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Beautylicious!: The Black Girl's Guide to the Fabulous Life [NOOK Book]

Overview

Plenty of successful guides have been published for hip girls in general, but now the trendsetting black reader has a book of her own. Dedicated to chic sisters everywhere, Beautylicious! shimmers with wit and soul—an irresistible new recipe for loving, playing, and beautifying with verve. Chapters include:

• Soul Power: Sizzle with ...
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Beautylicious!: The Black Girl's Guide to the Fabulous Life

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Overview

Plenty of successful guides have been published for hip girls in general, but now the trendsetting black reader has a book of her own. Dedicated to chic sisters everywhere, Beautylicious! shimmers with wit and soul—an irresistible new recipe for loving, playing, and beautifying with verve. Chapters include:

• Soul Power: Sizzle with radiance from the inside out
• Queen Me: Treats to perk you up when the blues have got you down
• Superfly: How to heat up your wardrobe without scorching your self-confidence
• Fit and Fine: A toned body plus a healthy mind equals a sensational you
• Beauty . . . Moi Way: Enhancing fabulous you
• Fun and Frolic: Perfecting your swerve
Fête Accompli: Entertaining wtih style and soul
• Date-o-Rama: The fast track to vixenhood
• Mane Intrigue: Straight talk on finding a hairstyle that's as fabulous as you are
• Luxe Life: The fine art of indulgence


Beautylicious!also shares know-how from the Patron Saints of Fabulosity, along with tips for becoming a favorite hostess (and a favorite guest), staying cool in heated situations, and finessing that saucy outlook on life. The ideal gift, Beautylicious! sparkles with fun and flair.


From the Trade Paperback edition.
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Raines, formerly an associate beauty editor at Essence magazine, waxes ecstatic on various topics (e.g., hair, feelings, and dating) in this manifesto for African American women. Some readers may find the book overly hedonistic at first, but that sentiment should wane in the face of Raines's enthusiasm: she recommends reveling in all the beauty and sensuousness that life has to offer, be it great music, fine literature, or a "beautylicious" hairdo, and there's nothing wrong with that. Though slight, the chapter on health ("Fit and Fine") is a case in point; it advises doing something sound (e.g., drink water) with panache (e.g., use a fine glass and a crystal pitcher). Wonderfully energetic, this is a great starting point for women who are interested in living zestfully. Raines's candid, direct style is that of a girlfriend (the book's title is a play on the hit song "Bootylicious," by contemporary girl group, Destiny's Child). Public libraries should stock this one or read-a-like Debra Olliver's Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
From the Publisher

“From fly fashion tips and time-honored beauty basics to smart entertaining and dating rules for today’s diva, BEAUTYLICIOUS! might very well be the only accessory any real diva can’t live without! Stylish sisters should listen up—and arm each and every girlfriend with their own copy.” —Lloyd Boston, author of MAKE OVER YOUR MAN and Fashion Editor for NBC’s Today Show

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780307513878
  • Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 4/14/2010
  • Sold by: Random House
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 441,478
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author

Jenyne Raines is the former associate beauty editor at Essence and has over ten years’ experience writing about black beauty and style. Her articles have appeared in InStyle, Vibe, Heart & Soul, Mode, Girl, and Weight Watchers. Raines has also contributed to three books: SoulStyle: Black Women Defining Fashion, Tenderheaded: A Comb-bending Collection of Hair Stories, and Essence Total Makeover. She has consulted for leading beauty companies, including Revlon, Clairol, Black Opal, and PhytoSpecific.
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Read an Excerpt

Chapter One
Queen Me

I'm a winner, baby.
-Diana Ross, Mahogany

Literary wit and bon vivant Oscar Wilde said, "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." These are the words to live by. This is the bedrock of beautyliciousness: self-acceptance. Self-acceptance and self-esteem are about being in love with you, about having the ability to truly appreciate your talents, beauty, and uniqueness, and, above all, being comfortable with yourself.

