Read an Excerpt
Who ever said dating is a drag? Not a woman with the right attitude. And the right information. Getting (and keeping) a man would be easier for all women if they had an understanding of his inner workings, and the sooner the better. It's true--information really is power! And we all have the power to bedazzle a man if we're armed with the right info from the start.
But don't stress out already--getting the inside scoop on your man's basic character is easier than you think. There are no embarrassing interviews, snooping, or guessing involved--you just need to get his birth date! Knowing the astrological sun sign a man is born under gives uncanny insight into what's really going on in there. Sure, you've heard of astrology, but did you ever think of its capacity to empower you with the information you need in the romance department? If not, you have a fun ride ahead of you.
This guide was written for the girl who is looking for a certain kind of man or wants to bedazzle a man she has just met or already knows. And not just for one night (let's hope no gal needs advice for that), but for the long term. It's also handy for the woman who wants a realistic picture on how well she can get along with a certain guy and the long-term potential she can hope for. One girl might not want to even begin dating a man with personality traits that will annoy the hell out of her, no matter how sexy he seems today. Another one might fall in love with a certain sun sign and pray she finally bumps into a man born under it! This book will mean different things to different women, but just about everyone should get something fun and useful out of it.
To keep things simple, you only need to deal with a man's sun sign, which provides enough insight into the man you want. Besides, it's the only astrological information that's easy to get. Sure, having the entire birth chart is ideal, but how many women out there have the time or skills to make and interpret a chart for each man they meet? And how many women out there are willing to make themselves look ridiculous by demanding a man's exact time and place of birth, which is what a birth chart requires?
Using this book will help you better understand the man you want and the best way to bedazzle him. Of course, it won't always be a hundred percent correct (a sun sign is still very general), but it will definitely give you enough information to plan the best love strategy. So get busy and start reading--the dating game just got easier!
Get That Info!
"So, what's your sign?"
Pose this question on your first date and you won't be asked for a second one! The truth is, most men are suspicious of women who are into astrology. Not because they don't believe in it themselves, but because it immediately sends up a red flag. (Is this girl unstable? Weird?) This is not the way you want to begin a potential relationship!
But the other truth is that the answer to this notoriously stale pickup line is actually the most important piece of information a woman can have in her quest for successful dating. Still, there's absolutely no reason a man has to be made aware of this reality. Just allow your potential love interest to flounder in his ignorance while you shrewdly gather information about him that will empower you. He'll never know what hit him!
But how do you find out his sign if you cannot ask him? Well, there are dozens of clever ways for getting that info. A few ideas...
1. When he takes out his wallet to pay for lunch, ask if you can look at his driver's license. ("Oh, can I see your picture? It's funny how most people look nothing like themselves on ID's.") Smile innocently while you pretend to study his photo. But store that birthday info directly into your computer brain, and don't make a mistake, because one wrong number can throw you completely off track. Excuse yourself for the ladies' room, then grab a pen and scrawl the birthday onto anything--scratch paper, a book, the palm of your hand.
2. Mention that your best friend's birthday is coming up and that you might plan a surprise party. Then you can ask if he's ever been given a surprise birthday party. If he says no, you can say something like, "Oh, were you one of those people who had a summer birthday, when everyone was on vacation?" He might say yes, and since you're already on the subject, you can ask, "When?" He'll give you the date, then you can utter that your cousin has the same birthday and then quickly move on to a new subject. Now, if he answered no to your question, you can casually ask when it is. As long as you are on the topic of birthdays, he should not get suspicious.
3. If none of this works, you could just ask him his birthday (but not while you're on a romantic date). Just say your best guy friend in high school looks and acts exactly like him and it'd be interesting to see if he has the same birthday.
If you try any of the above methods (or one of your own inventions) and the guy immediately asks if you are "into" astrology, deny it at all costs! "What? I don't even know what sign I am." Something like that.
It's true you might meet a guy who is actually fascinated by astrology (there are probably more than you think) and who would delight in sharing his pertinent information. Still, it's best to keep a low profile until you really get to know him.
Finally, you have the magical date! The next thing to do is see which sun sign it falls under (the dates are listed in each chapter). Just be careful of the first or last date of each sun sign--either might be off by one day. The fact is that a sun sign never begins at the exact same moment each year. One year, the sign of Taurus might begin at 9:20 P.M. on April 19, and the next year at 5:16 A.M. on April 20. Unless you have the exact time and place of birth and a special computer program or an ephemeris (okay, this is getting too technical), you cannot know for sure.
Still, two adjacent signs are so different from each other that you should be able to tell which one your guy falls into. Observe the man, listen to how he talks, listen to what he says, look at how he dresses, how he holds himself, how he chooses to spend his free time, etc. It just takes a little intuition to know which of the two signs he is and which one he definitely is not. When you're sure you know your man's sun sign, just find the appropriate chapter and read on.
