Bringing out the Best in Yourself at Work: How to Use the Enneagram System for Success / Edition 1

by Ginger Lapid-Bogda

Overview

A proven system for improving your own work and for working better in a team

Used by such organizations as the Walt Disney Company, Silicon Graphics, the Federal Reserve Bank, and the CIA, the Enneagram is a proven psychological system based on nine number types that helps people achieve self-awareness and develop strategic approaches to interpersonal interactions. In Bringing Out the Best in Yourself at Work, Enneagram teacher and business consultant Ginger Lapid-Bodga shows professionals how to apply this popular tool to their work as a way to improve their productivity and help them build positive relationships among coworkers. This practical guide explains how to use the Enneagram to:

• Communicate more effectively
• Provide constructive feedback
• Prevent and resolve conflict
• Bring out their strongest leadership skills
• Discover methods for professional development
• Work better in teams

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780071439602
Publisher:	McGraw Hill LLC
Publication date:	07/30/2004
Pages:	304
Sales rank:	480,222
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.80(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Ginger Lapid-Bodga, Ph.D. (Santa Monica, CA), is the president-elect of the International Enneagram Association for 2004. As a business consultant, she frequently speaks to companies such as CBS, Disney, GE, P&G, McDonald's, and Time Warner as well as at professional conferences. She is also an internationally recognized Enneagram teacher.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1

{CT}Discovering Your Enneagram Style

{TF}According to the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations, a person with emotional intelligence (EQ) possesses both personal competence and social competence. Social competence--that is, social awareness and skills--depends on an individual's personal competence. Personal competence begins with self-awareness--emotional awareness, accurate self-assessment, and self-confidence--and then expands to include self-regulation and self-motivation. The most accurate and useful system available to help develop both personal and social competence is the Enneagram, which is why companies all over the world--Hewlett Packard, Sony, and Disney--are embracing it, and the CIA uses it to predict the behavior of foreign leaders. To use the Enneagram, a person must first accurately identify his or her own Enneagram style from among the nine unique personality styles identified by numbers One through Nine.

{T}Each of us has only one place on the Enneagram. While your Enneagram style remains the same throughout your lifetime, your characteristics may soften or become more pronounced as you grow and develop. As you read this chapter, you will find information and exercises to help you identify your Enneagram style. As you do the activities, you may find that two, or even three, Enneagram styles seem to match you. This is not unusual. While you have one core pattern, there are four other Enneagram styles linked to your own; these related styles add to the Enneagram's richness and are explained later in this chapter. It is easier to learn about these connecting styles after you have identified your own basic style.

To determine your Enneagram style, you will need to take stock of yourself, making an honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. The following exercises, checklists, and concepts are your guides in this process, so please take your time and do them all in sequence. Accurately identifying your own Enneagram style is crucial to understanding and using the ideas in the entire book. Begin by going through the following two warm-up exercises. They will help you get started in thinking about yourself, and the answers will be useful to you as you proceed through the rest of the chapter's activities. {A}Warm-Up Exercise 1: Identify Your Strengths and Weaknesses {TF}Please write down your answers to the question that follows. Identify two to three people, preferably from a work context, who have known you well over a period of time. What would they think are your three greatest strengths and your three greatest weaknesses? If you limit your thinking to one person's perceptions, you will likely write down characteristics that would be only that person's point of view. If you use your perceived perspectives of several people, the information is likely to be more accurate and useful.

{2CLH}Three Strengths Three Weaknesses {2CL}1. 1. 2. 2. 3. 3. {TF}This exercise may look simple, but it is actually revealing something about your Enneagram style. Try to remember your responses here as you go through the remaining activities in the chapter; you will probably see some of the exact words you picked as you read about and determine your own Enneagram style.

{A}Warm-Up Exercise 2: Chart Your Emotional Index

{TF}Because we are human beings, we all have emotions. However, we do not all have an identical range of emotions, nor do we all feel with the same degree of intensity. Feelings actually fall into four main groupings: Mad, Sad, Glad, and Afraid. All human emotions are variations on these basic categories. {T}Feelings vary in strength and can be sorted into low, medium, or high intensities. Please read the emotions checklist below and place a check next to every feeling you frequently experience. Think about this as a checklist of your emotional repertoire--not just feelings you may have experienced in the last week or month, but emotions you have tended to feel fairly regularly over your life.

