Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back. The Moment that Changes Everything [NOOK Book]

Overview

Well, I guess he does have a good side.”... “You know, it’s probably my own fault.” ... “I need to cut him some slack, because he’s had a rough life.” It’s easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive relationships – caving in to a spouse’s addictions and consequent abuses, ignoring a live-at-home son’s inconsiderate behavior, or putting up with a supervisor’s manipulation or even harassment. We excuse them again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting respectful boundaries. Break Through has a ...
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Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back. The Moment that Changes Everything

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Overview

Well, I guess he does have a good side.”... “You know, it’s probably my own fault.” ... “I need to cut him some slack, because he’s had a rough life.” It’s easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive relationships – caving in to a spouse’s addictions and consequent abuses, ignoring a live-at-home son’s inconsiderate behavior, or putting up with a supervisor’s manipulation or even harassment. We excuse them again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting respectful boundaries. Break Through has a self-test to help readers get back in control and is filled with useful tools to help them make big changes in their life. This important book will show readers when to give in, but also when to push back for a happier, more stable life.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781617950957
  • Publisher: Worthy Publishing
  • Publication date: 5/1/2012
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 288
  • Sales rank: 171,374
  • File size: 2 MB

Meet the Author

Dr. Tim Clinton, LPC, is founder and president of the nearly 50,000-member American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) and Light University Online, which has over 160,000 students enrolled. Pat Springle was an executive with Rapha Treatment Centers and is co-author of the classic work, Codependency.
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Read an Excerpt

Break Through

When to Give In, How to Push Back


By Tim Clinton, Pat Springle

WORTHY PUBLISHING

Copyright © 2012 Tim Clinton and Pat Springle
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-61795-095-7



CHAPTER 1

IN THE NAME OF LOVE

Like thunder needs rain Like the preacher needs pain ... I need your love

—"Hawkmoon 269" by U2


• Sarah and Matt have been dating for about five years. "We've had some really good moments," she sighs. "But right now, I'm just not feeling it. More than anything, I want to know that he loves me. I want to feel safe with him ... to be happily married someday.

"Of course, we've been together long enough that I've seen some patterns I don't like. Matt gets upset easily. Sometimes, he'll yell and scream at me for no reason at all. And his work is so demanding that he sometimes completely tunes me out ... for weeks at a time. He's also stayed close with some old girlfriends, but he promises me that it's not a big deal.

"These things used to bother me, but I've learned that's just how Matt is. Most people can't see it, but he really is a good person. My parents and close friends keep telling me to break up with him, but they just don't understand him. The truth is, I'd rather be with Matt than be alone. And, besides, he needs me."


• Janelle, a frustrated mom, tries to explain herself. "You just don't understand," she insists. "The reason I haven't told my husband about Tommy's drug use and gambling is because I love him so much. I know Tommy has blown a lot of money—my money, our money. But I worry that if my husband found out how bad it really is, he'd kick Tommy out of the house. That's why I've lied to him repeatedly about Tommy ... How could I not? Tommy's my son.

"Tommy's biological father was killed when he was very young, and the poor kid has had such a hard life. Then he got involved with the wrong crowd. This week he was arrested for dealing cocaine, but I think I found an attorney who can get the charge dismissed. It will drain our savings, but I'll do anything to help him get through this.

"Sure, Tommy is twenty-four, but I really believe he will grow out of this stage. He's just in a rough place right now. He doesn't have a job, so he desperately needs me. I'll do anything to help him. I couldn't possibly turn my back on my own flesh and blood!"

Counselors and frustrated friends hear variations of these stories all the time. And some of them may be your own! Like Sarah and Janelle, most of us desperately want to help the people we love, but some relationships suck us in like quicksand—and before we know it, we're stuck ... emotionally, financially, and perhaps even physically. If we express true love by saying "no more," we could unleash a horrible nightmare. If we draw a line in the sand and put boundaries in place, we can't control the outcome. The fear of the "what ifs" can overwhelm and paralyze us.

What kinds of craziness have you put up with or made excuses for ... all in the name of "love"? Check all that apply to you. (It's okay, don't be shy—Pat and I [Tim] have been there too!)

[] Keeping secrets

[] Tolerating abuse

[] Closing your eyes to irresponsible behavior

[] Sacrificing to cover up someone else's mistakes

[] Catering to a lazy person's whims

[] Caving in to an angry person's demands

[] Making excuses

[] Justifying bad behavior

[] Accepting the blame for something we never did

[] Enabling an addiction

[] Lying to yourself or others


In the name of love, we bail out people who won't help themselves. Each time we insist, "This is the last time!" But it never is.

