Becoming Real: Defeating the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back

Overview

In this refreshing and unique book, Today Show psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz shows how to pinpoint, deal with, and eliminate the debilitating baggage that stands in the way of success. Through revealing and intensive questionnaires, Becoming Real helps identify the symptoms that lead to repetitive self-defeating behaviors and provides essential tools for becoming a stronger person-in love, friendship, career, and in life-with a newfound confidence.

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Overview

In this refreshing and unique book, Today Show psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz shows how to pinpoint, deal with, and eliminate the debilitating baggage that stands in the way of success. Through revealing and intensive questionnaires, Becoming Real helps identify the symptoms that lead to repetitive self-defeating behaviors and provides essential tools for becoming a stronger person-in love, friendship, career, and in life-with a newfound confidence.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Saltz, an assistant professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital appears who weekly on the Today show, provides a guide to a kind of narrative unconscious as it affects decision making. The author says that most people live according to stories about care and need that were created in childhood to help them stay attached to and feel safe with adults who often failed to give what was needed emotionally. Saltz finds five major groups of stories about oneself and others, and names them by their distinguishing traits: dependent, super achiever, self-defeater, competitor, perfectionist. Such descriptors, she finds, lodge in the unconscious and result in self-destructive or nonproductive behavior in relationships and at work, as each type (or a combination of several) is used as a shield to fend off emotional stress. To move beyond these early stories to a more satisfying life, Saltz recommends that one clearly articulate the "old story" and its cost to one now, and then "rewrite" it and act accordingly. Although the author's instructions for undergoing this process are specific and clear, this is not a quick fix self-help book, but is based on psychoanalytic technique that will take time and commitment. Agent, Marly Rusoff at Marly Russof & Associates. (May 10) Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781594480829
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Incorporated
  • Publication date: 6/28/2005
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 796,052
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Gail Saltz, M.D., is a mental health contributor to the Today show and is a contributing editor for Glamour magazine. She has appeared on Dateline, on CBS News and the Early Show, and on Fox News and Health News, among other television shows, and has been featured in the Associated Press, the New York Times, the New York Daily News, the New York Post, the Los Angeles Times, New York magazine, Newsweek, Harper's Bazaar, Redbook, Woman's World, Town & Country, and WebMD.

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Table of Contents

Introduction 1
Chapter 1 The Power of What We Don't Know 9
Chapter 2 The Primary Emotional Stories 27
Chapter 3 How Stories Keep Us from Our True Selves 46
Chapter 4 Every Story Creates a Personality Type: Find Yours 61
Chapter 5 When Your Story Defeats You 96
Chapter 6 Turning Pain into Progress 114
Chapter 7 Four Steps to Defeating Your Story 141
Chapter 8 Defeating the Dependent Story 155
Chapter 9 Defeating the Superachiever Story 163
Chapter 10 Defeating the Self-Defeater Story 172
Chapter 11 Defeating the Competitor Story 179
Chapter 12 Defeating the Perfectionist Story 188
Chapter 13 Ten Roadblocks to Authenticity 198
Chapter 14 Being Real 224
Acknowledgments 239
Index 243
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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 13, 2005

    Awesome, awesome book!

    I've read many self-improvement books, but this one is simply outstanding (perhaps one of the very best). Gail Saltz is able to explain the most common inner thoughts, human behaviors and emotional stories in such a clear, compelling and easy manner, that taking control over our own circumstances appears achievable and even fun to do. Gail Saltz is able to eliminate the fear that usually involves digging into our own emotional history and encourages change. Excellent book!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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