The Blonde of the Joke [NOOK Book]


"There are three and only three rules for shoplifting," Francie instructed me.

From the very first day Val meets the outrageously blond Francie, she realizes that Francie has the gutsy courage and determination Val has always envied. But Francie sees something in Val too—something that Val's never noticed. "You've got that sneaky thing about you," she says. "I bet you have a dark past."

And just like that, the blonde and the brunette become ...

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The Blonde of the Joke

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"There are three and only three rules for shoplifting," Francie instructed me.

From the very first day Val meets the outrageously blond Francie, she realizes that Francie has the gutsy courage and determination Val has always envied. But Francie sees something in Val too—something that Val's never noticed. "You've got that sneaky thing about you," she says. "I bet you have a dark past."

And just like that, the blonde and the brunette become partners in crime.

Thanks to Francie, Val is suddenly taking risks, taking charge, and taking what she deserves. But as the stakes get higher, Francie and Val find themselves more and more tangled in a thrilling web of love, lies, and shoplifting. Soon it becomes clear that the darkest secrets have yet to be discovered. . . .

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Madison's (the Lulu Dark series) surreal novel elevates suburbia—and the mall in particular—to an almost mythic status, at once mundane and rife with potential. Timid high school student Valentina's life changes dramatically when new girl Francie flounces into class wearing a lime green “whore's raincoat,” meant to cover up the aqua tube top and gold hot pants she's wearing underneath (“Francie was that kind of girl. Blonde. Big boobs. Total slut”). Francie, a force of nature, befriends Val, giving her an exuberant new look, teaching her to shoplift and awakening a whole other side of the girl. But exterior radiance doesn't mask the inner problems both girls wrestle with. Madison's dreamlike prose imbues the most ordinary of moments with cosmic significance (“At the mall, in the beginning of October, there was this whiff of something: like newness, or the future. Or maybe I was just mistaking the smell of Cinnabons and makeup”). It can occasionally feel like the story is about to sink under the portentousness of it all, but it's more likely that readers will soak up every bit of it. Ages 14–up. (Sept.)
Children's Literature - Janis Flint-Ferguson
The joke is not funny, and the blonde is a shoplifter in this first novel by Madison. Francie Knight is the new, quirky, and, ultimately, lonely high school student who comes in breaking the one rule Ms. Tinker insists on: Do not be late for class. She seeks out quiet Valentina Martinez, a quiet, mousy girl who admires Francie's unusual style and behavior. Val's family is dealing with her brother's prognosis, which is that he is sick and is going to die. Val does not have many friends and Francie offers her a look at life from a different perspective. Francie's real claim to fame is that she is a shoplifter, not just a shoplifter but one who shoplifts because of philosophical principles: she believes it is owed to her. The two become quite the duo and when Val's brother comes home to die, they shoplift gifts for him, believing that a shoplifted gift is more valuable no matter what it is. Most of the storyline revolves around their shoplifting exploits—how good they are, how they get help, and how it makes them feel—right up until Val decides that she does not want to be part of it any longer. The language is rough and their behavior reprehensible, but, for mature readers who are compelled to explore the desperate side of humanity, this is a disturbing tale of amoral loners. Reviewer: Janis Flint-Ferguson
VOYA - Mary Ann Harlan
Val is disappearing. She lives in the suburb where "no one has any parents," and the only thing to do is go to the mall, which is a commentary on her existence not the actual truth. Her parents are disengaged, her friends have moved away, and she is filled with ennui to the point of disappearing. Francie is the opposite. She is the girl everyone looks at, usually with a snide comment, but she becomes a focal point in any room. When Francie picks Val as a friend, Val feels special, even when Francie introduces her to a whole new world of shoplifting. In Val and Francie's world everything is there for the taking, and they deserve it. Val is searching for the "Holy Grail" to save her dying brother, and Francie needs the fantasy to avoid her own reality. But it is nothing more than fantasy, and reality intrudes. Neither girl is particularly likeable, but they are both subtly drawn characters. Madison's novel is part cultural commentary, part novel. Nothing is particularly clear-what is wrong with Val's brother, Francie's past, or the relationship of Val and Francie toward the conclusion-but it is all in keeping with the overall tone and theme of the story. This novel is a 1980s John Hughes teen movie on downers, but it is also a well-written character and cultural study. Reviewer: Mary Ann Harlan
School Library Journal

Gr 9 Up

Val, friendless and adrift, finds Francie and adopts her religious devotion to slutty ensembles and shoplifting. Off-kilter humor, moody narration, and twisted psychology make this sardonic exploration of suburbia thrilling-like pocketing lip gloss and walking right out of the store. In Madison's hands, tacky becomes fabulous and wrong weirdly morphs into holy. The girls rock conservative Sandra Dee High with gold lamé hot pants, big boobs, bigger hair, and heavy eyeliner. They travel daily to the glimmering Montgomery Shoppingtowne Mall to perfect the black art of stealing. Val and Francie zealously try to strip the place to its cement foundation. Contempt for false edifice and for the superficial frameworks behind home, school, and the mall fuel their obsessive devotion to thievery. Analytical readers will recognize metaphorical expressions of teen malaise throughout. A circuitous creek strings together teens living inside cookie-cutter houses with unnaturally green yards. However, Madison's metaphors, while fascinating, often remain too murky, and character motivations remain unclear. When Val finally dumps Francie, readers aren't exactly sure why. Francie's unfunny blond jokes and even Val's mysteriously dying brother never feel fully worked out, perhaps even in the author's mind. But Madison's tinkering with unclear, unexplained happenings also provides this imaginative novel with its wild-haired beauty. Dreamy collisions of reality and fantasy, of the nonsensical and impossible, make for a magical, slippery read.-Shelley Huntington, New York Public Library

