Lady Chatterly Cooper, or LC Cooper as she became known, remains a Lady of the '80s. Pink high-tops (autographed by Rick Springfield) and checkerboard waffle Vans (a la "Fast Times at Ridgemont High") complement her ensemble of Jane Fonda leg warmers and Madonna junk jewelry. Because she's no longer perky and petite, parachute pants are a necessity and not a lingering fashion statement. She maintains her own sense of style and grace. Her daughters, Tiffany, Farah, and Demi, and her sons, Milli, Vanilli, and Bruce don't think so.
Disenchanted that she wasn't "discovered" while a groupie for Culture Club, Wild West and Wham, LC set a course for self respect and began writing. Her first book was a biography about that lovely couple, Sean Penn and Madonna. Although the project tanked, LC caught the writing bug. Gone were the days of scrawling invitations on men's-room walls.
LC hit the big time when Thunderbox Press published her kiss-and-tell exposé entitled, "Speedo Libido." Although some washed-up rockers found humor in it, ("Yeah, I shagged her," Rod Stewart supposedly said, "but who didn't I bang in the '80s?"), others, such as PeeWee Herman ("she was too old for me") and George Michael ("she doesn't even look like a dude") might have been offended. VH1 canned the TV series based on the book when a test audience preferred to see Ozzy flitting around his house in a dress instead of watching LC's aged, saggy boobs flop around in her red one-piece swimsuit in slow motion on camera.
Once again trashed by the music industry, brokenhearted LC withdrew from the limelight and bought a secluded ranch in The Everglades. Not able to grow much in all that muck, the stinking goo inspired her second novel, "Stick in the Mud." This satire chronicled the price-fixing practices of the Recording Industry Association of Antarctica. Thumbing its nose at consumers, governments, and free-trade around the world, the RIAA fought to suppress "Stick in the Mud." Written from a male point-of-view, the book details how the RIAA takes the consumer up a dark and dirty path where no woman can go.
These days, LC enjoys spending long weekends with her David Hasselhoff inflatables. Whenever her dolls are worn out, LC manages the writing careers of her six children. When that happens, they buy her more dolls.