The Blueprint for My Girls in Love: 99 Rules for Dating, Relationships, and Intimacy

The Blueprint for My Girls in Love: 99 Rules for Dating, Relationships, and Intimacy

by Yasmin Shiraz
     
 

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This is my first relationship. What should I do?
I don't know who to trust. Which guys can be trusted?
My best friend and I like the same guy. Should we remain friends?
Has everyone had sex except me? How long should I wait?

No one defines your life but you.
After publishing her first book, The Blueprint for My Girls,

Overview

This is my first relationship. What should I do?
I don't know who to trust. Which guys can be trusted?
My best friend and I like the same guy. Should we remain friends?
Has everyone had sex except me? How long should I wait?

No one defines your life but you.
After publishing her first book, The Blueprint for My Girls, author Yasmin Shiraz conducted workshops with girls across the country. She was flooded with questions the girls had about love, relationships, and intimacy, questions they didn't feel comfortable asking their family and friends. She realized that her role as the "old enough to advise you, young enough to keep it real" big sister could help girls stay grounded as they experienced dating, relationships, and intimacy for the first time. In this book, Yasmin tackles the pressures of dating, breaking up, and friendships — as well as HIV, pregnancy, and abuse. By sharing her own mistakes Yasmin helps girls answer the tough questions without being preachy.
It's the perfect guide to help young girls decide for themselves what they want from relationships, guys, and love.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Girls — you really need to read this book. It's to the point, funny, and separates relationship truths from fiction. Just put it in your bag and take it wherever you go. Then, the next time you're in any kind of dating situation you can take it out and get some clarity."
— Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes and cofounder of the Empower Program

"Read this book! It will encourage you to honor you and to stay strong. Your presence — whole and healthy — is necessary!"
— Terrie M. Williams, author of Stay Strong: Simple Life Lessons for Teens

School Library Journal
Gr 7 Up-A motivational speaker sets forth her rules for teen girls. Each one begins with a scenario and question ("I met a guy in a teen chat room, and he seems really cool. Should I meet him in person?"), followed by Shiraz's advice ("Cyberdating is here, but you still have to be sensible"); a brief discussion; "My Testimony," where Shiraz shares something from her personal experience; the "Blueprint" plan of action; and, finally, "Your Testimony," which offers an opportunity for self-application. The issues raised relate to relationships with boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, current girlfriends, and parents, and deal with privacy, jealousy, violence, self-esteem, and sexual relations. The author cuts through common myths and self-justification, stating clearly that "Oral sex is sex," for instance. She writes in a sometimes too-cool jargon ("Me and my girls never did each other wrong when it came to guys"). More problematic is the occasional lapse of continuity between the initial question and the following discussion. A question about how to know if one is a lesbian includes a discussion of Shiraz's conversations with teens who are afraid to use the school's restrooms due to aggressive sexual behavior from other girls. The blueprint states, "Even if it appears that lesbians have become more popular, that does not mean that liking girls is for me," which fails to address the initial question. Judith Peacock's Dating and Sex (Capstone, 2000) offers a more traditional, straightforward take, and Annie Fox's Can You Relate? (Free Spirit, 2000) covers the same topics with a comfortably chatty approach.-Joyce Adams Burner, Hillcrest Library, Prairie Village, KS Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780743270960
Publisher:
Touchstone
Publication date:
05/31/2005
Edition description:
Original
Pages:
256
Product dimensions:
5.90(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.60(d)

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One: Phase 1

Dating

The beginning phase of every good relationship is the time in which you get to know each other. In this phase you learn about each other's thoughts, fears, and feelings. It's the foundation of a relationship that could blossom in the future. Without any pressures or expectations, dating can be a rewarding experience.

How will I ever get a boyfriend if

all the girls in school are prettier or

dress better than I do?

Rule 1

Comparing yourself to other girls is a dead end.

She sits across from you in math class. Every time you have on a new outfit, so does she. Every time you come to school with a fly hairdo, she arrives the next day with an even better one. It seems like everything you do, she's doing, and everything you want to do, she's doing. You can't outdo her, but it seems like she's outdoing you without any effort. But there's one point that you're forgetting: your life is not about the girl in math class. Your life is not about anybody but you. The only person that you should ever be willing to compare yourself to is YOU. And not only that, the person that you are comparing yourself to is probably also comparing herself to you. No matter how perfect someone seems on the outside, everyone has insecurities. The key is to get over them and love yourself anyway.

My Testimony

I'm five-three, and I used to be obsessed with being taller. It seemed to me that girls who were three or four inches taller looked so much better in their clothes. In high school, I worried about the length of my hair. It was shoulder length, but if I looked at a girl whose hair was longer, I felt that my hair was not long enough. When I started dating, I compared myself to other girls even more because I wanted to know what kind of girls guys liked. But when I reached my junior year in high school, I decided to focus on the things that I felt made me stand out and feel good about me. I began to cherish certain aspects about myself that I hadn't seemed to care about before, like my smile, having dimples, the natural waves in my hair. Then I started getting compliments on my hairstyles, the clothes that I wore, and how I carried myself. The more I took interest in myself, the more I realized that God created me the way He wanted me to be. And if guys weren't gonna like me for who I was, then they didn't deserve me anyway.

Blueprint

I can't focus on what other girls look like. God made me the way that I am.

Your Testimony

Is there a girl who you often compare yourself to at school? Put yourself in her shoes and make a list of the things she probably admires about you.

Copyright © 2005 by Yasmin Shiraz

Meet the Author

Yasmin Shiraz is the former publisher of Mad Rhythms magazine. She is also the founder of College Entertainment, Inc. and president of The Signals Agency. Her website is www.yasminshiraz.net. She resides in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

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