Brat Stops Here!: 5 Weeks (or Less) to No More Tantrums, Arguing, or Bad Behavior

Overview

In her private practice, Mary-Elaine Jacobsen worked with thousands of parents to help them with their defiant, obnoxious, and challenging children. By following her program parents have seen their children's arguing, tantrums, and disobedience come to an end.

In THE BRAT STOPS HERE, Dr. Jacobsen comprehensively outlines her program for giving parents the essential tools they need to set limits and expectations and follow through with their kids when they cross the line. The key...

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The Brat Stops Here!: 5 Weeks (or Less) to No More Tantrums, Arguing, or Bad Behavior

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Overview

In her private practice, Mary-Elaine Jacobsen worked with thousands of parents to help them with their defiant, obnoxious, and challenging children. By following her program parents have seen their children's arguing, tantrums, and disobedience come to an end.

In THE BRAT STOPS HERE, Dr. Jacobsen comprehensively outlines her program for giving parents the essential tools they need to set limits and expectations and follow through with their kids when they cross the line. The key to Dr. Jacobsen's program is the Privileges On/Privileges Off approach. When a child does not comply with the rules of the house (which are carefully explained to the child in an age appropriate manner), he or she loses all privileges and must earn them back by apologizing, acknowledging what they would do differently, doing what was asked of them in the first place, and performing an additional chore. Following this approach consistently over the course of five weeks will have a dramatic effect on the household—including reducing tension in the interaction between parents and children, developing skills that will help children get along better at home and at school, and laying the foundation for children to become self-sufficient, responsible adults.

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Editorial Reviews

Library Journal
These books deal with a common child-rearing issue: bad behavior. In The Brat Stops Here, Jacobsen (chief psychologist, Amherst Wilder Fdn.) shares her direct, no-excuses approach to solving behavioral issues among six- to 12-year-olds. Misbehavior, she believes, arises from "a mix of the child's difficult temperament and misguided parenting methods." To fix it, parents need a personalized plan steeped in professional research. Jacobsen serves up just that with real-world examples and step-by-step instructions. In Drawing the Line, child psychologists Weiss and Wagner take a similar approach to Jacobsen's in targeting specific behaviors. Yet they go into a lot more detail on how to go about making changes, endorsing, for instance, a rather controversial method that encourages parents to engineer conflict with their children at a specific time and place. Both books discuss different parenting styles and which is most effective; both discuss rewards, ignoring, and penalties as well as consider the most effective form of penalty, the time out. There is a simplicity to Jacobsen's approach, which almost seems too good to be true. However, it empowers a parent at least to give it a try. Weiss and Wagner, on the other hand, seem to have the answers to just about any problem, but readers must take the time to sit down and internalize their suggestions. Public libraries can safely purchase either book.-Kari Ramstrom, MLIS, Plymouth, MN Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780312342791
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 1/24/2006
  • Edition description: First Edition
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 1,054,509
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.50 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Dr. Mary-Elaine Jacobsen is the former Chief Psychologist for the Amherst Wilder Foundation, a highly-regarded organization with programs for behavior-disordered children, therapeutic foster care, home and school counseling, and child psychiatry. A recognized leader in child guidance and developmental psychology, Dr. Jacobsen is the author of The Gifted Adult and she has been published in, and interviewed for, many professional journals and periodicals. She is Assistant Professor of Psychology at Salem College in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix
Introduction: Real-Life Horror Stories for Parents 1
Part I Week 1: Understanding Temperament and Bad Behavior
1 What's Wrong? Why Won't My Child Behave? 13
2 Jack the Brat and Jill the Pill in Real Life 25
Part II Week 2: How Children Manipulate Situations and Dodge Responsibility
3 The Coercion Trap: How Parents Get Lured into Arguing, Justifying, Negotiating, Nagging, Bribing, Threatening, Exploding, and Giving In 51
Part III Week 3: Good Behavior Required Here
4 What You Can and Should Expect from Your Child 73
5 Set Your Expectations and Select Your Target Behaviors 85
Part IV Week 4: The Dr. J Way: Privileges "On"/Privileges "Off"
6 Privileges vs. Inalienable Rights 97
7 How to Apply the Dr. J Way Step-by-Step and Avoid Five Common Parenting Mistakes 104
Part V Week 5: Argue No More! Setting the Plan in Motion
8 Presenting the Plan to Your Child 121
9 Selective Attention and Reinforcement 132
10 Consistency Is Key: Don't Get Creative 152
11 Troubleshooting 163
Appendix A Tips for Managing Difficult-Temperament Types 181
Appendix B Four Steps to Get Out of Time-out and Earn Back Privileges 187
Appendix C Sample Behavior Plan 189
Resources 193
Index 197
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