Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life

Overview

Back from Betrayal is a beautifully written and brutally honest account of marital infidelity and the long journey back to reconciliation.

Suzy Farbman was living the American dream: great kids, a marriage that had lasted nearly three decades, a successful career, and a comfortable lifestyle. But when she discovered her husband was having an affair, her dream turned to nightmare, her secure world crumbled.

She was not alone. Experts tell us ...

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2004 Hard cover New. Glued binding. Cloth over boards. With dust jacket. 272 p.

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2004 Hard cover New in new dust jacket. Glued binding. Cloth over boards. With dust jacket. 272 p. Audience: General/trade.

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South Boardman, MI 2004 First Printing; Hardcover First Edition New in New dust jacket 0970091729. Hardcover is black. Spine is black with white lettering. Red endpapers. Pages ... are clean and tight; this is a NEW book, still in the publisher's shrinkwrap. Stated first edition. Printed on alkaline paper. "Suzy Farbman's personal odyssey is one of the first published by a woman who confronted infidelity and went on to save her marriage...in the process she learned much about what it takes to rebuild a relationship. Here, too, are the revelations and insights of her husband, Burton. In his own words, he presents the startling account of how a successful businessman took full measure of himself and then made profound changes to dismantle the layers of his deceptive life".; 1.2 x 9.2 x 6.1 Inches; xii, 272 pages. Read more Show Less

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Overview

Back from Betrayal is a beautifully written and brutally honest account of marital infidelity and the long journey back to reconciliation.

Suzy Farbman was living the American dream: great kids, a marriage that had lasted nearly three decades, a successful career, and a comfortable lifestyle. But when she discovered her husband was having an affair, her dream turned to nightmare, her secure world crumbled.

She was not alone. Experts tell us that in this country at least one of every three couples is touched by infidelity. And middle-aged couples today admit to twice the rate of infidelity as the preceding generation. While revelations about infidelity usually result in either divorce or an empty relationship, Suzy was determined to fight back. First for her own life. Then, if possible, for her marriage and family.

Suzy Farbman?s personal odyssey is one of the first published by a woman who confronted infidelity and went on to save her marriage. It was a long and difficult struggle, but in the process she learned much about what it takes to rebuild a relationship.

Here, too, are the revelations and insights of her husband, Burton. In his own words, he presents the startling account of how a successful businessman took full measure of himself and then made profound changes to dismantle the layers of his deceptive life.

Back from Betrayal will inspire couples who want to repair a broken marriage, and will also guide those in a healthy partnership to a deeper level of commitment and self-awareness. This courageous story adds a new perspective to our understanding of infidelity and, more important, reveals a process that can lead to healing and renewal. Ultimately, it is a love story for grown-ups.

