Boston Marriages

Overview

This collection of theoretical essays and personal stories is not just about "Boston marriages," a term referring to two women in a nonsexual but nonetheless deeply committed relationship. As the book so well concludes, there is no language for this type of relationship, not just for lesbians but for anyone--gay, straight, male, or female--who relates to others outside the traditional roles of friend, lover, spouse, or relative. Living in a society that invalidates a love that has not been sexually validated, the...
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Overview

This collection of theoretical essays and personal stories is not just about "Boston marriages," a term referring to two women in a nonsexual but nonetheless deeply committed relationship. As the book so well concludes, there is no language for this type of relationship, not just for lesbians but for anyone--gay, straight, male, or female--who relates to others outside the traditional roles of friend, lover, spouse, or relative. Living in a society that invalidates a love that has not been sexually validated, the women subjects of this book speak passionately about relationships they have kept hidden even from their own lesbian community; the essays by well-known writers in the area of lesbian studies pale in comparison. This book's apparently specific nature should not deter academics and others interested in the study of human relationships. For academic libraries and women's studies collections.
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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
This collection of theoretical essays and personal stories is not just about ``Boston marriages,'' a term referring to two women in a nonsexual but nonetheless deeply committed relationship. As the book so well concludes, there is no language for this type of relationship, not just for lesbians but for anyone--gay, straight, male, or female--who relates to others outside the traditional roles of friend, lover, spouse, or relative. Living in a society that invalidates a love that has not been sexually validated, the women subjects of this book speak passionately about relationships they have kept hidden even from their own lesbian community; the essays by well-known writers in the area of lesbian studies pale in comparison. This book's apparently specific nature should not deter academics and others interested in the study of human relationships. For academic libraries and women's studies collections.-- Patricia Sarles, Brooklyn P.L.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780870238765
  • Publisher: University of Massachusetts Press
  • Publication date: 11/17/1993
  • Pages: 218
  • Product dimensions: 0.50 (w) x 6.00 (h) x 9.00 (d)

Table of Contents

Introduction: Why focus on romantic but asexual relationships among lesbians? 3
Early memories, current realities 14
Coming to consciousness: Some reflections on the Boston marriage 19
Nineteenth-century Boston marriage as a possible lesson for today 29
"Why limit me to ecstasy?" Toward a positive model of genital incidentalism among friends and other lovers 43
Celibacy 62
Lesbian courtship scripts 70
The Boston marriage in the therapy office 86
What's sex got to do with it? 99
When we were whatever we were: Whatever it was that we had 109
She will never have the access to the total person that I have 124
We've had a lot of history under our belts
Pt. I Angie 132
Pt. II Cedar 138
Cast of Characters 141
"I think it has to do with the fact that I love her" 148
We have bliss 157
A Boston engagement 164
Television and books and just people talking make it seem that there is more sex going on than there really is! 174
Is sex a natural function? Implications for sex therapy 187
A matter of language 194
So what is a "Boston marriage" anyway? 202
Notes on contributors 209
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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2005

    Not Boston Marriages.... disappointing

    If you're looking for literature on lesbian or nonlesbian women who choose to enter into long-term, exclusive, nonsexual relationships with women, keep looking. When I read the personal stories sections, I didn't see this at all. Instead, it seemed to cover women who ended up unintentionally in sexless relationships, even though some were content at one point or another with the situation. Also, there is too much theory about sex and the feminine role for my taste - I don't buy into any of that and only wanted to read about modern women in the 19th-century 'Boston marriage' set-up I've heard about.

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