Bringing Metal to the Children: The Complete Berserker's Guide to World Tour Domination [NOOK Book]

Overview

So you've watched the movies This Is Spinal Tap and Monty Python and the Holy Grail a hundred times each, and now you desire another brilliant opus to tickle your cranial sponge in a similar fashion. Well, look no further, fellow Berzerkers! Golden god Zakk Wylde and his brother-in-Metal Eric Hendrikx are about to take you on a Black Label Crusade of World Tour Domination, sharing never-before-told stories of backstage lunacy and Metal-maniacal anecdotes for the aspiring ...

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Bringing Metal to the Children: The Complete Berserker's Guide to World Tour Domination

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Overview

So you've watched the movies This Is Spinal Tap and Monty Python and the Holy Grail a hundred times each, and now you desire another brilliant opus to tickle your cranial sponge in a similar fashion. Well, look no further, fellow Berzerkers! Golden god Zakk Wylde and his brother-in-Metal Eric Hendrikx are about to take you on a Black Label Crusade of World Tour Domination, sharing never-before-told stories of backstage lunacy and Metal-maniacal anecdotes for the aspiring Berzerker like you.

Why would you need to buy this book about a modern-day Viking who strums his own fiddle for a living? You'd better ask yourself one simple question: Would you rather have us come beat the money out of you, or do you want to give it up the easy and painless way?

As a twenty-five-year veteran of the Ozzy Osbourne band and Black Label Society, Zakk Wylde has managed not only to stay alive against all odds but has also survived numerous attacks on his life by members of his own band, his wife, his children, his manager, and even his dogs. Among deranged tales of onstage indecent exposure and booze-fueled destruction, Wylde continues your Metal awakening with the sacred founding myths—explaining, for instance, how the forging of Metal in Valhalla begot the Black Label Empire—and lays out the battle-tested Rules of the Road.

For the young Metal Loki, Wylde offers exclusive tips on how not to make it in the business, insights about planning your band's tour and outfitting the Black Vatican recording studio, plus more useful advice on how to set up a shooting range on a tour bus and how to survive a mosh pit. Bringing Metal to the Children will make you laugh, weep, vomit—maybe even soil yourself—and if you aspire to new heights of Metal mayhem, get on the bus and get ready for the Metal ride of your life.

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  • Bringing Metal to the Children
    Bringing Metal to the Children  

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062079350
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 4/10/2012
  • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 500,042
  • File size: 36 MB
  • Note: This product may take a few minutes to download.

Meet the Author

In the two decades since Ozzy Osbourne hired him away from his job at a New Jersey gas station to become his new guitarist, Zakk Wylde has established himself as a guitar icon known and revered the world over. Writing and recording with Osbourne led to multiplatinum success, inspiring him to create the now-legendary Black Label Society in 1998. Wylde has won nearly every guitar award imaginable, and is a major influence on a new battalion of rock guitarists.

Writer, photographer, and fellow Berzerker Eric Hendrikx is a notable contributor to more than a dozen books, including Forrest Griffin's New York Times bestsellers Got Fight? and Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down. A lifelong musician, Hendrikx playedguitar in the rock band Snake River Conspiracy. He currently lives in Southern California with his son, Stone.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 18 )
Rating Distribution

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Sort by: Showing all of 18 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 21, 2012

    I have been a fan of Zakk since I saw him walk on stage in Charl

    I have been a fan of Zakk since I saw him walk on stage in Charlotte NC on his first tour with Ozzy. I have seen BLS 2x and have been a fan of theirs from the beginning. With that being said, I wish I would've never bought this book. My kids bought me a gift card and I thought this would be an awesome purchse since I already read I AM OZZY. (I almost chocked laughing so hard at that one, 5 *) But as for Zakk's book, one can only stand to read about him sucking someone's dick , getting F**Ked in the ass and talking about JD for so many pages and then it gets OLD real quick. I almost stopped reading but the only reason I didnt is because I didnt want to waste that money. I wouldnt recommend this book to anyone, not even a fan. I will sell it on eBay for sure. I dreaded even picking it up and tried to just read it to to get thru it. And all the Viking talk became nonsense after the 2nd chapter. It was just garbled junk. I even stopped reading the Chapter pages. Ive read tons of Rock Star books that I would recommend in a heart beat...Ozzy, The Crue, Manson, Slash, DLR, but this one I couldnt wait to be done with. 1 star isnt worth it here.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 1, 2013

