Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends

4.2 282
by Christopher Moore
     
 

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Life in San Francisco is anything but the dream Tommy Floyd envisioned for himself. When a beautiful woman named Jody enters Tommy's life, she changes it for all eternity. Jody is a vampier who sets her sights on tommy. Their ensuing romance is filled with passion, bloodlust and, of course, an inevitable amount of blood loss.Life in San Francisco is anything but the…  See more details below

Overview

Life in San Francisco is anything but the dream Tommy Floyd envisioned for himself. When a beautiful woman named Jody enters Tommy's life, she changes it for all eternity. Jody is a vampier who sets her sights on tommy. Their ensuing romance is filled with passion, bloodlust and, of course, an inevitable amount of blood loss.Life in San Francisco is anything but the dream Tommy Floyd envisioned for himself. When a beautiful woman named Jody enters Tommy's life, she changes it for all eternity. Jody is a vampier who sets her sights on tommy. Their ensuing romance is filled with passion, bloodlust and, of course, an inevitable amount of blood loss.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
A young man falls in love with a beautiful vampire in Moore's offbeat comic novel. (Oct.)
Library Journal
Tommy Flood, a teenaged Jack Kerouac wannabe, leaves his home in Indiana to search for his artistic muse and some adventure. What he finds is Jody, a beautiful redhead who has recently been transformed into a vampire and is trying to find a way to cope with her new "life." Together they go on a giddy romp of San Francisco, dealing with the occasional corpse, some suspicious cops, and a nasty old vampire. They also discover some surprising truths about morality, love, and the mechanics of vampirism along the way. A note to vampire fans: Anne Rice this isn't. Filled with oddball characters, clever dialog, and hilarious situations that are Moore's (Coyote Blue, LJ 1/94) trademarks, this delightful tale deserves a spot on all popular fiction shelves. Highly recommended.-Rebecca House Stankowski, Purdue Univ. Calumet Lib., Hammond, Ind.
From the Publisher
"Deft and funny." —The New York Times Book Review

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780060735418
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
05/25/2004
Series:
Bloodsucking Fiends Series, #1
Pages:
304
Product dimensions:
4.84(w) x 8.70(h) x 0.50(d)

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1
Death

Sundown painted purple across the great Pyramid while the Emperor enjoyed a steaming whiz against a dumpster in the alley be low. A low fog worked its way up from the bay, snaked around columns and over concrete lions to wash against the towers where the West's money was moved. The financial district: an hour ago it ran with rivers of men in gray wool and women in heels; now the streets, built on sunken ships and gold-rush garbage, were deserted quiet except for a foghorn that lowed across the bay like a lonesome cow.

The Emperor shook his scepter to clear the last few drops, shivered, then zipped up and turned to the royal hounds who waited at his heels. The foghorn sounds especially sad this evening, don't you think?"

The smaller of the dogs, a Boston terrier, dipped his head and licked his chops.

Bummer, you are so simple. My city is decaying before your eyes. The air is thick with poison, the children are shooting each other in the street, and now this plague, this horrible plague is killing my people by the thousands, and all you think about is food."

The Emperor nodded to the larger dog, a golden retriever.

"Lazarus knows the weight of our responsibility. Does one have to die to find dignity? I wonder."

Lazarus lowered his ears and growled.

Have I offended you, my friend?"

Bummer began growling and backing away from the dumpster. The Emperor turned to see the lid of the dumpster being slowly lifted by a pale hand. Bummer barked a warning. A figure stood up in the dumpster, his hair dark and wild and speckled with trash, skin white as bone. He vaulted out of the dumpster and hissed at the little dog, showing long white fangs. Bummer yelpedand cowered behind the Emperor's leg.

"That will be quite enough of that," the Emperor commanded, puffing himself up and tucking his thumbs under the lapels of his worn overcoat.

The vampire brushed a bit of rotted lettuce from his black shirt and grinned. I'II let you live," he said, his voice like a file on ancient rusted metal. That's your punishment."

The Emperor's eyes went wide with terror, but he held his ground. The vampire laughed, then turned and walked away.

The Emperor felt a chill run up his neck as the vampire disappeared into the fog. He hung his head and thought, Not this. My city is dying of poison and plague and now this--this creature-- stalks the streets. The responsibility is suffocating. Emperor or not, I am only a man. I am weak as water: an entire empire to save and right now I would sell my soul for a bucket of the Colonel's crispy-fried chicken. Ah, but I must be strong for the troops. It could be worse, I suppose. I could be the Emperor of Oakland.

Chins up, boys," the Emperor said to his hounds. "If we are to battle this monster, we will need our strength. There is a bakery in North Beach that will presently be dumping the day-old. Let's be off." He shuffled away thinking, Nero fiddled while his empire went to ashes; I shall eat leathery pastries.

Copyright ) 1995 by Christopher Moore

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Meet the Author

Christopher Moore is the bestselling author of You Suck, A Dirty Job, The Stupidest Angel, Fluke, Lamb, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Island of the Sequined Love Nun, Bloodsucking Fiends, and Practical Demonkeeping. Visit the
official Christopher Moore website at www.chrismoore.com.

Brief Biography

Hometown:
Hawaii and San Francisco, California
Date of Birth:
August 5, 1958
Place of Birth:
Toledo, Ohio
Website:
http://www.chrismoore.com

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