Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl [NOOK Book]


Is Something Missing in Your Life? Lysa TerKeurst knows what it’s like to consider God just another thing on her to-do list. For years she went through the motions of a Christian life: Go to church. Pray. Be nice. Longing for a deeper connection between what she knew in her head and her everyday reality, she wanted to personally experience God’s presence. Drawing from her own remarkable story of step-by-step faith, Lysa invites you to uncover the spiritually exciting life we all yearn for. With her trademark wit ...

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Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

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Is Something Missing in Your Life? Lysa TerKeurst knows what it’s like to consider God just another thing on her to-do list. For years she went through the motions of a Christian life: Go to church. Pray. Be nice. Longing for a deeper connection between what she knew in her head and her everyday reality, she wanted to personally experience God’s presence. Drawing from her own remarkable story of step-by-step faith, Lysa invites you to uncover the spiritually exciting life we all yearn for. With her trademark wit and spiritual wisdom, Lysa will help you : * Learn how to make a Bible passage come alive in your own devotion time. * Replace doubt, regret, and envy with truth, confidence, and praise. * Stop the unhealthy cycles of striving and truly learn to love who you are and what you’ve been given. * Discover how to have inner peace and security in any situation * Sense God responding to your prayers The adventure God has in store for your life just might blow you away.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780310395515
  • Publisher: Zondervan
  • Publication date: 9/22/2009
  • Sold by: Zondervan Publishing
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 38,737
  • File size: 646 KB

Meet the Author

Lysa TerKeurst is the New York Times bestselling author of Made to Crave and Unglued. She isn't shy about admitting what a mess she can be. But she's been learning God's lessons and sharing them on her blog ( and in her books. Lysa is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and writes from her sticky farm table in North Carolina where she lives with her husband, Art, five kids, three dogs, and mouse that refuses to leave her kitchen.



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Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl

By Lysa TerKeurst


Copyright © 2009 Lysa TerKeurst
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-310-33880-2


Trying to Be Good Enough

I'm not sure when I first felt I wasn't good enough, but my earliest stinging memory of it happened while tumbling about a skating rink full of elementary school kids. I was a fifth grader wrapped in a less-than-desirable package. My mind's eye could see gorgeous possibilities for my frizzy brown hair and buck teeth. If only my mother would let me dye my hair blonde and get it professionally straightened, if only I could convince my dentist to replace my crooked teeth with gleaming false ones perfectly sized and aligned, my world would be wonderful. The boys would start sending me notes with little boxes for me to check yes or no. I would be confident and fulfilled.

But my mother had neither the money nor the vision for my plan. So, there I sat watching the cute boys couple skating with the cute girls while Rick Springfield's smooth but edgy voice belted out "Jessie's Girl." (And for those of you who are wondering who in the world Rick Springfield is, I am so sad you missed out on the delight called '80s music.)

I fidgeted with the laces on my skates hoping to send a very clear message: the only reason I wasn't couple skating was that I had a slight equipment malfunction. But in my heart, a false perception was cutting deeper and deeper into my soul with every beat of the Rick Springfield song.

The false perception was rooted in this one flawed thought: You, Lysa, are not acceptable the way you are.

Have you ever let that flawed self-perception negatively affect you? It sent me into an identity crisis as my mind swirled with possible solutions: Since you aren't acceptable, you must find some things upon which to hitch your identity. Since it is not possible for you to be "Lysa, the cute girl," you must become something else.

"Lysa, the smart girl." Or maybe "Lysa, the responsible girl."

"Lysa, the rebel." "Lysa, the good friend." "Lysa, the dork." "Lysa, the student body president." "Lysa, the loser."

Lost in a flood of thoughts, I saw these labels less and less like opportunities and more and more like prison cells. People label and categorize so they can define who fits where and with whom, but I had neither the spiritual depth nor the mental maturity to break free. So, trying to become more acceptable, more worthy, more loveable became my pattern, and worrying about what others thought of me a consuming, often condemning way of doing life. Their opinions were my measuring stick by which to answer the question, "Who am I?"

