Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women

Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women

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by Elizabeth Wurtzel
     
 

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No one better understands the desire to be bad than Elizabeth Wurtzel.

Bitch is a brilliant tract on the history of manipulative female behavior. By looking at women who derive their power from their sexuality, Wurtzel offers a trenchant cultural critique of contemporary gender relations. Beginning with Delilah, the first woman to supposedly bring a…  See more details below

Overview

No one better understands the desire to be bad than Elizabeth Wurtzel.

Bitch is a brilliant tract on the history of manipulative female behavior. By looking at women who derive their power from their sexuality, Wurtzel offers a trenchant cultural critique of contemporary gender relations. Beginning with Delilah, the first woman to supposedly bring a great man down (latter-day Delilahs include Yoko Ono, Pam Smart, Bess Myerson), Wurtzel finds many biblical counterparts to the men and women in today's headlines.

In five brilliant extended essays, she links the lives of women as demanding and disparate as Amy Fisher, Hillary Clinton, Margaux Hemingway, and Nicole Brown Simpson. Wurtzel gives voice to those women whose lives have been misunderstood, who have been dismissed for their beauty, their madness, their youth.

She finds in the story of Amy Fisher the tragic plight of all Lolitas, our thirst for their brief and intense flame. She connects Hemingway's tragic suicide to those of Sylvia Plath, Edie Sedgwick, and Marilyn Monroe, women whose beauty was an end, ultimately, in itself. Wurtzel, writing about the wife/mistress dichotomy, explains how some women are anointed as wife material, while others are relegated to the role of mistress. She takes to task the double standard imposed on women, the cultural insistence on goodness and society's complete obsession with badness: what's a girl to do? Let's face it, if women were any real threat to male power, "Gennifer Flowers would be sitting behind the desk of the Oval Office," writes Wurtzel, "and Bill Clinton would be a lounge singer in the Excelsior Hotel in Little Rock."

Bitch tells a tale both celebratory and cautionary as Wurtzel catalogs some of the most infamous women in history, defending their outsize desires, describing their exquisite loneliness, championing their take-no-prisoners approach to life and to love. Whether writing about Courtney Love, Sally Hemings, Bathsheba, Kimba Wood, Sharon Stone, Princess Di--or waxing eloquent on the hideous success of The Rules, the evil that is The Bridges of Madison County, the twisted logic of You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again--Wurtzel is back with a bitchography that cuts to the core. In prose both blistering and brilliant, Bitch is a treatise on the nature of desperate sexual manipulation and a triumph of pussy power.

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Editorial Reviews

The Barnes & Noble Review
Bitch, Elizabeth Wurtzel's second book, was written over the course of a year in which she lived in four different apartments, three hotels, one seamy residential motel, and two houses. But the book is anything but transient. In luminescent prose, Wurtzel takes to task a double standard imposed on women: the cultural insistence on goodness and society's complete obsession with badness.

No one understands the desire to be bad more than Elizabeth Wurtzel. Bitch is a brilliant tract on the history of manipulative female behavior. By looking at women who derive their power from their sexuality, Wurtzel offers a trenchant cultural critique of contemporary gender relations. Beginning with Delilah, the first woman to supposedly bring a great man down (latter-day Delilahs include Yoko Ono, Pam Smart, and Bess Myerson), Wurtzel finds many biblical counterparts to the men and women in today's headlines. In five brilliant essays, she links the lives of women as demanding and disparate as Amy Fisher, Hillary Clinton, Margaux Hemingway, and Nicole Brown Simpson. Wurtzel gives voice to those women whose lives have been misunderstood, who have been dismissed for their beauty, their madness, their youth. She finds in the story of Amy Fisher the tragic plight of all Lolitas, our thirst for their brief and intense flame. She connects Hemingway's tragic suicide to those of Sylvia Plath, Edie Sedgwick, and Marilyn Monroe, women whose beauty was ultimately an end in itself. Writing about the wife/mistress dichotomy, Wurtzel explains how some women are anointed wife material whileothersare relegated to the role of mistress.

Both celebratory and cautionary, Bitch catalogues some of the most infamous women in history, defending their outsize desires, describing their exquisite loneliness, and championing their take-no-prisoners approach to life and to love. Whether writing about Courtney Love, Sally Hemings, Bathsheba, Kimba Wood, Sharon Stone, or Princess Di — or waxing eloquent on the hideous success of The Rules, the evil that is The Bridges of Madison County, the twisted logic of You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again — Wurtzel is back with a bitchography that cuts to the core.

