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Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.
Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life — and afterlife — in ways he never thought possible.
With a psychedelic inventiveness that invites comparisons with Kurt Vonnegut and Tom Robbins, the author of Coyote Blue spins a tale of vampires on the loose in San Francisco--a love story readers can really sink their teeth into!
Christ's wisecracking childhood pal is brought back from the dead to chronicle the Messiah's "missing years"...
A mild-mannered thrift shop owner takes a job harvesting souls for the Grim Reaper...
Whence come these wonderfully weird scenarios? From the fertile imagination of Christopher Moore, a cheerfully demented writer whose absurdist fiction has earned him comparisons to master satirists like Kurt Vonnegut, Terry Pratchett, and Douglas Adams.
Ever since his ingenious debut, 1992's Practical Demonkeeping, Moore has attracted an avid cult following. But, over the years, as his stories have become more multi-dimensional and his characters more morally complex, his fan base has expanded to include legions of enthusiastic general readers and appreciative critics.
Asked where his colorful characters come from, Moore points to his checkered job resume. Before becoming a writer, he worked at various times as a grocery clerk, an insurance broker, a waiter, a roofer, a photographer, and a DJ -- experiences he has mined for a veritable rogue's gallery of unforgettable fictional creations. Moreover, to the delight of hardcore fans, characters from one novel often resurface in another. For example, the lovesick teen vampires introduced in 1995's Bloodsucking Fiends are revived (literally) for the 2007 sequel You Suck -- which also incorporates plot points from 2006's A Dirty Job.
For a writer of satirical fantasy, Moore is a surprisingly scrupulous researcher. In pursuit of realistic details to ground his fiction, he has been known to immerse himself in marine biology, death rituals, Biblical scholarship, and Goth culture. He has been dubbed "the thinking man's Dave Barry" by none other than The Onion, a publication with a particular appreciation of smart humor.
As for story ideas, Moore elaborates on his website: "Usually [they come] from something I read. It could be a single sentence in a magazine article that kicks off a whole book. Ideas are cheap and easy. Telling a good story once you get an idea is hard." Perhaps. But, to judge from his continued presence on the bestseller lists, Chris Moore appears to have mastered the art.
One of the most memorably weird moments in Moore's body of work is no fictional invention. The scene in Bloodsucking Fiendswhere the late-night crew of a grocery store bowls with frozen turkeys is based on Moore's own experiences bowling with frozen turkeys while working the late shift at a grocery store.
Sundown painted purple across the great Pyramid while the Emperor enjoyed a steaming whiz against a dumpster in the alley be low. A low fog worked its way up from the bay, snaked around columns and over concrete lions to wash against the towers where the West's money was moved. The financial district: an hour ago it ran with rivers of men in gray wool and women in heels; now the streets, built on sunken ships and gold-rush garbage, were deserted quiet except for a foghorn that lowed across the bay like a lonesome cow.
The Emperor shook his scepter to clear the last few drops, shivered, then zipped up and turned to the royal hounds who waited at his heels. The foghorn sounds especially sad this evening, don't you think?"
The smaller of the dogs, a Boston terrier, dipped his head and licked his chops.
Bummer, you are so simple. My city is decaying before your eyes. The air is thick with poison, the children are shooting each other in the street, and now this plague, this horrible plague is killing my people by the thousands, and all you think about is food."
The Emperor nodded to the larger dog, a golden retriever.
"Lazarus knows the weight of our responsibility. Does one have to die to find dignity? I wonder."
Lazarus lowered his ears and growled.
Have I offended you, my friend?"
Bummer began growling and backing away from the dumpster. The Emperor turned to see the lid of the dumpster being slowly lifted by a pale hand. Bummer barked a warning. A figure stood up in the dumpster, his hair dark and wild and speckled with trash, skin white as bone. He vaulted out of the dumpster and hissed at the little dog, showing long white fangs. Bummer yelpedand cowered behind the Emperor's leg.
"That will be quite enough of that," the Emperor commanded, puffing himself up and tucking his thumbs under the lapels of his worn overcoat.