{TSH}Mad {TCH}High Intensity Medium Intensity Low Intensity {TT}{bb} Embittered {bb} Agitated {bb} Bothered {bb} Enraged {bb} Aggressive {bb} Cynical {bb} Furious {bb} Belligerent {bb} Displeased {bb} Hostile {bb} Disgusted {bb} Dissatisfied {bb} Incensed {bb} Frustrated {bb} Irked {bb} Infuriated {bb} Indignant {bb} Provoked {bb} Outraged {bb} Irritated {bb} Peeved {bb} Seething {bb} Resentful {bb} Tense {bb} Vengeful {bb} Revolted {bb} Upset {TSH}Sad {TCH}High Intensity Medium Intensity Low Intensity {TT}{bb} Anguished {bb} Abandoned {bb} Bored {bb} Defeated {bb} Apathetic {bb} Disappointed {bb} Depressed {bb} Discouraged {bb} Disillusioned {bb} Desperate {bb} Distressed {bb} Helpless {bb} Devastated {bb} Hopeless {bb} Lonely {bb} Humiliated {bb} Melancholic {bb} Pained {bb} Powerless {bb} Pessimistic {bb} Somber {bb} Purposeless {bb} Sorrowful {bb} Unhappy {bb} Worthless {bb} Weak {bb} Vulnerable {TSH}Glad {TCH}High Intensity Medium Intensity Low Intensity {TT}{bb} Blissful {bb} Animated {bb} Alive {bb} Delighted {bb} Cheerful {bb} Calm {bb} Ecstatic {bb} Excited {bb} Carefree {bb} Enthusiastic {bb} Grateful {bb} Content {bb} Euphoric {bb} Optimistic {bb} Lighthearted {bb} Joyful {bb} Passionate {bb} Peaceful {bb} Thriving {bb} Proud {bb} Pleased {bb} Vibrant {bb} Satisfied {bb} Relaxed {bb} Vigorous {bb} Thankful {bb} Secure {TSH}Afraid {TCH}High Intensity Medium Intensity Low Intensity {TT}{bb} Alarmed {bb} Anxious {bb} Cautious {bb} Defenseless {bb} Apprehensive {bb} Concerned {bb} Distressed {bb} Disoriented {bb} Confused {bb} Fearful {bb} Disturbed {bb} Doubtful {bb} Frightened {bb} Insecure {bb} Guarded {bb} Intimidated {bb} Startled {bb} Hesitant {bb} Panicked {bb} Stressed {bb} Reluctant {bb} Petrified {bb} Troubled {bb} Suspicious {bb} Traumatized {bb} Worried {bb} Wary {TF}The pattern of your checks is important. To analyze what you see, look over your marks. It helps to start with larger patterns first and then move to a more detailed assessment.

{B}Larger Patterns

{BL}Overall, do you have many checks (over 50 percent) or very few (under 25 percent)?

{BL}Which of the four feeling categories have the most checks, and which have the least?

{BL}Do your checks show that you generally favor a particular intensity level?

{B}More Detailed Patterns

{BL}Within each of the four feeling categories, do you notice any patterns regarding your intensity level? {BLL}Comparing the checks within one category to those in another, do you notice any particular differences or similarities? {TF}Your responses and analysis may give you very helpful information, because your emotional patterns are strongly related to your Enneagram style. This connection is most easily explained by the concept of Centers of Intelligence. {T}Each Enneagram style is rooted in one of three Centers--the Head Center, the Heart Center, or the Body Center. Our emotional repertoire often reflects our main Center. The notion of a primary Center, which stems from a long Eastern philosophical tradition, refers to the way in which we typically react, often internally, to events in our lives. While we all have heads, hearts, and bodies, each of us tends to favor one of these three modalities. The following explanation of the Emotional Index response patterns may help you to both clarify your primary Center and identify your Enneagram style, as each Center contains three of the nine Enneagram styles. The Emotional Index patterns described here are tendencies only; they reflect trends that occur roughly 75 percent of the time.

{C}Head Center Emotional Patterns{CX}If you had many checks in the Afraid category, particularly marks next to medium- and high-intensity words, your Enneagram style may be in the Head Center (also called the Mental Center). The Head Center contains Enneagram styles Five, Six, and Seven. These three mental styles share the tendency to engage first in elaborate analysis as a reaction to their common emotion, fear.

Fives respond to fear by withdrawing, retreating into their minds in order to understand. If your Emotional Index marks were also predominantly low-intensity in the other three feeling categories, you may be a Five. When Fives withdraw, they tend to detach emotionally, hence their lower-intensity scores.

