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Boys Lie: How Not to Get Played

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Overview

Guys Can Be Dogs . . .

So consider this book the ultimate BS detector. In today's hookups without-heart society, this brutally honest guide reveals the most common lies boys tell and the truths behind them so you and your friends can separate the good guys from the bad.

'Everyone else is doing it.' 'I won't show anyone these pictures.' 'If we get pregnant, we could take care of it on our own.' Lies like these get lots of girls in trouble, especially when they cast aside their ...

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Boys Lie: How Not to Get Played

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Overview

Guys Can Be Dogs . . .

So consider this book the ultimate BS detector. In today's hookups without-heart society, this brutally honest guide reveals the most common lies boys tell and the truths behind them so you and your friends can separate the good guys from the bad.

'Everyone else is doing it.' 'I won't show anyone these pictures.' 'If we get pregnant, we could take care of it on our own.' Lies like these get lots of girls in trouble, especially when they cast aside their doubts and make poor choices in the heat of the moment. Written by psychologist Belisa Vranich and former Seventeen magazine editor Holly Eagleson, this provocative book sets the record straight with a 'cheat sheet' on what guys lie about, why they lie, and how you can respond. By learning how to react before embarrassing or volatile situations arise, you will be more confident and more likely to enjoy healthier, honest, and more fulfilling relationships.

Have You Ever Been Played?

Lie #8: I can't wear a condom.
Lie #2: Guys are built to cheat.
Lie #17: I'll love you forever.
Lie #3: You're a slut if you've had sex with lots of guys.

Yes, boys lie. But now you and your friends have the anti-get-played book.

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Editorial Reviews

VOYA - Stacey Hayman
Seventeen chapters are each given a "Lie" to explain and explore. The topics cover everything from "Lie #2: ?Guys are built to cheat'" to "Lie #9: ?That bump has always been there,'" all aimed at the inquisitive heterosexual girl. Each chapter includes a list of "Other Ways He Might Say It"; "The Truth" explains why what a boy is telling you could be considered a lie; subtopics within "The Truth" provide a wide range of information to support their stance; "What to Say to His Lies" gives a list of responses a girl can use against a boy's lies; "What to Do If You Already Bought the Lie" is meant to help with damage control; and "Q&A," with questions from teens to the authors, ends the book. What a challenge, to write openly, honestly, and without judgment about teen sexuality. These authors seem to have their hearts in the right place to meet the challenge, but their execution falls a little short. For example, switching between using the proper name for a female body part but then referring to it with a cutesy nickname in the next example, as well as the densely packed text, will intimidate most teens and might discourage browsing for particular topics. In addition, the overall approach of presenting boys as "dogs" who lie is not a pleasant tone to set. Health professionals may find this book a useful tool for discussion with older teens. Reviewer: Stacey Hayman
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780757313646
  • Publisher: Health Communications, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 7/1/2010
  • Pages: 264
  • Sales rank: 1,011,518
  • Age range: 12 - 18 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.40 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Belisa Vranich, Psy.D., is a renowned clinical psychologist, author, and public speaker who specializes in women's health issues. She is a regular guest on CNN, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox, and Inside Edition. She has been interviewed as an expert in hundreds of publications, including Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, AARP, and The New York Post. Dr. Vranich has a decade of experience in developing educational campaigns, presenting, and lecturing nationwide.

Holly Eagleson is the former features editor for Cosmopolitan and Seventeen who writes regularly for Seventeen, Glamour, CosmoGirl, Everyday With Rachael Ray, and AOL. She also authored Mirror, Mirror: Discover Your Inner Beauty, a Guide for Girls 14-17, funded by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund for Girl Scouts of America.

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Read an Excerpt

INTRODUCTION

This is a book for girls who like boys.

We should know—we're two of them! And we want to help you keep liking boys.

So before we go any further, let's make one thing clear. Don't let the title of this book confuse you: It is not a manifesto against guys. And it's not a license to man-bash or blame a problem with one boy on an entire gender at large. If you came here looking to hate, move along.

What this book is, then, is a handbook for smart girls who are ready to deal with some of the messy truths about guys and rela­tionships. If that's you, then listen up. Because we're going to get real with you—fast.

If you want to have a good relationship with guys, you need to question every word that comes out of their mouths.

Yes, it sounds harsh. But when it comes to getting what they want sexually, young men will say anything—literally anything— to make it happen. Seriously, a straight guy will profess to loving the Jonas Brothers if it helps him get in your pants.