The vampire brushed a bit of rotted lettuce from his black shirt and grinned. I'II let you live," he said, his voice like a file on ancient rusted metal. That's your punishment."
The Emperor's eyes went wide with terror, but he held his ground. The vampire laughed, then turned and walked away.
The Emperor felt a chill run up his neck as the vampire disappeared into the fog. He hung his head and thought, Not this. My city is dying of poison and plague and now this--this creature-- stalks the streets. The responsibility is suffocating. Emperor or not, I am only a man. I am weak as water: an entire empire to save and right now I would sell my soul for a bucket of the Colonel's crispy-fried chicken. Ah, but I must be strong for the troops. It could be worse, I suppose. I could be the Emperor of Oakland.
Chins up, boys," the Emperor said to his hounds. "If we are to battle this monster, we will need our strength. There is a bakery in North Beach that will presently be dumping the day-old. Let's be off." He shuffled away thinking, Nero fiddled while his empire went to ashes; I shall eat leathery pastries.
Copyright ) 1995 by Christopher Moore
Questions for Discussion
1. Everyone has been exposed to Vampire lore, either through books, movies, or television. How does Jody's transformation into a vampire differ from how you always thought someone became a vampire? In what ways is it similar?
2. Jody and Tommy's relationship moves at a rather alarming pace, and within a week of meeting each other, they are in love. Is love at first sight possible? Or in their case, at first bite? Why do they connect so instantly?
3. The book is filled with religious connotations, whether intentional or not — from the mention of "the pyramid" (The TransAmerica Tower), to the use of crosses to ward off vampires, to the Animals being referred to as "Crusaders." How intentional do you think this was on the part of the author? What do these add to the story?
4. The book touches upon the idea of euthanasia — the practice of ending the life of a terminally ill person in a painless or minimally painful way in order to limit suffering — in that Elijah Ben Sapir, the vampire who creates Jody, only kills those who are about to die or whose lives are limited in some way. What are your feelings about "mercy killings"? Do vampires have an ethical standard?
5. When Simon threatens Jody after she refuses to turn him into a vampire, she ends up killing him in the front of his truck. Jody then blames the killing on Elijah, however, and never confesses it to Tommy. Why not admit to it when Elijah has been restrained?
6. Why are Jody and Tommy "set up" as the culprits in the recent crimes? What would it mean if they were caught? Why do these crimes need to be pinned on anyone? Couldn't the criminals cover up thecrimes in another way?
7. By the end of the novel, both detectives — Cavuto and Rivera — begin to believe in the supernatural and that vampires could exist. To what extent do you believe in the supernatural, either vampires, ghosts, or even just that some people may or may not have psychic ability?
8. Tommy uses Anne Rice's The Vampire Lestat, which of course is fiction, as his "Owner's Manual" for learning about Jody and her new powers. Discuss the author's use of fiction within fiction in order to tell a story. Have any members of your group read The Vampire Lestat? How do the two books compare?
9. Once Jody becomes a vampire, she finds that she has many new and different abilities, including superstrength, heightened senses, and superspeed. Which do you think is her most needed new superability?
10. Though Jody finds herself immortal, she also retains many of her normal human characteristics and failings, including vanity, fear, anger, and disgust. Discuss how even though she has become immortal, and can protect herself from many of the regular dangers of everyday life, she is still unable to disassociate herself from normal human emotion.
11. At the end of the book, the reader is left with the impression that Jody is about to turn Tommy into a vampire. If she does change him into a vampire, how do you imagine their story continues? How would it continue if she does not?
Enhancing Your Bookclub
1. Would you be willing to give up your normal life — being able to go out in the daylight, not being immortal — in order to become a vampire? You'd be able to live forever, have superstrength and -speed, among many other different gifts. Would it be worth it? Why? Why not?
2. To read more about vampires, take a look at the following titles: The Society of S by Susan Hubbard, Vamped by David Sosnowski, The Book of Renfield: A Gospel of Dracula by Tim Lucas, and Happy Hour at Casa Dracula by Marta Costa.
