Baby's First Tattoo: A Memory Book for Modern Parents

( 6 )

Pick Up in Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Hardcover
$10.59
BN.com price
$12.95 List Price (Save 18%)
Marketplace (New and Used)
from
$0.01
$12.95 List Price (Save 100%)
All (57)  
Used (41)  
New (16)  
Close
Sort by
Page 1 of 6
Showing 1 – 10 of 57 (6 pages)
$0.01
(Save 100%)
Seller since 2006

Feedback rating:

(50880)

Condition:

New — never opened or used in original packaging.

Like New — packaging may have been opened. A "Like New" item is suitable to give as a gift.

Very Good — may have minor signs of wear on packaging but item works perfectly and has no damage.

Good — item is in good condition but packaging may have signs of shelf wear/aging or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Acceptable — item is in working order but may show signs of wear such as scratches or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Used — An item that has been opened and may show signs of wear. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Refurbished — A used item that has been renewed or updated and verified to be in proper working condition. Not necessarily completed by the original manufacturer.

Good
Shows some signs of wear, and may have some markings on the inside. 100% Money Back Guarantee. Shipped to over one million happy customers. Your purchase benefits world literacy!

Ships from: Mishawaka, IN

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$0.79
(Save 94%)
Seller since 2008

Feedback rating:

(13615)

Condition: Good
Good condition. Gifter's inscription inside. Text pages clean. Issued without dust jacket.

Ships from: Frederick, MD

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$0.99
(Save 92%)
Seller since 2007

Feedback rating:

(11914)

Condition: Very Good
2002 Hardcover Item is in very good condition.

Ships from: Wilmington, MA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$1.78
(Save 86%)
Seller since 2008

Feedback rating:

(13615)

Condition: Very Good
Very Good condition. Issued without dust jacket.

Ships from: Frederick, MD

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 85%)
Seller since 2010

Feedback rating:

(3285)

Condition: Very Good

Ships from: Lakewood, WA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 85%)
Seller since 2010

Feedback rating:

(3285)

Condition: Good

Ships from: Lakewood, WA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 85%)
Seller since 2009

Feedback rating:

(8060)

Condition: Very Good
Light wear to edges and pages. Cover and spine show no easily noticeable damage. A tradition of southern quality and service. All books guaranteed at the Atlanta Book Company. ... Our mailers are 100% recyclable. Read more Show Less

Ships from: Atlanta, GA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 85%)
Seller since 2008

Feedback rating:

(2244)

Condition: Good
GOOD with average wear to cover, pages and binding. We ship quickly and work hard to earn your confidence. Orders are generally shipped no later than next business day. We offer a ... no hassle guarantee on all our items. Read more Show Less

Ships from: Tualatin, OR

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 85%)
Seller since 2009

Feedback rating:

(8060)

Condition: Good
Book shows minor use. Cover and Binding have minimal wear and the pages have only minimal creases. A tradition of southern quality and service. All books guaranteed at the ... Atlanta Book Company. Our mailers are 100% recyclable. Read more Show Less

Ships from: Atlanta, GA

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 85%)
Seller since 2008

Feedback rating:

(2244)

Condition: Acceptable
NOTE: Book is actually in Good condition, except it has no dust jacket. This is the only reason why the condition is listed as 'acceptable' and not 'Good'.

Ships from: Tualatin, OR

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • Canadian
  • International
  • Standard, 48 States
  • Standard (AK, HI)
  • Express, 48 States
  • Express (AK, HI)
Page 1 of 6
Showing 1 – 10 of 57 (6 pages)
Close
Sort by

Overview

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THINK CHILDREN ARE THE CUTEST,

CUDDLIEST, MOST WONDERFUL, SAINTLY CREATURES

IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

THESE PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

THEY HAVE NICE THINGS. THEY COLLECT FRAGILE POTTERY. THEY HAVE CANDLELIT DINNERS IN FANCY RESTAURANTS. THEY GO TO MOVIES. THEY HAVE WHITE CARPETS.

PEOPLE WITH SMALL CHILDREN HAVEN'T BEEN TO A ...

See more details below
Sending request ...

Overview

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THINK CHILDREN ARE THE CUTEST,

CUDDLIEST, MOST WONDERFUL, SAINTLY CREATURES

IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

THESE PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN.