You put the bomb in bombshell. Your looks are smoldering, your personality is dynamic, and the total you is, well, kaboom! Wow! Though you may find yourself asking, "Where is that incendiary minx? Hmm, does she only come out for All Saints Day and the lunar eclipse?" Most of the time you are slinking around like a sweet but meek calico kitty, because you don't quite believe that God's been so good to you. Clearly, you're oblivious to how great you are. You're not alone. The truth is that balancing and maintaining your self-esteem is a lifelong process, one that no one is exempt from.

Trust, all of the Dolls, from Josephine Baker to Halle Berry, have had their doubts, doubters, and detractors, but they've also had their hype list, affirmations, goals, and vision. Everyone has had to learn to push past her fears and underlying thoughts of "I'm just an ashy, knock-kneed gal from Harlem" to project "I'm the cat's meow." It may not have been easy; yet they put one Ferragamo-shod foot in front of the other in a soulful strut toward their dream. Sure, you'll fall, but what separates Ms. Beautylicious from the rest of the girls is that she'll get up confident, determined, and laughing. Think of confidence as a verb. It is an action. When you're feeling less than sizzling, do something! It takes an arsenal of mind games, affirmations, and reinforcements to appear confident when you really want to use your head for soccer practice. And, it takes grace, humility, and a bit of humor to recover from life's pratfalls. Don't worry, you'll reclaim the incendiary minx that has always been there. Use the confidence-building tools in your arsenal, but always remember Beautylicious rule number one: You rule!

Cast Down Your Buckets

So advised Booker T. Washington in his famous Atlanta conference speech. He was exhorting black folks on how to cope with racism during the turn of the twentieth century. While his advice was, in hindsight, umm, too accommodating of the racial mores of the time, it's right on time for Ms. Beautylicious. Cast down your buckets and pick up your mirror to lovingly assess your unique beauty and to start embracing yourself as you are now. Anyone can think she's ready to take over the world after her weave is sewn in or she's dropped twenty pounds, but the base of boomin' beautyliciousness is appreciating what you have now, whether it's your favorite feature or not. When you look in the mirror, know that the person reflected deserves love, fun, loads of fulfilling sex, success, Louis Vuitton bags, and all the best that life has to offer; claim these things and more as your due. And, when a flashback or a bad-hair day has rocked your fab foundation, be sure to reach for your looking glass and caress yourself. How? Try this technique, developed by therapist Carolyn Hillman in her book Love Your Looks: Show Compassion for whatever you are feeling about yourself, nonjudgmentally. Accept yourself and your appearance. Respect yourself for who you are. Encourage yourself to take the risks and the steps to achieve what you want out of life as you are now. Support yourself by believing in yourself and reassuring yourself that how you look is fine. Stroke yourself by praising yourself and giving yourself credit for trying. The love fest starts this minute!

Don't Play That Song for Me

What you say to yourself is far more important than what's going on in your life. If the CD My Greatest Misses and Disses is on perpetual random play in your head, it limits you--your talents, power, and beauty. How do you stop the litany of negativity? By replacing every negative thought with a positive one. It starts with confronting the negative thought--you know, the "I am fat, I am lazy, I am dumb" conversation that, when you think about it, some small jealous clown from sixth grade bestowed on you and you believed it. Replace that cut in your head with "I am not dumb. I am a smart girl and confident. Hell, I got it going on." The key is you have to say it out loud so that you can get the hang of it and begin to believe it. Repetition is good. Out in public and cut number five, "I am a loser," starts playing? A simple "No," said out loud (but not too loud), believe it or not, helps. It sounds like the last stand against the bogeyman, and in a way it is. No makes the offending thoughts dissolve. The real daily deal: Start talking pretty to yourself. Hips are no longer described as humongous. Nope, they're "curvy" and "cushy comfy." Give yourself a shout-out every time you pass the mirror or when a wave of doubt overtakes you. Granted, the first couple of times that you say, "I'd like to say hey to the baddest, smartest babe, I know . . . me!" may crack you up, but it's a great way to quickly shore up your confidence. You can replace the old stale tapes located in the windmills of your mind with a great new one entitled The Greatest Love of All!

