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Brass Ankle Blues
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Brass Ankle Blues

3.6 3
by Rachel M. Harper

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"When I was seven I told my father that I wanted to grow up to be invisible."

As a young woman of mixed race, Nellie Kincaid is about to encounter the strange, unsettling summer of her fifteenth year. Reeling from the recent separation of her parents, Nellie finds herself traveling to the family's lake house with only her father and her estranged cousin


"When I was seven I told my father that I wanted to grow up to be invisible."

As a young woman of mixed race, Nellie Kincaid is about to encounter the strange, unsettling summer of her fifteenth year. Reeling from the recent separation of her parents, Nellie finds herself traveling to the family's lake house with only her father and her estranged cousin, leaving behind the life and the mother she is trying to forget.

As the summer progresses, Nellie will have to define herself, navigating the twists and turns of first love. At the same time, her family is becoming more and more divided by the day. Does her newfound identity require her to distance herself from those she loves, or will it draw her closer?

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Rachel Harper's fierce debut is a tender, passionate, and moving read. A clear window onto a world rarely seen in contemporary fiction."
— Shay Youngblood, author of Soul Kiss

"A mature, intelligent, eloquent, lyrical, insightful work. All the elements of fine writing."
— Gayl Jones, author of The Healing and Corregidora

"Brass Ankle Blues is a beautiful debut...full of humanity and elusive shocks of recognition. It gracefully explores the fissures and possibilities that all young selves experience. This is a marvelous novel."
The Providence Journal

Publishers Weekly
Harper's thoughtful but heavy-handed coming-of-age debut tracks the summer of Nellie Kincaid's 15th year. Like many teenagers, Nellie is sullen and curious, contemptuous of her mother and adoring of her father, swept up in the throes of first love and making bids for independence. As the daughter of a white mother and black father, however, most of her angst revolves around her mixed heritage. Devastated by the recent separation of her parents, she embarks on a journey to her family's lake house with her father, Malcolm, a quiet, cerebral English professor, and her white cousin Jess, a chain-smoking, free-spirited, kleptomaniac 16-year-old girl. On a road trip of misadventures that spans Boston, St. Croix, and Minnesota, Nellie discovers that she and Jess have more in common than she'd like to admit, and that family can offer solace from uncertainty. Despite its impassioned identity politics, the novel lacks revelatory punch, as with Nellie's final insight: "The family, the cabin, the lake: they are all old and new at the same time, just like I am. Foreign and familiar/ Urban and rural/ Black and white/ Here and there/ Everywhere-even in you." (Feb.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
Plodding coming-of-age debut starring 15-year-old Nellie Kincaid, who has just learned that her parents, Malcolm and Virginia, are separating. The Kincaids normally spend their summers at the family compound in rural Minnesota, but this year things are different. And it's not just the impending separation; for the first time, Nellie's two older brothers and her mother won't be spending the season at the lake. This summer finds Nellie traveling with her father (an English professor) and her estranged cousin, Jess, toward the cottage. The trip has barely begun, however, when the family Volvo bursts into flames. Nellie and Jess opt to take Greyhound the rest of the way, but at a rest stop, they miss the bus's departure and are forced to hitchhike. The girls have a few close encounters with potential perverts, but finally hitch a ride with handsome 19-year-old Dallas. Smitten with Nellie, Dallas takes a summer construction job with a local contractor; over the coming weeks, Nellie realizes she's attracted to both Dallas and her summer neighbor, Luke. As a young woman of mixed race, Nellie has always felt a bit of an outsider-something that Luke can't really understand, but Dallas, who is Sioux, can. As the summer progresses, we learn slightly more about the rift between Nellie's parents and the reason for their separation (Virginia's multiple affairs), and Nellie finds out more about her mother's adolescence-knowledge that brings her misery, not peace. Harper's prose can be clunky: " ‘Confront' is so similar to ‘comfort.' This is what runs through my head when I go in search of my mother," and her plotting is a bit heavy-handed, with fire both opening and closing the story. Uninspired.

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5.40(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.70(d)

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Chapter One

We are finally leaving Virginia. The sign that tells me this is small and has a picture of a hand waving. Strange, I think, I left Virginia about six hundred miles ago. I left her standing in the driveway of a two-story house I might never see again. Virginia is my mother, a woman I've never associated with this backward state until now. Thank god we aren't moving here. I wouldn't want to see my mother's name on the back of every car and at the bottom of every letter. Virginia. I don't think I'll ever come back.