THEY HAVE NICE THINGS. THEY COLLECT FRAGILE POTTERY. THEY HAVE CANDLELIT DINNERS IN FANCY RESTAURANTS. THEY GO TO MOVIES. THEY HAVE WHITE CARPETS.

PEOPLE WITH SMALL CHILDREN HAVEN'T BEEN TO A RESTAURANT WITHOUT

PLASTIC SILVERWARE IN YEARS. THE LAST MOVIE THEY SAW IN A THEATER IS NOW

ON AMERICAN MOVIE CLASSICS. THEIR HOUSE LOOKS LIKE IT WAS

DECORATED BY PEE-WEE HERMAN.

BABY'S FIRST TATTOO IS FOR THEM.


For years parents have been buying baby books to document all the precious moments in their new baby's life — Baby's First Tooth, Baby's First Haircut, Baby's First Step. What have been ignored for too long are those "alternative" precious moments that really should be written down, celebrated, and remembered — Baby's First Projectile Vomit, Baby's First Tantrum in a Crowded Grocery Store, Baby's 10,000th Dirty Diaper. Otherwise you might forget them and think of becoming parents once again.

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
Jim Mullen thinks that the world has its fill of parent memory books that offer slots for baby's first word and first burp and first brilliant discovery. Believing that moms and dads want more than the gooey highlights of their toddler's daily routine, Mullen has prepared an alternative scrapbook for true 21st-century parents. Baby's First Tattoo includes lists that every caregiver can relate to, such as: "Restaurants We Never Go to Anymore"; "First Irreplaceable Heirloom You Broke"; and, of course, "Oscar-Winning Movies We've Never Seen."

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780743224451
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster
  • Publication date: 4/28/2002
  • Pages: 80
  • Sales rank: 180,262
  • Product dimensions: 6.40 (w) x 7.70 (h) x 0.40 (d)

Meet the Author

Jim Mullen has seven brothers and sisters and sixteen nieces and nephews. When not in therapy, he writes the "Hot Sheet" column for Entertainment Weekly and is the author of It Takes a Village Idiot, a memoir of moving from Manhattan to a small town in the Catskills.

Barry Blitt's illustrations have appeared on the cover of the New Yorker and have also graced the pages of the Chicago Tribune, the New York Times, and Entertainment Weekly. He is the illustrator of Once Upon a Time, the End (Asleep in 60 Seconds) by Geoffrey Kloske and The Adventures of Mark Twain by Huckleberry Finn by Robert Burleigh, as well as other picture books. He lives in Riverside, Connecticut.

Read an Excerpt

Baby's First Tattoo

A Memory Book for Modern Parents
By Jim Mullen

Simon & Schuster

Copyright © 2002 Jim Mullen
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0743224450

Introduction

There are two kinds of babies in the world: the cute, cuddly, cherubic bundles of joy and the real ones. This book is for parents who are thinking of having, who are near having, or who have recently had a real baby. Even if you want the other kind, chances are that you will get a real, crying, screaming, nerve-shredding baby instead.

While most books marking your baby's milestones concentrate on minor events like Baby's First Word, and Baby's First Tooth, Baby's First Tattoo lets you relive the unforgettable moments in your baby's life that are too often ignored: Baby's First Tantrum in a Crowded Grocery Store, Baby's First Dirt-Eating, Baby's First Test of Wills.

Unlike the old-fashioned baby books you will find in your parents' attic, this book is meant to be filled out beyond page four, and will also give you a timely warning as to what new hell you can expect from your child next. Will today be the day you make two visits to the emergency room or just your First Panic Call to Poison Control?

People often say to me, "If babies are such a bother and a burden, why do people keep having them?" And I say, "Because they have poor memories." To which they say, "What were we just talking about?"

The other reason is that parents, quite naturally, like to brag about their children. They play up the good things and avoid the bad. You will always hear about Billy's first step. You will rarely hear about Billy's first day in juvenile court, even if you were one of his victims. You will most definitely hear about Betty's first haircut, yet the day she bit the neighbor kid so hard he needed stitches in his hand is somehow glossed over. Baby's First Tattoo presents life with a new child the way it really is, not the way it should be.

Text copyright © 2002 by Jim Mullen



Continues...