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Editorial Reviews

Mark Wolf
As Suzy Farbman writes it, the day that changed her life seemed so promising.She and her husband, Burton, were on their way to checking out the home they were building in an idyllic town north of Detroit when his cell phone rang. It was the Other Woman.The Cadillac STS interior was quiet enough that her voice escaped the phone like a shard aimed at Suzy's heart. Her husband told her it was a business acquaintance, then said it was a woman who was having an affair with a friend of his."For the first time in almost 30 years of marriage, I knew my husband was lying," Suzy would later write.That was her heart talking. Her brain was still wearing earplugs. "I was working overtime to believe him. I had been so out of touch with my feelings," she said.During a couples-therapy weekend two years later, her husband confessed to a trio of infidelities over the course of their marriage. The revelations sparked a years-long process of counseling and introspection that resulted in Back From Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life (Crofton Creek Press, $24.95), Suzy Farbman's book about how her marriage was strained, then saved...
— Rocky Mountain News (Denver, CO)
Penny Wolfson
Suzy, for all her platitudes, does know how to write and pace a story, and Back From Betrayal is an easy, somewhat breathless read.
The Washington Post
Plain Dealer
After decades of building a business, Burton was ready to retire and have some fun. After 30 years of raising kids and supporting her husband's ambitions, Suzy was ready to move her own career to the front burner. So begins the story of the Farbmans, whose opposing life trajectories caused them to have a close brush with divorce. As told by Suzy in her book, Burton began having an affair, distancing himself from Suzy. Through couples programs and therapy, they came out of the betrayal with a marriage that was stronger than ever. Her intention in writing their story was to inspire and help the many other couples dealing with infidelity. While there is a large number of books available on the subject, Back From Betrayal is unique in that it tells one story in great depth. It exposes the pain, vulnerability and patience involved in fighting this uphill battle. Readers will be encouraged to see that steps taken backward are part of the longer process of moving forward. They also will be inspired by Suzy's transformation from victim and martyr into a confident woman in control of her own destiny. Lest readers dismiss this as a one-sided story, Burton writes the last chapter to confirm Suzy's testimony and write of his own transformation. While the scope is limited to one couple's experience, all individuals dealing with infidelity will find where their life trajectories merged with the Farbmans.
Publishers Weekly
Though she describes herself as "Generation S" one of the cultural "straddlers" who came of age in the 1960s Farbman admits she was more into pruning her rosebushes "than marching for peace." A virgin when she married her real estate developer husband in 1967, Farbman was a faithful, supportive wife for 30 years. She set aside her own career to raise their children, turning down job offers outside her husband's Detroit base of operations. She thought she had a very good marriage. Then her husband admitted after she'd become suspicious and brought him to "couples therapy" that he'd been having affairs with other women. Farbman was devastated. But rather than go straight to a divorce lawyer, she decided to deal with her pain and confusion and see if her marriage could be salvaged. She went to Onsite, a crisis intervention center in Tennessee, and also to the Deepak Chopra Institute. She consulted "spirit guides" and an astrologist. She tried realignment by "cranio-sacral massage." Her husband went to The Meadows, an Arizona facility for behavioral disorders, and together they studied "A Course in Miracles." After much rethinking and revising of their interpersonal skills, the Farbmans were able to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary together stronger, wiser and happier. Statistically, it's uncommon for couples to recover from infidelity. Culturally, it seems even odder for middle-aged, upper-crust Midwesterners to consult New Age therapists for healing. Still, readers without the means to participate in such far-flung seminars may find inspiration from reading this story. (June) Forecast: Oprah will be taping an interview with Farbman in May. It will air in an upcoming episode, which should spike sales for this small press title. Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780970091727
  • Publisher: Crofton Creek Press
  • Publication date: 5/28/2004
  • Pages: 288
  • Product dimensions: 6.38 (w) x 9.06 (h) x 1.10 (d)

Meet the Author

Suzy Farbman has been a journalist for more than thirty years. Before resigning to write this book, she spent five years as a regional editor for Better Homes and Gardens and other Meredith Corporation publications. Prior to that, Farbman was a contributing editor for Detroit Monthly magazine, concentrating on decorating, fashion, and the arts. She also wrote for the Detroit News and Women?s Wear Daily, freelanced articles for national magazines, including Cosmopolitan, and worked on projects for her husband?s privately owned real estate firm, the Farbman Group.

Suzy Farbman graduated from the University of Michigan with a B.A. in English. She resides in Michigan with her husband, Burton. They have two grown sons.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix
Foreword xi
Prologue: Don't Worry About It 1
1 A Kiss to Build a Dream On 9
2 High Hopes 15
3 Onward and Upward 23
4 Happy Trails 33
5 Falling Apart 41
6 Chasing the Light 55
7 Facing Facts 73
8 To Hell and Back 87
9 Learning to Live Centered 117
10 Back to the Real World 133
11 A New Age New Me 149
12 Blossoming Out 161
13 Rebuilding 173
14 Finding My Heart 183
15 Tough Talking 195
16 Ups and Downs 199
17 Opening Up 209
18 The Last to Know 217
19 Starting Over 225
20 A New Marriage 233
Epilogue 241
Afterword: In Burton's Words: Giving Up Deception 249
Appendix A Reader's Guide 265
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Sort by: Showing all of 9 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 27, 2008

