Breathing Ecstasy: Finding Sexual Bliss Using the Incredible Power of Breath

Overview

Take your lovemaking to incredible new heights by using one of nature’s greatest gifts: the breath. By learning simple breathing techniques, you can overcome the blocks that have kept you from true sensual satisfaction, or take an already ful?lling sexual relationship to the next plane of pleasure.
Best-selling authors Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks present their unique mind-body approach that has helped thousands of couples break through to a new dimension of fulfillment. In ...
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Overview

Take your lovemaking to incredible new heights by using one of nature’s greatest gifts: the breath. By learning simple breathing techniques, you can overcome the blocks that have kept you from true sensual satisfaction, or take an already ful?lling sexual relationship to the next plane of pleasure.
Best-selling authors Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks present their unique mind-body approach that has helped thousands of couples break through to a new dimension of fulfillment. In Breathing Ecstasy, they reveal techniques they have taught for decades, including:
•The 5-minute practice that can change your definition of sexual pleasure
•How to deepen your natural orgasm reflex
•Discovering your body’s “B-spot” for more intense intimacy
With helpful illustrations, Breathing Ecstasy invites you on a journey to enhance your relationship and achieve new levels of sexual delight.

Author Biography: Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have been called “America’s most trusted relationship experts” and have authored more than twenty books on psychology, including Conscious Loving and Conscious Breathing. At the Hendricks Institute in California, they have counseled thousands of individuals with their unique whole-body approach for relationship transformation.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780609809389
  • Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 1/28/2003
  • Edition description: 1ST
  • Pages: 160
  • Product dimensions: 5.80 (w) x 6.78 (h) x 0.38 (d)

Read an Excerpt

1.

The Breathing Secrets of Sexual Fulfillment

Breathing is the best aphrodisiac of all. If you learn to use your breathing artfully, you can take your lovemaking into astonishing new realms. Based on thirty years of experience with over three thousand couples, we can make one major claim about sexuality: Breath is the ultimate exhilarating catalyst of sexual pleasure.

We get a wide range of reactions—disbelief, wonder, humor—when we make this seemingly outrageous assertion in public venues such as seminars and talk shows. (One of our favorite quips: “If you don’t believe it, just try making love to somebody who’s not breathing!”) However, the initial reaction is always followed by curiosity. Everybody always wants to know how to use breath as a path to greater sexual pleasure. Breathing Ecstasy shows you exactly how.

A New Dimension of Tantra

The word tantra, in Sanskrit, means “body,” but it also has a host of other meanings, including “loom.” When tantra is used to mean “loom” it refers to the technology for weaving together two different threads into a unified whole. In other words, tantra is the weaving together of two elements into one. In the evolution of our relationship and body-centered therapy work, Breathing Ecstasy represents the unification of these two areas of interest, as we show how to use the organic resources of the body to take relationships into new dimensions of consciousness.

Breathwork for Enhancing Sexual Pleasure

In the same way that an accelerant causes a fire to burn brighter and faster, breathing is the ultimate “exhilarant”of sexuality. Here’s a recent example of Breathing Ecstasy at work:

A couple comes to us to work on enhancing their sexual relationship. In general, their sexual connection has been satisfying, but they have hit a flat spot of stale routine; they feel a need for some kind of shift into a new dimension of passion. Referred by friends of ours, they’ve made a cross-country trek to spend a day working with us. The day, which they will later tell us signified the rebirth of passion in their relationship, began with a simple breathing practice.

We begin by teaching them one of the most fundamental Breathing Ecstasy practices. In this breathing exercise, they’re sitting face-to-face, touching hands and making eye contact.

We invite them to match each other’s breathing. The first instruction is simply to watch the rise and fall of the other person’s belly and chest. While this may not seem overtly connected to sex, it is an extremely important starting point of the process. There is something about tuning in to another person at such an intimate level—and receiving such intimate attention by another—that sends a deep message back and forth. It says, “I see you and I’m resonating with you.” After a minute or so they relax and soften as they get into the spirit of the activity.

Now we invite them to close their eyes and match the other person’s breathing by listening sensitively to the sounds of each other’s inhalation and exhalation. A minute of this new variation brings a smile to both their faces; they soften further into postures of relaxation. (In our parlance, shifting from visual to auditory awareness of breathing is called “changing channels.”) Now we invite them to change channels once again: We say, “Feel the rise and fall of the other person’s breathing through touch contact.” There is a profound silence in the room as they connect at a deeper level.

Now we focus directly on sexuality. We ask them to describe something that turns them on sexually. He says, “I really like it when you massage my perineum [the area between genitals and anus] gently when we’re making love.” She chuckles knowingly and says, “I like it when you rub my bottom as you pass by me in the kitchen.” We ask them to dwell on those thoughts for a few moments. They do so, and their smiles intensify. Now we invite them to “breathe to meet your feelings” and to “greet your sexual feelings with your breathing.” By this we mean to breathe in the direction of the feeling, using the breath as a way of embracing the sensations. This instruction has the effect of making the sensations bigger. Now their smiles are turning into audible sighs of obvious sexual pleasure, and we invite them to enjoy a few more moments before pausing.

This example shows one of our simplest exercises at work. At our home base in California (the Hendricks Institute and the Foundation for Conscious Living) we work with a wide variety of people and problems. Most of our work for the past decade has been in relationship counseling. Sometimes the work involves relationship issues between executives in companies with whom we consult, but the majority of our time is spent counseling couples and conducting relationship seminars. In this context we have had the gift of three thousand willing couples to work with. Because of this large database, we’ve been able to develop and refine a substantial number of powerful, reliable techniques. About 15 percent of these couples have been in same-sex relationships, and about 10 percent have been racial or ethnic minorities. These demographics have given us an opportunity to develop techniques that work well with a variety of people.

The problems couples bring to us can be grouped into four main areas: money, sex, communication, kids. Many times, of course, the couple has issues in more than one of these areas. We do not consider ourselves “sex therapists.” This label is far too narrow to contain our interests or our philosophy. In reality, a couple often has a particular distorted pattern of relating to each other that shows up in money, sex, communication, and the way they parent their children.

Copyright© 2003 by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D.
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