Fake It Till You Make It

Whether it's interviewing for a new job, giving a speech, or running into your archnemesis while looking less than lovely at the corner bodega, don't let the situation rock your world. Handle it.

Project strength even when you feel shaky. Begin to breathe; take deep breaths, inhaling from the nose, exhaling from the mouth. Shout down that inner voice of self-doubt and visualize yourself as a beautiful woman in control of the situation. There is something to imagining yourself as Condoleeza Rice or any other take-control woman before you give your office presentation. Hell, channel one of your personal best moments: graduation; that particular day that everything was working overtime; or any memory of you feeling great, beautiful, strong, and on top of the world. You'll not only convince others that you are in control but you'll really begin to feel that way. Look at the nervous tics and things you do when your confidence is low. Do you bite your nails, pull on your hair, or talk too fast? Break those habits now. No one will know you're feeling insecure if you don't broadcast it with nervous gestures.

Test Positive

Smell your roses while you're alive. Keep a running tally of your own greatness. Affirm, visualize, and fiercely protect your most exalted self. Here are the tools to help you maintain and bolster your confidence:

THE HYPE REPORT

Picasso dubbed Josephine Baker "the Nefertiti of Now." Orson Welles crowned Eartha Kitt "The Most Exciting Woman in the World." Lofty titles from lofty men, to be sure, but you can bet your Prada that when Jo or Eartha was feeling less than superstarish, those sobriquets cheered them up. Okay, Spike Lee hasn't put your essence into words yet, but I'll wager that your friends, family, and acquaintances have given you accolades. Of course they have, and you should record compliments and stash thank-you notes, letters of achievements, and love letters. Write down what you think is great about you and don't stint on the applause. Have fun with the hype report. List your fabulous traits in a sumptuous silk journal, buy a drawing pad and illustrate your compliments with cut-up words (from magazines and newspapers) and pictures, or just put together your own press kit, complete with "press clippings," of every glowing mention of you. Write your praises in calligraphy and tape them up to the mirror, where you can see them. Enjoy your external beauty and the manifestations of the internal. Feel free to drag out your list anytime to remind yourself that you are the bomb.

SHINING STAR

Baby, you must not be selfish. Let the whole world benefit from your incredible radiance.

-DUKE ELLINGTON

The incomparable Duke said that to Lena Horne. Yes, it's hard to believe that the legendary beauty needed a boost, but it's also another illustration that even the most fabulous of the fabulous don't always think they are the bee's knees. Heed the elegant maestro's statement. You've got something special going on and it's high time the world knew about it! Get out there and share your star power. If you can sing, take it to the stage, to the senior-citizen center, or to your friend's wedding, but don't just save it for the shower. A brilliant mind? Celebrate it, don't dumb down for anyone. Create and teach a course at the local continuing education program. They named you "motor mouth" in seventh grade? Don't hang your head, use your deft verbal skills as an MC. Hey, you can be the next Eve or simply entertain as the mistress of ceremonies for an organization's fashion show. Or volunteer as a publicist for your favorite local haunt. The point is to just celebrate the things that make you you, and do it with your head held high!

THE SUPREME TEAM

Along the road to divadom, all of the Dolls have had to pack the proverbial security blanket along with the sequined gowns in order to quell potentially crippling fears and build sagging confidence. Some blues tools that you can use:

Diana Ross believes in positive thinking tapes. "One of my greatest tools has been my positive thinking tapes. I use them constantly; they are a great source of inspiration, and I'm not embarrassed to let people know how much they inspire and assist me in maintaining my self-esteem."

Kimora Lee Simmons looks inward. "When my confidence is kind of low, I do whatever I have to do to make myself feel better. It may be a yoga class, a warm bath, or writing in my journal--anything that makes me peaceful, because I can do great work when I am peaceful."