Lost in Labels

Eventually the frizzy-haired, buck-toothed girl grew into a young woman. Braces had fixed the teeth. And "the bigger, the better" styles of the '80s proved kind to people with hair like mine. I had boys asking me out and, thanks to a silly pop culture book called The Official Preppy Handbook, I figured out my own version of being cool. Life was finally lining up as I had always dreamed it would. Only I still didn't feel secure in who I was. The things I tried to do to define my identity kept shifting. I was someone's girlfriend, but then we would break up. I was a good student, but then I'd make a bad grade. I was responsible, but then I pulled a stupid stunt and wrecked my car. Who I thought I was one day fell apart the next.

On top of my adolescent issues, I also was haunted by hurts from my childhood. When I was eight years old, a man who was like a grandfather sexually abused me over a period of three years. Then, when I was eleven, my father walked out on my mother, my sister, and me. I felt totally abandoned. My parents wound up divorcing, and my mom was forced to work two jobs to try to make ends meet. These events left me completely lost.

Desperate to help my sister and me, one Sunday my mom announced we'd be adding a little churchgoing to our life's equation. So, with a dress and a Bible we headed off to the large, white-steepled building. I liked the idea of having a religion and having the rules of the Christian game so clearly laid out before me. It was like God was a vending machine. I put in what was required, and then He was supposed to give me what rule-following people deserved. As long as I kept up my end of the deal, God would bless me. I became "Lysa, the good girl."

Life settled a bit. My mom eventually got remarried to a wonderful man who loved me and my sister as his own. They decided to have more children, which completely thrilled the entrepreneurial spirit within me. Babysitting jobs abounded, and my parents paid well.

My sister and I welcomed a sister a few days after my fifteenth birthday. Then another sister was born the day of my senior prom. I got all dressed in my long black gown, fixed my hair extra big, donned a rhinestone necklace, slipped a flower corsage around my wrist, then headed to the maternity ward to greet my mom and my newest baby sister. What a great pre-prom activity, if you know what I mean. We got off the elevator right at the nursery window and peeked in at all those products of love.

I'll never forget seeing Haley for the first time. She had beautiful, big, blue eyes and black hair curling in every direction. I loved each of my sisters, but the minute I saw Haley my heart melted as never before. Maybe it was because I was eighteen and technically old enough to be her mother. Certainly the summer that followed found me toting Haley around as if she were my very own.

Soon it was time to pack up and head for college. I said my goodbyes, lingering a little longer over Haley. With my trusty electric-blue Firebird packed to the brim, and my parents following closely behind, we made the eight-hour trip to my new home away from home.

I saw college as the chance to completely reinvent who I was. No one there knew of my nerdy past, my absent father, the horrendous abuse, or my lack of a skating partner in the fifth grade. So I became what I thought would bring me great fulfillment and happiness: "Lysa, the popular sorority girl dating the popular football player."

At last I had it all. I had love and beauty, popularity and success, freedom and a plan for my future. Oh yes, and I had my religion.

The Failure of Religion

Then one night I got a call from my mom that changed everything. Her urgent tone made my pulse race and my hands shake. Haley was sick. Very sick.

I drove through the night, and by the time I got to the hospital, Haley was in the intensive care unit. My parents had been told that her liver was failing and she would not survive without a transplant. I kicked into high gear making deals with God. That's what religious people do, I reasoned. I'll be better. I'll follow the rules more closely. I'll be kinder. I'll give more to the church. I'll attend more regularly. I'll sacrifice whatever You require, God ... just save my sister.

Haley was transferred to a children's hospital in another state, where shortly thereafter she received a new liver. She made it through the first scary, post-surgery days and soon seemed to be completely on the mend. God was answering my prayers!

Since summer had arrived again, I was able to spend quite a bit of time with Haley as she recuperated. Weeks passed, Haley grew stronger every day, and the time came for me to head back to college for my sophomore year.

I remember well my last night in the hospital with her. Wanting to memorize all of her features, I let my eyes trace every detail. I kissed her chubby cheeks and her small, cold feet. I placed my finger against her hand and watched as each of her fingers curled around mine. And I prayed more deals with God. Deals that involved me getting to have many more nights to rock her and sing lullabies in the dark.

Then it was time to go. With one last promise to visit real soon, I returned to my college life.

Back at school, I called my mom every morning to ask how Haley was doing. Her progress continued. I was keeping up my end of the bargain with God, and He was keeping His. Religion was indeed a fine addition to my life.