Sixes react to their worry and fear by anticipating negative scenarios and planning alternatives to circumvent what could go wrong. As a result, the Six Emotional Index scores will often show a high number of checks in all three Afraid intensity levels. Sevens take a different route in dealing with fear, moving from worry very quickly into pleasurable possibilities. Although Sevens do not appear fearful on the surface, they are actually running from fear and pain--an avoidance reaction. Their Emotional Index scores will often show not only many checks in the Afraid list but a similar high number of marks on the Glad list. {C}Heart Center Emotional Patterns{CX}If you had numerous checks in all four Emotional Index categories, your Enneagram style may be in the Heart Center--styles Two, Three, and Four. Individuals with these Heart (Emotional) Center styles work hard to project a particular image, and they use their emotions to perceive how others are responding to them. Twos try to create an image of being likable, and they look to others for affirmation of their self-worth. Because they tend to be warm, optimistic, and enthusiastic, the Two Emotional Index usually contains a high number of checks in the Glad category. If you have checks in all four categories but fewer Sad marks, you may be a Three. Threes work to project an image of success, and they seek the respect and admiration of others for what they accomplish. Allowing oneself feelings of sadness does not correspond with the "can-do" orientation of most Threes. Fours, on the other hand, are very familiar with feelings of sadness and melancholy, so the Sad category is the one in which they often have the highest number of marks. As the most inwardly focused of the three Heart Center styles, Fours try to create an image of being unique or special, and they use their emotional sensitivity to defend against rejection. {C}Body Center Emotional Patterns{CX}If your Emotional Index marks were highest in the Mad category, your Enneagram style may be in the Body Center, also called the Gut Center or Instinctual Center--styles One, Eight, and Nine. Anger lies in the emotional substructure of these three styles.

Medium intensity checks in the Mad category combined with a range of Sad marks may indicate that you are a One. The One's anger, while deep, often manifests as frequent irritations followed by flares of resentment. Tending toward self-criticism, Ones can also become discouraged and depressed, hence their familiarity with the range of Sad emotions. If you had a large number of checks--particularly high-intensity marks--in the Mad category, you may be an Eight. Eights tend to express their anger frequently and directly. Their anger, which begins in the gut and moves rapidly up and outward, is stimulated by various events, such as an injustice done to someone, weakness in others, someone taking ineffective control of a situation, and someone's lying. The Nine's anger, sometimes called "anger that went to sleep," lies deep below the surface. The anger gets activated when Nines feel either ignored or forced to do something. However, the Nine Emotional Index may or may not show high Mad marks; Nines tend to avoid anger and conflict, preferring a feeling of rapport and comfort with others. Therefore, it is just as common for Nines to have an Emotional Index with primarily low- or medium-intensity marks in all four categories.

# {TF}The purpose of these two warm-up activities has been to get you started in thinking about yourself and your Enneagram style. As you move through the next pages, keep your responses to both activities in mind. The information gained will be useful as you proceed to learn about the Enneagram system and discover your Enneagram style.

{A}Exercise 3: Discover Your Enneagram Style

{TF}For each Enneagram style, you will find a descriptive paragraph, followed by four words and a question to ask yourself. The four words include two positive and two negative words or phrases associated with that style. Next to the style description is an illustration with a single word below it. The picture and word together symbolize a main characteristic of the style and give you additional information to consider as you identify your Enneagram style.

{T}Begin by reading through all of the Enneagram descriptions on the following pages. In reviewing the paragraphs, ask yourself: Which of these descriptions most accurately describes my inner workings, not what is necessarily visible to others? If you are over forty years old, also think about how you were in your thirties, twenties, and even your teenage years. If more than one paragraph description seems accurate, please reread those particular paragraphs to determine which one fits you the best. Keep in mind that the Enneagram descriptions used here may not be in the exact words you would choose to describe yourself, but they may be similar. These descriptions work best when you take the entire paragraph into consideration rather than focusing on only one sentence or even one word. For example, when you read the Enneagram Six paragraph, you will see a statement concerning the Six's "supporting underdog causes." Fighting for social justice is common to several Enneagram styles, so this comment needs to be read in the context of the whole style description.

The question at the bottom of each paragraph is particularly helpful in clarifying whether that style matches your own behavior. These questions focus on an Enneagram style characteristic that is habitual and often unconscious. For example, the One question Do I have a voice in my head, like a tape recorder, that continually criticizes me for what I do wrong? may describe each of us, as we can all be self-critical. However, self-recrimination is unending for Ones. Ones describe this internal judge as a voice that is perpetually on 75 percent of the time or more. Some Ones even describe being awakened from a deep sleep by their self-critic. It is therefore very important that you look at these questions closely.