Excerpted from Baby's First Tattoo by Jim Mullen Copyright © 2002 by Jim Mullen. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Introduction

Introduction

There are two kinds of babies in the world: the cute, cuddly, cherubic bundles of joy and the real ones. This book is for parents who are thinking of having, who are near having, or who have recently had a real baby. Even if you want the other kind, chances are that you will get a real, crying, screaming, nerve-shredding baby instead.

While most books marking your baby's milestones concentrate on minor events like Baby's First Word, and Baby's First Tooth, Baby's First Tattoo lets you relive the unforgettable moments in your baby's life that are too often ignored: Baby's First Tantrum in a Crowded Grocery Store, Baby's First Dirt-Eating, Baby's First Test of Wills.

Unlike the old-fashioned baby books you will find in your parents' attic, this book is meant to be filled out beyond page four, and will also give you a timely warning as to what new hell you can expect from your child next. Will today be the day you make two visits to the emergency room or just your First Panic Call to Poison Control?

People often say to me, "If babies are such a bother and a burden, why do people keep having them?" And I say, "Because they have poor memories." To which they say, "What were we just talking about?"

The other reason is that parents, quite naturally, like to brag about their children. They play up the good things and avoid the bad. You will always hear about Billy's first step. You will rarely hear about Billy's first day in juvenile court, even if you were one of his victims. You will most definitely hear about Betty's first haircut, yet the day she bit the neighbor kid so hard he needed stitches in his hand is somehow glossed over. Baby's First Tattoo presents life with a new child the way it really is, not the way it should be.

Text copyright © 2002 by Jim Mullen

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 6 )

Rating Distribution

5 Star

(2)

4 Star

(2)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(2)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or Leave Anonymously

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identiy on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

We're sorry, but penname is already taken.

Please select one of the following:
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

penname is available!

By visiting the BN.com website or marking a purchase on BN.com, a User is deemed to have accepted the Terms of Use.

Continue Anonymously

Welcome, penname

You have successfully created your Pen Name. Start enjoying the benefits of the BN.com Community today.

Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 1, 2003

    reality

    this baby book was a cute little gift from my mother. being that my husband and I are heavily tattooed (he's an artist and we own a shop). the book itself is too small to really hold a lot but the little headings are just cute to read.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 29, 2010

    Made me laugh out loud

    After reading the 1 star review that the previous reviewer gave this book, I don't think that he/she actually read the other reviews. This is not your typical fill in the blank baby book with the normal "firsts". As an earlier reviewer said, you have to have a sense of humor to really appreciate this book. I saw it at a baby shower last night and spent the next 15 minutes laughing and chuckling over all the extremely funny fill in the blanks. I am well past child bearing years, but look forward to giving this book to my children's friends as they become parents.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 21, 2009

    BAD BOOK-NOT WORTH THE MONEY

    I thought that this was going to be a great book based on the reviews. It actually is just ridiculous. It is pages and pages of nonsense that you won't ever fill in about your baby. I filled in about 20 out of 200 things in this book because it was outrageous and over the top. For example, there is a whole page of talk shows your baby appeared on, 4 pages of family history where you should fill in info about "step" family members and then just crazy things like Date your Dr. chopped off your leg instead of foreskin__________ Name of taxicab driver who delivered you_________ Date of first daycare lawsuit____________ Date your tortured first animal_________

    The book would have been great if it was at all realistic and just included the first swear word, most embarrassing moment, first temper tantrum....etc. It really is a book just to read through for a laugh, but don't expect to truly use it as a momento because over 90% probably won't even apply to your baby/family. I was totally disappointed and am going to return it.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 5, 2006

    I have the book and am saving it for WHEN I have kids

    I worked at B&N a long time ago and found this book, it was probably 10 years ago, and I still don't have children - but I KNEW this book was for me. It is absolutely HILARIOUS. There's nothing like writing down your baby's first curse word - sooo inappropriate, but don't you want to laugh with your kids about this one day?!?!?!?

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 16, 2004

    How Fun

    I wasn't quite sure what I was getting when I ordered this book, however I was pleasently surprised. This is a great book for expecting parents that have a sense of humor. This is a great secondary baby book. I will give this book to all my friends as they have kids. Not for the stuffy minded parents....

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 30, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)
500 character limit