Birthmothersby Merry Bloch Jones
Birthmothers presents intimate and stirring accounts of more than seventy women who surrendered babies for adoption. It follows their lives long-term, from discovery of their pregnancies through the present, and identifies the Birthmother Syndrome -- a pattern of behavior and emotions resulting from surrender. With heartwarming candor, it reveals the stories of the invisible side of the adoption triangle, and touches everyone involved in adoption, as well as anyone interested in motherhood, family and women in our society.
- iUniverse, Incorporated
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- 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.71(d)
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This is a beautifully written and very valuable book for our understanding of birthmothers who describe experiences in both closed and open adoptions. Many have grieved; others have felt relief; a number have entirely repressed their emotions. Regardless of what they think about relinquishment, many birthmothers continue to struggle with the emotional effects of suppressing their maternal drive in the form of rage, frustration, sorrow, guilt, and self-doubt. Many birthmothers emphasized that reunion was not a cure for the regrets, angers, or grief they faced after relinquishing. The author writes that 'Even in mutually rewarding reunions, most birthmothers experienced profound sensations of loss.' Yes, I can only begin to understand this feeling because I have personal experience with the birthmother of our daughter. Relinquishment occurred in 1969, when the baby was 4 days old and 29 years later our birthmother found us. Today, we love one another and our daughter has a cordial relationship with her birthmother, but our birthmother is facing the terrible reality that her grown daughter, now a mother herself, is not the needy little baby she had relinquished and a late mother-child relationship is impossible. 'Even reunions can't make it right.' I love this book and recommend it to everyone, not just to members of the adoption triad. It is a book about humanity. Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?
I bought this book as a pregnant woman already decided upon adoption looking for comfort for the emotional things ahead. This book really isn't relevent in today's society. It talks about adoptions through the sixties, seventies and eighties. Things have changed a lot since then, I didn't find much of it useful. It's also extremely negative. There are a few positive stories thrown in almost as an afterthought but explains in detail one horror story after another. Agencies and adoption lawyers are made out to be evil, coercing and are in the business for the adoptive parents best interests since they're the ones funding the operations. All in all, it presented a severely negative, one-sided view on adoption.