[Insert art #21 in front of{A2}] {A2}Ones {DIA}With high internal expectations for behavior, I hold myself and others accountable to meet these important standards. It is easy for me to see what is wrong or incorrect in a situation, as well as to see how things can be improved. I may come across as overly demanding or critical, but it is simply hard for me not to have things done the right way. I take great satisfaction in assuming responsibility, and I enjoy a refined, aesthetic sense of perfection. When I say I will do something, I make sure it is done properly. When others act unfairly or irresponsibly, I get resentful, although I try not to show it. {AL}? Hardworking ? Judging Disciplined Inflexible {DIA}Do I have a voice or message in my head, like a tape recorder, that continuously criticizes me for what I do wrong? [insert art #22 in front of{A2}] {A2}Twos {DIA}My greatest strength is being sensitive to other people's needs--sometimes with people I do not even know. It is as if I have an invisible antenna that can read other people's needs, often before they do. I like to think of myself as a warmhearted, friendly, and generous person. Good relationships are important to me; I work hard at developing them. Sometimes it is hard for me to resist helping others, even though I may be overwhelmed or in need of help myself. I may then feel taken for granted or unappreciated for my efforts and can become emotional or insistent. {AL}? Caring ? Indirect Tuned into others' feelings Overly accommodating {DIA}Do I intuitively know what someone else needs but have a hard time articulating my own needs, even to myself? [Insert art #23 in front of {A2}] {A2}Threes {DIA}I am most motivated by a need for success, achievement, and being the best. Generally, I have done well with whatever I have set as a goal. I strongly identify with work, and I believe that a person's value is largely based on what he or she accomplishes. Because I am so busy, I often set aside feelings or self-reflection so I can get everything done. I can get frustrated with people who do not use my time well or who do not step up to the task. Although I am a competitor, I can also be a good team player (although I often head up the team!). {AL}? Confident ? Competitive Results-oriented Workaholic {DIA}Do I do all the things I do so that others will value and respect me? [insert art #24 in front of {A2}] {A2}Fours

{DIA}I am a sensitive person who finds richness and meaning in authentic relationships with others. Because I enjoy symbolic aesthetic expression, I may be drawn to the arts in various forms. My artistic sense is for the sophisticated and unique. I often feel that other people do not understand me; I can react strongly to this with anger or sadness. I am happiest when I feel special and deeply connected. I am also willing to experience the sadder parts of life; in fact, melancholy has a wistful quality for me. Often, I find the ordinary boring and the distant or unavailable appealing. {AL}? Creative ? Intense Expressive Self-conscious {DIA}When I feel something very strongly, do I hold onto my emotions intensely for long periods of time, often replaying my thoughts, feelings, and sensations? [insert art #25 in front of {A2}] {A2}Fives {DIA}I see myself as an analytical person who thrives on time alone to recharge my energy. I enjoy observing situations rather than being in the middle of them, and I do not like too many demands being placed on me. I like to reflect on my experiences when I am by myself so I can enjoy, understand, and sometimes relive them. Because I have such an active mental life, I am never bored when I am alone. I would like to live a simple, uncomplicated life and be as self-sufficient as possible. {AL}? Analytical ? Detached Objective Unassertive {DIA}When a situation gets emotional or intense, am I able to easily disconnect from my feelings of the moment and then reconnect later at a time and place of my choice? [insert art #26 in front of {A2}] {A2}Sixes {DIA}One of my greatest strengths is my sharp, incisive mind, which goes into high gear when I imagine something is threatening my security or safety. My inquisitive mind also allows me access to keen insights or intuition. Trusting others is a central issue for me, and I often scan my environment to determine whether a danger may be forthcoming. Suspicious of authority, I am also committed and loyal to organizations to which I belong. I may either avoid danger or approach it head-on, and I am usually active in supporting underdog causes. {AL}? Loyal ? Worrying Responsible Hypervigilant {DIA}Do I constantly worry, thinking about what could go wrong and trying to plan so these negative possibilities will not occur? [insert art #27 in front of {A}] {A2}Sevens {DIA}I am an optimistic person who enjoys coming up with new and interesting things to do. I have a very active mind that quickly moves back and forth between different ideas. I like to get a global picture of how all these ideas fit together, and I get excited when I can connect concepts that initially do not appear to be related. I like to work on things that interest me, and I have a lot of energy to devote to them. I have a hard time sticking with unrewarding or repetitive tasks. If something gets me down, I prefer to shift my attention to more pleasant things. Having multiple options is important for me; otherwise, I feel boxed in. {AL}? Spontaneous ? Unfocused Synthesizing mind Rebellious {DIA}Do I continuously seek new and stimulating people, ideas, or events to keep life exciting and moving forward? [Insert art #28 in front of {A2}] {A2}Eights

