Blood, Sweat and Stanley Pooleby James Goldman, William Goldman
For a battle hardened combat soldier the peacetime Army can hold terrors that make him wish he were back in action again. Take the case of First Lieutenant Stanley Poole, a career Sergeant who earned a battlefield commission, and is now assigned as Supply Officer on an old-line Army Post in the Middle West. It isn't that the life is unpleasant, but only that the Army has decided that its officers should pass tests indicating the equivalent of two years of college study—which makes things rather uncomfortable for a man who never even finished high school. To hold on to his cherished silver bar, Lt. Poole has been bribing Capt. Mal Malcolm, the Education Officer, with the best items that his supply room has to offer—and these have been converted into the cash necessary to buy Capt. Malcolm his heart's desire, a red Jaguar convertible. Now an inspection is in the offing, and Lt. Poole's problems compounded by the added threat of having his pilfering exposed. The arrival of Private Oglethorpe, a gun-shy young draftee with a psychological aversion to Army life seems hardly to come at the right moment but Oglethorpe, a "brain" from Oberlin College, has an idea. Why not prepare for the dreaded exam, pass it legitimately, and send Capt. Malcolm on his way? After all there are a lot of old-time Sergeants on the Base who are faced with the same problem, and between them they can replace the missing supplies and then some. The plan is put into action with "Professor" Oglethorpe in charge of the wildest, toughest and funniest group of students ever, and their "tuition" soon has the supply room back on an even keel. Poole takes the exam and passes—or so he thinks. His undoing is the vindictivenessof Capt. Malcolm, who deliberately flunks him and, in so doing, sets the stage for the hilarious climax of the play. The authors will permit slight changes in the script to make the play suitable for all Service groups. Inquiries are invited.
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