Reviews

Author's Choice Book Review
This is nothing like most 'how to' books on the subject. This is a hands-on, I've been there, done that approach and it doesn't work book from a couple who faced infidelity and the desire for divorce. Only they chose the more difficult path. They chose the path of commitment, forgiveness and the hard work of rebuilding what they'd lost.
— Carolyn R. Scheidies
Church Libraries
This book is wisdom born of tragic, but genuine, experience. Because Anderson nearly ruined her marriage due to infidelity, she truly knows the misery a fling can cause. Her honesty, vulnerability, and repentance provide marital lessons guaranteed to strengthen couples who are susceptible to the lure of an affair. Anderson now married more than 25 years, uses situations from her parents' marriage, her own marriage, and the marriages of couples she and her husband counsel in their ministry as examples of good and bad habits of marital life. She focuses on post marital dating, listening, encouraging, confessing, and satisfying. At the end of each chapter are questions and projects that will help couples grow closer. This book has many anecdotes, Bible verses, and interviews that make it contemporary, realistic, and reader friendly.
— DEH
Biblical Ministries Worldwide
Perhaps the most helpful thing about this practical book is the list of things to think about at the close of each chapter along with a list of things to do. All marriages need constant evaluation and action to infuse energy and avoid boredom. These lists are easily the greatest benefits of the book. Forged these in the crucible of the author's personal experience, these lists provide practical help for fellow strugglers.
— Jim Brown
Christian Activities
Nancy Anderson's book 'Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-proof Hedges Around Your Marriage' is absolutely wonderful. With courage, Anderson tells of the journey that sent her on a wayward path to infidelity that nearly ended her marriage. More than a book on infidelity, Anderson describes how to plant, water, trim, and keep the rodents out by planting hedges around one's marriage. She explains the importance of communication and offers tips on that subject. Spending time with your spouse is crucial, so Anderson includes ideas for dating. She educates on differences in personalities, interests, and needs, and then ends with ways to keep each other satisfied. I want to tell couples that if they water their own marriages, they can grow a beautiful, healthy, green relationship in their own backyard.
— Cindy O'Holloran
Book Review
Anderson's book offers strategies for communicating, dating, and building hedges to protect your relationship as critical elements to preserving a marriage. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome is an excellent guide for preventing adultery and preserving marriage.
— Claudette Robertson
Church Libraries - DEH
"This book is wisdom born of tragic, but genuine, experience. Because Anderson nearly ruined her marriage due to infidelity, she truly knows the misery a fling can cause. Her honesty, vulnerability, and repentance provide marital lessons guaranteed to strengthen couples who are susceptible to the lure of an affair. Anderson now married more than 25 years, uses situations from her parents' marriage, her own marriage, and the marriages of couples she and her husband counsel in their ministry as examples of good and bad habits of marital life. She focuses on post marital dating, listening, encouraging, confessing, and satisfying. At the end of each chapter are questions and projects that will help couples grow closer. This book has many anecdotes, Bible verses, and interviews that make it contemporary, realistic, and reader friendly."
Biblical Ministries Worldwide - Jim Brown
"Perhaps the most helpful thing about this practical book is the list of things to think about at the close of each chapter along with a list of things to do. All marriages need constant evaluation and action to infuse energy and avoid boredom. These lists are easily the greatest benefits of the book. Forged these in the crucible of the author's personal experience, these lists provide practical help for fellow strugglers."
Christian Activities - Cindy O'Holloran
"Nancy Anderson's book 'Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-proof Hedges Around Your Marriage' is absolutely wonderful. With courage, Anderson tells of the journey that sent her on a wayward path to infidelity that nearly ended her marriage. More than a book on infidelity, Anderson describes how to plant, water, trim, and keep the rodents out by planting hedges around one's marriage. She explains the importance of communication and offers tips on that subject. Spending time with your spouse is crucial, so Anderson includes ideas for dating. She educates on differences in personalities, interests, and needs, and then ends with ways to keep each other satisfied. I want to tell couples that if they water their own marriages, they can grow a beautiful, healthy, green relationship in their own backyard."
Book Review - Claudette Robertson
"Anderson's book offers strategies for communicating, dating, and building hedges to protect your relationship as critical elements to preserving a marriage. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome is an excellent guide for preventing adultery and preserving marriage."
Author's Choice Book Review - Carolyn R. Scheidies
This is nothing like most 'how to' books on the subject. This is a hands-on, I've been there, done that approach and it doesn't work book from a couple who faced infidelity and the desire for divorce. Only they chose the more difficult path. They chose the path of commitment, forgiveness and the hard work of rebuilding what they'd lost.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780825420139
  • Publisher: Kregel Publications
  • Publication date: 12/28/2004
  • Pages: 124
  • Sales rank: 1,099,096
  • Product dimensions: 5.52 (w) x 8.48 (h) x 0.30 (d)

Meet the Author

Nancy C. Anderson and her husband, Ron, are preparing to celebrate their twenty-eighth wedding anniversary. Together they conduct retreats and marriage seminars to help couples predict, prevent, or pardon infidelity. Nancy is a contributing author to several books and the coauthor of a variety of dramatic sketches.
Read More Show Less

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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 29, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    A reviewer

    Here is what the acronym HEDGES stands for... Hearing Encouraging Dating Guarding Educating Satisfyin g The author uses these topics as an outline for her tips on how to keep your marriage healthy so your spouse doesn't stray. Even for couples who are doing well, there are invaluable tips in this book. Some of them may seem obvious, but at the same time it's amazing how the absence of those things in marriage make Christian couples vulnerable to straying. I've known many people in this situation over the years and the practical advice the author gives would do wonders for most relationships if applied. The vignettes the author uses are illustrations from her own life experience. She uses them to bring the point she is trying to make to the forefront. Each section ends with highlights from the chapter and practical things to apply, plus some questions to consider about your marital relationship. This book would make a great tool for a couples Bible study or self-help support group. I highly recommend this resource to every married couple. I found it incredibly interesting, well-written, and not complex or overly-wordy. In fact, I read it in just a few hours.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 17, 2004

    This is important for every marriage

    Nancy Anderson¿s book is so significant. With humor, stories and truth, she tells the secrets for protecting a marriage and making it great. I just know this book is going to help so many couples, even those who are struggling deeply. Read this book! You¿ll not only enjoy it, your marriage will grow stronger.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 20, 2004

    A book that will save many marriages!

    Nancy A.'s book on the 'greener grass syndrome' in marriage is marvelous. In just 121 pages, Nancy not only shares her own gripping tug-of-war experience propelling her to the brink of divorce, but she also provides tools for affair-proofing marriages. The book testifies of God's ability to bring beauty out of ashes in marriage. It also exposes the illusions of extra-marital infatuation and the trap of anticipating/seeking greener pastures. It is a must read for protecting marriags and reversing wheels spinning toward divorce!

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