{DIA}I place a high value on being strong, honest, and dependable, and I approach issues of importance in a straightforward way. I like strength and directness in others, and I can usually tell when someone is not telling me the truth or is being devious. I will protect innocent people, especially when an injustice has been done, yet I have trouble tolerating weakness in others. If I do not agree with those in authority or if no one is taking charge, I will step in and take control. It is hard not to display my feelings when I'm angry, and I am usually ready to stick up for friends and family. {AL}? Direct ? Controlling Assertive Excessive {DIA}Do I have a strong exterior, one that is sometimes intimidating to others (intentionally or unintentionally), that hides a less visible but vulnerable interior? [insert art #29 in front of {A2}] {A2}Nines {DIA}Because I can usually see and appreciate all points of view, I am good at helping people resolve their differences. This ability to grasp the advantages of all sides makes me nonjudgmental but may make me appear indecisive. I do not like conflict, and it takes a lot for me to show my anger directly. I enjoy engaging in a number of activities, and I sometimes get so completely involved in an activity that I may forget about something else I am supposed to be doing. Easygoing and likable, I seek a comfortable, harmonious, and accepting life. {AL}? Affable ? Puts things off Accepting Avoids conflict {DIA}Do I automatically blend with other people's positive energy, but get quite distressed when I am around negativity, anger, and conflict? # {TF}Now that you have read the nine Enneagram descriptions, take a piece of paper and rank the style numbers in order, from most like you to least like you. Most people ultimately find that their Enneagram style is one of the top four choices in this ranking exercise. {T}Follow the next steps in order; they will help you gain more certainty regarding your first-choice Enneagram paragraph description. {BLF}Reread your top four paragraph descriptions. Do one or two of them seem more accurate than the others? If yes, keep these in mind as you proceed. If not, keep the initial four choices. {BL}Next, review your list of strengths and weaknesses from Warm-Up Exercise 1. How do your lists compare with your top-choice paragraphs? If you find a good match between your strengths and weaknesses list and one of your top paragraphs, this is likely to be your Enneagram style. {BLL}Finally, does the pattern of your responses to the Emotional Index in Warm-Up Exercise 2 seem to match one of your top-choice paragraph descriptions? A yes answer here suggests that you have found your Enneagram style. {T}If you are now reasonably sure of your Enneagram style, the following information will give you more details about your selection. If you are not yet certain of your Enneagram style, that is fine; the information here will help you to further clarify the differences among the nine different styles.

{A}The Enneagram Model {TF}The big picture of the Enneagram system can be helpful to you. As you review the Enneagram model, shown four different ways, you can use the information to confirm or disconfirm what you initially thought was your style, and to learn the Enneagram system as well. {B}Descriptive Labels {TF}Sometimes people are able to identify their Enneagram style when they read the names commonly applied as Enneagram style labels. The label names come from a variety of Enneagram teachers and books. While no single label is standard throughout the Enneagram literature, the numbers (One through Nine) and general style descriptions are consistent with each other. {T}As you review the Enneagram model in Figure 1.1, please read the Enneagram labels and think about which set or sets of words best describe you.

[Insert Figure 1.1] {B}Personality Characteristics {TF}Figure 1.2 displays the most prominent characteristics of the nine Enneagram styles. Determine which set of characteristics most accurately describes you. Several words on the chart are italicized to indicate that a definition of the word appears in the sidebar. These italicized words, whose meanings may be unclear at first glance, are included here because they frequently appear in the Enneagram literature.

[Insert Figure 1.2] {SBTF}The italicized words from Figure 1.2 that may need explanation are as follows: {SBSH}Twos {SBTF}Manipulative refers to the interactive dynamic between Twos and others (often unconscious to the Two) in which Twos give to others as if not expecting anything in return. However, what a Two really wants is to be liked, needed, and treated as worthy. A forty-year-old software engineer in management describes this behavior to his colleagues: "At family functions, I offer each person a foot rub. If the person refuses, I get quite upset and wonder why they don't like me!" {SBSH}Threes {SBTF}Changes image describes the way Threes intuitively adjust their persona or image to the situation they are in. Striving to gain the respect of others, they know how to read their context and then dress and behave accordingly. A Three priest, for example, was taking a management course with business leaders. He dressed in casual business attire, and for six months no one knew that he was actually a member of the clergy. Neither his physical appearance nor his statements revealed this information. When questioned about his attire and behavior, he commented, "I thought people might discount what I had to say if they knew my profession."

{SBSH}Fives {SBTF}Fives compartmentalize, a process in which a person puts information, experiences, and even personal behavior into mental categories or "boxes," each separated from the other. As a Five explains, "I have boxes for my boxes!" {SBSH}Sevens {SBTF}Mentally reframes describes the way Sevens tend to respond when faced with unpleasant situations, such as pain, conflict, or criticism. Sevens will reframe something to give it a positive rather than negative meaning. For example, after having missed a strategic business meeting, a Seven project manager said, "Yes, but I was with an important client, getting more work for our group!" {SBT}The synthesizing mind associated with Sevens describes the process of jumping from idea to idea, thing to thing, and experience to experience, yet connecting all these events into a larger whole. This is sometimes called the monkey mind in Eastern spiritual tradition--the Seven's mind works like a monkey, grabbing branch after branch in rapid succession. A highly successful lawyer talks about his inner process: "While I'm listening to the conversation at the meeting I'm leading, I start thinking about a strategy for my biggest client, what I'm going to write in a brief, when to pick up my kids, and where I'm going to go for dinner, all the while still listening to the meeting." What he has neglected to say is that he also paced around the room the entire time and took three cell phone calls.