By the way, some people born on the last days of a sun sign display its characteristics less strongly than those people whose birthdays fall at the very beginning of a sign, when its "energy" is at its most pure. Probably the reason is that the last days of a particular sign begin to lose their power as they ready themselves for the induction of the following one. These people born at the end of a cusp might draw in some personality traits of the next sign, so their character ends up being more of a blend of two signs. Still, there's really no absolute rule. A man born on the last day of Leo can appear even more "leonine" than a man born on the first day, so you never know.
When Opposites Attract
It's true that some men are attracted to women who are fundamentally the opposite of themselves. Maybe this attraction exists because there are things about their own character that they don't like (or even hate). Or maybe they seek someone who will complement, rather than exaggerate, their own qualities. Maybe they are just looking for a woman who will help bring out another dimension in themselves. And sometimes they find her.
Then there are always the guys who are excited by "difficult" girls, ones who cause friction, or ones who present a bigger challenge because they're so different and hard to figure out. Unfortunately, this dynamic scenario often fizzles out after the infatuation period, especially when these two people have absolutely nothing in common (though it can lead to better self-understanding for both parties). As in Gone With the Wind, Ashley Wilkes would have loved to bed Scarlett, but he wed Melanie. Big difference.
As you read this book, you'll learn how each sun sign coupling is rated ("Best Bets," "Why Not?", and "Challenging") based on the potential for a long-term relationship (and not a spring fling or a fatal attraction). The prevailing logic is that an enduring and successful relationship works best when there is mutual understanding and similar attitudes between two people, so the best matches are between signs that have at least something in common. (But not necessarily too much in common, as is the case with same-sign pairings, which often lack dimension or are "too much of a good thing.") Still, "challenging" combinations of signs can work together...but it will be work a lot of the time. If you're patient and flexible enough to make the appropriate compromises, maybe you should give it a try. Whatever happens, it could be more interesting than a relationship with no sparks.
Anyway, the compatibility rating is just a general indication of the love potential for two signs. What's clearly more important is how you personally feel about the general character of a particular man and how well you can get along with him, regardless of your own sign. If you can only love a certain kind of man, then maybe he's meant for you, even if you are supposedly incompatible. (Ideally, you can be objective about the true potential between you.) You know better than anyone else who is right and wrong for you, so let your intuition guide you when in doubt.
Who Are You, Anyway?
Included in each sun sign chapter is some enlightening info on what behavior works and doesn't work ("Dos and Don'ts") with the men of that sun sign. There's also a handy fashion section that not only describes a man's general preferences for female fashion, but gives insight into his attitude toward clothes and shopping, which for some girls out there are major life issues. Again, it's all info you can use to your advantage, and even if you choose not to make sweeping changes in your own comportment to bedazzle a certain man, at least you'll get a better idea of where he's coming from. (So that's why he hates to kiss in public!) Maybe more important is the realization that a certain guy is simply not for you. Why waste time on a man who could never appreciate the type of woman you are?
Then again, what "type" of woman are you, really? Isn't it possible there may be hidden facets of your personality that have yet to be drawn out? It seems that most women are much more complex than they realize. A girl who always thought of herself as adventuresome and independent might really crave stability and guidance deep down inside. Or another, who was resigned to her fate as the modest librarian type, might discover that she does, indeed, have a latent glamorous streak that is dying to get out. The inspiring truth is that different men can draw out different aspects of ourselves, ones we never expressed or even acknowledgedit's really fascinating. And the benefit in staying open to exploring the different kinds of women you can be is that you might discover things about yourself you were not even aware of. You might even become a happier person for it. So have fun and experiment with different looks and "personalities" if you feel like it--you might have some big surprises in store for you! (And that doesn't exclude appealing to a much wider group of men out there.)
Still, as you're brushing up on your table etiquette for the new Capricorn man in your life, never forget about the magical nature of love. To this day, nobody has come up with the secret recipe for love, even though we all know that a certain chemistry just has to be there. Knowing a man and the kind of woman he likes cannot "invent" chemistry and magic--it can only steer one in the right direction for potential love and understanding. But that's already a notable step.
A Little Technical Stuff
Most men reflect their sun signs, but there will be a few who don't seem to fit it at all. This may happen when their rising sign is fundamentally different from their sun sign (for example, a man with a Taurus sun sign and Aquarius rising sign), or when they have a bunch of planets in another sign (a man with a Taurus sun sign and five planets in Gemini). Now, this may already be getting too technical for you, but the point to remember is that many factors come into play that can modify the sun sign. (See "Quick and Easy Explanations," below.)
If you really want to know a guy well, it would help to know his rising and moon signs. For whatever reason you happen to fall upon this information, study the corresponding chapters and incorporate these signs into his sun sign.
For example, take a man with a Taurus sun sign, Virgo moon sign, and Aquarius rising sign. He will still be a Taurus and therefore be fond of stability, money, affection, and good living, but his Virgo moon may add a critical and analytical element to his emotions, and his Aquarius rising will color his typically conservative Taurus nature with more individuality and eccentricity.
Okay, this might already sound confusing to some, so be happy to know that the sun sign is all you need to understand the broad strokes of a man. In time, you'll discover the other hidden parts of him that a natal chart might have pointed out. And hands-on experience is always more fun than textbook learning!
From the Trade Paperback edition.