Bond of Brothers: Connecting with Other Men Beyond Work, Weather and Sports

( 5 )

Overview

“The perfect conversation for men with little to say can be summed up in eight words: 'Can you believe the weather at that game?'”

Author Wes Yoder’s words are humorous. Yet beyond the sports and weather chatter and silence that characterize many male conversations, there is brokenness. Emptiness. Shame. That’s not funny.

For Yoder, addressing the problem is not about planting the flag for one’s manhood by joining a mass movement for men, nor is it necessary for men to “sire a ...

See more details below
Paperback
$11.29
BN.com price
(Save 13%)$12.99 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (17) from $1.99   
  • New (11) from $1.99   
  • Used (6) from $1.99   
Bond of Brothers: Connecting with Other Men Beyond Work, Weather and Sports

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$7.99
BN.com price

Overview

“The perfect conversation for men with little to say can be summed up in eight words: 'Can you believe the weather at that game?'”

Author Wes Yoder’s words are humorous. Yet beyond the sports and weather chatter and silence that characterize many male conversations, there is brokenness. Emptiness. Shame. That’s not funny.

For Yoder, addressing the problem is not about planting the flag for one’s manhood by joining a mass movement for men, nor is it necessary for men to “sire a herd or shoot a moose to authenticate their manhood.” Yoder calls disappointed, disenchanted, and lonely men to authenticity. To rediscover joy. To find satisfaction.

In Bond of Brothers, men will discover:
- Why your career and performance at work are not your identity
- How to defeat the fears that come to a man in the “Tough Years"
- What to do when you are too worried to forgive or too power-hungry to smile
- Why spiritual friendships are the central, life-giving core of all healthy relationships among men

Being present to comfort, to love, to listen, to take a step toward Jesus together in our brokenness … that is the essence of friendship, Yoder says. When we invite Jesus into our shared brokenness, he can do the work of remaking what is left of the mess we have made of ourselves. Begin a journey toward authenticity and your true identity here!

Read More Show Less

What People Are Saying

From the Publisher
'BAM! Wes Yoder hit me right in the mouth with a fresh, desperately needed, and penetrating look into the male mind, our modern malaise, and our maddening quest for validation. No stale bread, no tired cliches, and no peacocking in Bond of Brothers. Wes says things in this book I have never heard anyone say about men and, more to the point, about me! Grab a steak knife and come to this book hungry. You will taste and see victory in its pages.'

—Kenny Luck, men's pastor, Every Man Ministries, Saddleback Church — Kenny Luck

'Bond of Brothers is a compelling invitation to men of all ages to engage in an ongoing, genuine, and meaningful conversation with other men. It's a summons to an authentic exchange that will foster friendship, deepen fellowship, and encourage a truthful dialog about things that really matter in life and faith.'

—Peter York, president, EMI CMG Label Group — Peter York

'In a culture drowning in sensitivity to female concerns, there has been a drought of books by and for men. Wes Yoder's Bond of Brothers is the oasis we've been waiting and hoping for.' — Cal Thomas

Finally, a book for men written by a man. Such books are usually written by women, often with very impressive credentials, but only men really understand men. In my humble opinion, Bond of Brothers is one of the best books of its kind.'

—Dave Berg, producer of The Tonight Show — Dave Berg

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780310319993
  • Publisher: Zondervan
  • Publication date: 4/23/2013
  • Pages: 192
  • Product dimensions: 5.40 (w) x 8.30 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Raised on a dairy farm in the Amish and Mennonite community of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, Wes Yoder moved to Nashville in 1973 to work in the music business. Over the past 40 years, he launched the careers of many well-known artists and speakers. His projects have included representation of The Shack, Bonhoeffer, The Purpose Driven Life, and Mistaken Identity. He has been interviewed by The TODAY Show, NBC Nightly News, Dateline NBC, ABC’s Prime Time and The New York TImes. Wes and his wife, Linda, live in Franklin, Tennessee and have two children and three grandchildren.

Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

Bond of Brothers

connecting with other men beyond work, weather, and sports


By Wes Yoder

ZONDERVAN

Copyright © 2010Wes Yoder
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-310-31999-3


Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

LET'S TALK ABOUT MANHOOD


Where are your zeal and your might? The stirring of your inner parts and your compassion are held back from me. Isaiah 63:15


My dad never was a bitter man. For years, he was a legalist, stern about work and faith, but always with a song on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, a smile working the corners of his face. Unlike other legalists we knew, he fought his fears. Ultimately, he was a lousy legalist. His heart just wasn't into it.

In his early years, Dad viewed good behavior and performance equivalent with godliness, external proof of a credible inward and personal experience of faith. The better the externals, the better the proof you really meant it with God. But as the years wore on, the song of his heart gradually melted external performance in exchange for a deep understanding that God loved him and the rest of us, whether we could perform for God or not. You could hear his clear tenor voice while he milked the cows, while driving up the road, in the shop, and for years, day after day, singing around the dinner table with family and friends. Many times, he took the heat with his own relatives for not being strict enough with his boys. His kindness to me saved my life.

The details are no longer important because it is his story to tell, but it took Dad close to seventy years of his life to learn to walk in complete truth with his family. How long has it taken me? You? All I know is that now my dad is a free man, and his freedom has much to do with mine, as you will see. Your children are connected to you, for better or for worse, in the same way.

Over the years, I've had more than a fleeting thought that I should run from writing this book, but I have resisted the vacuum of silence. I like hiding in my quiet little world as much as you do, and going public with honest thoughts and ideas that are still under construction might destroy any remaining illusion that I have my act together. Instead, I have decided to help create a conversation about what I see as the architecture of a man's heart and soul and to help men find a language that expresses who they are as men in order to restore their families and their dreams, even if, as James Taylor sang, their dreams lie like "flying machines in pieces on the ground."

