Better Off Dead

Better Off Dead

4.0 141
by H. P. Mallory

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From New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author, HP Mallory, Comes BETTER OFF DEAD, the first book in the Lily Harper series!

If there’s such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn’t have it.

Killed in a car accident before it’s her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn’t exactly what she hoped it might


From New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author, HP Mallory, Comes BETTER OFF DEAD, the first book in the Lily Harper series!

If there’s such a thing as luck, Lily Harper definitely doesn’t have it.

Killed in a car accident before it’s her time to go, Lily learns that the hereafter isn’t exactly what she hoped it might be.

First, there’s AfterLife Enterprises, the company responsible for sorting out the recently dead and sending them on their way to the Kingdom, (aka happily ever after,) or to the Underground City, (not so happily ever after.) Learning that Lily’s death was indirectly their fault (her guardian angel, Bill, was MIA during her accident and was one of their employees,) Afterlife Enterprises offers Lily the chance to live again. But, as with most things involving the afterlife, beware the fine print. Most notably, Lily will have to become a soul retriever, venturing into the bowels of the Underground City to retrieve souls that were mistakenly sent there by Afterlife Enterprises during a Y2K computer glitch.

Second, there’s angel Bill. As if risking her second life in the Underground City wasn’t enough, Lily’s guide to the Underground is none other than her incompetent, alcoholic, womanizing guardian angel, Bill, the antithesis of anything wholesome. With only Dante’s Inferno and Bill to help her in her quest, Lily’s future isn’t looking bright.

Finally, there’s the legendary bladesmith, Tallis Black. As Scottish as his kilts and heavy brogue, Tallis Black is a centuries-old Celt who, for reasons only known to him, offers to train Lily and act as her escort into the depths of the Underground City. Dark, brooding and definitely dangerous, Lily knows she shouldn’t trust Tallis, but she also can’t deny her attraction to him.

Between soul retrieving in hell, dealing with Bill and trying to figure out what’s in it for Tallis, Lily wonders if maybe she would’ve just been better off dead.

Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble
Toil and Trouble
Be Witched (Novella)
Witchful Thinking
The Witch Is Back
Something Witchy This Way Comes

To Kill A Warlock
A Tale Of Two Goblins
Great Hexpectations
Wuthering Frights
Malice In Wonderland
For Whom The Spell Tolls
Eleven Snipers Sniping (Short Story)

Better Off Dead
The Underground City
To Hell And Back
The Bladesmith (Novella)

Ghouls Rush In
Once Haunted, Twice Shy
Big Easy Murder (Novella)

The Scent
Blood Lust (Novella)

Product Details

HP Mallory
Publication date:
Lily Harper Series , #1
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Sales rank:
File size:
320 KB
Age Range:
18 Years

Meet the Author

I started my writing career as a self-published author and was lucky enough to hit both the Amazon and the Barnes and Noble bestseller’s lists with my two series, the Jolie Wilkins series and the Dulcie O’Neil series. After hitting both lists, I thought life couldn’t really get much better so you can imagine my surprise when Random House (Bantam imprint) signed me to write three books in the Jolie Wilkins series (Witchful Thinking, The Witch is Back and Something Witchy This Way Comes). Now I love the fact that I’m both a traditionally published author as well as a self-published one (with my Dulcie O’Neil series). And even more cool news? The books in both series are currently being made into audio books! Stay tuned for more information… When people ask me what I’m like, it’s sort of hard to answer but here goes… I’m a huge fan of anything paranormal and I always have been. I get super excited whenever they have those Twilight Zone Marathon days and anything ghost or vampire related will always attract my attention. My interests are varied but aside from writing, I’m most excited about traveling. Uncovering new places and learning about different cultures is pretty incredible. I feel extremely fortunate to have been able to live abroad in England and Scotland, both places really having a profound effect on my books.