Josephine Premice gazes into the looking glass. "I got over thinking I was ugly. A friend told me to stand in front of the bathroom mirror and repeat over and over, 'I am beautiful.' It worked. I began to feel beautiful, which is very important."

Mary J. Blige finds solace in the Bible. "I realized that my life was a gift from God and if I did not take responsibility for saving myself nobody else would."

My Life: The Remix

I don't lie. I improve on life.
-JOSEPHINE BAKER

Our girl Jo may have been the original mix master, for she gleefully rewrote and reinvented her life at will. One guess is it was partially to keep a sad and painful background hidden, and then after a while she did it simply because she could! The fab girl goes with a more modern, shall we say P. Diddyish, way of looking at her life. There is your life story, the pain, the glory, and the yawn of it. And there's the remix, which is used for the rest of the world. Now when I say remix, I don't mean outrageous lies. If you come from Baldwin Hills with two perfectly respectable accountants for parents, you don't tell people you're an orphaned princess from Tanzania who joined the circus. Save that for your creative writing course. I mean you are free to spin events that are not comfortable for you or no one's business in a manner that makes you feel empowered. You don't owe anyone and everyone full disclosure that you've taken the bar exam fifteen times or that you've revisited Bob, a poor choice for a boyfriend, fifteen times. The only exception to this rule is your physician. Ten to one, your parents don't need to know that you, ahem, were a party girl at college. Your doctor, however, does. Leave whatever you feel doesn't empower you at home. Psychologically this helps you, as you are not forced to relive a painful event, or dwell on what you perceive as a failure. For instance, while there is no shame in being fired--it happens to most people at one time or another--you don't need to give a potential employer or your ex-office mate the low-down dirty version. If your response is: "Mr. Jones/Girlfriend, I had to go 'cause my boss was a jealous, hateful shrew who always picked on me. I mean, gosh, so I came in late a couple of times and didn't do the proposal she was supposed to write, that heifer didn't have to do what she did . . ." Check the remix: "No, I am no longer at Acme, it really wasn't a fit." Notice how the remix kills all of the negatives; you're not going back down memory lane about your boss nor are you planting any negative impressions about yourself or your work habits in someone else's mind. And you told the truth; you're not working at Acme anymore. There is no rule saying that the assorted and sundry people you meet in life have to know everything. You choose who gets the privilege of knowing you inside and out.

Personal Courage

To most of us, one of the highest compliments, yet a faintly damning insult, is "You're such a nice girl." Yes, we all want to be seen as that wonderful gal who bakes cookies, supplies friends with both shoulders and Kleenex to cry on, forgives the love man's major transgressions, gives her last dollar to the homeless, and leaps from tall buildings in a single bound. Er, sure, most days you're like that, but every now and again you just want to be left alone to do your own thing, give Brotherman and the selfish friend the tongue-lashing they deserve, and, well, spend a little time with your less-than-saintly side. How do you tell people where to go and how to get there, or just tell them, "No, I prefer to clean out the fuzz in my belly button"? Lightbulb moment: Just say "No!" The word no should be used freely, especially if it is going to protect your feelings, safety, and sanity.

Manners Make the Babe

We're training them for Buckingham Palace and the White House.
-MAXINE POWELL

So decreed the Supremes' etiquette coach, referring to the endless poise, diction, and etiquette classes the singular girl group had to take. Hmm, now there's a quaint notion. Why would anyone need training in the new millennium? Baby, it's a Barnum and Bailey world. Jerry Springer antics, shot caller/baller/brawler mentality, and general ignorance seem to be the norm in all levels of society, while it appears that such qualities as poise, civility, and respect for oneself and others have gone the way of the Afro Sheen Blowout Kit. The beautylicious babe keeps it real by upholding the social graces, because she knows that good manners are the universal language. We all could brush up on matters of deportment, so I went old school for pointers from the mighty trinity of black finishing-school divas: Ophelia DeVore of Ophelia DeVore's School of Charm, New York City; Maxine Powell of Maxine Powell's Model, Host and Hostess Agency and Motown Records in Detroit; and Charlotte Hawkins Brown, educator and founder of Palmer Memorial Institute in Sedalia, North Carolina.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Read More Show Less

