Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children with Severe Behaviors

( 13 )

Overview

Heather T. Forbes and B. Bryan Post address some of the most pressing and challenging issues faced by parents of children with histories of disrupted attachments.

The authors have the ability to strip away the fog surrounding these troubled relationships, exposing the reality of children's reactions and dysregulated responses to the past traumatic experiences that so often underlie their difficulty in making close, affectional bonds.

This ...

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Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love Based Approach to Helping Children With Severe Behaviors

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Overview

Heather T. Forbes and B. Bryan Post address some of the most pressing and challenging issues faced by parents of children with histories of disrupted attachments.

The authors have the ability to strip away the fog surrounding these troubled relationships, exposing the reality of children's reactions and dysregulated responses to the past traumatic experiences that so often underlie their difficulty in making close, affectional bonds.

This clarity illuminates their therapeutic intervention in a manner that allows parent and child to hold onto the strategy, as they are caught up in the whirlwind of challenging behavior during the painful process of change.

The authors address in detail the child's trauma (often associated with the adoption process), and they also address the painful struggle of the parents when a challenging child exposes the parents' own vulnerabilities to memories that they may have suppressed of their own past experiences.

The immense value of this book is the clarity and simplicity of the authors' working model; the price of this clarity is that the hard truth is exposed with such intensity that some may shy away from facing reality and not benefit from their undoubted insights.

The psychotherapeutic intervention described by the authors involves clinicians tapping into their own empathic capacities to help children feel supported to such a degree that a direct connection can be forged between the reality of children's traumatic experiences and the parents and/or clinicians being able to tolerate their pain, and so regulate the child's distress down to a manageable level. The recognition that another person can truly understand and tolerate their pain can be a major contribution to the client's therapeutic outcome.

This book is an absolute necessity for every parent working through attachment issues, and for every professional (therapist, caseworker, teacher, policy maker, etc.) working with children who exhibit severe acting-out behaviors.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780977704002
  • Publisher: Beyond Consequences Institute, LLC
  • Publication date: 6/28/2006
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 134
  • Sales rank: 98,946
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.80 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 13 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 13 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 14, 2014

    She is talking about Reactive Attachment Disorder, not kids in g

    She is talking about Reactive Attachment Disorder, not kids in general. I adopted my Russian daughters when they were 13 and 9. The older one has classic RAD, and it's been a nightmare. After having read this book, and observed my daughter for 8 years, I can say that Forbes absolutely nails it. But don't think that this books is particularly applicable to ALL kids.

    RAD is a nightmare that never ends. In the end, you have to deal with them just the way Forbes does or you will go insane. when you're fighting a battle that you can't win, and can't quit, then a third alternative must be found. She has found it.

    No, she will NOT "cure" your kid. She doesn't claim to be able to. She's helping you salvage what you can.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 24, 2013

    wow, self publishing is certainly the way to go when you can not

    wow, self publishing is certainly the way to go when you can not (and would not want) obtain what would normally be sought in a booklet like this - peer review.  with absolutely no research cited for what amounts to be a personal opinion theory (the stress model), none of what follows has any credibility.  i can not imagine what grade the author received when they put this in front of their thesis committee.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 12, 2013

    My biological child is dealing with childhood trauma anxiety and

    My biological child is dealing with childhood trauma anxiety and anger issues. This book came highly recommended by a youth councilor professional who works with middle school age children with behavioral issues. I found the behavior breakdown in this book an easy read and quite simple concept on how to assess a situation before getting sucked into one as we often do as parents. I enjoyed the book and thought that the information was more valuable than a years worth of professionals recommending me medicate my child.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 23, 2011

    You must read this

    I was at my wits end til I read this book then I had to get Volume 1.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 14, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Insightful - but Disappointing Too

    I wanted to like this book, because it advocates a gentle style of parenting that I would like to live up to. I wanted it to debunk the pseudoscience of the Foster Cline's and Nancy Thomas's of this world. But it is full of pseudoscience too, not to mention simple typographical and grammatical errors and specious arguments. Very depressing. At the same time, the practical suggestions for dealing with traumatized kids are more effective with my child - who has enormous stress and fear arising from his history of broken bonds - than any of the hard-nosed semi-abusive crap advocated by the "traditional" attachment therapists, and I can only ascribe that to the practical experience of the authors in dealing with troubled kids. I recommend the techniques to parents, but I question the foundation, which makes the entire book very unsatisfying.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 25, 2008

    a must read

    This is a great book if you are a parent or professional working with children from the foster care sysytem. This is a great book that will provide hope for children that have been through trauma in their lives.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 24, 2008

    A reviewer

    An absolute must read for anyone working with children who have suffered trauma in any degree.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 19, 2008

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 15, 2014

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    Posted September 3, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2013

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    Posted November 22, 2008

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