Black and Single: Meeting and Choosing a Partner Who's Right for You [NOOK Book]

Overview


Tired of having your search for a romantic partner complicated by the battle of the sexes? Let Dr. Larry E. Davis—a psychologist, social worker, and voice of reason—show you a better way. Now in its revised and updated third edition, Black and Single has been the premier relationship guide for African-Americans for ten years. Filled with entertaining and thought-provoking examples from the real world of dating, it’s a practical, one-of-a-kind tool to help you find the partner ...
See more details below
Black and Single: Meeting and Choosing a Partner Who's Right for You

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook - Third Edition)
$9.99
BN.com price
(Save 33%)$15.00 List Price

Overview


Tired of having your search for a romantic partner complicated by the battle of the sexes? Let Dr. Larry E. Davis—a psychologist, social worker, and voice of reason—show you a better way. Now in its revised and updated third edition, Black and Single has been the premier relationship guide for African-Americans for ten years. Filled with entertaining and thought-provoking examples from the real world of dating, it’s a practical, one-of-a-kind tool to help you find the partner you’ve been seeking.

An esteemed black psychologist has written this accessible, positive guide to negotiating the pitfalls of African American single life--with an emphasis on practical information regarding how to find the right partner.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Bill Curtis

Nineties Romantic Journey
—a Bill Curtis Book Review

In the revised, updated book, Black and Single—Meeting and Choosing a Partner Who's Right For You, Dr. Larry E. Davis takes on the formidable, if not near impossible, task of writing about contemporary Black romance heading toward the 21st century.

Black and Single—Meeting and Choosing a Partner Who's Right For You is an intelligent presentation of a subject that typically triggers emotional mortal combat between the sexes. Usually, the women bash the men and the men bash the women, but Dr. Davis takes the high road by coupling research data with social theory to weave explanations, tips and dating-approach information to bring order to romantic chaos. If the reader is ready to stop the bashing-game, then Black and Single—Meeting and Choosing a Partner Who's Right For You could prove worth the read.

Perceiving fairness and experiencing happiness is the key to beginning to understand successful romance dynamics. Dr. Davis deals with the intangible, non-material question of "fairness." According to Dr. Davis, "fairness is the feeling that you are receiving as much as you feel you deserve, even when your rewards may differ from what outsiders expect. This is especially true when considering qualities of an emotional nature, such as caring and support. But the principle remains the same—there must be a sense of fairness."

Fairness requires deliberate thought. "Understanding the dynamics of fairness", says Dr. Davis, "is "crucial for Black couples, because they so often are faced with situations that are unconventional in terms of the mainstream white society". He goes on to say that "changes in employment opportunities available for Black males and Black females, even more so than for whites, require that Black couples contribute to their relationships what they can, and ignore gender expectations as to who should contribute what."

Black and Single—Meeting and Choosing a Partner Who's Right For You exposes a myriad of behaviors and vitalizing ideas useful to successfully navigate a 90's romantic journey. Some given treatment include power; attitude; dating with children; love, like or merely lust; and dating scene mechanics.

Dr. Davis respects reader intelligence. He raises reader expectations regarding successful romantic possibility; however, if the romance falls short of success, then at least the journey was an adventure. Equally useful to singles and married couples, this book speaks volumes to the strengths of successful romance. If you can stand your mind being stretched from the shape of what you think you already know, then Black and Single—Meeting and Choosing a Partner Who's Right For You could turn your head to look at an old problem from some very new angles. Must-Read-Reading: MRR***1/2


Bill Curtis' commentaries and reviews have been published in the Afro-American, The Baltimore Chronicle, The Baltimore Press, The Baltimore Times, The Baltimore Sun, Financial Independence Magazine, Every Wednesday, Blind Alleys, African-American News & World Report, and at Barnes and Noble on the internet. Contact Mr. Curtis at WebReady@theglobe.com or P.O. Box 2043, Baltimore, MD 21203-2043.
Publishers Weekly
Sociologist Larry E. Davis probes the sociological nuances of relationships in Black and Single: Meeting and Choosing a Partner Who's Right for You, an analytical look at the "Black romantic market." Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781572846036
  • Publisher: Agate
  • Publication date: 3/1/2009
  • Series: Nia Guide to Black Women
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition description: Third Edition
  • Pages: 260
  • Sales rank: 1,353,631
  • File size: 421 KB