In the name of love, we endure name-calling, the silent treatment, temper tantrums, even violence. We try to assure ourselves, "Deep down he's a good person with a kind heart ... he'll change." But he never really does.

In the name of love, we cower in the face of an angry person's demands and settle for whatever peace we can get. Which isn't much.

Why? What keeps us there? A misunderstanding of love.

What the world calls "love" often isn't true love at all. If our version of love is destroying us or someone we care about, then let's not call it love. There are lots of other names for it, but it's not love.

If that's you, if you or someone you know has been mistaking counterfeit love for the real thing, then you need a breakthrough—a flash of insight and a dose of courage to take action and change the status quo. And that's what this book will give you.

Change doesn't happen quickly or easily, but stick with us. Step by step, you can learn—and live—authentic love, wise trust, genuine forgiveness, and real freedom.


Snapshots of Crazy Love

While most of our relationships may be healthy and satisfying, we typically have one or two people who change the rules and get to us—a sibling, a spouse, son or daughter, coworker, boss, or close friend. These strained relationships drive us crazy, yet we seem to be helpless to exercise true love and move toward a more healthy relationship. Perhaps you will see a snapshot of yourself or a loved one in one of these examples:


• Bethany's husband, Rick, began acting a bit strangely a few years ago. Their sexual relationship became more intense, but less regular. She couldn't figure it out, and he didn't want to talk about it. One morning, Bethany opened Rick's computer and found a dozen porn sites he had viewed the night before. When she checked the history, she realized what he'd been doing all those nights he claimed to be "working late" before he came to bed. Rick got busted for visiting porn sites at work too.

Bethany and Rick's marriage was on the rocks. I've been such a fool! Bethany thought. I should have known something like this was happening!

She confronted Rick, but he insisted it was "no big deal" and "all the guys do it." When she didn't agree, he turned the tables, blaming her for not being sexually attractive enough.

He's right, Bethany reflected. I have gained weight. If only I were as beautiful as I was on our wedding day. But I still do everything I can to please him sexually.

Bethany had countless conversations with her closest friends to try to sort out her thoughts. But no matter what they said, Bethany insisted, "I know Rick loves me. It's my fault that we aren't where we should be. Yes, I know pornography is wrong, but it's what men do."


• Jackson and Susan were conscientious, attentive parents. They went to all of their son Bill's ball games and gave him plenty of guidance to stay out of trouble. When Bill went off to college, he made good grades, but he also made friends with a wild group of kids who partied every weekend.

A few years after Bill graduated from his master's program, they discovered he had been addicted to hydrocodone and Xanax since his junior year. "I knew he drank a lot," Jackson lamented to a counselor, "but I had no idea he was on drugs."

Bill had racked up huge debts, so Jackson and Susan brought him home to live with them. For two long years, they pleaded and threatened to get him to give up drugs. They did so much for him, but nothing worked. Several times, when Bill was really strung out, Jackson even called Bill's employer to tell him Bill was sick.

"I know it's wrong," Jackson defended himself when a friend questioned his actions, "but I can't let Bill lose his job. He would lose his health insurance and ruin his credit. It would devastate him, and I love him too much to let that happen to him. I just wish he would turn his life around."


• From the time her dad walked out the door, Rachel lived with her mother. But her mom was so emotionally distraught and overworked that she didn't have much left to help Rachel and her brother grow up. Rachel felt emotionally abandoned by both of her parents, and she grew to hate her mom. Dad abandoned me once, she thought to herself. But mom abandons me every day.

When Rachel got married and had a daughter of her own, she was determined to protect her from the pain she had endured. She smothered her daughter with attention—which was kind of cute when she was three, but a problem when she was fifteen. Rachel was consumed by wanting to know every detail of her daughter's life. She read all the postings on her daughter's Facebook page daily. After her daughter went to bed at night, Rachel looked through her schoolbooks to find notes her friends had sent her.

When Rachel told a friend what she was doing, the friend was alarmed. "You'll ruin your relationship with your daughter," the friend warned.

"To protect her, I have to know what's going on in her life," Rachel insisted. "I check my daughter's text messages, read her diary, and try to listen to every conversation she has on the phone. I've got to tell you, the things I've found out make my hair stand on end! She's in big trouble! I don't want her to make the same mistakes I made. I love her too much to let that happen!"