3. Learn more about vampires: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampires.
Christopher Moore is the bestselling author of You Suck, A Dirty Job, The Stupidest Angel, Fluke, Lamb, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Island of the Sequined Love Nun, Bloodsucking Fiends, and Practical Demonkeeping. Visit the
official Christopher Moore website at www.chrismoore.com.
Questions for Discussion
1. Everyone has been exposed to Vampire lore, either through books, movies, or television. How does Jody's transformation into a vampire differ from how you always thought someone became a vampire? In what ways is it similar?
2. Jody and Tommy's relationship moves at a rather alarming pace, and within a week of meeting each other, they are in love. Is love at first sight possible? Or in their case, at first bite? Why do they connect so instantly?
3. The book is filled with religious connotations, whether intentional or not — from the mention of "the pyramid" (The TransAmerica Tower), to the use of crosses to ward off vampires, to the Animals being referred to as "Crusaders." How intentional do you think this was on the part of the author? What do these add to the story?
4. The book touches upon the idea of euthanasia — the practice of ending the life of a terminally ill person in a painless or minimally painful way in order to limit suffering — in that Elijah Ben Sapir, the vampire who creates Jody, only kills those who are about to die or whose lives are limited in some way. What are your feelings about "mercy killings"? Do vampires have an ethical standard?
5. When Simon threatens Jody after she refuses to turn him into a vampire, she ends up killing him in the front of his truck. Jody then blames the killing on Elijah, however, and never confesses it to Tommy. Why not admit to it when Elijah has been restrained?
6. Why are Jody and Tommy "set up" as the culprits in the recent crimes? What would it mean if they were caught? Why do these crimes need to be pinned on anyone? Couldn't the criminals cover up the crimes in another way?
7. By the end of the novel, both detectives — Cavuto and Rivera — begin to believe in the supernatural and that vampires could exist. To what extent do you believe in the supernatural, either vampires, ghosts, or even just that some people may or may not have psychic ability?
8. Tommy uses Anne Rice's The Vampire Lestat, which of course is fiction, as his "Owner's Manual" for learning about Jody and her new powers. Discuss the author's use of fiction within fiction in order to tell a story. Have any members of your group read The Vampire Lestat? How do the two books compare?
9. Once Jody becomes a vampire, she finds that she has many new and different abilities, including superstrength, heightened senses, and superspeed. Which do you think is her most needed new superability?
10. Though Jody finds herself immortal, she also retains many of her normal human characteristics and failings, including vanity, fear, anger, and disgust. Discuss how even though she has become immortal, and can protect herself from many of the regular dangers of everyday life, she is still unable to disassociate herself from normal human emotion.
11. At the end of the book, the reader is left with the impression that Jody is about to turn Tommy into a vampire. If she does change him into a vampire, how do you imagine their story continues? How would it continue if she does not?
Enhancing Your Bookclub
1. Would you be willing to give up your normal life — being able to go out in the daylight, not being immortal — in order to become a vampire? You'd be able to live forever, have superstrength and -speed, among many other different gifts. Would it be worth it? Why? Why not?
2. To read more about vampires, take a look at the following titles: The Society of S by Susan Hubbard, Vamped by David Sosnowski, The Book of Renfield: A Gospel of Dracula by Tim Lucas, and Happy Hour at Casa Dracula by Marta Costa.