West Virginia is not much better, but it's a smaller state, one we can cross in a few hours. At this rate we should make it to Cleveland by dinnertime. Tomorrow we'll drive through all those I states — Indiana, Illinois, and Iowa — and finally make it up to Minnesota by Friday. That is the plan. My father always has one, and unlike most people, he follows it. We've been doing this ride every summer for my entire life: Boston to St. Croix, fifteen hundred miles in three days. This summer is the first time we've altered the route, dropping down to Virginia to pick up my cousin. That added an extra five hundred miles on to the trip, but it won't slow us down. He'll make up for it after Cleveland, skimming through the Midwest like a book he's trying to finish. My father likes to drive, likes to sit behind the wheel. Even if my mother were here she wouldn't be driving. She drives too slow and stops at too many rest areas. My father likes to move fast, even when he isn't in a rush. I guess he's not comfortable with where he is; he's always focused on where he's going.

My cousin is not a good traveler. It's been two hours since the last stop and already she's begging to use the bathroom. I don't believe her. She lies the way some people clear their throat. If we were alone my father would tell me to hold it, but he's being nice to her because she doesn't have a father, and has grown up thinking that all vegetables have to be defrosted before you can eat them. Well, she has a father — my mother's brother Renny — but she knows him about as well as she knows us. (Three hours in the car, so far, and my grandfather's funeral when we were five.) Barely more than strangers.

When we get inside the gas station's bathroom she doesn't even go into a stall. Instead, she stands in front of the mirror and watches her reflection pull a cigarette out of her bra. I close my door on her face, a mischievous smile, and smell the smoke before it's even locked.

"Goddamn, that's good," Jess says slowly.

"You act like it's food or something."

"Nah, it's better than food." She pauses. "Except grits. Grits and smothered biscuits. Nothing's better than that."

Jess is from the South, the only one of my cousins, on either side, born below the Mason-Dixon Line. This isn't the only thing that separates us, but maybe it's the most important. So far, I pretty much hate the South. (Except for the food since I love anything fried.) I tried to have an open mind, but by the time we picked Jess up in Roanoke it was locked shut. And I'm not just talking about the rednecks. The black people bother me, too. Everybody stares too much, and they ask more questions than an English teacher. The accent also pisses me off; they talk all slow like you came all the way here just to listen to them. So far my favorite places have been the bathrooms. Cool and quiet like church. Even the old ladies leave you alone in here. Not Jess, though, she acts like the bathroom is her confessional, and she has to share everything that comes into her mind. Sometimes I think she's afraid of silence, maybe because she's an only child. Not me. When you grow up with older brothers you start to love solitude.

When I come out of the stall, she's sitting on the counter between the two sinks. She's so skinny that her ass isn't touching either sink. I haven't done that since I was six. I wash my hands in the cold water, using lots of pink powdered soap. It turns into a paste like one of my mother's facial scrubs, the kind with the grit that will take off a layer of skin. I'm afraid if I rub too hard it will wash away all my color.

"I'm gonna miss Virginia," Jess says. "I've never been gone so long."

"It's been three hours."

"No, I mean the whole summer." She taps her cigarette against the sink. When the ashes touch the water it looks like wet sand. I once read about a black-sand beach in Hawaii. I will swim there one day and remember this moment.

"Virginia summers are the best. They're sunny and real hot, and everyone just hangs out on their porches. The Virginia Players come for the Fourth of July, and then the Virginia music — "

"Will you stop saying that?" I stare at the back of her head in the mirror. The ends are streaked blonde in a way that looks like she dyes it, but I know she doesn't. That would be too much work.

"What?" She looks at me, all innocent.

"How would you like it if I lived in a state called Shelley? If I was born in Shelley, went to school in Shelley, and just loved being from Shelley?"

Jess laughs, exhaling smoke. "My mother would never have a state named after her. She's way too crooked."

"Mine's no citizen of the year either." I dry my hands with a coarse paper towel. Jess puts her cigarette out in the sink and hops down.

"Did yours steal clothes from the Salvation Army Dumpsters? Did she pretend to be crazy to get into some study at the hospital? Did she borrow your neighbor's car to go to Atlantic City and end up gambling it away? Did she get kicked off welfare for pretending she had another kid?"

To my knowledge, my mother has only broken one law.

"No," I say.

"Trust me, the criminals are on my side of the family."

I know she includes herself on that list, probably at the top. Right before we picked her up my father told me she got expelled from her high school for trying to bribe a teacher. I decide not to mention it.

"Aren't you going to pee?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Nah, I'll wait till the next stop." She holds the door open for me. "After you," she says. Such Southern hospitality.