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780307829887
Publisher:
Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Publication date:
10/17/2012
Sold by:
Random House
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
448
Sales rank:
335,794
File size:
2 MB

Read an Excerpt

As feminism has charged forward--and no one can deny the leaps and strides it has made--so has the invention of the overeager hypersexualized female body.  Nowadays you pay for sex not because you are lonely and miserable and can't get laid, or married and looking for cheap thrills, but because sex as a commodity is not distasteful; it's interesting.  The recent best-seller by three Hollywood call girls, You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again, essentially chronicles the availability for money of just about anything.  The women write about their experiences servicing major Hollywood movie stars, men who presumably don't "have to" pay for sex, but like to be able to control the action, or like the absence of any emotional involvement, or just plain think it's cool.  In the midst of all this, it seems hard to talk about date rape or anything else, because as much as women may try to be seen not as sex objects there is a countervailing force, in which many women collaborate--mostly out of financial need--to turn women into nothing but sex objects.

Which is why the good-time liberated lady whose sexual bravado could be celebrated by Germaine Greer and Helen Gurley Brown alike has metastasized over time into a harsh, hard force of flat, canned sexuality whose most protuberant and pertinent metonymy is the obvious and bulbous silicone breast implants that caricature a sexual reality that is already a cartoon, that don't even try to mimic mammarian nature.

I think the choices become whether you will use it for yourself or against.  Look, I think many people have rescued themselves from this game, but pretty girls, girls who learned to manipulate, girls whose hearts always belonged to daddy--they just can't help it. And the world rewards it at the same time it condemns it.  On the whole, one lesson of a book like You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again is that sex is really not much of a weapon in the end.  You need to have some talent and brains or nothing will work.  Most men who sleep with some girl won't want to give her a job since they'd prefer never to deal with the situation again.  I think that's the main thing that's missing from any discussions of this subject--the complexities of date rape, the way strip clubs have become feminist enterprise zones while ignoring the degrading damaging nature of the work.  For a woman to do just as she pleases and dispense with other people's needs, wants, demands and desires continues to be revolutionary.  Men pretty much do as they will, and women pretty much continue to pick up the slack.  That's why books like The Rules and Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus succeed.  It remains to this day, even after feminism, a woman's chore to close the gap.  Time is not on our side, our youth and beauty is brief, tick-tock the biological clock, and that message is thrown at us over and over again.  In Manhattan Nocturne, an unusually perspicacious noir novel with the genre's usual theme of the good man brought down by a beautiful bad girl, the author Colin Harrison muses at one point on what a short shelf life a pretty girl in New York City has.  "I would say the most determined people are the young women who arrive in the city from America and around the world to sell, in one way or another, their bodies: the models and strippers and actresses and dancers who know that time is running against them, that they are temporarily credentialed by youth."

Of course, we are meant to understand that this is the lot of glamour girls, that those of us who put brains beforebeauty need not worry about this stuff.  But to paraphrase Rosie O'Donnell once again: It feels as if it's true for us all.  And while there are commitment-phobic women, the story you always hear when there is a troubled relationship--when the balance of power is off--for the most part it's always the one of women trying to get men to tie the knot.  Now, I personally know a number of women who are putting off their boyfriends who are eager to get married--but those relationships are not the ones that seem in constant crisis, they are not the ones where somebody is always complaining, because for any number of reasons, the focus on commitment still only assumes a desperate cast when the woman is the injured party.

And the fact that all this relationship anxiety marks a regression of sorts is not lost on pioneers of the women's movement who thought it would be better by now.  London eating disorders expert Susie Orbach, author of Fat Is a Feminist Issue, is the founder of the Women's Therapy Centre, where among her patients was Princess Diana.  "I see all sorts of young confident women around," she told Mirabella in late 1996.  "But when they're in my consulting room, they talk about the same bloody issues we had thirty years ago.  They're afraid.  Women in the most oppressive relationships are trying to manage them rather than get out of them.  Only now, with no women's movement, if you have problems you feel like a freak.  All the problems are internalized."

That's why The Rules is a runaway best-seller and may well be a perennial hit.