3. Learn more about vampires: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampires.
If you wish to escape life for a while and laugh this is the book for you. Be careful where you read it however, as you will laugh out loud and be looked at strangely. You Suck is the followup and is just as funny.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Uggo
Posted February 6, 2011
A few years ago on a trip to a bookstore I picked up "A Dirty Job" and in less than 40 pages fell in love with it. Christopher Moore is an wonderfully funny author, who seems to grow in leaps and bounds with every book he writes. However, with this being one of his earlier works, it's really not one of his best efforts.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.If you are looking for a fun, light-hearted book this is the one for you! Its a humorous story about newborn vampires. Now before you judge it, this IS NOT another version on Twilight. Its a novel for adults and has some funny yet rather adult situations. So beware, this reads in true Christopher Moore fashion, probably not for everyone. But if you are in the mood to read something a little different then take a moment and check it out!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.This is a 'Seinfield' sort of a story featuring: a hapless, somewhat air-brained 27 year old woman turned vampire; her smitten and nerdy 19 year old grocery stacking minion from 'Incontinence' Indiana; an ancient vampire with a warped sense of humor and need to spice up his unlife; a wise, looney and large indigent Emperor of San Francisco attended by his canine guardsmen; and, a nighttime grocery stocking crew of stoners straight out of "Animal House" (with a little dumbed down "Mash" thrown in) who, (excluding the food-blessing born-again reformed stoner), enjoy supermarket "Jackass" stunts while having luaus in the produce aisle. All these characters, other than the mysterious ancient vamp, are surprisingly sympathetic, and the story is both hilarious and engaging. If you like to laugh and smile, I suggest that you read this book.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.People don't realize how hard it is to write funny stuff and Christopher Moore is the master of writing funny stuff. I don't even understand how more people aren't talking about this guy. I loved the hilarious love story of young Tommy and Jody in San Francisco. I've never read anything like this and I loved every paragraph. Seriously great writing.
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted March 11, 2013
MAKE SURE YOU READ THEM IN ORDER!!! GREAT!!!
0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted January 17, 2013
Funny twist on all the vamp hype!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.DanaFS
Posted December 14, 2012
I had a difficult time getting through this book. I know others have found it very entertaining but for some reason I didn't. Easy to read without much deep thinking (which I enjoy on occassion) but I just didn't find it that funny. I really wanted to enjoy it but it just didn't work for me.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted July 12, 2012
I really enjoyed this book. And i will for sure read more from this author.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted December 27, 2011
I love the twilight books but, should i get this book?
0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Great read
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.TJ-Shark-Jaw
Posted January 3, 2011
This is a wonderful, funny (if you have an imagination), exciting book to read. I actually love Christopher Moore as a writer. The off beat sarcastic humor is so me. Twilight fans beware these have been out longer and are way better. What dude hasn't ever wanted to sick there woman in a freezer, when you just don't know what to do with them anymore?
I did get some looks in the break room due to laughing hysterically. Just a friendly warning.
sucked sucked sucked... I only got about 40 pages into it.
0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.fanoftheweird
Posted June 3, 2010
It took me a couple days to truely get into this book. First I dont really like the writing style that Christopher Moore uses, as far as every other page is a different characters story, or account of whats happening. I usually like the story coming from one person. But besides that the story was very orginal and funny. The book came together at the end which is a huge plus. Id recommend this book to any vampire fan or sci fi lover. I'm reading the sequel now, so hopefully Moore can deliver another great story.
0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Lewd, brash, insightful and affectedly hilarious, Moore's take on love is decidedly twisted and altogether awesome. Somewhere between Tom Robbins, Discworld and Ginsberg, you'll find this depraved tale of love, loss and vampirism. And the sex wasn't so bad either.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.tbog4
Posted May 5, 2010
I Also Recommend:
The ultimate in romantic comedy "vampire style" ... Truely entertaining and hard to put down once you have started!!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.luna28
Posted April 26, 2010
I Also Recommend:
I found my self getting strange looks from everyone around me when I read this book in public places. I couldn't stop myself from snorting, giggling or flat out laughing out loud. While I wouldn't call it a classic in the traditional sense I did find it enormously enjoyable. I now consider Christopher Morre as one of my favorite pleasure reading authors. Without a doubt, the book to pick up when you would like to shake off the blues.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.MegBrit
Posted April 26, 2010
I love anything by Christopher Moore, and this book did not disappoint!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.this book is such a great read... it was so funny, i actually laughed out loud quite a few times... as soon as i finished it, i ran out and purchased the next 2 books in this series.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.i have not picked up a Christopher Moore book that i have not been able to finish within days! i just love them so much and get so enthralled in the book and story that i cannot stop reading...often finding myself reading well into the morning hours trying to get to the next chapter, next chapter...his writing is fantasitc..the way he writes is not like he is writing at all, but actually telling you a story
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Overview
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.
Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his...