Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate

by Gabrielle Hartley, Elena Brower

Overview

An accessible guide to navigating the challenges of divorce that combines practical legal advice with yoga and meditation practices.

"Potent, accessible tools for your family and your future." —GwynethPaltrow

"Think of it as the conscious uncoupling how-to." —People

What if you emerged from your divorce stronger and more resilient than ever before? While many of us may be better together, some can actually become better apart. Marital strife and divorce can be your chance to profoundly transform yourself, your mindset, and your relationship with a more harmonious and steady vision. Better Apart is the first book to combine practical advice and legal wisdom with the life-changing, healing power of meditation and yoga aimed at helping anyone going through the painful and seemingly intractable realities of divorce.

Gabrielle Hartley and Elena Brower are warm and caring guides who can help you compassionately detach from your partner. Whether your separation is amicable or your ex is combative, Better Apart can help you find peace, calm, and hope. Gabrielle and Elena are experts and realists who created a simple five-step process that uses effective mediations, perspective-shifting exercises, and fresh suggestions to help navigate the common legal and emotional pitfalls of divorce. Don't worry if you've never tried yoga or mediation: Gabrielle's insight buttressed by Elena's lessons are accessible for all. Together, they show you how to meaningfully shift your perspectives and to move forward though any—or all—parts of this emotionally fraught process whether you're in mediation or you find yourself in high-conflict litigation.

Better Apart radically reframes the way couples experience, execute, and recover when "for better or worse" is no longer an option, and helps you find the road to a better life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062689429
Publisher:	Harper
Publication date:	02/27/2024
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	244
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Gabrielle Hartley served as co-chair of the American Bar Association Mediation Week Committee and is a member of the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation, the Hampshire Bar Association, and the New York Bar Association family law section. Gabrielle’s works and contributions are available across media channels including the Woolfer and Thrive Global, and she has been quoted as an expert on television, podcasts, and in the New York Times, U.S. News and World Report, and New York Post. She divides her time between NYC and Northampton, Massachusetts, where she lives with her husband and three sons. Learn more about Gabrielle’s online services including mediation, strategic legal consulting, representation, and the Better Apart Professional method for divorce practitioners at gabriellehartley.com.

Elena Brower is a mother, teacher, author, and speaker who has taught yoga and meditation since 1999. She is the bestselling author of Practice You: A Journal, and her first book, Art of Attention, has been translated into six languages. Elena has contributed to Yoga Journal, Huffington Post, Yoga International, MindBodyGreen, Well+Good, Positively Positive, and other outlets. Practice with Elena on elenabrower.com.

Table of Contents

Invitation and Welcome ix

Pause-Are You Sure You Need a Divorce? 1

Chapter 1 Designing Your Elegance: Dissolve the Myths, Once and for All 5

Chapter 2 Patience: Slowest Is Quickest 17

Chapter 3 Respect: The Stories We Tell Ourselves 45

Chapter 4 Clarity: So You Can Perceive What Else Is Possible 65

Chapter 5 Peace: Finding Calm Within the Chaos 87

Chapter 6 Forgiveness: Letting Go and Moving Forward 113

Chapter 7 Need-to-Know Divorce Basics: The Elegant Approach 137

Chapter 8 Don't Let Money Move You: Defining Your Emotions, Desires, and Needs 159

Chapter 9 Parenting Forward: The Legacy You Will Leave 185

Chapter 10 Really, We're Better Apart 207

Acknowledgments 219

Resources 223

Editorial Reviews

Potent, accessible tools for your family and your future.” — Gwyneth Paltrow, New York Times Bestselling Author and Founder of GOOP

“Addressing the practical, emotional, and spiritual, Better Apart is a major paradigm shifter. As a child of divorce, the lessons within this book resonated deeply with me and I’m hopeful for the future of separating families who’ll have access to this wisdom.”
— Kate Northrup, bestselling author of Money: A Love Story

“By encouraging parents to forget perfection and establish clear rules and workable schedules, this book demonstrates that some families can truly be better apart.” — Dr. Sharon Saline, clinical psychologist and author of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life

“Gabrielle and Elena provide a warm and thoughtful approach to divorce that includes both legal wisdom and healthy psychological principles. Their discussion of custody and co-parenting leads you on the path toward a calmer and happier future for you and your children.” — Robyn Landow, PhD, psychologist and parenting coordinator

"Gabrielle inspires and educates with a practical, accessible approach, empowering readers to think beyond blame, shame and anger, and instead focus on personal growth, financial integrity and a peaceful reorganization of the family unit. This book is a must read for those looking for a roadmap to a better, happier, healthier life Post-divorce."   — Marcelle Kott, Esq., Partner, Berger Schatz, Chicago, IL

“Better Apart is my top recommendation for anyone who is wrestling with the “divorce” question but feeling shame or fear around it. Gabrielle sets out a do-able approach to not just survive divorce - but thrive emotionally, financially and spiritually in life after separation. Her thoughtful but practical book lays out a roadmap for using “crisis” as a unique opportunity for mindful living and personal growth. An amicable divorce truly is possible and Gabrielle lays out the steps to get there without sacrificing your well-being." — Erin Levine, Esq. CFLS, CEO of Hello Divorce and Levine Family Law Group 

From the Publisher

Potent, accessible tools for your family and your future.

Gwyneth Paltrow

"Gabrielle inspires and educates with a practical, accessible approach, empowering readers to think beyond blame, shame and anger, and instead focus on personal growth, financial integrity and a peaceful reorganization of the family unit. This book is a must read for those looking for a roadmap to a better, happier, healthier life Post-divorce."  

Marcelle Kott

Addressing the practical, emotional, and spiritual, Better Apart is a major paradigm shifter. As a child of divorce, the lessons within this book resonated deeply with me and I’m hopeful for the future of separating families who’ll have access to this wisdom.”

Kate Northrup

Better Apart is my top recommendation for anyone who is wrestling with the “divorce” question but feeling shame or fear around it. Gabrielle sets out a do-able approach to not just survive divorce - but thrive emotionally, financially and spiritually in life after separation. Her thoughtful but practical book lays out a roadmap for using “crisis” as a unique opportunity for mindful living and personal growth. An amicable divorce truly is possible and Gabrielle lays out the steps to get there without sacrificing your well-being."

Erin Levine

By encouraging parents to forget perfection and establish clear rules and workable schedules, this book demonstrates that some families can truly be better apart.

Dr. Sharon Saline

Gabrielle and Elena provide a warm and thoughtful approach to divorce that includes both legal wisdom and healthy psychological principles. Their discussion of custody and co-parenting leads you on the path toward a calmer and happier future for you and your children.

Robyn Landow