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Posted June 10, 2004
Stagner does not claim that her book for middle-aged singles from divorce, death of spouse, or preferred lifestyle contains advice. Hesitating to use the word 'advice,' she points out her 'goal is to share the knowledge I gained through research and personal experience.' However the author wants to label the material of her book, it is plainly relevant, helpful, sympathetic, and encouraging to her intended audience. Stagner's tone is like that of a longtime close friend. The reader effortlessly, aturally takes in Stagner's observations and suggestions because the reader trusts what the author says and understands she has the reader's interests at heart. The author's recurring good-natured humor plays a large part in establishing this relationship between author and reader. Proper attitude, exercise, where and how to meet desirable partners, exploratory first moves, and the fears, needs, and yearnings of the middle-aged are among the wealth of subjects Stagner deals with. The Internet is recommended as a useful resource for meeting prospective partners and getting information and feedback on issues of concern from one's peers. Stagner does not gloss over the problems and disappointments facing middle-agers looking for compatible, satisfying companions. She deals with her own experiences of these with humor and a eye on lessons learned. But overall, as she encourages readers, with the right desire, perseverance, and the counsel she imparts, one can reach one's aims in the middle-age dating and romance pursuit. The title should not be taken to mean that the book is for Baby-Boomer women only; for middle-aged men would profit from it as much as women. Stagner is also the author of a fitness book and two novels which many readers of this work of hers will want to have a look at. Henry Berry, book reviewer
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This book starts out with an interesting subtitle-"How to Have Sex at Least Once More Before You Die." Pretty funny, considering its targeting baby boomers. The author definitely has a sense of humor, further confirmed in the author profile. She states that she "plans to date until she's 100, or until there are no men left on earth who will go out with her." I like her attitude! The Table of Contents is detailed and comprehensive, and the content starts with a true, amusing short story about the author's dating experiences. I knew I was going to like this book from the beginning, because I was captivated immediately by the humor. The author believes that life is just beginning at 40 or 50, not ending, as many people think. She gives us baby boomers a blue print to make the second half of our lives more exciting and fulfilling than the first. She tells us to ask ourselves "What Would It Take to Make Me Happy?" She gives five answers to this question then uses the balance of the book to show the reader how to accomplish each and every one. She not only wants us to look good, she wants us to feel good. That begins by taking responsibility for our own health. One fact she pointed out, that I did not know, was that older women actually choose not to remarry. I had always thought it was because there were a scarcity of men, but apparently it's a personal choice.
Baby boomers are encouraged to exercise regularly, particularly lifting weights to benefit bones and joints, and not to dress like grandmas ("No Blue Bubbles"). We'll know when we are the right size when we feel good about how we look. She bursts the myth that women should date men their own age or older. The author wants us to date men who are ten years younger than us. Sounds good to me! She reminds us that everybody who has lived to be our age carries some baggage, so people in personal ads who say they don't are either lying or self-delusional. My favorite story in the book was the section where the author told about her friend who met her boyfriend over a corpse. They were both taking the same cadaver class where people pay to dissect a body. Talk about the ultimate "cute meet"! She tells us how to be safe when we begin to meet online dates, which is very important, and a section that should be read and followed carefully. Detailed information about writing profiles and responses to other's profiles make up a good part of the book. When we finally meet them for the first time, she calls it a "Hit and Run," because we aren't going to linger long. Next comes dating advice and a great section on middle-age sex, which can be quite different from youth-oriented sex advice. Finally, she discusses the advantages and disadvantages of marriage for the baby boomer.
The book is written within the framework of a TV production, inspired by the television show "The Bachelorette," in which the reader becomes the star, and takes our star through until the end of the series. She says that we all know the series is over when the couple get together. This book is light-hearted and serious, funny and informative, just the thing for the baby boomer who is "reentering the scary world of over-forty dating." The only drawback I can find is that it is somewhat repetitive of other online dating books. Otherwise, I would highly recommend it, whether you are a male or a female baby boomer.