First Chapter

Chapter One
Queen Me

I'm a winner, baby.
-Diana Ross, Mahogany

Literary wit and bon vivant Oscar Wilde said, "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." These are the words to live by. This is the bedrock of beautyliciousness: self-acceptance. Self-acceptance and self-esteem are about being in love with you, about having the ability to truly appreciate your talents, beauty, and uniqueness, and, above all, being comfortable with yourself.

You put the bomb in bombshell. Your looks are smoldering, your personality is dynamic, and the total you is, well, kaboom! Wow! Though you may find yourself asking, "Where is that incendiary minx? Hmm, does she only come out for All Saints Day and the lunar eclipse?" Most of the time you are slinking around like a sweet but meek calico kitty, because you don't quite believe that God's been so good to you. Clearly, you're oblivious to how great you are. You're not alone. The truth is that balancing and maintaining your self-esteem is a lifelong process, one that no one is exempt from.

Trust, all of the Dolls, from Josephine Baker to Halle Berry, have had their doubts, doubters, and detractors, but they've also had their hype list, affirmations, goals, and vision. Everyone has had to learn to push past her fears and underlying thoughts of "I'm just an ashy, knock-kneed gal from Harlem" to project "I'm the cat's meow." It may not have been easy; yet they put one Ferragamo-shod foot in front of the other in a soulful strut toward their dream. Sure, you'll fall, but what separates Ms. Beautylicious from the rest of the girls is that she'll get up confident, determined, and laughing. Think of confidenceas a verb. It is an action. When you're feeling less than sizzling, do something! It takes an arsenal of mind games, affirmations, and reinforcements to appear confident when you really want to use your head for soccer practice. And, it takes grace, humility, and a bit of humor to recover from life's pratfalls. Don't worry, you'll reclaim the incendiary minx that has always been there. Use the confidence-building tools in your arsenal, but always remember Beautylicious rule number one: You rule!


Cast Down Your Buckets

So advised Booker T. Washington in his famous Atlanta conference speech. He was exhorting black folks on how to cope with racism during the turn of the twentieth century. While his advice was, in hindsight, umm, too accommodating of the racial mores of the time, it's right on time for Ms. Beautylicious. Cast down your buckets and pick up your mirror to lovingly assess your unique beauty and to start embracing yourself as you are now. Anyone can think she's ready to take over the world after her weave is sewn in or she's dropped twenty pounds, but the base of boomin' beautyliciousness is appreciating what you have now, whether it's your favorite feature or not. When you look in the mirror, know that the person reflected deserves love, fun, loads of fulfilling sex, success, Louis Vuitton bags, and all the best that life has to offer; claim these things and more as your due. And, when a flashback or a bad-hair day has rocked your fab foundation, be sure to reach for your looking glass and caress yourself. How? Try this technique, developed by therapist Carolyn Hillman in her book Love Your Looks: Show Compassion for whatever you are feeling about yourself, nonjudgmentally. Accept yourself and your appearance. Respect yourself for who you are. Encourage yourself to take the risks and the steps to achieve what you want out of life as you are now. Support yourself by believing in yourself and reassuring yourself that how you look is fine. Stroke yourself by praising yourself and giving yourself credit for trying. The love fest starts this minute!


