Be Loved for Who You Really Are: How the Differences between Men and Women Can Be Turned into the Source of the Very Best Romance You'll Ever Know

Overview

Based on their sixteen years together as relationship trainers working with over 100,000 singles and couples, Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski have developed a truly new and original way to approach relationships. Be Loved for Who You Really Are describes the four passages of love and shows how differences between partners can be a rich source of deep intimacy, enhancing instead of destroying a relationship. Readers learn to recognize, understand, and value differences as the secret to keeping love, passion, ...
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Overview

Based on their sixteen years together as relationship trainers working with over 100,000 singles and couples, Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski have developed a truly new and original way to approach relationships. Be Loved for Who You Really Are describes the four passages of love and shows how differences between partners can be a rich source of deep intimacy, enhancing instead of destroying a relationship. Readers learn to recognize, understand, and value differences as the secret to keeping love, passion, and real romance alive for a lifetime. Judith and Jim provide many inspiring examples that show how real love lives between two people, and how differences are at the heart of the deepest connection being together has to offer.
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
A husband-and-wife psychology team, the authors are well known for their show on Wisdom Radio, appearances on TV talk shows, magazine columns, web site participation, and previous book, The New Intimacy. Here they present a blueprint for what they call "the arc of love." They detail the four passages through which real, mature love between two people progresses, highlighting how the differences between men and women can enhance rather than destroy a relationship. Anecdotes from their own 15-year marriage and from the lives of people they have counseled are used to illustrate their points. Replete with suggestions for further reflection or activities, the narrative tends to have a spiritual, New Age flavor. Love is often personified, and a higher power or spirit is referenced throughout, though no particular doctrine is espoused. The section describing the importance of conflict and its place in a relationship includes a warning about abuse. Given the proposed national media campaign, which will include appearances on Oprah, The View, and other popular media outlets, this book should generate demand. For public libraries' self-help collections. Margaret Cardwell, Christian Brothers Univ., Memphis Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
From the Publisher

"This is a wonderful book for keeping love alive. Judith and Jim share their own journey of love as they help you understand yours. Their explanations and advice are on a higher level, that everyone, even those already in a successful relationship can greatly benefit from."
--Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., bestselling author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and Opening Our Hearts to Men

"The New Intimacy helped me in a time of need. Be Loved for Who You Really Are has taken those ideas even further."--William Shatner

"This is a master's guide to intimacy and relationship. It leads us with grace, humor, and much appreciated practicality to the most precious yet difficult-to-achieve places of the heart. I recommend it with great enthusiasm."--Sonia Choquette, Ph.D., author of Your Heart's Desire and True Balance

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780312313180
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 1/8/2003
  • Edition description: REV
  • Pages: 304
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.50 (h) x 0.69 (d)

Meet the Author

In addition to their psychological expertise, Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D. have been guest-experts on over 500 television and radio shows, including Oprah, The View, 48 Hours, and The O'Reilly Factor. They enjoy their own successful marriage of fifteen years and reside in Windham, New York.

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Table of Contents

Our Appreciation 11
A Personal Note 13
Chapter 1 Why You Can't Fail at Love 17
Passage 1 A Glimpse of What Is Possible Two Become as One
Chapter 2 The Passion: A Taste of Perfection 37
Chapter 3 The Purpose: Beyond What You've Ever Known 49
Chapter 4 The Problems: Fantasy versus Love 63
Chapter 5 The Principles: It's Always Co-Created 79
Chapter 6 The Payoff: You Know You Are Lovable 91
Passage 2 The Clash of Differences One Becomes Two
Chapter 7 The Passion: The Initiation 99
Chapter 8 The Purpose: Separate and Distinct 115
Chapter 9 The Problems: This Can't Be Love 129
Chapter 10 The Principles: The Alchemical Power of Two 149
Chapter 11 The Payoff: Love in Flesh and Blood 163
Passage 3 The Magic of Differences Two Become Three
Chapter 12 The Passion: All the Ways You Are 177
Chapter 13 The Purpose: Wisdom in Your Choice 195
Chapter 14 The Problems: Shadows from the Past 209
Chapter 15 The Principles: The Dance of Differences 223
Chapter 16 The Payoff: Free to Be You 233
Passage 4 The Grace of Deep Intimacy Three Become as One
Chapter 17 The Passion: A Foundation of Grace 245
Chapter 18 The Purpose: An Aspect of the Miracle 257
Chapter 19 The Problems: Forgetting You Are Human 269
Chapter 20 The Principles: Surrender, Surrender, Surrender 281
Chapter 21 The Payoff: Let Me Come to You 293
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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2002

    Be Loved for Who You Really Are: How the Differences between Men and Women Can Be Turned into the Source of the Very Best Romance You'll Ever Know