I know with all my heart that men who have been broken but have not allowed their hearts to become bitter are more useful in the kingdom of God than those who have not yet been broken. They are also invariably more pleasant, and perhaps I can help a bitter man become a better man with a renewed sense of purpose and hope. Perhaps together we can overcome our fears.

Much of what I know I learned the hard way, in "the university of hard knocks, the school that completes our education," as Ralph Parlette put it. My brothers on the journey and I are like men wrestling in a desert night with angels, as Jacob did. Just before dawn, his final rasping cry was "I will not let you go unless you bless me." He emerged from that unlikely match with a limp, but also with a blessing pronounced on him by God. If you look into my life and yours, you will find that both of us limp as well. Perhaps you have already discovered that God has blessed you and kept you and healed you and has poured his grace into your heart, and that he continues to do so day by day. Perhaps that seems like an impossible dream, good for me or for someone else but too distant to experience yourself.

You, valuable brother, are the reason I have decided to write our hearts and souls into this book about men, about the stuff we don't talk about, in order to capture that which has been stolen from us — our families, our children, our grandchildren, and our friends. This book about the struggle to become a man, to understand ourselves, to be alive in our manhood, is for you, and for all of us.


LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON

The man every guy should know best — his father — is likely the man he knows least. Too often, our fathers walk through our lives as silent heroes or mysterious, distant figures. Male, but undefined; man, but opaque in silence. How often have you heard or said, "My dad doesn't say very much" or, "I didn't know my father all that well"? This is a cry that grows from a wince in the heart of a young boy to something much worse in the chest of a grown man, finding himself falling into the pattern of "like father, like son," wishing he could call that man "friend."

When my dad was eighty-nine, he told me that his father, a stern but devout man, complimented him only once. He remembers the moment like it happened yesterday, and the words to him are like fresh-spun honey.

"What did you do to earn such high praise from my grandpa?" I asked.

His face lit up. "I stacked the sheaves of wheat on the wagon better than any of my eight brothers," he said.

While I realize that's a pretty nice compliment for a farm boy from a big family, I said to him, "Dad, try to imagine what it would have meant had Grandpa commended you, say, just ten times during your childhood rather than once. What would that have been like?"

"I don't know."

Such expressive love was beyond his comprehension. Even though he was eighty-nine years old, I could still hear in his voice the longing of the son for life-giving words of grace and truth from his father.

Some time later, I asked him another question. "Dad," I said, "you've told me several times you knew your father loved you. How did you know? Did he ever tell you he loved you?"

"No," he said, "I never heard those words." His voice trailed away.

"Not even when you were grown and had a family of your own?"

"No. Not even once." Dad paused. "But I always knew he did. When I was drafted in 1941, he told me he wished he could go in my place."

That my dad eventually discovered an entirely new way to live is remarkable.

Nearly every man I know can recite word for word a beautiful compliment or a harsh criticism received from his father. He can quote it precisely, half a lifetime later. Words, especially those spoken by a father, have the power to break or to heal the human spirit. With words, spiritual strongholds are formed, and by them spiritual legacies are created, good and bad. Words have the power to shape the entire course of a child's life, and fathers hold the keys of life for their children. To withhold from them the simple elegance of a compliment, a hug, or an "I love you," whether they "deserve" it or not, is a sentence of death. It is an emotional and spiritual death, but a death nonetheless.

If what we say, who we are, and what we do are the three things by which we will be remembered, see if this describes you or your father (or most of the men you know):

• We don't show our hurts.

• We never cry.

• We have a hard time expressing compassion or how we really feel.

• We seldom, if ever, give an unqualified compliment.

• We do not feel respected.

• Our language does not include words as simple as "I love you, son. I'm very proud of you."

• We talk about our golf games or the weather as if they are the most important topics, but the truly significant events of our lives as men lie hidden somewhere beneath the surface, invisible to our sons and daughters, invisible even to ourselves.

We are silent.


THE SILENCE OF MAN

The things men don't talk about are some of the most important things in life. They are clues both to our sorrows and to traits we esteem but cannot achieve, to things we love and things we fear. B
(Continues...)


Excerpted from Bond of Brothers by Wes Yoder. Copyright © 2010 by Wes Yoder. Excerpted by permission of ZONDERVAN.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Contents

Foreword by Wm. Paul Young....................     7     

Preface....................     9     

Introduction....................     11     

1. Let's Talk about Manhood....................     15     

2. The Weather Is Fine, but I'm a Little Messed Up....................     31     

3. Game and Story — Entering the Kingdom of God....................     49     

4. The Glory and Shame of Fathers and Sons....................     65     

5. Our Need for Help....................     81     

6. The Power of Opposites....................     97     

7. Where the Beauty Starts....................     111     

8. Sorrow — the Hand That Shapes Us....................     121     

9. The Tough Years....................     135     

10. Sadness in the Church....................     151     

11. Build Your Own Coffin....................     163     

12. The Christ-Man....................     173     

A Prayer for Empty Men....................     184     

Notes....................     185     

Questions for Discussion and Reflection....................     188     

About Wes Yoder....................     191     


Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 5 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(4)

4 Star

(1)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2014

    Sexy19

    I want to have sex with you

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 10, 2013

    Star

    Hi

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 9, 2013

    Kevin to Rose

    Hey

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 6, 2011

    EXCELLENT well written, content very hel

    a must read for men

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 2, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)