Between Mothers and Sons: The Making of Vital and Loving Men

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Raising a son can pose unique challenges for a mother. There is frequently a sense of unity and familiarity between mother and daughter due to shared sexual identity. But a son's physical, emotional, and psychological development differs vastly from that of a daughter's, and even though the mother-son bond is the foundation of all female-male relationships, there have been surprisingly few books available to equip mothers to understand their sons fully. Between Mothers and Sons will break the long silence ...
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More About This Book

Overview

Raising a son can pose unique challenges for a mother. There is frequently a sense of unity and familiarity between mother and daughter due to shared sexual identity. But a son's physical, emotional, and psychological development differs vastly from that of a daughter's, and even though the mother-son bond is the foundation of all female-male relationships, there have been surprisingly few books available to equip mothers to understand their sons fully. Between Mothers and Sons will break the long silence surrounding mother-son relationships to help mothers successfully negotiate this complex and important tie. This groundbreaking book from acclaimed psychologist Dr. Evelyn Bassoff shows that mothers can - indeed, must - raise sons in a way that acknowledges and validates their maleness to help them become strong, loving men. At the heart of a boy's path to manhood lies his need to separate psychologically from his mother. With great clarity and sensitivity, Dr. Bassoff explains why this difficult separation is necessary, and how mothers can remain nurturing presences in their sons' lives during this transition. She explains the differences between raising sons and daughters, the important role a father (or, in the absence of a father, a strong male surrogate) plays in a son's life, and how mothers can support and celebrate their sons' masculine energy, whether it manifests itself in a love of playing football or playing piano. Dr. Bassoff also illuminates the varied demands of raising sons for married and single mothers, stepmothers, and mothers of gay sons. Drawing upon the best available research and theory in psychology, as well as myths, legends, her experience raising her own son, and the personal stories of clients and friends, Dr. Bassoff offers an articulate, flexible, humanistic approach to the process of raising sons. She speaks with wisdom, insight, and compassion about the joys and frustrations of their relationships, and provides an invaluable per

This groundbreaking book confronts the many issues facing mothers today, including single mothering, stepmothering, and raising a gay son. With remarkable insight, Dr. Bassoff uses the latest research, personal experience, myth, legend and fiction to provide a thoughtful and compassionate look at one of the most important relationships in women's and men's lives.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Despite the current fashion for raising boys and girls as free as possible from sexual stereotypes, recent research, argues this book, shows that boys and girls are just not the same. In her pioneering new work, Bassoff ( Mothers and Daughters ) uses a combination of psychological studies, myths and legends, personal ancecdotes, popular culture and common sense to examine the profound influence of mothers in shaping their sons' identities. It is important, she urges, that a mother aid in her son's inevitable separation from her. She discusses the differences between the sexes, the importance of a positive male role model in a boy's life and how a mother's response to her son's sexuality influences his ability to relate to the opposite sex in adulthood. Also included is advice for single mothers, as well as for mothers of stepsons and gay sons. This book is an important addition to the fields of parenting and psychology. (Sept.)
Library Journal
Clinical psychologist Bassoff, a Parents' Magazine columnist and author of two books on mother/daughter relations (most recently, Mothers Ourselves: Help and Healing for Adult Daughters, Dutton, 1992), focuses here on the less studied but equally complex relationships that exist between mothers and sons. Bassoff blends anecdotes and literary examples with the latest theoretical research. She presents a clear and accessible discussion of various mother/son situations, including those involving two-parent families, single mothers, stepmothers, and mothers of gay sons. Throughout, the author encourages mothers to accept and enjoy the differences of gender that they will inevitably encounter and stresses the importance of providing sons with strong male figures. Despite her slight tendency to generalize about what is characteristically "male" or "female," Bassoff has written a book that mothers of boys, young and old, will want to read: for insights, for affirmation, and for joy. Recommended for public library parenting collections.-Linda Cullum, Lake Superior State Univ. Lib., Sault Ste. Marie, Mich.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780525938330
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Incorporated
  • Publication date: 9/28/1994
  • Pages: 272
  • Product dimensions: 5.87 (w) x 8.75 (h) x 1.06 (d)

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