• On their first date, Kim and Jasper fell madly in love. They shared a common commitment to Jesus and enjoyed being together. Kim admired Jasper's strength and confidence. When they married the following year, everyone said it was a match made in heaven.

Soon after the honeymoon, however, Jasper began questioning the way Kim spent money. It wasn't that she was irresponsible—quite the opposite. She tried to explain that he could trust her, but that just made him angry and more demanding. He gave her mixed messages of tender affection and intense questions—probing accusations that were more like the cross-examination of an attorney than the inquiries of a loving spouse.

Kim realized that she had married a total control freak who treated her like a child. Jasper dominated her every moment and every action: How she folded the laundry, washed the dishes, and prepared the meals. Who she talked to on the phone. How she dressed and where she shopped. Even how much toilet paper she used! Seriously! He was breaking her down fast.

She began withdrawing emotionally and physically but felt guilty for not wanting to have sex with Jasper. He quoted a passage in 1 Corinthians about the wife's body belonging to her husband, but his use of Scripture didn't do a lot to promote feelings of intimacy. She felt dominated, falsely accused, and hopelessly trapped because no one outside their home had any idea what was going on. Most of her friends still thought it was a match made in heaven.


• From the time he was a little boy, James heard his dad—a pastor and highly respected man in the community—tell him, "People are watching you all the time because you're my son. Make me proud, and make Jesus proud." But when he was in junior high, it seemed to James that his dad was more interested in his own reputation than how James' behavior reflected on Jesus.

Every night at dinner, his dad recited a litany of expectations: "I want the best for you, son. I want you to excel for the glory of God." But his dad's reaction to his failures told a different story. His dad employed the heavy guns of guilt and harsh condemnation instead of the gentle assurance of loving correction. The slightest infraction was severely punished, and even his friends' mistakes were viciously condemned. If James ever tried to protest, his dad became angry and violent: "Shut up, son. Shut up and do as you're told. One day you'll thank me for tough love."

At the end of each diatribe, his dad always said, "It's about doing God's work and being God's man." James wanted to live for God—he just felt so confused. His dad said he loved him, but then he lashed out in anger whenever James made a mistake. Is God the same way? he wondered.

James felt paralyzed to confront his dad about how much he was hurt. Any back talk was met with angry criticism. Over time, James grew to hate his dad, and eventually, God as well. The young man drifted into a deep depression, which greatly displeased his father, who continued to heap on the legalistic expectations. James felt trapped by his dominating dad and a seemingly disengaged and disinterested God.


Counterfeit Love

Truth be told, these snapshots don't just illustrate what crazy love looks like, they demonstrate counterfeit love. And though it may be easy for us to see its devastating impact in these stories, it's not so easy to see the truth when the story is our story.

When it comes to our most cherished relationships, we want to believe that the people we value really love us. We want to believe that we matter to them. That's just a part of our relational DNA. Most of the people we're close to—even the ones who are not loving us properly—do care about us in some fashion, but at the same time, they may care even more about themselves. Or they may simply not know how to love.

Regardless of the choices they make, you can learn the secrets to loving well. You can learn to recognize and receive real love when it comes your way—and push back when it doesn't. You can learn to really love the people in your life—and know when and how to help them. And that's what this book is for.


One-Up, One-Down

Difficult people distort our perceptions about love with:

• their pleas and demands ("If you really love me, you'll ______.")

• their threats ("If you don't______, I'll leave you!")

• their spiritual accusations ("You call yourself a Christian?")


For Christians, our response is often complicated by sermons that emphasize:

• "Turn the other cheek."

• "Sacrifice like Jesus, who gave to the point of death."

• "Don't be selfish."

• "Honor and obey your parents."

• "Give, expecting nothing in return."

• "Don't let the sun go down on your anger."


While each of these statements is biblical, counterfeit love takes them out of context and so twists them around that they become nooses around our necks instead of guidelines to live by.

It's no wonder we often turn a blind eye to the truth that others plainly see!

Often, our misunderstandings about love are born in disruptive family relationships, where someone was either one-up or one-down to an extreme. There is an appropriate and necessary difference in the balance of power between parents and young children, but in the best situations, there should be no power struggles by the time those children have become adults—just deep connection, trust, and respect between people who sincerely care about each other.

In disruptive families, children are taught to remain one-up or one-down into adulthood. And this produces immature adults who either seek to dominate others (one-up) or who allow themselves to be dominated (one-down) in their relationships—one powerful and one needy, one enabling and one addicted, one decisive and one confused.