    -¿¿-Zakk Le Batt Or

    Zakk-¿¿-

    Hello, My Buddeh!! O.o As you few may know. I'm Le ONE and ONLY Zakk Le Batt! 0-o Whaa, you don't know who Zakk Le Batt is? You must be tripping. **Dies** Ish dead. Lawl. xD M'kay let's get going!! :{D <~ That Face is A Mustache face. Lawl. I MADE A MUSTACHE-OOH FACEH!! Yea! Ok. <p> Name~ Zakk Le'Fonga Bon Qui Qui Le Batt the 29th Soo, Zakk Le'Fonga Bon Qui Qui Le Batt the 29th. Can yea get all dat? Mhmmmm! O3O <p> Age~ Ok, buster. Why do YOU out of all people wanna know? Huh, SPEAK! Ok. Ok. Ok. I'm sorry. **Puppy Dog Face** Forgive me, Peas!! Yes, I like Peas. **Facepalm** <p> Looks~ I'm a white waitress. With dreads and blue eyes! Jk, Jk, Jk. I'M FU<__>CKING KIDDING WITH YOU! D-A-M-N! Dx Ok, For reals now. I'm 4'9 inches. O-o Yea, I'm small. No, but, I'm 4'9 in feet. Ok. Still small but whateves. I have shaggy black slick hair. Sometimes, I dye it a exotic color. Like HOT PINK!! I wear any-color v-necks. And any color skinny jeans with some black vans. My pants sagg. Don't hate. I'm a skater. Whatcha expect. I go skating in my birthday suit. **Chuckles** That's a good idea. I'ma do dat knoww!! **Runs off** Ok, <p> Relationship~ I am taken by the most, wonderfulest(Not a Word.), Funniest, Smartest, prettiest, lovelyist(Another. Not a word.), Beatifulist(I get it.), girl EVA! Her name is Trinity Blake. My wifeh! Yesh, we are married. Lawl. <p> Facts~ I am rped by a girl. Yes, A girl. Got a problem. I'm a transie. No, jk! I'm straight. I have a bf in rl. Forever taken! Lawl. Ok, got a problem? I'm a writer. I write for both genders. Just remwmber in the end we're all human. Sooo, if you gotta problem. I suggest talking to the people of the world. Espically, authors. It's ok being a girl and rping a guy. But, not for guy to rp a girl. O.o That's like. A girl telling a girl their pretty and the pther girl saying thank you. Then a guy telling another guy. Your so handsom. The guy reacts by saying. Are you g<__> ay? Yea, No. Like I said, I'm straight as a rainbow. Jk! Damn, you take everything so serious. T.T **His baby Watermelon pees on him** Not Agian! Bad Watermel', Bad Watermel'! O-o <p> Anything else.. Ohhhh, Yea! My Friends! My Besties are, Cali, Trinity, Alex, and Fang!! My friends are... Uhhh, theres Too Many!! **Crys in a corner** Lawl. I like to say 'Lawl' and I like pandas #Se<__>xyBeast Buh-Bye My Bi<__>tches!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 12, 2013

    Funny if you never left middle school...

    The only reason I finished this book was because I paid for it. In the pages of this book one must wade through constant...and I mean constant references to his penis, sexual demeaning of his wife and ridiculous Viking fantasy to read a handful of decent stories. But then, you would still need to feel diarrhea stories were decent. Almost unreadable.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 1, 2012

    Courtney

    Boroklyn. Other one i thought of lives in NH or Vermont ^__^

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2012

    Izzy

    MY MOUTH HURTS

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 29, 2012

    Jimmy

    *he flips a golden sword in his hand which glows brightly*

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2012

    Tori

    Yawns

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 29, 2012

    Avery

    Why would you want to do that

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2012

    ZEUS CABIN

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 16, 2012

    SDMF GI/FD \m/\m/

    SDMF GI/FD \m/\m/

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2013

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    Posted February 12, 2011

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    Posted April 25, 2012

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    Posted April 16, 2012

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    Posted May 13, 2012

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    Posted May 11, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 10, 2012

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    Posted May 1, 2013

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