Don't Play That Song for Me

What you say to yourself is far more important than what's going on in your life. If the CD My Greatest Misses and Disses is on perpetual random play in your head, it limits you--your talents, power, and beauty. How do you stop the litany of negativity? By replacing every negative thought with a positive one. It starts with confronting the negative thought--you know, the "I am fat, I am lazy, I am dumb" conversation that, when you think about it, some small jealous clown from sixth grade bestowed on you and you believed it. Replace that cut in your head with "I am not dumb. I am a smart girl and confident. Hell, I got it going on." The key is you have to say it out loud so that you can get the hang of it and begin to believe it. Repetition is good. Out in public and cut number five, "I am a loser," starts playing? A simple "No," said out loud (but not too loud), believe it or not, helps. It sounds like the last stand against the bogeyman, and in a way it is. No makes the offending thoughts dissolve. The real daily deal: Start talking pretty to yourself. Hips are no longer described as humongous. Nope, they're "curvy" and "cushy comfy." Give yourself a shout-out every time you pass the mirror or when a wave of doubt overtakes you. Granted, the first couple of times that you say, "I'd like to say hey to the baddest, smartest babe, I know . . . me!" may crack you up, but it's a great way to quickly shore up your confidence. You can replace the old stale tapes located in the windmills of your mind with a great new one entitled The Greatest Love of All!


Fake It Till You Make It

Whether it's interviewing for a new job, giving a speech, or running into your archnemesis while looking less than lovely at the corner bodega, don't let the situation rock your world. Handle it.

Project strength even when you feel shaky. Begin to breathe; take deep breaths, inhaling from the nose, exhaling from the mouth. Shout down that inner voice of self-doubt and visualize yourself as a beautiful woman in control of the situation. There is something to imagining yourself as Condoleeza Rice or any other take-control woman before you give your office presentation. Hell, channel one of your personal best moments: graduation; that particular day that everything was working overtime; or any memory of you feeling great, beautiful, strong, and on top of the world. You'll not only convince others that you are in control but you'll really begin to feel that way. Look at the nervous tics and things you do when your confidence is low. Do you bite your nails, pull on your hair, or talk too fast? Break those habits now. No one will know you're feeling insecure if you don't broadcast it with nervous gestures.


Test Positive

Smell your roses while you're alive. Keep a running tally of your own greatness. Affirm, visualize, and fiercely protect your most exalted self. Here are the tools to help you maintain and bolster your confidence:


THE HYPE REPORT

Picasso dubbed Josephine Baker "the Nefertiti of Now." Orson Welles crowned Eartha Kitt "The Most Exciting Woman in the World." Lofty titles from lofty men, to be sure, but you can bet your Prada that when Jo or Eartha was feeling less than superstarish, those sobriquets cheered them up. Okay, Spike Lee hasn't put your essence into words yet, but I'll wager that your friends, family, and acquaintances have given you accolades. Of course they have, and you should record compliments and stash thank-you notes, letters of achievements, and love letters. Write down what you think is great about you and don't stint on the applause. Have fun with the hype report. List your fabulous traits in a sumptuous silk journal, buy a drawing pad and illustrate your compliments with cut-up words (from magazines and newspapers) and pictures, or just put together your own press kit, complete with "press clippings," of every glowing mention of you. Write your praises in calligraphy and tape them up to the mirror, where you can see them. Enjoy your external beauty and the manifestations of the internal. Feel free to drag out your list anytime to remind yourself that you are the bomb.


SHINING STAR

Baby, you must not be selfish. Let the whole world benefit from your incredible radiance.

-DUKE ELLINGTON


The incomparable Duke said that to Lena Horne. Yes, it's hard to believe that the legendary beauty needed a boost, but it's also another illustration that even the most fabulous of the fabulous don't always think they are the bee's knees. Heed the elegant maestro's statement. You've got something special going on and it's high time the world knew about it! Get out there and share your star power. If you can sing, take it to the stage, to the senior-citizen center, or to your friend's wedding, but don't just save it for the shower. A brilliant mind? Celebrate it, don't dumb down for anyone. Create and teach a course at the local continuing education program. They named you "motor mouth" in seventh grade? Don't hang your head, use your deft verbal skills as an MC. Hey, you can be the next Eve or simply entertain as the mistress of ceremonies for an organization's fashion show. Or volunteer as a publicist for your favorite local haunt. The point is to just celebrate the things that make you you, and do it with your head held high!