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Better Off Dead 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 141 reviews.
SammyjSS More than 1 year ago
I almost didn't want to leave a review just because I am a huge HP Mallory fan. I was really looking forward to the start of a new series by her but I have to admit I am a little disappointed. Bill Angel is ridiculously over the top. I get that he is supposed to be that way but it got annoying quick. I love the Scottish setting, but with so much of the dialogue written to reflect Tallis Black's dialect, it was incredibly distracting. It was fine when Mallory did it with Odran in the Jolie series but he had much fewer lines. Tallis is one of the main characters and with a book like this, I'd like to be able to just let my eyes glide over the page without having to reread sentences. However Tallis' way of talking ruined that experience for me and became a huge hinderance while I was reading. Other than that, I really enjoyed the book. I think this series has the prospect of being funnier than her other two and I am excited to see where Lily ends up. I just wish HP would let us use our imaginations while reading for Tallis. I've ready many books where the characters were from Scotland or another place with a heavy dialect and the words were still written normally. Just my two cents as an avid reader and again, huge HP fan. Thanks for the fun read :) 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Different but a very enjoyable quick read. .
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was really drawn into this story. It doesn't have quite the same feel as the Dulcie and Jolie stories, but the storyline fascinates me. Bill can be a bit annoying, but I really enjoyed the others. If only the third book was about to debut, since I'm all ready working on the second in this series. I'd definitely recommend this story. Some language, violence,and innuendo, but no sex, for those that worry about that.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Couldn't believe this was free. Her books are always great fun to read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was so not worth the wait. It was a disappointing 200 pages of unlikable characters. Bill is so annoying and over the top. The dialect for Tallis is hard to follow. I understand that this is the way he talks but it made it tedious to read and I felt committed to have to finish. This was definately not the page turners that the Dulcie and Jolie series was.
tennylle76 More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed this book...not as much as the other series, but it was good. I wanted to give it 3 1/2 stars. At times, I got a little confused by Tallis' words and Bill, though sort of adorkable, got on my nerves a little. I liked the story, and I look forward to the next one! I'm sure that Lily and friends will grow on me!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
HP is a great writer! Her books are filled with funny characters that you make you feel like you know them. Follow her and the characters on Facebook!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was initially excited to see a free HP Mallory book, but the accent for the main character was ridiculous. It kept pulling me out of the book. Otherwise, a cute and light read with just enough science fiction to keep me interested. Side-note: didn't like how into her new body this girl was. Not a big deal, but wouldn't you want to look like as close to yourself as possible? The idea of a permanent stranger in the mirror is chilling.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Tallis Black was an interesting character but I am not as thrilled with Lilly's guardian angel. I will say it was a quick read but I really preferred her first two series with Jolie and Dulcie.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Not sure if this is a YA series but if it isn't it should be. Except for Tallis the characters are thin and the story a little more than fantastical in a teeager mentality kind of way. If you really suspend your disbelief, it's a quick read that's kinda of fun. Would rather read a book built around Tallis Black though not Lily Harper.
SpaZd0gLee More than 1 year ago
Wish they'd have a 1/2 star to add, as while it's not really a 4 star for me, it was a bit more than 3. Characters were interesting, colorful in not only words but in description. Nice twist on the life after death job scenario, and I will be interested in seeing further adventures with Lily, Tallis and Bill as well as what other adventures she'll have trying to retrieve souls, and how their characters will grow. Bill's words and phrases, while mostly crass and crude, sometimes are just LOL funny indeed. Ambisextrous....snicker....
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A delightful read. Imaginative and entertaining. Left me wanting to read Book 2 immediately. Wickedly humorous with a hint of romance.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The plot is different and exciting. All the main characters are likable and have that realistic quality that makes books in this genre great. Bill is such a comic relief. Tallis is the sexy alpha male. And Lily is the unlikely hero. I really enjoy this rag tag trio. My only compliants are some formatting issues that showed up in my ebook. Not grammar just some spacing issues and the like....The book was also short.
NookaholicAC More than 1 year ago
I have loved the Jolie and Dulcie series...Lily Harper, not as much. My problems with the book is that I didn't really bond with Lily. A lackluster character so far. Black's dialect is very hard to understand. I had to go over it a couple times to understand the English meaning. And... Bill the angel. He is a bit over the top. I found parts of the book a bit boring, and did some skimming. All in all, it was just ok. I will probably buy the 2nd because once I start a series, I am a bit vested in the characters. However, if the 2nd doesn't GRAB me, I will let this series go, and anxiously await for another HP series
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I could not but this one down for the life of me. I cant wait for the next one! Keep up the great work HP you've got me hooked!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
H.p always has great reads.
cparkes More than 1 year ago
H.P. Mallory never disappoints me with her novels. "Better Off Dead" left me wanting more when I was finished. I can't wait for book number two in the Lily Harper series!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Very different. No romance, but an interesting concept.
Anonymous 7 months ago
Good book, more original . I liked that the main character wasn't gorgeous at first, her angel Bill was hilarious, but need to drop Talis's accent, it got to be a little much. Not any romance, but I liked the action & the humor. I liked this better than some of her other series in which the main character was so perfect every male wanted her. This was a refreshing change!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Sodapop74 More than 1 year ago
This book was awesome! Yes, I know that sounds juvenile, but I have no other words to describe it! I love Lily, she is spunky and willing to do what she needs to do to keep herself from going to Shade. Tallis is a great character too and I hope we learn more about him. I also love her guardian angel, Bill, he is raunchy and nasty and just fun!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I stopped reading ten pages after bill was introduced. I have never stopped a book befofe in my life but bill is so terrible and over the top i couldnt be bothered to continue
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
You people should just read this novel yourselves and write your own review on this novel. I really enjoyed reading this novel very much. ShelleyMA