But my view of religion and rule-following and making deals with God shattered two weeks afterward. I'd called my mom as usual that morning to ask about Haley. My mom was silent. Not understanding, I asked the question again ... and again. Finally, in a voice so slight I could barely hear her, she whispered, "Haley is finally all better, Lysa. She went to be with Jesus this morning."

Anger I never knew existed erupted from some deep place within me. Life's unfairness strained against my religious perceptions and the dam of my soul burst wide open. I snapped. With my fist raised toward heaven, I vowed I would never love God, serve God, or believe in God again. I had tried to be good enough to earn His love but just as my earthly daddy had done, I felt as though my heavenly Father just turned away. "Lysa, the good girl" would no longer be my identity.

My flawed ideas of God would only let me love Him when He did good things. I couldn't compute how He could have let Haley die. Other heartbreaking things had happened in my life, but this was different. The other things I'd been through were caused by flawed people. But Haley's death couldn't be pinned on a person. God had allowed it. He heard my cries. He watched me promise her everything would be okay as I sang her those lullabies. He saw her pain. And He just let her die? I could not sort through this and find anything that made sense.

At Haley's funeral, I remember mentally closing my heart off to God, letting my hurt and disillusionment take over. The thought that I wasn't good enough was more than just a feeling. It had become the filter through which I processed life.

My daddy couldn't love me.

God couldn't love me.

I was desperate to be loved.

So, I found men who told me they loved me.

Until then, I'd saved myself for marriage. It was a religious rule I'd carefully followed. But my bitterness toward God numbed my conscience and helped pave the way for rejecting many of my religious convictions. Life became a wild party full of temporary moments of happiness. The deeper I sank into this lifestyle, the more desperate I felt. It wasn't long before I found myself sitting in an abortion clinic realizing I'd made a terrible mess of my life. Now I was "Lysa, the girl who walked away from God and had an abortion." I went home that day horrified at who I'd become.

My Bible Friend

Ironically, at this time when I was so very far from God, I had a close friend who loved the Lord with every fiber of her being. I not so affectionately referred to her as my "Bible friend," because she got on my nerves with her constant Scripture quoting. No matter what issue someone had, she was ready with a verse to help. Have a headache? She had a verse for that. Break up with your boyfriend? She had a verse for that too. I would have dreams of her chasing me around ready to whack me on the head with her very large Bible.

But something about her made me want to remain friends with her. Though her Scripture quoting could be annoying, something about it was endearing, the purest form of honesty. In addition, she modeled what it meant to live the Word and not just quote it. There was a stark difference between religion as I understood it and what she called her relationship with God.

Though she had no idea of the junk I was dealing with, she was tenderly responsive to God's promptings. One especially dark and tearful day, I received a card from her. It would have been my due date. The day I would have been welcoming a new life into the world was filled with feelings of death, darkness, and hopelessness. I knew as soon as I saw the handwriting what would be in store for me if I opened the envelope ... another Bible verse. Sure enough, Jeremiah 29:11 was beautifully scripted across the front of the card: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

I wanted to toss the card aside, but something kept me focused on that verse. I read it over and over again. It was as if my name had been inserted there. "Lysa, for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Lysa. Plans to give you, Lysa, a hope and a future."

How could this be? This statement stood in such stark contrast to my flawed perception of being identified by my circumstances. This verse painted a possibility that the God of the universe loved me not for what I did right but simply because I was His. A child for whom He had great things planned. I didn't have to be the child of a broken parent; I could be a child of God.

In that moment I didn't know how to properly accept Jesus. I didn't know the right Scriptures to turn to. Even if I did have a list of verses to pray through, I wouldn't have been able to find them in the Bible. I didn't have all the answers, and I knew for certain I had not been "good enough." But something deep in my soul was stirring with assurance that this message was from God Himself and His words in this verse were truth.

Even an atheistic heart like mine couldn't run from this truth. When God made me, He left His mark deep inside. His fingerprints covered my soul—no wonder His truth resonated within me. I simply couldn't deny it. There was just one word I knew must be uttered in response to the God of the universe, pausing in this moment just for me.


Wrapped in that yes was the acknowledgment that God did exist, that He loved me, and that I wanted Him—not a religion—in my life in a way I'd never had before. I wanted so much more with God.