We're not saying all guys are like this 100 percent of the time. Nor do they 'only want one thing from you,' as dads across the country have preached for generations. In fact, a lot of great guys say plenty of nice things to make girls feel genuinely pretty, sexy, worthwhile, and loved. Who can blame you for believing them or just wanting to get into their pants, too? Everyone is curious about what it's like to connect with the opposite sex, emotionally and physically. You won't see us making the mistake of assuming that you don't want sex just as much as guys do!

At the same time, there's usually a lot more at stake for girls when they do have sex. Young women are more likely to be the ones who end up brokenhearted, losing their self-respect, and even being physically or emotionally abused. It's not like guys are out to hurt girls. It's just that the inexperienced ones are often victims of their own urges. They want something—unlimited booty whenever and from whomever—and they're afraid the truth won't get it for them. Because if they admit that they might want to be with a girl just for sex, what kind of self-respecting gal would tolerate that? Eventually, boys get savvy and realize that the easi­est way to get what they 'need' is to distort the truth.

Being a smart girl, you can already spot a lot of the whoppers guys tell. You know—dumb, sexist stuff like 'Chicks are dumber than guys' or 'Bros before hos!' that they punctuate by high-fiving their buddies . . . which makes you want to high-five their faces. It's obvious that saying something so stupid, cruel, or outrageous can only be to get a rise out of you. Or because they're a few IQ points shy of human-being status.

But often, the most damaging things that guys say to gain con­trol, power, or an ego boost are way more subtle. Like lies about your bodies, how sex should feel, and what gals owe guys phys­ically and emotionally. They're also a lot harder to spot because you hear them during your most intimate moments with a boy.

They can come when one of you is feeling vulnerable (e.g., when he senses you're about to break up with him or are down on yourself) or even when you're feeling safe (e.g., when you have the upper hand in the relationship, or are cuddling up in his bed after a super fun party you both enjoyed). It's in these moments, when your guard is down and your heart is open, that you're most at risk.

So we thought it was time someone exposed why guys lie, the ways they do it, and how you can protect yourself. Through our interviews with hundreds of guys and some of the biggest rela­tionship experts in psychology and sexuality, we've put together a list of 17 of the most common lies you and your friends will hear at some point in your lives.

Guys' lies run the gamut from innocuous to dangerous, with just about everything that's inappropriate, disgusting, insulting, and generally slap-your-forehead wrong in between. Sadly, a lot of them may be familiar to you. Discovering that someone you care about told you one of these things just to get something from you or even to hurt you really sucks. But it blows even more to keep believing that lie when you're on the verge of doing some not-so­smart things with your body and heart just to get close to a guy.

This book will help you identify a lie when you hear it and fig­ure out who to trust. But in a larger way, it helps you sharpen your instincts and safeguard yourself from people who don't have your best interests at heart. Have you ever heard the phrase caveat emptor? It's Latin, and it translates roughly into 'buyer beware.' Basically, it's something that people say before you plunk down anything of value in exchange for something another person is selling. It's a caution to do your research, figure out what's moti­vating the seller, and be aware that everyone has an agenda.

©2010. Belisa Vranich, Psy.D & Holly Eagleson. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Boys Lie. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 51 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(33)

4 Star

(3)

3 Star

(5)

2 Star

(1)

1 Star

(9)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 51 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2012

    Girls are liars too

    This book expresses and describes the lies many teenage boys tells their girlfriends or FWB's at some point but me and my bestfriend are guilty too. We may be what common girls refer to as "sluts" or "hos" but in our opinion we arent. We love sex, period. Were always safe and make sure guys respect limits we set, as in we decide when and if anything goes beyond first base bevause obvi most guys dont have limits. I admit to having sex with two virgins because they were very hot and so sweet. The one agreed with me that it wasnt anything serious or long term-just a hookup were still friends and ive known him forever hes like my guy bff. The other guy is a completely different story..i told him i wanted to be with him for a really long time and that i loved him just to get laid by a hot blonde surfer boy..it worked but i broke his heary. Now i have definitely had my heartbreaks and even a mentally abusive boyfriend so some guys are just d-bags no doubt but i have broken hearts too as had my bestfriend so girls can be criminals too in the "i love you now take your pants off baby" department, all in all i found this book funny and sometimes helpful though(:

    5 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 19, 2010

    Excellent book

    I bought this for my 13 year old step daughter after she had some dealings (just over the phone/texts, thankfully!) with a boy. This book is quite frank and you may want to peruse it before giving it to your child, both to scan for content and to prepare yourself for questions that may arise!
    I would recommend this to any parent of a young lady who is navigating their teens in this day and age.