In relationships with these people, manipulation abounds. Especially when they start to feel out of control.

At the first hint of any threat to their security, dominant people will look to control others. Sometimes this expresses itself as you'd expect: pushiness, demands, insensitivity, and selfishness. But there are also dominant people who come disguised as helpers. They will naturally gravitate toward needy people—especially those who are most out of control—so they can "rescue" yet another soul, which makes them feel even more powerful.

For those in the one-down position, they'll either drift toward isolation when under pressure—avoiding relationships to protect themselves—or they'll lose themselves in someone else (enmeshment), letting that individual define their purpose, values, and desires.

People who tend to isolate don't feel safe, so their solution is to avoid meaningful interaction at all costs. To them, meaningful connection is a threat, because they define love as "no demands and no risks." Instead of experiencing a healthy connectedness with others, isolaters bounce off people like billiard balls. And usually everyone gets hurt, including the isolated one.

For those who are prone to enmeshment, they have almost no sense of identity apart from another person—and so, when someone "threatens" their overattachment with the desire for a healthy, interdependent relationship, they latch on all the more. Instead of being a distinct individual who shares ideas, love, and life with another distinct individual, the cling-on will opt for one messy entity—like two blobs of mud stuck together.

The term enmeshment was first popularized by Salvador Minuchin, who described it as "an extreme form of proximity and intensity in family interactions." This uber-closeness produces weak boundaries and an inability to function as individuals, apart from the family. However, you can be enmeshed, or entangled, with anyone. It's not just for families!

Enmeshment creates codependent relationships—a dance, if you will—between two people that is "characterized by preoccupation with and extreme dependence (emotionally, socially, and sometimes physically) on a person or object." Given enough time, this dependence on another person can become so rooted in our lives that it affects all other relationships.


Why Do We Keep Dancing?

Entangled relationships come in all shapes and sizes, but inevitably, one person takes the lead and dominates from a position of strength and authority, and the other complies from weakness and need in a toxic sort of tango. The weaker person constantly checks himself to see if his thoughts, attitude, and behavior will please (or at least avoid the wrath of) the dominant one, while the stronger person decides and dictates the life of the weaker one.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Break Through by Tim Clinton, Pat Springle. Copyright © 2012 Tim Clinton and Pat Springle. Excerpted by permission of WORTHY PUBLISHING.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgments,
Introduction: A New Day for Your Relationships,
1. In the Name of Love,
2. Break Through to True Love,
3. Where's the Payoff?,
4. Answer the Wake-up Call,
5. Dismantling Our Idols,
6. A New Affection,
7. Reflections of Truth and Love,
8. Learning to Love Well,
9. Gaining a Secure Identity,
10. Learning to Trust Wisely,
11. Balancing Our Responsibilities,
12. Speaking the Hard Truth,
13. Square Off Against Evil,
14. When the Way Ahead Is Difficult,
15. The View from Tomorrow,
Appendix: Break Through to Great Parenting,
How To Use This Book in Groups and Classes,

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 10 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 10 Customer Reviews
  • Posted August 13, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    God can help you with your relationships...

    Description:

    Break Through is a Christian-based guide to healthy relationships and relationship maintenance that discusses the dynamics between husband and wife, parent and child, friend and friend, man and God, and all things in-between. "[All] the expert advise you need for knowing when to give in and how to push back for the best life you can have with the people you love most." (Back Cover Quote)

    Review:

    I tend to enjoy Christian Literature with a Biblical basis, so I was very pleased to receive a copy of Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back, a relationship guide full of scripture. Everyone has the occasional relationship snag, whether it's between couples, family, friends, or even God, but what is important enough to fight for versus ignore? Is it really worth it to put strain on your relationship just to be right, or to prove someone wrong? It is not okay to allow yourself to be treated in a way that you are not satisfied with; which is why I recommend Tim Clinton and Pat Springle's well-researched and Bible-based book of relationship advice. Break Through not only confronts relationship problems head on, (arguing, manipulation, distrust, excuses, etc...), but offers real-life examples of how to work through your problems with the help of God. I was impressed by the amount, and value of, the material presented. The format was easy-to-read, down-to-earth, and had an overall tone of honesty that really resonated with me. Their message to readers in any kind of relationship is one of inspiration - things can, and will, change for the better if you work on them. I enjoyed the self-evaluation quizzes as well, they really cemented the ideas from the chapter into my mind. The only aspect that I had problems with was the repetitive nature of the text after the chapter on "Learning to Love Well". I recommend this book to anyone who is having problems in their relationship and feels like they are making excuses for the other person’s actions; anyone can benefit from reading this book!