Kirkus Reviews
The reinvention of good-girl Valentina Martinez comes in the guise of a hootchie makeover and shoplifting, all thanks to her naughty new best friend Francie Knight, who walks into class the first day of school wearing nothing but an aqua tube top and gold hot pants. Francie takes Val under her wing: She cuts and bleaches her hair, bestows on her similarly skimpy clothes, and the two hit the mall. Readers may well be dumbfounded that Val so easily slides into the life of a criminal, but Madison builds Val's desperation for attention and friendship so convincingly that they have no choice but to go with it. The Gap, Spencer Gifts and other familiar suburban haunts all fall victim to their exploits; Madison's snarky, near-satirical tone, chock-a-block with dozens of hilarious "oh no she didn't!" moments, keeps the plot from getting too cautionary. What results is a ridiculous, riotous, tongue-in-cheek mad dash through the mall where everything is not as it seems and where the cheap jokes and the bounty grow like apples on trees. (Fiction. YA)
“Madison’s honest and darkly comic prose takes this mall-rat tale to mythical heights. The punchline is definitely bittersweet and will leave a good many readers anticipating Madison’s next book.”
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061948138
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 8/25/2009
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 272
  • Age range: 14 - 17 Years
  • File size: 338 KB

Meet the Author

Bennett Madison is the author of several books for young people, including The Blonde of the Joke. He attended Sarah Lawrence College but remains two classes shy of graduation. He lives in Brooklyn, New York.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 7 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2008

    Outstanding Book!

    Val wasn't always this way. She used to have friends and do fun things. But ever since all her friends moved to various parts of the United States, she's alone, and fading away. And then she met Francie. Francie is pretty much the average blonde slut. Skirts too short, heels too high, shirts too exposing. Typical hooker-wear. She and Val are so different. But when Francie walks up to Val at the mall one day, they become instant friends. And Val gets sucked into her world, and it all starts with the shoplifting. Soon she's not only participating in Francie's not-so-legal after school activity, she's dressing like her too, smoking, and acting just like her. They're practically sisters. But even sisters fight sometimes. I absolutely adored this book. Although I'm totally depressed that the ARC that I got didn't have a cover, it was still amazing. The plot was great, the writing was great, the cover will be great when they finally put it online. It wasn't shallow like I had expected it to be. It was fabulous. I totally recommend it!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted May 1, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Reviewed by Breanna F. for

    Valentina has had friends throughout the years. But they all just seem to fade out and then she's left by herself again. She spends her time at the mall, hoping that one day something there will change her life. And what do you know, it actually happens.

    While she's browsing the racks at the Wet Seal, Francie Knight taps on her shoulder. Francie is a very provocative girl in Val's class who has been seen around campus wearing the "raincoat."

    Apparently, Francie is a major shoplifter, and soon Val is, too. All the girls ever do is hang out at the mall shoplifting basically whatever they can get their hands on in search of the "Holy Grail" - the one most amazing thing that they have ever seen in their life.

    When Val isn't with Francie, she's worrying about her older brother, Jesse, who is mysteriously dying. Val has never really understood why he is, but apparently it's going to happen someday soon. She's also starting to mess around a bit (behind Francie's back) with the very attractive boy that the girls met at the mall one day.

    Francie also deals with her own problems involving her basically psychotic mother, who randomly disappears, and when Francie finds her she'll end up staying with her grandmother for a week or so while her mom checks herself into the hospital.

    Soon Val gets a little tired of Francie's ways and decides she needs to do something. But how drastic will that something be?

    THE BLONDE OF THE JOKE is one of those books that's kind of hard to summarize, but I definitely loved it. Francie's character was so out there, and soon Val's character was, too. I also loved the ending of the story, which wasn't too abrupt or unfinished.

    All in all, this is a pretty great book. I definitely want to read something else by Bennett Madison now!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 17, 2014

    It sound very good

    It sounds vere good

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 7, 2013

    Is it approprite?

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 31, 2012

    I always wanted to read this

    Before i knew about nooks i was athe library a couple years ago and i picked up this book and was devouring it. For w.e. reason i decided not to get the book. But i jus got it and read it on a day and continued to read it and i fell in love with it. Hope u do too. Its a really great book (:

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 23, 2011

    I haven't read this but two other B.M. books are

    Lulu Dark Can See Through Walls and Lulu Dark and the Summer of the Fox

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 26, 2009

    more from this reviewer



    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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