Read an Excerpt
Chapter One: Phase 1Dating
The beginning phase of every good relationship is the time in which you get to know each other. In this phase you learn about each other's thoughts, fears, and feelings. It's the foundation of a relationship that could blossom in the future. Without any pressures or expectations, dating can be a rewarding experience.
How will I ever get a boyfriend if
all the girls in school are prettier or
dress better than I do?
Rule 1
Comparing yourself to other girls is a dead end.
She sits across from you in math class. Every time you have on a new outfit, so does she. Every time you come to school with a fly hairdo, she arrives the next day with an even better one. It seems like everything you do, she's doing, and everything you want to do, she's doing. You can't outdo her, but it seems like she's outdoing you without any effort. But there's one point that you're forgetting: your life is not about the girl in math class. Your life is not about anybody but you. The only person that you should ever be willing to compare yourself to is YOU. And not only that, the person that you are comparing yourself to is probably also comparing herself to you. No matter how perfect someone seems on the outside, everyone has insecurities. The key is to get over them and love yourself anyway.
My Testimony
I'm five-three, and I used to be obsessed with being taller. It seemed to me that girls who were three or four inches taller looked so much better in their clothes. In high school, I worried about the length of my hair. It was shoulder length, but if I looked at a girl whose hairwas longer, I felt that my hair was not long enough. When I started dating, I compared myself to other girls even more because I wanted to know what kind of girls guys liked. But when I reached my junior year in high school, I decided to focus on the things that I felt made me stand out and feel good about me. I began to cherish certain aspects about myself that I hadn't seemed to care about before, like my smile, having dimples, the natural waves in my hair. Then I started getting compliments on my hairstyles, the clothes that I wore, and how I carried myself. The more I took interest in myself, the more I realized that God created me the way He wanted me to be. And if guys weren't gonna like me for who I was, then they didn't deserve me anyway.
Blueprint
I can't focus on what other girls look like. God made me the way that I am.
Your Testimony
Is there a girl who you often compare yourself to at school? Put yourself in her shoes and make a list of the things she probably admires about you.
Copyright © 2005 by Yasmin Shiraz