{SBSH}Nines

{SBTF}For the Nine, two of the descriptive words need clarification. Merges refers to the Nine tendency to connect and blend with other people's energy, enthusiasm, and personality. For this reason, many Nines initially think they have all nine Enneagram patterns. In a way, they do, because Nines at some time connect in this merged way with people from all places on the Enneagram. {SBT}The word narcotizes is a term from the Enneagram literature that means a tendency for a person to move away from the priority in front of him or her and engage in repetitive, secondary activities instead. Each Nine has a preferred way of doing this. For example, a prominent businessman describes himself this way: "I bring a briefcase full of work home. After dinner, I enjoy washing all the dishes, and my wife likes that. After that, she says that I disappear. I start to work but then go outside to garden for a few minutes, and that turns into hours. If it's too cold or too dark to garden, I do my work in front of the television. I start switching channels, and the time gets away from me. I end up bringing the same work home night after night."

{B}Focus of Attention

{TF}Tom Peters, author of the bestselling In Search of Excellence, noticed that the issues to which managers give the most attention are the ones that become priorities in their organizations; this is what is meant by focus of attention. So it is with the Enneagram. Depending on our Enneagram style, we pay greater attention to certain data, while we allow other information to recede into the background. Figure 1.3 shows the focus of attention for each Enneagram style. As you read this, ask yourself, In most situations, where does my attention go, often subliminally, first and foremost? [insert figure 1.3] {B}Worldview {TF}The third model describes the worldview of the nine Enneagram styles. A person's worldview, sometimes called a mental model or paradigm, is a set of tacit assumptions about how the world works and one's role in it. As you can see, each Enneagram style operates from a very different set of implicit assumptions. Which worldview in Figure 1.4 comes closest to your own? [insert figure 1.4] {A}Your Enneagram Style {TF}At this point, you have completed three exercises to help identify your style: {BLF}List of strengths and weaknesses {BL}Emotional Index {BLL}Enneagram style descriptions {TF}You also reviewed four different Enneagram charts in order to gain additional insights about the nine styles and compare this information with your top-choice paragraph descriptions. Now, ask yourself these questions: {BLF}What do I think is my Enneagram style? {BLL}Does it still seem that more than one style fits me? {T}Ultimately, you need to trust yourself when assessing your own Enneagram style. You know yourself best, after all. While feedback from others can be helpful, one person cannot necessarily determine another's Enneagram pattern based only on observable behavior. The Enneagram goes beyond external, observable traits, delving into inner motivations and internal processes. It is this depth that makes the Enneagram so powerful. Consequently, we should be careful not to assume we know someone else's place on the Enneagram, and we should also not assign ourselves an Enneagram style prematurely.

{A}Delving Deeper into the Enneagram

{TF}The Enneagram system has two additional features: each Enneagram style has "wings" as well as stress and security points. These features add complexity and richness to the Enneagram. If you already know your Enneagram style, these additional features of the Enneagram system will give you more insight into yourself. If you have not yet placed yourself on the Enneagram, that is also fine. The information that follows may help you understand why, for example, you selected the top four choices that you did. {B}Wings {TF}Wings are the Enneagram styles on each side of your actual Enneagram style. These are secondary styles of your core personality, which means that you may also display some of the characteristics of these Enneagram styles. Wings do not fundamentally change your Enneagram style; they merely add additional qualities to your core personality. You may have one wing, two wings, or no wings at all. It is also common to have had one wing more active when you were younger or to have had another appear as you matured. {T}Here are two questions that may help you determine whether you have any wings to your basic Enneagram style: {NLF} 1. Have you exhibited any characteristics of the styles on either side of your core Enneagram style at some time in your life? {NLL} 2. Did your top four Enneagram paragraphs contain numbers directly next to each other? {TF}If the answer to the second question is yes, one of those paragraphs may be your core style and others may indicate one, or possibly two, wings. People often select one of their wings among their top four paragraphs. {T}People of the same Enneagram style and identical wings may use their wing qualities differently. However, the general wing descriptions for all nine Enneagram styles (see Figure 1.5) may serve as guidelines to help you explore this aspect of the Enneagram and also help you to identify your wing or wings.

[insert figure 1.5]

{B}General Stress and Relaxation Reactions

{TF}In situations of stress, an individual's behavior typically becomes an accentuated version of the negative qualities of that person's Enneagram style. For example, Ones often become more critical; Twos tend to overextend their giving and then become angry; Threes tend to fixate even more on work; Fours often become hypersensitive; Fives may become more detached; Sixes may become immobilized by high anxiety; Sevens may become more frenzied; Eights might be more dominating; and Nines may get less accomplished. {T}When a person is feeling secure or relaxed, the strengths of his or her style often become more apparent. Ones may start to exhibit more excellence in what they do; Twos often become more freely giving and generous; Threes tend to become highly effective; Fours may become more joyful in their creativity; Fives often grasp how everything fits together; Sixes may share more pure insight; Sevens may implement more of their innovative ideas; Eights tend to make important things happen more often; and Nines often generate greater harmony in their lives. {B}Stress and Security Points {TF}In addition to the stress and security reactions described above, the Enneagram system also shows the dynamic pattern of how each Enneagram style, under conditions of stress or security, might move along the Enneagram. The stress point is the place on the Enneagram to which you move when you are feeling under pressure; the arrow points away from your core Enneagram style. The security point is the place on the Enneagram to which you move when you are feeling relaxed; the arrow points toward your core Enneagram style. When feeling stressed or secure, individuals do not change their core Enneagram style; they simply start showing some characteristics of their stress or security points.