As we walk out she smells her T-shirt, checking for smoke. My father has a rule about sixteen-year-olds smoking, even if they're not his own. I stop at the counter to buy a pack of gum. Jess stands next to me, thumbing through the latest issue of Teen Beat, the one with Matt Dillon on the cover. When the cashier turns his back she tucks the magazine down the front of her cutoffs. The first of many laws she will break this summer.

I am reading Toni Morrison's Beloved from my school's summer reading list. When we cross into Ohio I am with Sethe and we are both running. I look down from the bridge as we drive over the Ohio River. All I can see are the waves of blue sky reflected in the water, thick white clouds breaking in the distance. How many people died in that river, drowning softly in the clouds and sky? I don't think I would have made it as a slave, even with the benefits of being a "house nigger." There are few lives I could imagine living other than my own.

I was five the first time I realized I was black. After watching Roots my brothers and I began to fantasize about slavery. Marcus, always defiant, claimed he would have run off just like Kunta Kinte.

"I wouldn't let anybody own me," he said with the unflinching confidence that only a ten-year-old can muster.

"I don't know..." Noah spoke slowly. "I don't think I'd want to be one of the black people." He was almost eight.

"You mean you'd pretend to be white?" Marcus looked shocked.

"But I am white." Noah held out his arm. In all fairness, he was a bit lighter than us.

"No." Marcus shook his head. "Mom's white. We're black, like Dad."

"But Dad's brown," Noah said. "Uncle Bobby's black."

"Aren't we both?" I asked.

"Yeah, but all that really means is we're black."

"I don't know if I want to be black." Noah was scratching a scab on his knee.

"You don't have a choice," Marcus said. "None of us do."

We were all quiet for a minute, sitting in a circle on the hardwood floors. I tried to focus on the planks of wood, sanded and stained a golden brown, not much lighter than the color of my skin.

"Reggie Jackson's black," I finally said.

The Yankees had just won the World Series. We'd spent the week marching around the block, celebrating each win like we lived in the Bronx instead of two miles from Fenway Park. We'd even taped the newspaper clippings to our walls, we were so proud.

"I love Reggie," Noah said. "He looks like Dad if he lost some weight."

We all laughed. Even my mother thought they looked alike. She'd called him Reggie all day when he took us to the park to play softball.

"He looks like us," Marcus said, so sure of himself that I had to believe him.

We didn't talk about race again.

"This magazine sucks," Jess says from the backseat. "No good pictures." She tosses the stolen Teen Beat into my lap. "You want it?"

"I've got a book," I say, letting the magazine fall to the floor.

"I don't like books."

"Oh really?" My father glances in the rearview mirror. He's an English professor, and he loves books almost more than he loves his children. I smile to myself, wondering how she'll get out of this.

"I don't like made-up stories. They're all a bunch of B.S. Give me something real, with pictures."

"I've got a New Yorker you can look at," my father says. "Lots of cartoons." He reaches up to adjust the mirror. I don't know if he included her in his view or cut her out.

"No thanks," Jess says.

I watch her in the side mirror as she puts her window all the way down. The wind pushes her hair back, completely off her face, and she closes her eyes. Suddenly, she looks like a Christiansen. Not like Renny, exactly, but like my grandfather and my aunt. Maybe my mother.

I lift my gaze to stare at the view out my window. The fields of grass and uncut wheat seem endless. I wonder if this is what it looked like a hundred years ago to the people migrating north. Is this what Sethe saw when she stumbled through the woods in bare feet with nothing but a torn dress and her pregnant belly? I wish I could stand at one end of America and look all the way across to the other side. I want to experience something that vast, to lose myself in the miles in between. I want to feel as small and insignificant as I am.

Copyright © 2006 by Rachel M. Harper

Meet the Author

Rachel M. Harper, a graduate of Brown University, has been published in Chicago Review, African American Review, and the anthology Mending the World: Stories of Family by Contemporary Black Writers. She lives in California.

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Brass Ankle Blues 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
I was a little iffy about this book when I first got it, but I'm so glad I read it. As someone who grew up also as a mixed race, the author did an amazing job and capturing the struggle with trying to find out who you are. Great book!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Praise to you....Rachel Harper....this is your beginning. Through your words of quiet strength, a dignified crescendo awaits. To experience such palpable growth from one enjoyable book, seems a contradiction. I have discovered often, that difficult reading is what is necessary for growth. Not with Ms. Harpers'. She has the story and the talent to deliver.