Boost Your Self-Esteem with CBT: A Teach Yourself Guide

Overview

Improve your self-esteem by mastering the principles of CBT

Using the proven techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy, this book will help you understand the impact that poor self-esteem could be having on your life and give you the tools you need to turn self-criticism into self-acceptance. It will help you tackle and change the negative beliefs that cause you anxiety and pain. You will become fundamentally more confident, content and at ...

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Overview

Improve your self-esteem by mastering the principles of CBT

Using the proven techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy, this book will help you understand the impact that poor self-esteem could be having on your life and give you the tools you need to turn self-criticism into self-acceptance. It will help you tackle and change the negative beliefs that cause you anxiety and pain. You will become fundamentally more confident, content and at ease with yourself.

You can also visit teachyourself.com for tests, extension articles and a vibrant community of like-minded learners. And if you don't have much time, don't worry—this book gives you one-, five-, and 10-minute bites of learning to get you started.

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Product Details

Meet the Author

Christine Wilding holds a post-graduate diploma in cognitive behavioural therapy from the University of London and is a practising CBT therapist at the Cygnet Hospital, Sevenoaks, Kent, as well as in private and corporate practice. Christine is also a chartered human resource practitioner specialising in workplace stress management and inter-personal skills training.

Stephen Palmer is founder director of the Centre for Stress Management, honorary professor of psychology at City University, coaching trainer and consultant, and editor of numerous journals.

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Table of Contents

Meet the authors ix

Only got a minute? x

Only got five minutes? xii

Only got ten minutes? xvi

Introduction xxii

1 Great self-esteem: what is it? 1

What is self-esteem? 1

Childhood origins 3

Adulthood: time to tackle low self-esteem 4

Introducing your Personal Fault Finder 8

The importance of risk taking 11

The consequences of low self-esteem 12

Introducing self-acceptance 15

Your personal view of yourself 21

Goal setting 23

2 Thinking your way out of low self-esteem 28

Identifying the problem 28

The different levels of thinking 30

Beliefs versus facts 31

Negative thoughts, assumptions and beliefs 32

Rules for living 36

The role of emotion in low self-esteem 38

Self-defeating behaviour 42

Replacing self-defeating thoughts and beliefs 46

Recognizing distorted thinking patterns 51

More tools to help you challenge self-defeating thoughts 56

Tackling negative beliefs 64

Bringing your positive qualities into focus 74

3 The perfection trap 79

What is perfectionism? 79

Challenging perfectionist beliefs 85

Developing healthier values 87

4 Defeat low self-esteem by developing self-acceptance 92

Developing self-acceptance 92

Healthy versus unhealthy self-acceptance 94

5 'It's not my fault: life is against me' 103

The low self-esteem victim 103

Self-pity: blaming yourself rather than others 107

Taking responsibility for your feelings 109

Don't give up 111

6 Increase your self-esteem through assertiveness 114

The role of assertiveness in good self-esteem 114

Assertiveness skills 115

The four behaviour types 118

Behaving assertively 124

Being assertive with yourself 126

Your assertive rights 128

7 Act your way to good self-esteem 132

'Faking' good self-esteem 132

Master confident body language 133

Cultivate a confident expression 134

Develop a confident-sounding voice 136

First impressions 138

8 Body image 142

Is your body image a problem? 142

How does poor body image affect you? 144

Say 'Goodbye' to poor body image 146

Making changes 152

9 Becoming an optimist 155

Increasing optimism 156

Positive thinking 158

10 Self-esteem and relationships 165

Why low self-esteem blights relationships 165

How to gain confidence in your relationship 167

Using openness and honesty 171

Surviving a break-up with your self-esteem intact 173

11 Developing emotional strength 177

What is resilience? 177

The characteristics of resilience 180

Develop emotional strength by improving resilience 184

Sources of resilience 186

Understanding resilience as a process 188

Developing resilience 189

12 Developing as a person to increase self-esteem 194

The keys to the kingdom: your values 194

Which values are important to you? 196

Creating your personal plan 199

Working on your values 200

Tackling serious errors of judgement 204

Deeply held negative feelings 208

Feedback from others can be helpful 209

Moving forward: your goal plan 213

Appendix A professional assistance 216

Appendix B alcohol dependency and abusive relationships 219

Taking it further 222

References and further reading 223

Index 226

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