    Be Loved For Who You Really Are has not only changed the way I relate to my partner, but has given me great courage and insight into accepting myself. It has helped me become more intimate in all of my relationships. It is no-nonsense truth. I can't imagine anyone that would not benefit by intigrating the tools and advice they give to obtain a happier healthier life.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 5, 2002

    Electric Relationships

    Electricity always works. It¿s power can save your life, make you more comfortable, or it can kill you. Maybe relationships aren¿t quite that dramatic, but pretty close. There is no manual for relationships and no real standard. Woe to most of us who learn relationships from our parents, even those with good and sustained marriages. Times are different, with unique choices and challenges. This book addresses those challenges and is almost a relationship-by-the-numbers builder. This talented husband/wife team has written the manual for current and future relationships. Whether you are between the extreme of single and alone to happily married, Be Loved For Who you Really Are is the AHA of relationship building in these exceptional times. As a divorced man between serious relationships, this book opened my eyes wide. After reading it, I feel like the guy who just read a book on electricity and discovered that it¿s not a good idea to blow dry my hair while taking a shower¿just as I was about to start the water. The directions and clarity in this power-packed tome may save your relationship¿s life, now or in the future. I¿m glad I read it now, so will you.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2002

    Be Loved for Who You Really Are: How the Differences between Men and Women Can Be Turned into the Source of the Very Best Romance You'll Ever Know

    Be Loved For Who You Really Are shows how differences between lovers can be turned into a powerful source of lifelong love and romance. The Mrs. and myself, having read the book, have discovered that the differences between us need not divide us ¿ and in fact, can bring us closer together. For myself, I have learned to understand that the things she does that I used to let drive me up the wall are in fact the very things I love her for ¿ and if you get her in a good mood, when she¿s not in training punching the bag ¿ she¿ll admit the same about her feelings toward me. Most important, Judith and Jim showed each of us how to examine what our part is in the miscommunications that go on all the time. Seems that finding romance with your mate is not a matter of changing them to your expectations. It¿s really about changing your own conceptions of yourself ¿ and stretching yourself to accommodate others. This leads to a condition known as Intimacy, a quality I feel we could all use more of ¿ instead of that other feeling we confuse with intimacy ¿ Intensity. If you¿re like me ¿ and I figure I¿m no different than you ¿ you have no doubt discovered what little power you have in changing the things he or she does that you don¿t like. You¿ll therefore be ¿knocked out¿ when Judith and Jim show you how to have an enormous amount of power in changing yourself. And once both partners take a good look at themselves ¿ and give up the Blame Game ¿ they each bring a new and romantic intimacy to their relationship. This book shows you how to achieve such, without changing you into some touchy-feely wuss. Be Loved For Who You Really Are teaches how to celebrate each other¿s differences, and how to co-create your own unique relationship. Listen guys ¿ and gals ¿ how many times have you thought of just bailing out and living alone in a shack with ESPN or Emeril on all day, no one to bother you? Tell the truth! But you know deep inside, being alone is no way to live! Be Loved For Who You Really Are has put and end to 90% of the battles in our house. We have begun to learn to talk to one another, to reveal ourselves ¿ and become bigger people in the process. I know I¿ve become bigger, and it¿s not just from all that Haagen Daz! I¿ve found out that I¿m not such a hardheaded pig as I once thought. And my mate has discovered a softer side that makes me want to be more romantic. The style of Judith and Jim¿s writing takes the pain out of the process. Read this book, and it will take the pain out of finding love, understanding, romance and most important, yourself. Gotta go now. Martinis for me and the Mrs. ¿ both of us, now shaken and stirred.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 2, 2002

    A GREAT BOOK!

    Differences are the main reason couples break up. But can these differences be turned into life long love and romance? Is that possible? Drs. Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski, authors of Be Loved For Who You Really Are say ¿YES!¿ These married psychologists and best selling authors review the stages of love and concentrate the on the second stage. This is when, inevitably, conflicts come up.. The ¿perfect¿ person we fell in love with ( the first stage) seems to have disappeared and irritation and differences surface. They claim that this is an vital stage of the development of any relationship. It forms the cornerstone and provides the strength to get through the unavoidable problems we all experience in life. It is also, unfortunately, the time when people call it quits because they are not getting along. They advise couples who fight to ¿hang in there.¿ These authors teach us that intimacy and long lasting romance is the reward for learning to love and accept the other¿s differences.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 1, 2001

    THEIR BEST BOOK YET! REMARKABLE!

    Today's premier husband-and-wife team of relationship experts has crafted their most moving, most richly detailed, and most comprehensive work to date. Be Loved for Who You Really Are is inspirational and practical, down-to-earth and idealistic, all at the same time. It's packed with good humor, good sense, good ideas, and good stories. Read it today if not sooner and tell your next date, your partner or your spouse that their love stock is poised to go through the roof.

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