    Rating: On the Run (4/5)

    *** I received this book from the author (Worthy Publishing) in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 25, 2012

    Insightful!

    Break Through is insightful and helpful book written for anyone who struggles with co-dependency. This book reminded me of another book I read and have recommended to many people, Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

    However, Break Through goes deeper into defining what loving well looks like in relationships. Many of us believe we are loving others when we really aren't. We think we are being helpful, when we're actually not.

    This book helps expose the true dynamics in relationships. Whether the relationship is with a spouse, parent, friend or co-worker.

    I loved this entire book, but my favorite chapter is five: "Dismantling Our Idols". This chapter really opened my eyes to the function of idolatry in relationships. I was surprised by what I learned.

    Dr. Tim Clinton mentions the role in which parents play into these unhealthy dynamics. Parents frame how we relate to others. We mirror their example, whether it is functional or dysfunctional.

    I found this book especially helpful because I'm a parent. I don't want to pass along any of these learned behaviors, dysfunctional patterns or toxic functioning on to my children. Break Through gives good examples and teaches you how not to do that.

    Dr. Tim Clinton writes with sensitivity and compassion. He is not preachy nor does he condemn. He demonstrates grace to his readers and encourages that breaking free is attainable.

    If we do the work, we are guaranteed a break through.

    I highly recommend this life changing book. I believe everyone can benefit from it, I know I did.

    In conclusion, I want to thank Worthy Publishers and Handlebar Marketing for sending me a complimentary copy of this book to review.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 20, 2012

    "By the time you’re finished with this book…yo

    "By the time you’re finished with this book…you’ll not only recognize love for all that it is, but break through the fog of your relationships into the light of an amazing new day for you and for those you love the most."

    Thus ends the introduction to Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle’s new book, Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back. A lofty promise indeed, but one upon which Clinton and Springle deliver.

    In the book, the authors give insight into unhealthy relationships, such as codependency and abusive relationships. Why does a wife make excuses for an alcoholic husband? Why does a father continue to bail out a deadbeat daughter? The answer may surprise you.

    Using biblical insight and real-life examples, Clinton and Springle offer clear explanations for the real causes of unhealthy relationships and a clear path to forming healthy relationships. Each of the easily digestible chapters ends with a series of questions designed to make us think about our own relationships. The book also includes a guide for groups and classes who are looking to make the most of the book’s teaching.

    To say that I found this book enlightening would be an understatement. It has caused me to think about my own relationships – both healthy and unhealthy – and to start to address the areas of concern. I found the writing to be very easy to read, the print perfect for my lately very tired eyes, and on top of that I love the feel of the book jacket – very soft and nice to hold.

    Whether you recognize unhealthy relationships in your life or not, I highly recommend this book. You and your relationships will be changed for the better by reading it.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Handlebar Marketing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 16, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    You can Break Through to a New Healthy Relationship and Heal you

    You can Break Through to a New Healthy Relationship and Heal your Soul
    BREAK THOUGH
    When to Give In, How to Push Back
    by Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle
    Worthy Publishing

    Often our relationships are controlled by our misconceptions of what love is. We dominate or cower in the name of love, but the very nature of this love is destructive and unhealthy. When we allow ourselves to be enmeshed we rob ourselves and the object of our devotion of a healthy relationship and the joy and happiness that true love brings. This unhealthy dependency usually masks feelings of resentment, anger and eventually hate.

    But we can break through this destructive pattern and discovery what a healthy relationship is. We need to realize our true worth – that God wants more for us than to be trapped in an abusive relationship. We need to learn to step back and see where we are heading. Until we can see clearly the path of destruction we are on we cannot heal.

    We cannot fix other people, they have to face the consequences of their own actions. We cannot take on their consequences and expect them to ever be responsible. Nor should we expect someone to always be there to get us out of every little situation we find our self in. Throughout the world there are emotional twelve year-olds walking around in adult bodies seeking and craving attention, affection, and affirmation from irresponsible and untrustworthy people.

    When our relationships aren't what we expect them to be we feel broken and empty, so we attempt to fill the hole in our life with unhealthy relationships. We seek to fill an inner longing with one unhealthy relationship after another, but we must break the pattern we are stuck in.

    Do you want to break-free and experience a true relationship - one that is not codependent on others? You can change, but the change is gradual. You cannot expect an overnight instantaneous transformation. God is willing and able to help you, you need to listen to the His call. What we refer to as a crisis is often God's attempt to wake us up.

