The Best of the Show: A Classic Collection of Wit and Wisdom

( 1 )

Overview

- "The Show" is the second most widely-read column in Sports Illustrated, after Rick Reilly, who will write one of the book's introductions. Sports Illustrated has over three million subscribers, the third highest magazine circulation in the United States, and is read by 23 million adults each week.
- The Best Of "The Show" will appeal to fans of Rick Reilly's Life of Reilly (Total/Sports Illustrated, 2000) and Bill Geist's Fore!Play (Warner, 2001), both of which were ...
See more details below
Paperback (Reprint)
$19.99
BN.com price
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (17) from $1.99   
  • New (4) from $15.93   
  • Used (13) from $1.99   
The Best of The Show: A Classic Collection of Wit and Wisdom

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$9.99
BN.com price

Overview

- "The Show" is the second most widely-read column in Sports Illustrated, after Rick Reilly, who will write one of the book's introductions. Sports Illustrated has over three million subscribers, the third highest magazine circulation in the United States, and is read by 23 million adults each week.
- The Best Of "The Show" will appeal to fans of Rick Reilly's Life of Reilly (Total/Sports Illustrated, 2000) and Bill Geist's Fore!Play (Warner, 2001), both of which were bestsellers.
- Scheft was the Emmy Award-nominated head monologue writer for David Letterman for 13 years and routinely appears on the air with him. He is a frequent guest on the talk show circuit and on sports radio programs all over the country.
Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
Scheft, formerly a writer for David Letterman and a columnist at ESPN magazine, as well as a published novelist (The Ringer), began his humorous weekly column, "The Show," for Sports Illustrated in 2002. Collected chronologically in this volume are 112 of his pieces, annotated with further comments, updated information, and more jokes. A section titled "The Cuts," which should impress aficionados, contains jokes that did not make it into print the first time around. Sports enthusiasts who enjoy reading the columns in Sports Illustrated will be on familiar ground throughout, whatever sport Scheft may be remarking on. Additionally, Scheft's background as a stand-up comic and monolog writer means that many of his jokes will be considered funny by those who do not think of themselves as sports fans. Larger public libraries with humor or sports collections will want to purchase.-Katherine E. Merrill, SUNY at Geneseo Lib. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780446695619
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
  • Publication date: 4/22/2008
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 248
  • Product dimensions: 8.50 (w) x 5.50 (h) x 0.56 (d)

Meet the Author

Bill Scheft
Bill Scheft

Bill Scheft is the author of The Ringer and The Best of the Show: A Classic Collection of Wit and Wisdom. He spent eleven years as head monologue writer for David Letterman. He lives in New York City.

Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

The Best Of The Show


By Bill Scheft

Warner Books

Copyright © 2005 Bill Scheft
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0-446-57807-X


Chapter One

THE SHOW

ELS WEATHERS BRITISH Before the fourman, four-hole playoff began, Ernie huddled with his psychologist, Jos Vanstiphout. He was very supportive. I believe his exact words were, "Who do I look like, Harvey Penick? Just don't cough it up like you did against Retief Goosen and embarrass me!"

Jos Vanstiphout. That's the sound the membership board at Augusta makes when a woman approaches the clubhouse.

The tournament was full of surprises. Are you like me? Are you wondering if Tiger is suddenly using a Nike kryptoniteshafted putter?

Woods shot an 81 on Day 3, the worst 18 holes of his pro career. He played so badly that midway through the round, the Swedish nanny ducked into the scoring tent with Soren Hansen.

Brutal weather for Round 3. On the bright side the flowers on Duffy Waldorf 's shirt and hat needed the rain.

Monty shot an 84 last Saturday. By the third hole he was reprimanded by course marshals for heckling himself.

ALLEN IVERSON AWAITS THE ANSWER The NBA All-Star was arrested on four felonies and 10 misdemeanors. None of the charges count as team fouls.

If convicted on all counts, Iverson faces a maximum of 65 years in jail. And his cousin gets two shots and the ball on the side.

Actually, it's 65 years, or 12 seasons with the Grizzlies.

Sixty-five years in prison. However, his lawyers are working out a deal to get it reduced to life in Reeboks. The latest incident began when Allen allegedly threw his wife out of the house naked. That would make her the first member of the Iverson family left uncovered.

Iverson's no dummy. He's going to show up in court with Bennett Salvatore and Bernie Fryer to protect him.

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL CELEBRATES 16 STRAIGHT WEEKS WITHOUT A BOUNCED CHECK Despite reports to the contrary, Devil Rays managing general partner Vince Naimoli says his team is not desperate for cash. Of course, he said it while selling candy bars at the entrance to the Tampa Mall.

The balance of power in baseball is still lopsided. The Yankees placed Roger Clemens on the 15-day disabled list. Then, for insurance, they offered $6 million to the Blue Jays to acquire Roy Halladay's groin.

The Cardinals traded for veteran lefty

Chuck Finley. Not to be outdone, the Reds acquired the only person who can hit him- Tawny Kitaen.

The Indians are going through with a July 27 promotion in which they'll give out baseball cards of former Tribe's pitcher Bartolo Colon. And there are still seats available for Aug. 4 -Albert Belle Bobble-Hip Doll Night.

By the way, midnight July 31 is the insider trading deadline for Martha Stewart.

MARTINA HINGIS DATING SERGIO GARCIA She has only one complaint: He stands over her too long.

ROLAND LATINA, RAWLINGS'S "GLOVE DOCTOR," PASSES AWAY AT AGE 78 There is no truth to the rumor he was tied up with string, soaked in a bucket of water and buried under a 14-year-old's mattress.

My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy Blood, Sweat and Tears.

THE NOTES

Jos Vanstiphou This was the last thing I came up with for my first SI column. I love this formula, which Johnny Carson did for years as Carnac. My favorite: "The answer: Constantin Chernenko. The question: What is the sound a fat man makes sliding across a linoleum floor?"

Allen Iverson Awaits the Answer Timing is everything. It was a huge break to get this story the first week. The details were odd, you had a hugely public figure and 99% of the charges were dropped. It raises the question: What phrase do you think Allen Iverson has heard more, "Nice shot," or "Do you mind if we ask you some questions?"

"Glove Doctor" I learned to write obituary jokes while working for Dave Letterman. The one I remember is about the guy who invented the multiplex movie theater. His funeral was at 11:00, 1:15, 3:30 and 6:00.

THE CUTS

How about those course conditions at Muirfield? It rained so much Saturday, they had to dump out the Claret Jug three times. Remind me to fax this to Bob Hope if he's doing any gigs in heaven.

U.S. Post Office raises first-class stamp to 37 cents. Thanks a lot, Lance. Lance Armstrong was about to win his fourth straight Tour de France. He was sponsored by the U.S. Postal Service. But still and all, this is a stretch.

THE BAND

An explanation: I started doing this to end my columns at ESPN Magazine. It was kind of a salute to my years as a comic opening for bands and singers. That's how you'd get offstage: "My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy Jay and the Americans!" Just to be safe, for this first column, I went with a well-known group that evoked some sports-like images. That was the last time I did that. From now on, it'll mostly be residents of the "Where are they now?" file. I will include their one or two hits, just to jog your memories. If they had any more than two, you probably won't see them here.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from The Best Of The Show by Bill Scheft Copyright © 2005 by Bill Scheft . Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 1 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(1)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 8, 2013

    Buy tickets here!!!!

    Leave you name and any questions here. Thank you, -the jokester

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)