Read an Excerpt

"Black women have become the men that their mothers wanted them to marry." This comment, made to me by a female news reporter, is one of the most powerful I've heard on Black male-female relations. It captures the complexity of romantic relations for Black Americans as they enter into the twenty-first century. It suggests that Black women have increasingly had to be independent, strong, and must frequently assume the role of sole financial provider. It also suggests that Black men are in a very serious struggle to be, and to present themselves as, good potential mates. No other racial group in America has as many single adults as do African Americans. Roughly two thirds of Black people are single, while two thirds of white people are married. Most certainly it is this reality that contributes to Blacks spending so much of their time talking, thinking, and reading about Black male-female romantic relationships. And, despite the barrage of negative press about the Black community being a wild, crazy, and promiscuous place, most Blacks are really quite traditional in their beliefs about sex, dating, and marriage. Indeed research continues to indicate that although the majority of Black Americans are currently single, the vast majority of these singles aspire to marry.

Unfortunately no one has the power to change the often-unpleasant reality confronting you as a Black single. I cannot alter the low number of eligible Black males in relation to Black females, for example. But I can offer you advice to increase your probabilities of finding and sustaining romance--despite what at times must appear to be insurmountable odds.

"Probabilities" is the key word here. My foremost goalis to increase your chances of obtaining greater romantic satisfaction. Your chances of finding romance can be greatly enhanced first by having a better understanding of why you like and are liked by others, and second by recognizing and appreciating those things that make you want to enter and stay in romantic relationships. It is reasonable to assume that a greater understanding of the dynamics of romance will enhance your probability of finding and sustaining romantic happiness. At the same time, no one ever acquires sufficient mastery of romantic relationships so as to be successful every time--no one wins them all! It's important to accept this fact early on. Sometimes you will be successful in getting a certain person to like you, and other times you won't be. Accepting this is important, because it should decrease the amount of time you spend in pursuit of those people who may never really respond to you. Also, recognizing this fact early increases
the probability that you will spend more time on those persons who do have sufficient interest in you. The pain and frustration of chasing someone not at all interested in you is an unhappy experience we all have shared. Such apparent losses are inevitable, because some people you might like to know better simply do not value those personal attributes you have to offer.

It was not one of my primary goals to provide information that would "fix" preexisting problematic relationships. In fact, I address only slightly ways to salvage a troubled romance. Instead this book is designed to help you meet and choose new romantic partners. However, in no way do I wish to suggest that beginning a relationship is more important than sustaining one. I elected to focus on the beginning phase of relationships because many people have tremendous difficulty getting romances started. Also, getting off to a good start is so very important to sustaining a successful long-term romantic relationship.

When I appear on talk shows or lecture panels, people often ask me if I have ever experienced difficulties with my own romantic relationships. My answer is "Of course!" I, too, have been a Black single, and have been married, divorced, and now recently remarried. Like everyone else, I have struggled with my romantic life. When I acknowledge this fact to audiences, I am often greeted with another question: "If you presumably know so much about romance, then why have you also experienced romantic ups and downs?" I respond to this humbling question in the following way: in some respects understanding romantic relationships is a little bit like understanding electricity. Being knowledgeable about electricity does not exempt me from its effects. In the same way, regardless of the extent of my knowledge, I am subject to the erratic power of romance and its currents.

Having a better understanding of romance should reduce our probabilities of experiencing repeatedly the same type and number of romantic difficulties. More specifically, an enhanced understanding of the dynamics of dating should increase your ability to obtain greater romantic happiness. Yet romance will probably never be so completely under your control as to not require your ongoing attention.
Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Introduction 1
1 Why You Date Who You Do 11
2 Assessing Your Romantic Market Value 29
3 Identify Your Field of Eligibles 47
4 The Importance of Color and Beauty 59
5 The Right Place 69
6 The Right Time 79
7 Getting Off To A Good Start 87
8 Perceiving Fairness, Experiencing Happiness 99
9 Bases of Romantic Power 117
10 A Positive Outlook 135
11 Between Dates: Down-Time Ain't Necessarily Bad Time 141
12 Liking, Loving, and Lusting 151
13 Sex: When, Why, and With Whom 165
14 Dating White 181
15 Odds To A Good End: A Review 195
Selected Readings 203
References 205
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)