    True love is defined in First Corinthians 13. Love is unselfish, caring, forgiving and when you look to Jesus you see true love lived out. When we experience God's love we have hope and God is our center and the past has no claim on our today or our tomorrow.

    We must dig deep to to work our way back up. Trials come but they are a tool to deepen our trust in God and to serve as an example of encouragement to others who are on their own journey to freedom from unhealthy and addictive codependency. Break Through is your guide to breaking free so that you can make healthy relationship decisions.

    I received a copy of this title from the publisher Worthy Publishing for the purpose this review. A favorable review was not required.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 15, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Are you struggling with an abusive, controlling, or just plain u

    Are you struggling with an abusive, controlling, or just plain unhealthy relationship? This book is all about having healthy relationships with people and when to give "tough" love and when to "give in". It's filled with practical advice, stories and thoughts on the correct way to handle relationships and love those around us. It's from a Christian perspective and would be gold for a person dealing with one or more dysfunctional relationships.
    Even though I, thankfully, don't have to deal with any of these issues, I still enjoyed the book. It wasn't too clinical or boring and was filled with stories to break up the advice being given. Definitely a book I would recommend if you are struggling with a relationship gone wrong.

    I received this book free of charge from Handlebar Marketing in exchange for my honest review.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 22, 2013

    I was completely impressed with this Biblically-based book about

    I was completely impressed with this Biblically-based book about healthy relationships. And I don't mean just marital relationships, but all relationships. The authors give you practical tips on how to transform your relationships(and predominantly you)into what God wants them (and you) to be.

    The thing that impressed me more than anything was that the Bible was continually consulted as the primary source. So often in Christian counseling, there is too much emphasis on secular self-help strategies. The authors continued to bring us back to what Jesus did on this earth and what the apostle Paul wrote in his epistles. They do bring in other sources by various Christian theologians and even non-Christians, but everything is measured against the world.

    I did see some of myself and others in my sphere of influence. I plan to go back and do a rereading of various sections so I can apply many of their principles. In the end, it is good to know that in my experience, I am not alone. There are others who feel my pain and have walked in similar circumstances. And it is possible to change with the help of God.

    I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever had difficulties in a relationship. Isn't that everyone?

    I was sent of a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I was not financially compensated in any way, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2012

    Tuesday

    Read

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 19, 2012

    So incredibly helpful! Worth the read!

    This book is so rich with practical advice on how to have healthy relationships Jesus' way. Reading this is a good first step into getting healthy relationally and how to invite those you love to do the same!

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  • Posted June 8, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back

    This book offers in depth information on how to set healthy boundaries and limit your time with people who are determined to cross them. It also contains stories from real situations that people were facing on setting boundaries and meeting disagreements head-on. I would recommend this book be read in a group setting to help the readers process their issues, or someone professional. This is a very detailed book and at times the reader could be overwhelmed with all of the information. However I do think this book does get a bit repetitive, it seems to repeat the same thing read three chapters ago, which was a bit of a turn off for me. I would give this book a 3.5 rating, a suggested read from me. I wish that I could have read this book about seventeen years ago, but I am grateful that I was offered a chance to read this book by Worthy Publishing in exchange for my review today.

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  • Posted May 29, 2012

    Break Through When to Give in How to Push Back – by Tim Cl

    Break Through When to Give in How to Push Back – by Tim Clinton, Pat Springle

    If you have ever grew up in an abusive family life, or have ever been in a bad relationship this book is just what you need. I really enjoyed this book. It was not just enlightening it actually explained why we react when our relationships are good or bad. I learned a word from this book it was the word enmeshed. That is exactly what we are. We become enmeshed with new relationships, and old.

    This book teaches you how to change the way react to our relationships to a healthy way of dealing with our friends, family, significant others even our children if you have any. I sure learned a lot about what makes people tick, but also I learned how God wants us to be. He did not create us so that we are dependent on others. He created us to be free to depend on Him. Sometimes we forget this, but Tim and Pat explain how God liberates us from this. I truly recommend this book. I do not want to give the book away but I did have something jump out at me and that was this scripture. Therefore He says “Awake you who sleep. Arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” Ephesians 5:14. You see God and this book is telling us. We cannot do anything without God. He is the creator of us all, and we cannot be enmeshed with those we are in a relationship with. We need to be enmeshed with God. How wonderful what a Breakthrough.

    I received this book for free I was not influenced to write a positive or negative review.

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