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted August 2, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Hysterically funny!

    Honestly, I don't read many self-help books. Most of the time, I think I have it all figured out, even with boys. Well, after reading this hysterically funny self-help book, Boys Lie: How Not to Get Played, I realized I don't know squat! Yes, I might be happily engaged, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be alert for the possible future lies. Belisa and Holly are a match made in writing. They both are absolutely straightforward, real and so damn entertaining. Their points introduced everything from sex, relationships and drugs. In all seriousness, this book might be written with a sarcastic undertone, but all the elements are factual and eye opening. Now, in all fairness, not all guys are jerks, they clearly state, "it is not a manifesto against guys." It's just a book on how to deal with boys who do use sorry excuse lies. I, like most girls, probably came across these lies once or twice in our lives. So, it was truly amusing to see firsthand how not to fall for the trap.

    Back in the day, I knew a lot of girls who were naive and always said, "oh that will never happen to me." If only I had this book in my possession to prove how frequently these lines were being used. In every chapter, the authors presented a lie, that indicated what the pages were going to be about. I thought the creativity behind the one liners was pure genius. I want to share a few of my favorites (if you're under sixteen, close your eyes) - "It wasn't rape-you seemed into it." / "I could be with someone hotter, but I chose you." / "If you can't have an orgasm with me, than there's something wrong with you." How humorous are those lines? I couldn't stop reading them to my fiancé! Okay I think I expressed how thrilled I was about this book. Overall, the funniest and informative self-help book for OLDER teens and even young adults ever! I don't necessarily think it's for young teens, the sexual content might be too excessive.

    3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 23, 2012

    Okay heres my advice

    Okay.. keep your viginity.your heart will be less broken. Guys and gils are both pervs. So they will talk heck on you and your body(if you had sex with him or her) get what im sayin? Hope this helps!!:)

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 18, 2012

    Reply to last post

    The boy probably has a crush on you. But if you are that young... dont go for it. Wait until you are older to get into dating and all that stuff.

    2 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 12, 2012

    Who wants sex

    If you want sex come to nore elementry

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 31, 2012

    Guys arent the only ones

    Although guys do sometimes do that to girls, girls do that sometimes to. I have done that before. Im not saying im a slut bc ive only done it twice but i hav told a guy i luv him and want to be with him than right after we had sex i never returned any of his calls or spoken to him. I agree with the guy two posts below me not every guy u see is gonna break ur heart and it can really go both ways.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2012

    To post below

    It really depends on how you feel. Thought I lovrd tyis guy. I mean we haf a wedding date and evrything! Sounds prety stupid when ur only in HS but when u could possibly be prego youd have to get upset about it.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 16, 2012

    G

    Help me: I was raped. I'm 16. If I tell, I die. So will my future baby. My parents think I'm lying. I'm bleeding concontrolably. HELLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 4, 2012

    Reply to post on the 19 of Jan u r right

    R u a bad book yes u r

    1 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 28, 2012

    Kyara

    There is this boy that constally messes with me (poking,tickling,touching my hair and trying to trip me , he said he liked me but around his friends he caleed me ugly anf now he said im cute and all of that what shuld i do

    1 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 11, 2012

    ASK HIM!!!

    Hi im a girl who has been treated badly and used by a lot of guys who all say they love me but rilly dont n say mesn stuff about me to friends n it hurts so i know how some ppl feel.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 26, 2012

    Whay

    ?

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 10, 2012

    Boys!

    Ugh i hate it how boys play u. This is the perfect book for us girls. A guy told me we were dating but it turns out it was al a joke. He broke my heart!

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 29, 2014

    Nick

    Hey dorkyfan. Sowhat do your parents do for a living?

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 30, 2014

    Going to bed

    Sweet dreams from Dorkyfan

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 23, 2014

    To Cheetah Girl

    Everyone kept ignoring me at cheetah. Do you know why?
    <p>
    <p> ~Arayofsunshine

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 30, 2014

    Gem

    Hey who is not gonna be on? The person locked outa mean girls?

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 30, 2014

    Cheetahgirl

    Yea dont date random ppl.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 30, 2014

    To all

    Im going to be without wifi connections from around 8 am on friday to 6 pm sunday (pacific time add three hours for mountain time) as well as im locked out of mean girls

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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