THE SUPREME TEAM

Along the road to divadom, all of the Dolls have had to pack the proverbial security blanket along with the sequined gowns in order to quell potentially crippling fears and build sagging confidence. Some blues tools that you can use:

Diana Ross believes in positive thinking tapes. "One of my greatest tools has been my positive thinking tapes. I use them constantly; they are a great source of inspiration, and I'm not embarrassed to let people know how much they inspire and assist me in maintaining my self-esteem."

Kimora Lee Simmons looks inward. "When my confidence is kind of low, I do whatever I have to do to make myself feel better. It may be a yoga class, a warm bath, or writing in my journal--anything that makes me peaceful, because I can do great work when I am peaceful."

Josephine Premice gazes into the looking glass. "I got over thinking I was ugly. A friend told me to stand in front of the bathroom mirror and repeat over and over, 'I am beautiful.' It worked. I began to feel beautiful, which is very important."

Mary J. Blige finds solace in the Bible. "I realized that my life was a gift from God and if I did not take responsibility for saving myself nobody else would."


My Life: The Remix


I don't lie. I improve on life.
-JOSEPHINE BAKER

Our girl Jo may have been the original mix master, for she gleefully rewrote and reinvented her life at will. One guess is it was partially to keep a sad and painful background hidden, and then after a while she did it simply because she could! The fab girl goes with a more modern, shall we say P. Diddyish, way of looking at her life. There is your life story, the pain, the glory, and the yawn of it. And there's the remix, which is used for the rest of the world. Now when I say remix, I don't mean outrageous lies. If you come from Baldwin Hills with two perfectly respectable accountants for parents, you don't tell people you're an orphaned princess from Tanzania who joined the circus. Save that for your creative writing course. I mean you are free to spin events that are not comfortable for you or no one's business in a manner that makes you feel empowered. You don't owe anyone and everyone full disclosure that you've taken the bar exam fifteen times or that you've revisited Bob, a poor choice for a boyfriend, fifteen times. The only exception to this rule is your physician. Ten to one, your parents don't need to know that you, ahem, were a party girl at college. Your doctor, however, does. Leave whatever you feel doesn't empower you at home. Psychologically this helps you, as you are not forced to relive a painful event, or dwell on what you perceive as a failure. For instance, while there is no shame in being fired--it happens to most people at one time or another--

you don't need to give a potential employer or your ex-office mate the low-down dirty version. If your response is: "Mr. Jones/Girlfriend, I had to go 'cause my boss was a jealous, hateful shrew who always picked on me. I mean, gosh, so I came in late a couple of times and didn't do the proposal she was supposed to write, that heifer didn't have to do what she did . . ." Check the remix: "No, I am no longer at Acme, it really wasn't a fit." Notice how the remix kills all of the negatives; you're not going back down memory lane about your boss nor are you planting any negative impressions about yourself or your work habits in someone else's mind. And you told the truth; you're not working at Acme anymore. There is no rule saying that the assorted and sundry people you meet in life have to know everything. You choose who gets the privilege of knowing you inside and out.


Personal Courage

To most of us, one of the highest compliments, yet a faintly damning insult, is "You're such a nice girl." Yes, we all want to be seen as that wonderful gal who bakes cookies, supplies friends with both shoulders and Kleenex to cry on, forgives the love man's major transgressions, gives her last dollar to the homeless, and leaps from tall buildings in a single bound. Er, sure, most days you're like that, but every now and again you just want to be left alone to do your own thing, give Brotherman and the selfish friend the tongue-lashing they deserve, and, well, spend a little time with your less-than-saintly side. How do you tell people where to go and how to get there, or just tell them, "No, I prefer to clean out the fuzz in my belly button"? Lightbulb moment: Just say "No!" The word no should be used freely, especially if it is going to protect your feelings, safety, and sanity.