It would take me many years to completely define and understand everything that yes meant. We'll get to more of my story as this book unfolds. But the initial yes was a step toward God. A step out of the darkness that blinded me. A step toward the light of truth. A step toward my true identity that wouldn't shift or fall apart under life's strains. A step toward becoming "Lysa, a fulfilled child of the one true God."

Interestingly enough, the rest of that verse shook my soul to attention: "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:12–13). The words "I will listen to you" and "you will find me" made God seem so personal, so touchable, so interested in a relationship with me. Me? The child of a father who didn't want me or love me is loved and wanted by the mightiest of kings, the Lord of all lords, the God of the universe, my heavenly Father!

Beyond the Christian Checklist

Learning to seek God with all of your heart is what I hope you are inspired to do as you move forward. Seeking with all of your heart requires more than just the routine Christian good girl checklist:

[check] Pray.

[check] Read the Bible.

[check] Do a Bible study.

[check] Go to church.

[check] Be nice.

[check] Don't hold a grudge against boys who didn't ask you to couple skate in the fifth grade.

Okay, well maybe that last one is just my issue. But you catch my drift.

I want my life with Jesus to be fulfilling. I want my beliefs to work no matter what life throws at me. I want to be so certain of God's presence that I never feel like I have to face anything in my own strength or rely on my own perspectives. My strength will weaken during hard times. My perspectives get skewed by my emotions.

I want total security no matter what happens. In other words, I want my relationship with Jesus to be enough to keep me sane and together and still fully devoted. Is this possible? True fulfillment no matter what?

Fulfillment means to be completely satisfied. How might our lives look if we were so filled with God's truths we could let go of the pain of our past, not get tripped up by the troubles of today, or consumed by worries about tomorrow? Sound impossible? It is impossible when we try to make it happen on our own by doing more good Bible study girl things. Praying, reading the Bible, doing another Bible study, going to church, and being nice are wonderful and necessary. But just going through the motions of these activities will not fill our souls. They must be done with the great expectation and heart cry for God to lead us into a deeper and more life-changing connection with Him.

Ask a group of Christian women what makes them feel fulfilled and chances are they'll answer you with things that they do. But true fulfillment is never found in seeking to do enough, be enough, have enough, know enough, or accomplish enough. "Enough" is elusive, always just slightly out of reach. Many of us know this, but still we continue the same patterns of trying to be good Bible study girls—hoping that if we do it long enough, fulfillment will somehow fall within our grasp.

Excerpted from Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst. Copyright © 2009 Lysa TerKeurst. Excerpted by permission of ZONDERVAN.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents


Introduction....................     11     

PART 1: BECOMING MORE THAN A GOOD BIBLE STUDY GIRL In My Heart............          

1. Trying to Be Good Enough....................     17     

2. Flitting To and Fro....................     27     

3. When I Feel Like I Don't Measure Up....................     37     


4. Beyond Sunday Morning....................     47     

5. Devotion Time Blues....................     57     

6. Unlikely Lessons from a Pineapple....................     69     

PART 3: BECOMING MORE THAN A GOOD BIBLE STUDY GIRL In My Relationships....          

7. She Likes Me, She Likes Me Not....................     83     

8. But I Want What She Has....................     93     

9. Cross My Heart and Close My Mouth....................     103     

PART 4: BECOMING MORE THAN A GOOD BIBLE STUDY GIRL In My Struggles........          

10. When My Ugly Comes Out....................     119     

11. How Jesus Helps Me Get My Groove Back....................     129     

12. When God Hurts My Feelings....................     139     

PART 5: BECOMING MORE THAN A GOOD BIBLE STUDY GIRL In My Thoughts.........          

13. What Do I Do When I Don't Feel God?....................     149     

14. Learning to Simply Like Me....................     159     

15. A Glorious Sense of Possibility....................     167     

PART 6: BECOMING MORE THAN A GOOD BIBLE STUDY GIRL In My Calling..........          

16. Finding God in Unlikely Places....................     183     

17. Praying the Dangerous Prayers....................     193     

18. Forever....................     203     

Notes....................     211     

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 22 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 19, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Superwomen Draw Strength From Above

    Modern Christian wives and mothers are expected to wear a lot of different hats these days. The image of the 1950s housewife is a far cry from the go-getters of today. Wives and mothers can take care of children, households and husbands, all while running a business and chairing the PTO. Somewhere in the hustle and bustle of modern life, women often lose track of their most important source of strength, their relationship with Christ. For all the conveniences the modern age brings, it brings headaches as well, and many women find themselves in a never-ending rat-race of house cleaning, nose wiping and soccer games.

