Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life

Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life

4.9 9
by Suzy Farbman, Marianne Williamson, Burton Farbman
     
 

Back from Betrayal is a beautifully written and brutally honest account of marital infidelity and the long journey back to reconciliation.

Suzy Farbman was living the American dream: great kids, a marriage that had lasted nearly three decades, a successful career, and a comfortable lifestyle. But when she discovered her husband was having an affair, her

See more details below

Overview

Back from Betrayal is a beautifully written and brutally honest account of marital infidelity and the long journey back to reconciliation.

Suzy Farbman was living the American dream: great kids, a marriage that had lasted nearly three decades, a successful career, and a comfortable lifestyle. But when she discovered her husband was having an affair, her dream turned to nightmare, her secure world crumbled.

She was not alone. Experts tell us that in this country at least one of every three couples is touched by infidelity. And middle-aged couples today admit to twice the rate of infidelity as the preceding generation. While revelations about infidelity usually result in either divorce or an empty relationship, Suzy was determined to fight back. First for her own life. Then, if possible, for her marriage and family.

Suzy Farbman?s personal odyssey is one of the first published by a woman who confronted infidelity and went on to save her marriage. It was a long and difficult struggle, but in the process she learned much about what it takes to rebuild a relationship.

Here, too, are the revelations and insights of her husband, Burton. In his own words, he presents the startling account of how a successful businessman took full measure of himself and then made profound changes to dismantle the layers of his deceptive life.

Back from Betrayal will inspire couples who want to repair a broken marriage, and will also guide those in a healthy partnership to a deeper level of commitment and self-awareness. This courageous story adds a new perspective to our understanding of infidelity and, more important, reveals a process that can lead to healing and renewal. Ultimately, it is a love story for grown-ups.

Read More

Editorial Reviews

Mark Wolf
As Suzy Farbman writes it, the day that changed her life seemed so promising.

She and her husband, Burton, were on their way to checking out the home they were building in an idyllic town north of Detroit when his cell phone rang. It was the Other Woman.

The Cadillac STS interior was quiet enough that her voice escaped the phone like a shard aimed at Suzy's heart. Her husband told her it was a business acquaintance, then said it was a woman who was having an affair with a friend of his.

"For the first time in almost 30 years of marriage, I knew my husband was lying," Suzy would later write.

That was her heart talking. Her brain was still wearing earplugs.

"I was working overtime to believe him. I had been so out of touch with my feelings," she said.

During a couples-therapy weekend two years later, her husband confessed to a trio of infidelities over the course of their marriage. The revelations sparked a years-long process of counseling and introspection that resulted in Back From Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life (Crofton Creek Press, $24.95), Suzy Farbman's book about how her marriage was strained, then saved...
— Rocky Mountain News (Denver, CO)
Penny Wolfson
Suzy, for all her platitudes, does know how to write and pace a story, and Back From Betrayal is an easy, somewhat breathless read.
The Washington Post
Plain Dealer
After decades of building a business, Burton was ready to retire and have some fun. After 30 years of raising kids and supporting her husband's ambitions, Suzy was ready to move her own career to the front burner. So begins the story of the Farbmans, whose opposing life trajectories caused them to have a close brush with divorce.

As told by Suzy in her book, Burton began having an affair, distancing himself from Suzy. Through couples programs and therapy, they came out of the betrayal with a marriage that was stronger than ever.

Her intention in writing their story was to inspire and help the many other couples dealing with infidelity. While there is a large number of books available on the subject, Back From Betrayal is unique in that it tells one story in great depth. It exposes the pain, vulnerability and patience involved in fighting this uphill battle.

Readers will be encouraged to see that steps taken backward are part of the longer process of moving forward. They also will be inspired by Suzy's transformation from victim and martyr into a confident woman in control of her own destiny.

Lest readers dismiss this as a one-sided story, Burton writes the last chapter to confirm Suzy's testimony and write of his own transformation. While the scope is limited to one couple's experience, all individuals dealing with infidelity will find where their life trajectories merged with the Farbmans.
Publishers Weekly - Publishers Weekly
Though she describes herself as "Generation S" one of the cultural "straddlers" who came of age in the 1960s Farbman admits she was more into pruning her rosebushes "than marching for peace." A virgin when she married her real estate developer husband in 1967, Farbman was a faithful, supportive wife for 30 years. She set aside her own career to raise their children, turning down job offers outside her husband's Detroit base of operations. She thought she had a very good marriage. Then her husband admitted after she'd become suspicious and brought him to "couples therapy" that he'd been having affairs with other women. Farbman was devastated. But rather than go straight to a divorce lawyer, she decided to deal with her pain and confusion and see if her marriage could be salvaged. She went to Onsite, a crisis intervention center in Tennessee, and also to the Deepak Chopra Institute. She consulted "spirit guides" and an astrologist. She tried realignment by "cranio-sacral massage." Her husband went to The Meadows, an Arizona facility for behavioral disorders, and together they studied "A Course in Miracles." After much rethinking and revising of their interpersonal skills, the Farbmans were able to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary together stronger, wiser and happier. Statistically, it's uncommon for couples to recover from infidelity. Culturally, it seems even odder for middle-aged, upper-crust Midwesterners to consult New Age therapists for healing. Still, readers without the means to participate in such far-flung seminars may find inspiration from reading this story. (June) Forecast: Oprah will be taping an interview with Farbman in May. It will air in an upcoming episode, which should spike sales for this small press title. Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

Read More

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780970091727
Publisher:
Crofton Creek Press
Publication date:
05/28/2004
Pages:
288
Product dimensions:
6.38(w) x 9.06(h) x 1.10(d)

Customer Reviews

Average Review:

Write a Review

and post it to your social network

     

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See all customer reviews >