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Beyond The Affair

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Beyond the Affair: The Healing of a Marriage proclaims -- and illustrates -- that deep hurt can be overcome and a relationship restored and transformed. When betrayal shatters their marriage, Loyd Kinnett and her husband are challenged to recreate their relationship.
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Beyond the Affair: The Healing of a Marriage proclaims -- and illustrates -- that deep hurt can be overcome and a relationship restored and transformed. When betrayal shatters their marriage, Loyd Kinnett and her husband are challenged to recreate their relationship.
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What People Are Saying

Barbara Larkins
"I spent years crying over the death of my marriage. What I learned from this book is-maybe it didn't have to die."
Desmond Tutu
"This is a powerful piece of writing, so raw and so authentic and so marvelously real. I could almost here Loyd's gasps and sobs, catch a smell of her dogs and feel the atmosphere of her cave. This is a remarkable work."
Nobel Laureate and former Archbishop of South Africa
Laura Brower
"I devoured Beyond the Affair from the very start. The author's candid voice took me to a place of deep and genuine insight about myself as a woman. At a time when women across the nation seem to crave honesty, Beyond the Affair came to me as a welcome breath of fresh air."
Public Relations Professional
Shonnie Lavender
"Rather than blaming, being vengeful, or self-absorbed, Loyd chooses to be vulnerable, honest and courageous in her book. The Kinnetts' story is a promising candle for other couples."
coach, businesswoman, wife
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781931391368
  • Publisher:, Inc.
  • Publication date: 5/1/2001
  • Pages: 164
  • Product dimensions: 0.38 (w) x 5.50 (h) x 8.50 (d)

Table of Contents

Preface 11
Acknowledgments 12
Introduction 14
Part I The Caterpillar 15
1. Voicing the Pain 16
2. Rallying the Troops 22
3. The Dark of Night 25
4. Dawn 27
5. Buddha Dog 29
6. The Cave 31
7. The Decision 33
8. Affair Territory 35
9. Keep Him on the Griddle 39
10. The Third Day 42
11. Our Children's Compassion 43
12. The Witch 46
13. Role Reversal 48
14. Coming Clean 50
15. The Secret 52
16. The Laundry List 55
17. Different Levels 58
Part II The Chrysalis 60
18. Morning Despair 61
19. Pulling Out All the Stops--Not Allowed 63
20. On My Own 65
21. Empty-Handed 68
22. The Angry Phone Call 70
23. Feathers and Light 74
24. Homecoming 77
25. Ready to Ride 81
26. A Log Cabin in Maine 83
27. Indulging 86
28. Face to Face with Suffering 89
29. All Manner of Thing Shall Be Well 92
30. The Source of My Suffering 93
31. Hearing My Own Voice 96
32. A Grace-Filled Birthday 98
33. So Much for Fear 100
34. Done In 104
35. My Job 106
36. Panic 110
37. Disarming Conflict 114
38. Decibel Levels 117
39. Feeling Sick Isn't Healthy 120
40. The Letter 122
Part III The Butterfly 124
41. Sad and Alone 125
42. Narcissus Is Not Just a Flower 129
43. The Dreaded Chair 132
44. Comfortable Jeans 134
45. A Gift 136
46. In Control of the Universe 138
47. Coming Home 141
48. The "C" Word 144
49. A Change of Mind 147
50. The Invitation 149
51. The Meeting 151
52. Looking Back 153
Afterword 155
Poem: The Cave And The Cave Revisited 161
An Invitation: Kinnett Partners, L.L.C. 163
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 3 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 14, 2002

    Episcopal Life magazine May 2002

    Running against the tide of the multitude of self-help books on how to recover after divorce is Loyd Kinnett¿s ¿Beyond the Affair: The Healing of a Marriage.¿ When she discovered her husband, Ken, an Episcopal priest, in an adulterous relationship with a woman who was a friend, Loyd came face-to-face with her worst fears after 39 years of marriage. In response, she wrote page after page in her journal, describing her grievances and resentments, filling her pages with hate and venom in a search for revenge. She tapped into a stream of ugliness that shocked her. Initially, Ken was almost certain he wanted out of his marriage. He had convinced himself that he deserved to have more sexual pleasure than he was having and decided it would be easier to look elsewhere than facing the hard work to restore what the couple once shared. Instead, remaining in the same house and bedroom, they decided to try to work through the anger, tears and fears before reaching a final decision in six months. They were fortunate to have had the support of three children, a skilled therapist and numerous friends that led them to recommit to their marriage vows. The book is drawn from Loyd¿s journals that graphically depict her pain. Despair and frustration, those difficult sessions with their mediator and, incredibly, the evening when she arranges a meeting with the ¿other woman¿ to offer her forgiveness. The feelings they experienced and processes they submitted to are similar to the healing any couple must face to restore a shattered marriage. Men will find as much value in the book as women, especially Ken Kinnett¿s six-page Afterword in which he describes the pivotal moment for his decision to stay in the marriage. REVIEWED BY Jerry Hames, Editor

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 6, 2001

    Be Prepared to Weep

    This is sensitive treatment of a sensitive subject so many have to face. You need not, however, be dealing with betrayal to appreciate the real life pain and redemption described here.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 16, 2001

    Blown away!

    This book is fantastic! Loyd Kinnett writes beautifully and her message is for anyone who is working on their spirtual soul, not just people who have been betrayed or experienced an affair. Do yourself a favor and read it. You will thank yourself over and over I promise.

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