But it is wrong to see that book as a setback to feminism in any way, or to be mad at the authoresses for their Aunt Edna-like advice because the book is completely nonideological: feminism is beside the point in a list of what is probably fairly sound advice for learning to behave like a woman who is about to embark on some serious, goal-oriented dating.  It tells women how to act so as to compensate for the fact that while feminism has changed the way many of us think and behave, while it has made men change diapers and do dishes and spend quality time with children while women perform neurosurgery and direct movies and trade Eurodollars, it has failed to truly change the way we feel.  The proof: Go to any bookstore and there are hundreds of titles in the self-help section about how to overcome love addiction and fear of abandonment and the like, and while there are plenty of books for women about how to deal with commitment-resistant, impossible men--Smart Women, Foolish Choices and the like--there is not one book addressed to men about how to work out their own damn problems with relationships.  No book for men about how to get over fear of commitment, how to learn to open one's heart, how to stop running from emotional involvement--I know, because I searched high and low for such a thing for my last boyfriend and it doesn't exist.

Do you know why?

Because it doesn't need to.  Men don't have to change the way they sexually assess women, the way certain triggers and indications of female power or feminine weakness may frighten them off.  They don't have to change the psychic messages inculcated into their brains from way back in their preverbal, pre-Oedipal days.  They don't have to because we women will learn to behave.

Well, I for one am sick of it.  All my life, one person or another has been telling me to behave, saying don't let a guy know you're a depressed maniac on the first date, don't just be yourself, don't show your feelings.  And the truth is, this is probably good advice, men probably don't like overbearing, hotheaded women who give blow jobs on the first date.  In all likelihood the only man who will ever like me just as I am will probably need to believe I'm somebody else at first.  I probably do need to learn to behave.  But I don't like it.  It seems like, all this, all these years of feminism, Mary Wollstonecraft, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Simone de Beauvoir, Virginia Woolf, Gloria Steinem, Susan Faludi--all that smart writing all so we could learn to behave?  Bra burning in Atlantic City--so we could learn to behave?  Roe v.  Wade--so we could learn to behave?  Thelma & Louise--so we could learn to behave?  The gender gap--so we could learn to behave?  Madonna, Sally Ride, Joycelyn Elders, Golda Meir, Anita Hill, Bette Davis, Leni Riefenstahl--all those strong, indefatigable souls so we could learn to behave?  What good really have any of those things done if we still get the feeling that we have to contain our urges and control ourselves in the interest of courtship and love?  Did Germaine Greer importune us so long ago with the words "Lady, love your cunt," and did Anka Radikovich regale us with her tales of the sexual picaresque in The Wild Girls Club so we could be told never to succumb to sexual abandon on the first date?  After all this agitation, along comes The Rules to tell us that we're not even allowed to accept a date for a Saturday night after Wednesday.

Here's my point: I have no quarrel with The Rules or the advice it gives--it actually seems pretty sound to me--but if we had really come a long way, baby, if men's perceptions of women had transformed fundamentally and intensely so that we were accepted as full-fledged sexual creatures and romantic operatives who were free to chase or be chased, and if this expanded dimension of women's sexual personae were not frightening or overwhelming to them, then we would not need The Rules. We would be truly free.

So of course the bitch persona appeals to us.  It is the illusion of liberation, of libertine abandon.  What if you want to be large in a world that would have you be small, diminished?  You don't want to diet, you don't want to say no, thank you, and pretend somehow that what is there is enough when always, always, you want more.  That has been your defining characteristic: You have appetites, and only if you are truly shameless will you even begin to be sated because nothing is ever really enough.  Not because you are greedy or insatiable but because you can't help it, you can't go along with the fiction that the world would have you believe and adhere to: that you ought to settle and be careful and accept the crumbs that are supposed to pass for a life, this minimized self you are supposed to put up with, that feminism and other political theories of woman cannot really begin to address because this is about something else entirely.

This is about what has become the almost monstrous notion of female desire.  This is not about making demands of other people or wearing down those who have their own screams for MORE!  to address: You'd be amazed at how often we are reluctant to indulge ourselves by our own means.  It is amazing that the smallness of the space we've been told to squeeze into has meant that we don't even know how to ask or what to want.  Everything tells us to stop, to not talk to that guy first, to not have a thousand lovers if that's what feels right because one husband is supposed to be enough.  Everything says we don't need another piece of chocolate cake, we don't need another Gucci bag, another dime-store lipstick, another Big Mac, another night on the town, another spin on the Rainbow Room dance floor.  Well, this is meant to be a story about people who are so beyond need, who want and have figured out that it's never too soon to make demands of this life, this world, this everything.  It's about how nice it must be to just decide I will not be nice, I am never sorry, I have no regrets: what is before me belongs to me.