{A}Stress Points

{TF}Under stress, the Enneagram arrows flow counterclockwise. The Enneagram style toward which your arrow points is your stress point. {B}The Inner Triangle: Stress {TF}If you look at the inner Enneagram triangle--styles Nine, Six, and Three--you will see the counterclockwise movement of the arrows. Under stress, Nine moves to Six, Six moves to Three, and Three moves to Nine (see Figure 1.6). Stress refers to any kind of pressure, ranging from mild demands, such as moderate deadlines, to circumstances of extreme duress, such as being passed over for a promotion. [Insert Figure 1.6] {T}Because Nines go to Six under stress, when pressured by issues such as severe time constraints or an impending conflict, Nines may begin to worry excessively like Sixes. Under moderate stress, Nines may also show more of their mental agility and insight. Sixes who are under pressure to take action may actually forgo some of their self-doubts and, like Threes, go for results. They may also become more driven, even to the point of becoming workaholics. Threes under stress move to Nine, and, like Nines, they may begin doing soothing sorts of activities, such as engaging in repetitive exercising or watching a great deal of television. Such pastimes provide comfort for those Threes experiencing anxiety related to situations of possible failure or interpersonal conflict. {B}The Hexad: Stress {TF}Now look at the interior lines of the Enneagram, with the inner triangle removed (Figure 1.7). This configuration, called a hexad, shows the six other Enneagram styles and their interconnections under stress.

[Insert Figure 1.7]

{T}Ones move to Four under stress, which often occurs when their sense of responsibility becomes a burden or they are deeply disappointed. At these times, Ones can get depressed for long periods of time. Fours under stress move to Two, most typically when they are feeling isolated or rejected. Fours in stressful situations may begin to give to others excessively but fail to take care of themselves. Fours under stress may also lose sight of who they are and, like Twos, try to become what they believe others want them to be. Twos move to Eight when they are stressed, which commonly occurs when they overextend themselves but do not feel appreciated for their efforts, or when they are frustrated about their inability to keep another person from being abused. An angry Two often becomes powerful, like an Eight.

Eights under stress move to Five, often after they have fought too many battles, overworked themselves to excess, or just feel too vulnerable. Eights under stress often retreat into their own worlds, moving away from other people and from the demands those people might place on them. During this time, Eights typically engage in self-reflection and recharge their energy. Fives under stress move to Seven and tend to become more extroverted and lively. For example, a Five having to give an important speech to a large group is, like anyone, under pressure. Giving a speech can be doubly stressful for Fives because they typically prefer private conversations and predictable interactions with others. On the podium, however, Fives often become upbeat, charming, and engaging--in other words, more like Sevens. And like Sevens, Fives under stress may also lose their focus. Sevens move to One under stress, which often results when the workload piles up or when a Seven feels trapped. Under pressure, Sevens may focus somewhat obsessively on getting the work done and may become critical about the smallest work details. There are wide variations in how people behave in relation to their stress points. Please note that stress may not be altogether negative for some people, who may, under pressure, demonstrate the positive characteristics of their stress point. For other people, stress is undesirable; these individuals will tend to exhibit more of their stress point's negative qualities. {A}Security Points {TF}Under security or relaxation, the Enneagram styles flow clockwise toward the points where the arrows originate. The Enneagram style at which your arrow originates is your security point. {B}The Inner Triangle: Security {TF}When secure, Nines move to Three and often become highly productive, efficient, and focused on results, like Threes. (See Figure 1.8. Note that the movement under security is in the opposite direction to the arrows shown in the figure.) [Insert Figure 1.8] {T}Relaxed Threes move to Six, where they can take the time to think through the challenges they face. At these times, their keen insights about people, work, and relationships often emerge. Sixes move to Nine when they feel secure and relaxed; no longer filled with angst about what might happen, Sixes can let their minds relax, and they engage in enjoyable activities. {B}The Hexad: Security {TF}Looking at the six Enneagram patterns in the hexad of the Enneagram diagram, shown in Figure 1.9, you can see that Ones move to Seven, Sevens move to Five, Fives move to Eight, and so forth (opposite to the directions the arrows point).