    It is important for women to take time to meditate on the Word and spend personal time with God. Author, speaker, wife and mom, Lysa Terkeurst understands this lack of spiritual mediation all too well. Terkeurst is the author of a dozen best-selling Christian women's books, and the president of Proverbs 31 ministries.

    Despite her insanely busy schedule, however, Terkeurst not-quite-expertly handles the day-to-day business of life with a sense of good humor and peace that could only be a by-product of a strong relationship with Jesus Christ, and a healthy view of herself in His plans. In "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl', Terkeurst explores the phenomena that is the life of the average Christian wife and mother. First published by Zondervan in October 2009, 'Becoming More.' is a light-hearted, yet insightful book about Christian life for women.

    Terkeurst puts herself on the same level as her readers immediately, by sharing anecdotal stories about her life, and how it relates to her message. This down-to-earth approach is engaging and is a running theme throughout the book. From an abortion in her early twenties to a brownie catastrophe as a mother, Terkeurst relates both painful and humorous details of her experiences and how they each led her to her eventual complete dedication of her life to God's work.

    Terkeurst plainly states in the introduction of 'Becoming More.' that she wishes to convey to women the power of a strong walk with God in their lives, and how giving up being strong, independent women and learning to be completely dependent on God is not giving up, rather it is claiming a strength born only of grace. Terkeurst does this excellently, eliciting a desire on behalf of the reader to be more proactive in their spiritual walk.

    For the busy supermom of today, 'Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl' is not only a lighthearted, buoyant read, but moreover it is an inspired, compelling guide to re-establishing a meaningful, fruitful Christian life.

    7 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 6, 2011

    Delivers as Named

    I was truly inspired to be and instructed how to be more than just a good Bible study girl. Excellent book. I've been a Christian all my life and every once in a while need a little help to keep going, and this was it.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 11, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    A Book with a Title That Says It All

    If you are weary from the routine-oriented Christian path, it is perhaps because you have yet to experience the true miracle of a close connection with God, an understanding of what He has ready for you in this moment and on this earth. It is possible, of course, to move from one day to the next simply going through the motions of Christianity, which would necessarily involve prayer, service attendance, and generosity. But does that yield any degree of fulfillment when it comes to knowing God and experience Him personally and on a daily basis. Lysa TerKeurst's newest book, Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl, is offered as a retreat from this manner of Christian living and offers insight into the ways in which we personally can develop a closer and more intimate connection with the Lord. Based upon her personal experience, the book seeks to inform readers of there true potential as Christians. TerKeurst highlights points that provide you with an outlet for growth and transformation on many levels. It may be what God has in store for you anyway. TerKeurst is a recognizable figure in the Christian community. Not only is she an accomplished an award-winning author of faith-based works, but she is also the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and co-host of its national radio program, which has hundreds of thousands of subscribers. Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl will be an excellent reading for anyone who wishes to expand their understanding of what it means to be truly Christian or for readers who seek answers to the questions of God's reason for placing you on this planet. It is a truly engaging read that will bring you into a deeper and more meaningful awareness of God's plan for you.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 2, 2011

    Such an amazing book.

    Wow! All I can say is Wow!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 22, 2012

    Excellent and highly recommended!!!

    She is open, honest, funny, and real. Quit living a checklist life of christianity and move to an everyday relationship with God actively seeking Him in all we do! Loved it!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 6, 2011

    Great read!

    This book has some wonderful insights about incorporating Biblical concepts into everyday to enrich your life and those around you.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 6, 2011

    Excellent Choice

    Purchased this book at a store closing and found it to be a really great deal. As a regular podcast listener of the Proverbs 31 Ministry I was delighted to find the author's book.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 11, 2011

    great book

    I read this as a bible study with the dvd and study guide book. I learned a lot of bible stories and how to relate them to my life. Lysa has a way of writing that keeps you reading and wanting to learn more.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 22, 2013

    making an impact

    doing this study in our church's womens group and really enjoying it. She makes you laugh and gets you thinking.

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