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The Bluffer's Guide to Astrology & Fortune Telling
By Rae, Alexander C.
Oval BooksCopyright © 2000 Rae, Alexander C.
All right reserved.
Bluffing is so important in the telling of fortunes that soothsayers have invented their own special word for it. They call it 'interpretation.'
'Predictive sciences', 'prognosticative powers' or even 'oracular sensitivity' are all terms which mean fortune telling, and somehow sound better. Use them regularly. As a general rule use the most significant description (i.e. the longest words). Don't 'read tea leaves' - use 'tasseographic augury'.
In phrenology the areas of interest are duplicated on both sides of the skull so if you find a bump on one side of the head and not on the other you can make great play of it. Bumps usually denote a positive ability or skill. However you don't need to stick to this if you feel like finding a spurious bump that makes the person 'inclined to say silly things' or gives them a desire to cheat at Trivial Pursuits.
Molescopy is divination by means of moles. Although it is not really a serious method of augury, it can be used to create an instant impression. For instance, you can tell a complete stranger that because he has a mole on his right temple he is exceptionally able but should guard against illness in later life. Don't try it with someone who has a mole in the middle of their forehead. This is supposed to show a vicious nature and a bad temper. It could just be true.
You can always keep people off-balance by insisting that all the things they believed about the Tarot are false. The best one is to say that 13 (Death) is not an unlucky card. Say it means the end of an outmoded phase of their life and an exciting new start. But be sure not to take a post dated cheque for the reading.
Excerpted from The Bluffer's Guide to Astrology & Fortune Telling by Rae, Alexander C. Copyright © 2000 by Rae, Alexander C.. Excerpted by permission.
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