[Insert Fig. 1.9]

{T}Ones move to Seven when secure. Typically, Ones tend to be responsible and reliable; they have difficulty relaxing and letting go at work and even at home, because there is always so much that needs to be done. However, when Ones are relaxed, typically when on a vacation, they take pleasure in every new experience and enjoy themselves thoroughly. Sevens move to Five when relaxed. Instead of moving quickly from idea to idea, task to task, or person to person, they become quieter and more reflective, and they enjoy their solitude. Fives move to Eight when they feel secure and relaxed. At these times, Fives begin to become more visible, taking more authoritative stances; they can exert authority under other circumstances, too, but at less relaxed times their authority tends to be based on expert knowledge. When Fives move to Eight, their authority often takes on a more personally assertive quality. When Eights move to their security point at Two, they often relax with great pleasure, turn their attention to other people's needs, and become generous and giving. Although Eights can be highly intuitive when they are not relaxed, their more usual intuition comes from the gut, as if they sense or know something to be true. When Eights are relaxed, however, their intuition also comes from the heart, as if they feel something to be true. Twos move to Four when they feel relaxed. This movement often draws out a Two's artistic and creative side, perhaps through drawing, painting, or writing. Although Twos can also take pleasure in the aesthetic under normal conditions, when they are relaxed, their aesthetic endeavors often emerge from a deeper place in their interior life. Fours move to One when they feel secure, which often enables them to become more self-disciplined and more focused on external reality. Fours at their security point can begin to become more balanced, fluctuating less from the swings of interior moods and achieving more equilibrium among their thoughts, feelings, and actions. Please note: There are also wide variations in how people behave in relation to their security points. Security may not be altogether positive for some people, who may, when relaxed, actually demonstrate the negative characteristics of the security point. For other people, security and relaxation are desirable; these individuals will tend to exhibit more of the security point's positive qualities. The most useful way to think about your stress and security points is to view them as two additional places on the Enneagram where you can gain insight into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. {A}Revisiting Your Enneagram Style {TF}As you think back to the top four choices of Enneagram style you made earlier, it is possible that you selected your core Enneagram style and a stress or security point. For example, you may have selected Two, Eight, and Four. If so, Two may be your core style, and Eight and Four your stress and security points, respectively. Or, you may have selected Seven, One, and Five; if your core pattern is Seven, your stress and security points are One and Five. {T}It is most common for an individual's core Enneagram style to be among the top four choices made. In addition, people often find that they have chosen a wing, a stress point, or a security point among their top four. Occasionally, all of these appear in the top four paragraph choices. Now that you know more about the Enneagram system, go back and look at your four top selections again.

{A}Conclusion

{TF}The next chapters will help you to understand how your Enneagram style gives you reasonably predictable behaviors at work in almost every type of situation. If you have already been able to identify your Enneagram style, the chapters that follow will show you how to gain self-insight and improve your interpersonal relationships. If you are still unsure about your Enneagram style, the upcoming chapters will also be of benefit by demonstrating further the likely behavior patterns for all nine Enneagram styles in common work situations, such as communication, feedback, conflict, teams, and leadership. So please don't become discouraged if you do not know your Enneagram style at this point. After you have read all of the remaining chapters, it will be clear to you that the behaviors, thoughts, and feelings of a certain style really describe you with a high degree of accuracy. {T}The following story will help demonstrate the value of the Enneagram in business applications: Leon and Stan, both senior attorneys at a large firm, could not tolerate being in the same room together. Because Leon, a Three, and Stan, a Six, avoided all contact with each other, their hostile relationship was not actually a problem for them; it did, however, pose a huge dilemma for the firm. Leon, a rainmaker, provided one-third of the firm's revenue, while Stan's area of legal specialization made it necessary for him to be involved in 95 percent of the firm's cases. At the urging of the firm's managing director, Leon and Stan consented to work on their relationship with a consultant. They planned to first meet separately with the consultant to clarify their individual concerns. They agreed to meet jointly later to resolve their differences. Well versed in the Enneagram, the consultant taught both attorneys the Enneagram system and helped them identify their particular styles. They met individually with the consultant for four months. At the end of that time, Leon and Stan were able to work together comfortably on common projects. Through the individual sessions, both had realized that their issues with each other actually reflected more about themselves than about the other person. Neither felt the need for a joint meeting.

As a Three, Leon had dismissed Stan because he felt annoyed by Stan's perpetual worrying and pessimistic attitude. Leon began to realize that Stan's "can't-do," worst-case scenario thinking disturbed him because a focus on the negative raised the specter of failure and potentially impeded Leon's need to get quick results. Leon came to understand that these were his issues as a Three, and he began to appreciate Stan's insights and careful deliberations.

Stan, a Six, had perceived Leon as a showman, with more bravado than substance. Upon reflection, Stan gained the insight that he actually wished he could be more like Leon, who seemed to function without any perceptible self-doubt. Using the Enneagram, Stan came to appreciate that Leon also worried, but that he used his anxiety to move toward action. While the two never became close friends, each went on to use the insights of the Enneagram for his own self-development and for improving both his work with clients and his relationships at home.