07/29/2019
Trans activist Stein, a former member of the Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn, plainly recalls her strict childhood and struggle to come out as transgender in an uneven debut that’s more focused on religion than identity. Stein, born in 1991, was her parents’ first “boy,” though she always secretly believed she was a girl. For Hasidic boys, “every minute spent on anything other than Jewish studies is wasted time,” Stein writes, focusing her narrative on her study of the Torah and Talmudic laws. One of the most captivating sections concerns her first sexual experiences, as a teenager with a male classmate. Her recollections of their clandestine encounters have more depth than later chapters, which feel oddly rushed as they recall life-altering moments (her marriage to a woman named Fraidy, the birth of their son when Stein was 20, her exit, in the last chapter, from the Hasidic community). It is only in the epilogue, set in 2015, that Stein comes out as transgender to her father, who rejects her, and mentions that she has started hormone replacement therapy. This is a valuable story but a frustratingly structured one; readers who wish to learn about Stein’s life as a transgender woman won’t find a wealth of detail here. (Nov.)
"Becoming Eve is a powerful, heartfelt account of the often fraught journey toward one's true self. In sharing her story, Abby Chava Stein lights the path for all of us who are embarking on journeys of our own."—TOVA MIRVIS, bestselling author of The Book of Separation, The Ladies Auxiliary, and The Outside World
"Becoming Eve is a beautiful, haunting story of self-discovery. Her longing for truth, acceptance, and love will echo in the heart of every reader."—LEAH VINCENT, author of Cut Me Loose: Sin and Salvation After My Ultra-Orthodox Girlhood
"Becoming Eve is a powerful, moving story of grappling with both gender and faith. Abby Chava Stein is a compelling storyteller who shows us how to follow the voice within—even when everyone and everything around us is telling us not to."—DANYA RUTTENBERG, author of Surprised By God and Nurture the Wow
"'No agenda, just my story,' Abby Stein writes in the prologue to her fascinating memoir. And yet, her book delivers on a very definite agenda: helping us empathize with experiences radically different from our own. With humor and grace-and impressive erudition of Jewish mysticism-Abby Stein grants us entry into a singular, otherworldly capsule: the byzantine world of Hasidic 'royal' families and the Sisyphean pursuit of living an authentic life within it.—SHULEM DEEN, author of All Who Go Do Not Return, winner of the Prix Médicis and the National Jewish Book Award
"Abby Stein's soul-searching memoir grabbed me at the epigraph and never let me go. While religion is certainly a central element in the story, Becoming Eve is just as importantly about a different sense of faith: a belief in life's transformative potential to culminate in joy."—SUSAN STRYKER, professor of gender and women's studies, Emmy Award-winning filmmaker, and author of Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution
"Becoming Eve is a vivid journey through Abby Stein's formative years in the Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community as she struggles to find a more inclusive expression of her faith and learns to embrace her identity as a woman of trans experience."—SARAH VALENTINE, author of When I Was White
"Not only is Abby a trailblazer and ridiculously inspiring—she's a really talented writer. Becoming Eve is not to be missed."—Alma.com
"The harrowing and inspiring story of the exploration, discovery, and acceptance of her truth, both body and soul."—Publishers Weekly
"Born into an ultra-Orthodox Jewish family, it was always expected that Abby Stein would become a leader in the Hasidic community. But Abby, born a male, knew at a very young age that she identified as a woman. Eventually, she broke free of her community's and family's expectations to become the person she wanted to be."—Parade, 'Memoirs You Need to Be Reading Now'
"A transgender woman recounts her evolution from a male-born child in the ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community to a thriving independent activist in this coming-of-age memoir."—Kirkus
"A valuable addition to the body of transgender literature."—Booklist
"The book gives readers a frank look at what it was like to come of age misgendered in one of the world's most gender-segregated societies. More so, it's about Stein becoming the woman she is and about her finally being able to embrace Judaism on her terms."—Times of Israel
"A frank account of an exceptional life. Stein is a gifted writer, full of grace and compassion."—Jewish Journal
2019-09-11
A transgender woman recounts her evolution from a male-born child in the ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community to a thriving independent activist.
In this coming-of-age memoir, Jewish educator and trans activist Stein describes her birth in 1991 as a firstborn son following five older sisters from parents who descended from rabbinic dynasties. She recalls a childhood steeped in staunch Hasidic theology in New York; she was forbidden from indulging in any cultural, historical, artistic, or other "spurned" activities. Throughout her youth, the author internally identified as female—she recalls how, at age 4, she became angry that she had a penis—and this frustration caused behavioral issues and depression in grade school and beyond. Stein gracefully describes an attraction "tingle" for a fellow male classmate when she was a teenager, which led to a nascent forbidden love and a much-awaited departure from her overly protracted childhood. Despite this clandestine interaction, the author still feared the consequences of going against the grain, so she proceeded, as tradition and gender roles dictated, to marry a woman at age 18 and bear a son at 20. Soon after, Stein became overwhelmingly frustrated by the state of her true identity. "It started punching me in the face," she admits. Consequently, she began the transitional process toward abandoning her Orthodox faith and becoming female, two decisions she knew were considered "deplorable" in the eyes of the Hasidic community. In the final chapter, the author chronicles coming out to her father (and his abrupt rejection) and her plans to become Abby. Unfortunately, these pages skimp on details about her post-transition lifestyle once she left the Hasidic community. Jewish readers focused on Stein's rabbinic upbringing, Talmudic cultural experiences, and the significance of studying the Torah will find a wealth of emotionally limned anecdotes. However, the author's life as a woman without familial support or reliance on the Jewish community receives too little attention.
A sometimes-illuminating yet unbalanced journey into true identity and out of the Hasidic faith.
Abby Stein narrates her engrossing memoir of growing up in the insular Ultra-Orthodox Hassidic Jewish community in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Stein’s Yiddish accent connects listeners more deeply with her upbringing in a large family strongly bound by rabbinic traditions. The author’s openhearted account of struggling with heightened expectations to perform as a male while coming into her own as a trans woman within a highly gendered culture illuminates intersectional challenges. Possessed of a keen, restless intellect, Stein candidly discusses how immersing herself in Jewish academic and cultural traditions distracted her from difficult questions surrounding gender identity and personal dreams. Stein’s journey includes the heartache of losing loved ones while also discovering an affirming and supportive community. An essential and hopeful production. J.R.T. © AudioFile 2020, Portland, Maine
Abby Stein narrates her engrossing memoir of growing up in the insular Ultra-Orthodox Hassidic Jewish community in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Stein’s Yiddish accent connects listeners more deeply with her upbringing in a large family strongly bound by rabbinic traditions. The author’s openhearted account of struggling with heightened expectations to perform as a male while coming into her own as a trans woman within a highly gendered culture illuminates intersectional challenges. Possessed of a keen, restless intellect, Stein candidly discusses how immersing herself in Jewish academic and cultural traditions distracted her from difficult questions surrounding gender identity and personal dreams. Stein’s journey includes the heartache of losing loved ones while also discovering an affirming and supportive community. An essential and hopeful production. J.R.T. © AudioFile 2020, Portland, Maine