Manners Make the Babe

We're training them for Buckingham Palace and the White House.
-MAXINE POWELL

So decreed the Supremes' etiquette coach, referring to the endless poise, diction, and etiquette classes the singular girl group had to take. Hmm, now there's a quaint notion. Why would anyone need training in the new millennium? Baby, it's a Barnum and Bailey world. Jerry Springer antics, shot caller/baller/brawler mentality, and general ignorance seem to be the norm in all levels of society, while it appears that such qualities as poise, civility, and respect for oneself and others have gone the way of the Afro Sheen Blowout Kit. The beautylicious babe keeps it real by upholding the social graces, because she knows that good manners are the universal language. We all could brush up on matters of deportment, so I went old school for pointers from the mighty trinity of black finishing-school divas: Ophelia DeVore of Ophelia DeVore's School of Charm, New York City; Maxine Powell of Maxine Powell's Model, Host and Hostess Agency and Motown Records in Detroit; and Charlotte Hawkins Brown, educator and founder of Palmer Memorial Institute in Sedalia, North Carolina.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 17 )
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(13)

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Sort by: Showing all of 17 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 25, 2004

    I LOVE THIS BOOK!

    I was attracted to this book mainly by the cover, the title and the chapters' titles. It seemed to be a good book to read. As soon as I read this book(even before I finished) I told every friend, relative, and neighbor that I had, 'you've got to read this book'! It's amazing, truely helpful and never boring! I've told my sisters, my mother even my boss and now I'm telling you, 'YOU'VE GOT TO READ THIS BOOK'!

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted August 20, 2011

    Love

    The best book ever!

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 22, 2004

    Every Sistah Should Own This Book!

    This is one of the greatest beauty and well-being books written by an African-American author. The writer's expertise in the area of beauty is also a great plus. When I walked into Barnes and Noble the book just jumped off of the shelf. It has a quirky little cover that all females, regardless of color, would enjoy. If I could I would purchase this book for every sistah girl in the world. But I could only afford 5 copies, so take my advice and buy the book! You will love it and if not you could always give it as a gift to someone who wants to appreciate the finer things in life.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 10, 2004

    Must read for the fashionable diva-in-training!

    This was a great read, I found it to be insightful, captivating and very informative. For the sisters who like to be 'in the know', this is the book for you. The author delivers quality and interesting advice, examples and suggestions that I personally found very helpful. Ms. Raines' 'in your face' style made all of the information this book had to offer equally enjoyable and believable! The timeless tips will serve you well for seasons to come!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 4, 2004

    Really Great Read!!!

    I think Ms. Raines is a brilliant writer. This is a must have for the college set as well as young women who are on their way to becoming the ultimate in the realm of BEAUTILICIOUS-NESS!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 25, 2003

    A must have for all Beautylicious women of the world...

    Beautylicious is more than just a how-to fab guide... It is an undercover self-help text for when your feeling just a little too fat or your hair is just a bit off. With great illustrations and a darling cover, no one will ever think that YOU are learning to love yourself and all the great elements of being a Black Woman... Kudos to Rayne!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 30, 2013

    Fabuless

    I have hazole eyes and people tell me tht im ugley bu i know im fine any wz i gose. Do any body know how to hook up dis thang whith dis nook texting thang. If u do please sind me a massege on the book dork diary

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 26, 2012

    Anonymous September26, 2012

    This is a great book i wish it was free so i could read the whole thing bit the sample tell you a little about the book

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 27, 2012

    Awesome

    This is a great book

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 2, 2011

    MOM

    i need it! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 5, 2006

    Sister to Sister

    I absolutely love this book im gonna get copies for all my friends. It is the perfect book for a young college girl trying to find what makes her special in her own way.....YES!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 7, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 10, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 15, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 29, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted April 17, 2012

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 17, 2010

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