But for a woman, to assume she has to be not nice, it puts her outside of the system, outside of what is acceptable.  She can be a deeply depressive Sylvia Plath, a luxuriating decadent Delilah, a homicidal adolescent Amy Fisher, she can be anyone who decides that what she wants and needs and believes and must do is more important than being nice.  She may, in fact, be as nice as can be, but as soon as she says catch me if you can I'm so free this is my life and the rest can fuck off and die--as soon as she lays down the option of my way or the highway, it's amazing how quickly everyone finds her difficult, crazy, a nightmare: a bitch.

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Meet the Author

Elizabeth Wurtzel graduated from Harvard College, where she received the 1986 Rolling Stone College Journalism Award.  She was a music critic for The New Yorker and New York, and her articles have appeared in numerous magazines.  She is the author of the bestselling Prozac Nation, and she currently resides in New York City.

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Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 15 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved this book
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Caylin.D More than 1 year ago
This book is filled with amazing research and facts and just over all very well written. Although out of the books ive read by wurtzel this one would have to be my least favorite Prozac Nation is my favorite by far but everyone of her books are an amazing thoughtful reading experience. This book has made me abit of a feminist and my favorite line from this book is "no woman should ever lose her mind over a man, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
LTJLawyer More than 1 year ago
The first thing that is obvious when reading the book is the amount of research put into it. Wurtzel is an amazing author. Although I will admit there were times where I felt that she rambled a little too much she did make very impressive points. A must read! A+
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was rollercoaster of enjoyment. Wurtzel had the tendency to ramble on too much. I felt like skipping the whole Blonde in the Bleacher chapter altogether. There were parts in the book that made me want to continue reading but others leaving me wishing she would shut the hell up, and I could get my $14 back. Of course the ending led back to her discussing her life, and her problems, as if she hasnt told us enough about herself. Even with it's downfalls, Wurtzel did have strong but negotiable points of view, and caused me to take intrest in Women Studies.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is a very entertaining and provocative book that proves that Wurtzel does indeed have a brain. A lot of research clearly went into compiling it, and I think she's done a pretty good job of picking women throughout history who have indeed been 'difficult' for one reason or another. Her interpretations of the information, rather than the information itself, is sometimes kind of questionable, but I suppose that's artistic license in a book like this. Like another reviewer stated, this book does ramble on a bit, but then again I suppose that Wurtzel's style and she's entitled to it. Overall, a very enjoyable and somewhat thought provoking read that will especially be enjoyed by Wurtzel fans.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Erm well what can I say, I feel any words I know wouldn't come close to how amazing this book is!!!....this rewiew could never be long enough to express all my respect and admiration for Miss Wurtzel. I'm 18 years old and I feel privileged thats I've read this book as I'm sure most women that have read 'Bitch' wish they had as a teenager. A real eye opener READ IT!!!!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is a poignant and deeply thought provoking account of the iconic women that have graced the screen, pages, and tabloids of the past century. Elizabeth Wurtzel discusses women from Sylvia Plath to Courtney Love to Amy Fisher. This is a book that every woman should read. It's reverence toward the women who were labeled difficult, moody, and unconvential in a world that did not allow for women to express themselves verbally, emotionally, sexually, or mentally; is a breath of fresh air. Unlike the usual diatribes that are written about angst filled girls and women whom we pull apart and expose for the frauds we believe them to be, Wurtzel's book embraces them and even empathizes with them. This is written about women who by their own volition or not, lived by this: quod me nutrit me destruit; which, is Latin for what nourishes me also destroys me.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Elizabeth has a way of taking the most overlooked expression and making it into pages of lucid explanation with heart and a fist to match. Her wrighting can blow you down and lift your spirits all before you turn the first page.
Guest More than 1 year ago
'Bitch' was an amazing exploration into the female psyche. As I read, I found myself jotting down quotes. I particularly loved this one: 'I intend to scream, shout, race the engine, call when I feel like it, throw tantrums at Bloomingdales if I feel like it and confess intimate details about my life to complete strangers. I intend to do what I want to do and be whom I want to be and answer only to myself: that is, quite simply, the bitch philosophy.' I believe that all women would benefit if they would take this advice into account, and stop being the submissive 'little woman' that feminism has fought so hard to abolish. This is an absolute must read. Her intelligent yet funny style of writing reels one in; I can't wait for Wurtzel's new book to come out in February! I'm sure I'll devour it in one sitting. Keep up the amazing writing, EW- you're inspirational.