    An honest and well written portrayal of infidelity & survival

    I highly recommend this wonderful book. I totally related to the author and the pain & betrayal that she had experienced. After 24 years of being 'happily married', I recently found out that my husband had been involved in a long term affair with an aquaintance of ours. I was utterly shocked. The author of this book, Susy, had put the devastation, humiliation & grief I felt into words. Even my husband related to the experiences of her husband, Burton, and the gamut of feelings the couple were left to deal with. This book allows you to realize that your feelings are perfectly normal. It also gives hope as well as practical advice for getting past infidelity, from a couple who has lived & survived it. This book is so well written, I was unable to put it down, and read it in an afternoon.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 6, 2008

    Thank you!!!!

    At a time when I did not want to read a book from experts that had not lived the life I am currently forced to live I am so grateful for this book. I felt her pain but I then felt the love they share. I needed to know that this was not a death sentence for our marriage and their story gave me the needed encouragement. I read this book in less than five hours plane ride. It is a must read for any couple that needs an encouragement not to give up.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2007

    Good book

    I loved this book. It saved our marrige. now, my wife and i can sit at the same table again!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 10, 2005

    Love Conquers All

    I read this a while back and when I saw her on Oprah, I was surprised. It is my belief that 98% of married men commits infidelity at one time or another during the marriage. Susan's no exception. Her story has been told over and over and over again for mega years. Some wives are aware of their husbands unfaithfulness and because of the financial stability and lifestyle of their families, they decide to turn their heads, along with deaf ears. While on the other hand, some wives decide that they can never trust and forgive their spouses for commiting such betrayal and they decide to end the marriage, regardless of how it would affect the children. Sexual addiction is just like any other fleshly addiction, except, it can PHYSICALLY harm the innocent party (through contracting STDs). I believe that if the marriage is worth saving, then save it. Don't be so quick to call it quits. Afterall, haste makes waste. Forgive and healing will come and especially through Susan's method - prayer. The old saying continues to hold truth that 'time heals ALL wounds.' Marriage is HARD work. The flesh is weak but the spirit is willing. I read a novel called, 'LUST OF THE FLESH' by Beverly Rolyat. It is pretty much the novel version to this book, except it is written in an entertaining, pageturning, riveting, compelling, exciting, breathtaking style. I highly recommend it.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2004

    Bravo!

    Though reading 'Back From Betrayal' opened a deep wound from my past, it made my heart happy to see this brave couple doing whatever it takes to get their Marriage back on track. Marriages are thrown away far to readily and Divorce is a devastating blow to our Families. I'm happy that Suzy Farbman chose a different path and subsequently went public with this story. Letting go of 'What will people think', telling the painful truth and sharing methods for change will give other wounded (though still together) couples a model to follow. The Farbman's have made a strong statement for putting their lives back together and are able to view the results from a much higher level of mutual support and admiration. For that I say 'Bravo!' I can applaud right through my tears for 'What might have been.'

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 2, 2004

    Great Story - and so well written

    This book is fantastic. Farbman tells a story that is compelling. The book brought out a host of emotions for me, all of this and the main topic of infidelity is not an issue in my life. Farbman¿s is so well written that at times I thought I was reading fiction. Any person can learn from the Farbman¿s journey. This book transcends the main topic.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 27, 2004

    Inspiring Read

    The story is tough, but the read is very fast. I enjoyed this inspirational love story. I personally have been dealing with some family issues, and this book truely helped bring to light hope. This book could help us all.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 26, 2004

    Extremely Honest

    Suzy tells an honest story about the strength and courage it took to rebuild her marriage. The couple is an inspiration to a very 'today' problem in our society.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 12, 2004

    Gives hope for healing shattered hearts

    Suzy and Burton Farbman are an amazingly courageous couple who have bared their collective souls to share hope for those experiencing infidelity. Most would cower from such honesty, but this is gut-wrenching and directly relates to the innermost anguish of husbands and wives in the midst of marital distrust.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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