The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me [NOOK Book]

Overview

Follow one woman's bumpy, cellulite-riddled ride through size-0 Hollywood and learn how she went from body-dysmorphic to sassy-asstastic in only twenty-five short years of dieting, thousands of dollars in "procedures,". . . and one pair of industrial-strength Spanx.

From the best girlfriend you didn't know you had comes this "I Can't Believe She Said That" guide to life in the real world. Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl ...

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The Best Thing About My Ass Is That It's Behind Me

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Overview

Follow one woman's bumpy, cellulite-riddled ride through size-0 Hollywood and learn how she went from body-dysmorphic to sassy-asstastic in only twenty-five short years of dieting, thousands of dollars in "procedures,". . . and one pair of industrial-strength Spanx.

From the best girlfriend you didn't know you had comes this "I Can't Believe She Said That" guide to life in the real world. Actress and comic Lisa Ann Walter dishes about parenthood and the dangers of girl-on-girl snarking, explains why skinny actresses act crazy, and gives riotous advice on everything from the dating mistakes we all make to ten things you should subtract when you weigh yourself (self-tanner and dental work, for starters . . .).

So what do you get when you drop a longtime self-loather into the glitz and glamour of Hollywood? This hysterical, and brutally honest, look at the impossible standard of perfection for which so many of us strive. Walter boldly shares her lifelong struggle with low self-esteem—which, in her case, includes plenty of painful auditions, failed relationships, and awkward celebrity encounters, plus lots of impossible diets, questionable injectables, and dubious cosmetic procedures. Along the way, the "celebrity adjacent" Walter also tells her sometimes warm, often cringeworthy, and always funny Hollywood stories (including the reason she'd kill for Richard Gere).

She also shares her sage advice by offering features such as ways to improve your self-esteem that won't cost you a dime:

Four words:

Push-up. Bra. Construction. Site. You don't even have to look good to get a response. Just wear sunglasses, square your shoulders, and toss your hair. Then count the whistles.

Start frequenting your local gay bar. Both gays and lesbians are much more effusive about how fabulous you are! And you'll get free drinks!

Always be seen with decrepit old men—you'll look young and beautiful in comparison. Think how well this works for those Girls Next Door.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062090645
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 5/17/2011
  • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 256
  • File size: 9 MB

Meet the Author

From the absurd to the earnest, nothing is offlimits! But most of all, this is the fierce and fearless story of how one woman faced her body-image challenges and insecurities, took on the most competitive business around, and realized that she—like women everywhere—deserved to feel beautiful. Lisa Ann Walter is an actress, comic, and television creator and executive producer of programs including Oxygen network's Dance Your Ass Off. Best known for her work in movies like The Parent Trap, Shall We Dance, Bruce Almighty, and Killers, she is also a well-known name on the standup comedy circuit. She lives in Los Angeles with her four children—one foot firmly planted on the red carpet . . . the other in Costco.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 6 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 2, 2013

    Great!!

    This is one of the funniest books I have ever read. She is so open and honest about her feelings, and she makes some wonderful points. I loved this book, and plan to give it for gifts to several of myBBFs.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 21, 2013

    I liie it

    It was a really good book so read it you well like it. Sorry i have to go my mom calling me. So chat me back thinks

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 3, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted September 11, 2013

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 31, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews

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